The first time I read the original Ode to Joy, I just felt that no one wanted to marry someone like Qu Xiaoyu, and no one wanted to be friends with her.

She relies too much on her money to do things freely. Even if it is sometimes well-intentioned, it is also harmful. What's more, when she helps others, she often doesn't ask whether others are willing or not, and she plays cards completely according to her own routine. How disrespectful she is.

But when I watched it the second time and the third time, I suddenly realized that Qu Xiaoyu was the best in the world. If we have such friends around us, if we girls have such women as mothers since childhood.

So how happy and lucky we should be.

In this article, I want to write about Qu Xiaoyu's view of marriage and love, which completely subverts my cognitive view of marriage and love, and is also the most exciting place about love and marriage in Ode to Joy.

Please always remember that we may never be Qu Xiaoyu, but we should know that there is such a woman who is worth learning.

Looking for a man Essence. Maybe China has a history of arranged marriages for thousands of years. After the sudden freedom of marriage, people attach great importance to the feelings of "I like" and "I like".

Even some parents will say something like this when facing the problem of their children's mate selection: "The most important thing is that she likes it."

And many girls like me, and my will is the most important criterion for choosing a spouse. I like it, and he's a thousand good. And if I don't like it, he is that bad.

Kong is a free man, but he never admits this concept of free mate selection.

Qu Xiaoyu's concept of mate selection is:

I am very clear about making friends and looking for a husband, only looking for the essence. Those people with bad nature, no matter how good their skills are, are of great benefit to me. I have been their fair-weather friends and customers all my life.

Whether making friends or finding a husband, what she likes is not the most important thing. It is not the most important thing that the other person is kind to her, but the most important thing is good nature.

Why does Qu Xiaoyu like Dr. Zhao so much?

Start with the face value and be loyal to the character.

Dr Zhao's face value is the beginning of Xiao Qu's liking for him. But if Dr. Zhao looks like Harmony, Xiao Qu-Kong will immediately stay away from him.

Xiao Qu Que despises Wang Baichuan and can't beat Qin Ying. For Qu Xiaoyu, she despises these two men and never has anything to do with their lack of money. What she despises is their essence.

She can do business with Wang Baichuan, but she always knows that all the men in Rainbow are selfish in nature. She even despises a man like Qin Ying from beginning to end, threatening to meet and have a fight.

When watching TV series, I just feel that Qu Xiaoyu is unreasonable. But when I read the original, the more I think about it, the more I feel how transparent Qu Xiaoyu is.

She knows very well. She knows who can be friends and who can only be customers. She knows good and evil, and knows far and near. She treats many people differently, but because of this difference, she shows her spirituality even more.

People who are kind in nature and who are kind to her are worth her efforts. And those who are very poor in nature, those who are not good to her, she also has her own thunder means. This distinction not only protects itself, but also makes the bad guys afraid of her.

Many people teach us not to look at people with "colored" eyes, but I want to say that single kindness is not true kindness. Sometimes true kindness is precisely the difference between good and evil in Qu Xiaoyu.

Andy is very clever, but she says she believes in Qu Xiaoyu's wisdom.

I hope more women can believe the wisdom of Qu Xiaoyu.

Are you getting married? A lifetime event Fan Meisheng once thought that marriage was a lifetime event.

But Qu Xiaoyu said that such an idea is terrible. Many years ago, I just read the original Ode to Joy. I was not married at that time, and I strongly disagreed with Qu Xiaoyu.

In my opinion, marriage is eternal. But now, after many years, I read the original Ode to Joy again, and I was shocked by Qu Xiaoyu's correctness. When a person regards marriage as a lifelong matter, he adds a lot of pressure to himself invisibly. I once insisted that it is the best state of youth to have no time to look back, and how lucky people who have been waiting to get married all their lives are.

But after watching Qu Xiaoyu, I suddenly feel that such an idea is really unrealistic and will be very tired. Because most of the beautiful marriages we expect are full of holes, sometimes you really don't know what kind of person you want to marry until the moment of divorce.

Once you regard marriage as a major event in your life, you will often encounter a bad marriage, and it is easy for you to push yourself to the wall.

But once our thoughts are Qu Xiaoyu's thoughts:

I don't think marriage is a life-long event. Learning skills and making yourself happy is a lifelong event for a person. But I won't discuss it with you. You all let your ancestors teach you to be stupid and one-minded. You only know how to get married, but you don't know why. You wouldn't understand.

