Method 1: Basic suggestions
1. Love with your heart. Take a serious look at the love between you and your partner. Sometimes we are so obsessed with emotional problems, or gradually get used to everything that we forget how to love someone. Make sure you love your lover with all your heart, and the other person loves you with all his heart.
2. Open your heart. Are you hiding something from your partner? Did you deliberately behave differently in front of each other? You can't improve your married life unless you are honest with your partner. Both sides should trust each other and love the real one.
3. Keep love low-key. Showing love in public actually implies emotional problems; Of course, it is not a good thing to have a conflict in public. If you find that you have a tendency to show love, then you should pay attention. There may be problems in your relationship.
4. Cherish what you have now. You say that your lover snores loudly at night, and you say that you can't stand his/her toilet habit, but think about it, if he/she really dies one day, if he/she is sent to the emergency room one day, and then the doctor slowly walks up to you and tells you a bad news, then do you think those trivial things are still worth caring about? When you think like this, all the little annoyances will disappear. Remember, there is no eternal life, so when you can love, love seriously.
5. There are three chapters. Making some rules can solve many problems from the source. You can discuss who you will spend the holidays with, who will be responsible for cleaning, and so on. Discuss (or write down) things before they really happen, which will give you a sense of each other's decisions, so that when things really happen, there will be no unpleasantness.
6. Improve sexual life. Improving sexual life is always beneficial and harmless, and it is also a necessary condition for improving married life. This does not mean increasing the number of sexual lives, but increasing the fun of each sexual life. Give it a try!
7. lower expectations. If you expect your lover to be full of youth when he is in his 4 s, will he have Harvard IQ or Mark? Zuckerberg's fortune in his career can read your mind like a mind reader, so you will never be satisfied with your feelings. Raising expectations of each other is not actually loving your partner, but loving your imagination. A leopard cannot change his spots, so don't give yourself unrealistic expectations, but learn to love each other's own advantages.
Method 2: Close and Far
1. Help each other. Husband and wife should pay attention to cooperation, which means that sometimes you have to try to do something you are reluctant to do. In other words, the most important thing is that both of you should learn to compromise and solve the problem through consultation. If only one party compromises blindly, then marriage will become tense. For example, a wife said to her husband, "Do you have to go to work on Thursday night? My mother is coming this weekend, and I need you to help me clean up. " Then the husband replied, "the plan has been made, not that it will change." This kind of dialogue will cause problems in marriage. In fact, the husband might as well answer: "I still have to go to work. But I can get up early in the morning to help you clean up. "
2. Husband and wife are United. This is especially important after having children. Speak out when you meet something, and decide how to deal with different problems together, so that you can work together in Qi Xin. If one party always monopolizes the exclusive rights, marriage will enter an embarrassing situation. For example, if your daughter asks if you can go to a party, and you and your wife still have some differences on this issue, you'd better say to your child first, "Dad and I have to discuss it, and we'll decide to tell you later."
3. Overcome difficulties together. The meaning of marriage lies in being able to meet the challenges of life with the other half. If you are in trouble, you can ask your lover for help. You can ask each other for advice when you need it. Of course, you should tell the other person that when he/she is in trouble, he/she can also ask you for help. So the distance between you two is closer.
4. Look for similar interests. Find something that you both love, so that you can relax while spending time with each other. Try some beneficial activities, such as sports; Or activities that make people feel young and energetic, such as playing games.
5. Have time to be alone. It is also important for both sides to maintain independent personality. A person needs enough time to be alone and pay attention to his own needs. Therefore, it is also necessary to ensure that both parties have time alone in marriage. For couples with children, you should take turns to take care of the children, so that both of them have a chance to have fun alone.
6. Pay attention to each other's life. Don't just live under the same roof, but live two completely different lives. To cultivate interest in your lover's work and hobbies, support him/her, encourage him/her, and be a part of it as much as possible.
Method 3: Find novelty
1. Have a "February date". Every other year or so, take some time to find out what it was like to be in love at the beginning, see what changes have taken place in you, and talk about your expectations for future life. You can take a week or two to pretend to go back to when you first started dating. The effect of this method on improving marriage is amazing. Of course, the date of appointment doesn't have to be in February, just choose a time convenient for you.
2. Continue the "first date". Dating more is very important for maintaining emotional health, which will give you more opportunities to communicate.
3. Get to know each other again. Take time to get to know each other again. Introduce yourself to your lover as if you met him for the first time, and let him introduce himself to you. Tell me about your work, hobbies, family and future plans.
4. Do something new and interesting. When dating new people, one usually becomes very active and likes to try new things. You can also try this method. Let's have an extraordinary date and try something new together, which will bring vitality to your feelings, make you feel young, free and even have a feeling of love.
5. managing feelings. When two people get along for a long time, it is easy to indulge themselves. When dating, I no longer dress up carefully, and I usually throw my underwear around. However, at least every year when the first date comes, you should clean yourself up. This is telling the other person that he/she is still worth your effort.
6. Show love to each other. Don't think that if you get married, you don't have to talk about love every day, so you can stay with each other without spending time. Love him/her like he/she can leave at any time, which can tell him/her that you really can't lose him/her.
Method 4: Have fun together
1. Play games. Nowadays, board games are making a comeback, and playing chess is undoubtedly a kind of entertainment that is beneficial to improving communication. Classic board games include Scrabble Monopoly, etc. Of course, there are many rising stars, such as ticket tour, Kakasong, Catan Island and Storybrooke. You don't have to just play with two people. You can invite friends every week or every month to join in the "game night".