When a woman, especially a woman in the mood for love, knows from a very young age that marriage is not a lifetime thing, but a lifetime thing, then how wonderful her life should be.

Women in China, born with three virtues and four virtues, put too much emphasis on selfless dedication and the significance of "caring for each other and educating their children". Too few people tell them that your happiness is the most important thing if you want to live for yourself.

The more I get married, the more I experience the world, and the more I feel that Qu Xiaoyu is the best in the world.

Women know how to make themselves happy is the first priority. As for men, as for marriage, it's all behind.

Moreover, as an experienced person, I tell you that only a woman who has the ability to make herself happy can really attract, retain and even contain men.

Because they have independent souls.

Love is healthy? Don't get sick. Qu Xiaoyu loves Dr. Zhao more.

However, how much she loves Dr. Zhao has her own bottom line. She will not condescend, nor will she degrade herself indefinitely. She loves Dr. Zhao, but she also cares about her friends, her career and her interesting soul.

Her love for Dr. Zhao is healthy.

First, I was moved by Yan value, and I kept my bottom line. Finally, I am loyal to Dr. Zhao's character and humor.

Every time I break up with Dr. Zhao, she doesn't make peace on her own initiative. It's that Dr. Zhao broke his word again and again, broke up and came to see you again.

When Qiu Yingying was infinitely ungrateful to Qin Ying, Xiao Qu said something that made me feel the most wonderful:

As long as there is one man in this fool's heart, everyone else is floating clouds and sick.

I have to say, when I read the original, Qiu Yingying lowered herself infinitely to marry Qin Ying, which really made me sick.

For a man, a friend, a benefactor, parents, and even their own dignity, nothing is needed.

It is also the love of poor people. Qu Xiaoyu's love is vigorous and impressive, but it won't make people feel too much. As Andy said, she only thinks that Qu Xiaoyu's love for Dr. Zhao is so smart and interesting. Qiu Yingying's love of diligence humiliated her.

Qu Xiaoyu's love for Dr. Zhao has this interpretation:

I know what I want, what I don't want, what I can afford, what I can't afford, what I can afford and what I can put down.

She loves Dr. Zhao, but she also has her own pride, self-esteem and what she thinks is more important. She can be desperate for Dr. Zhao, but she can also cherish herself when Dr. Zhao doesn't want her.

Compared with Xiaoqiu crying to her sister and parents on the 22nd floor, she really likes Qin Ying. She only needs the love of Qin Ying and Qu Xiaoyu, so she is independent and healthy.

Rereading Ode to Joy this time, I was surprised by many behaviors of Qu Xiaoyu. I even had that impulse. If I have a daughter, I hope she is happy, like an elf, who dares to love, loves and understands love.

A masterpiece of human life? Shinohara. I have been thinking since I got married as an adult, why do I like Qu Xiaoyu so much? I thought about it for a long time and found that the reason is simple, that is, Xiao Qu is not the Virgin anymore, but she loves herself more.

The standards of good women we met when we were young were diligence, kindness and gentleness, even being a good wife and mother. We even think that a good standard is to sacrifice yourself, pay and pay.

Just like teacher Miao's comment on kindness:

Kindness is the voluntary sacrifice of good people.

We are taught to be a good wife and give up our career as men, because men are the day at home. We are taught to be good mothers. With children, you can't have yourself.

It seems that in love and marriage, a woman can only prove her love, kindness and worth marrying by sacrificing herself.

But suddenly, an elf like Qu Xiaoyu jumped out. She tells you that the meaning of your life is to learn the skills that make you happy.

You can fall in love vigorously or get married, but these are not the things that determine your life. What really determines your life is your ability to make yourself happy.

Fan once felt that he had lived in vain. Why does she feel that she has lived in vain?

Because she doesn't live for herself.

Qu Xiaoyu lives for herself every day, so for her, the world is worth it.

Only those who love themselves can love the world.

I really wish you, even if you can never make a light rain, don't let your life be too bleak. Please live for yourself, if not vigorously, at least follow your inclinations.

Be good to yourself and become better.

As for those who don't allow you to be kind to yourself, those who say you are selfish, laugh it off.

A person who does not allow others to be happy is not happy himself.