2. Go out to play together. You can make some friends, go out for dinner, go to the movies or go around. This gives you the freshness of entertainment and making friends together. Of course, you can also go out with your friends separately.
3. read books together. You can arrange the same reading time and read a book at the same time. So you won't be out of talk. Books can be selected from current events, parenting, history, science fiction and so on.
4. Learn an art. You can learn dancing, musical instruments and painting together, which will not only build new bonds between you, but also find new fun, and at the same time make you feel proud of each other.
5. Go for an outing. Go out and travel more. You don't have to go abroad, even if you just play in your backyard, it will be a wonderful experience. Going out will really give people a different mood, and at the same time, it can also create beautiful memories.
6. Cook for each other. Take turns cooking dinner for each other. If you are both poor cooks, you can take a cooking class together, or follow an online tutorial together. This will not only establish new ties, but also take up time (you have to eat rice anyway, right? ）。
Method 5: Improve communication
1. Be careful. Improving communication style is the most important thing to improve feelings. The first step to improve communication is to learn to listen. Listen carefully to each other's words, observe their body language and their reactions to different situations. Sometimes, although you really want to say something, you can't or shouldn't say it (sometimes even at the legal level), so you should be good at listening to the other person's implication.
2. increase communication. Spend more time talking, even if both of you are not good at words, more communication will always increase the chances of telling the truth. Dinner, before going to bed, and after waking up in the morning are all good opportunities for conversation. In short, we should create communication opportunities as much as possible.
3. Give both sides a chance to talk. When talking, both sides should have time to talk. If your partner is not a talkative person, then you should be persuasive and try your best to let him/her say what he/she thinks.
4. Listen carefully. When the other person speaks, you must listen attentively. People get along with each other for a long time and often ignore what the other person says (especially if you are not interested). But in the long run, this bad habit will have a negative impact on feelings. So try to listen to each other carefully.
5. Learn to put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that what the other person says is unpleasant or disagrees, or what the other person does is not as you wish, then you should learn to think from the other person's point of view. People rarely deliberately do vicious things; But people often stick to what they think is right, or express their opinions from the information they have. But remember, everyone makes mistakes.
6. Be honest with each other. Whether the other party has done something wrong or you have done something wrong, you should communicate openly. Always be responsible for your feelings and actions, dishonesty is also one of the common marriage problems. Of course, to be honest with each other must first be honest with yourself.
7. Pay attention to your emotions. When you are angry with each other (or have any other emotions), you should examine your emotions and think about why you are like this. Sometimes it seems that you are angry with your lover, but what makes you angry is something else. For example, your husband bought a PS4 with his own money, and then you were angry with him. But are you really angry that he bought himself a game console? Or because you think you have no money to buy things for yourself? In that case, the responsibility is not yours.
However, if he bought a game console with the money that should have been used to pay the car bill, you can be forgiven for being angry. You should learn to distinguish whether the problem in your mind really exists, whether it is a big problem or a small problem.
8. Need help. The effect of marriage counseling is hard to tell, sometimes useful, sometimes useless. If you think this marriage is difficult to run, you might as well give it a try. Just make sure that the person who gives you marriage counseling must be a professional certified counselor. Some people obviously have no qualifications but try to cheat.
Method 6: Be wise when making conflicts
1. Avoid insulting language. Disputes often start with a small contradiction, and then escalate after one party speaks contemptuous language. Therefore, when there is a conflict, we should talk about the matter, not just blame it. Never insult anyone. Insulting the other party will only make the situation take a turn for the worse and often become the first step towards divorce.
2. Keep calm. When quarreling with your lover, never quarrel to the point of tension. Calm down for a while, and then start to solve the problem when both sides regain their senses.
3. Just talk about current affairs. Don't dig up old scores and accuse the other party of what they did last summer. It's no good at all. The past is the past, and turning over old scores will only turn lovers into enemies, while you should have been a pair of one mind and one mind.
4. Learn to be responsible. If you do something wrong, you should confess it and move on with your life. If you misunderstand each other, admit your mistake; If you have an idea, you should express it. Don't complain that your mother thinks the other person spends too little time at home, but say what you think. This conversation is more effective.
5, talk about things. If your lover says something that he/she is not satisfied with, you must not change the subject like this: "Wait, how did I do it, but what happened to you yesterday?" If you have to say another thing, talk about it another time. As long as it is not closely related to the current matter, don't get involved.
6. Respect each other. Even if you quarrel, respect each other. Since you love each other, you should show your love. Don't abuse, don't shout loudly, and don't belittle each other's feelings or ideas. In fact, it is much easier to talk calmly than to quarrel.
7. The cold war is not as good as the hot war. Don't be silent, silence is the grave of marriage. If one party makes a hullabaloo about and the other party turns a deaf ear, it means that the silent party doesn't care anymore. You cannot be silent, and neither can your lover. If you find that your lover is having a cold war with you, then you should go to marriage counseling.
Method 7: Respond to external factors
1. People who encounter a heartbeat should not panic. This is also a common occurrence. Maybe you will meet such a person, which will make you go back to your childhood in an instant, and your heart will start to bump into deer, and you will think, is this because there is something wrong with my marriage? You will think that the problems that appear in the current marriage will not appear in the next relationship. But no one can say for sure about this. In fact, it is common to meet people with a crush, and sometimes these people will appear.