Last weekend, I was invited to a children's party. I rang the doorbell, and the door was opened by an enthusiastic middle-aged woman, round and plump, with a shiny face, a thin braid hanging from the high bun line, and a slight bulge in her abdomen.

I watched curiously, people may be pregnant for more than three months. When I entered the door, I suddenly heard the familiar name "Ding Dong" from the hostess population (she was my colleague ten years ago), and I couldn't help but ask in surprise that it was "Ding Dong" who just opened the door for me.

At that time, the hostess got married, and the girl named Ding Dong was still her maid of honor. She is 24 or 25 years old, slim and hot, with bright eyes and a tall ponytail, which makes her look particularly youthful and passionate. I remember we used to sit together and play the Three Kingdoms Kill.

Entering the hall, introduced by the hostess, this is Ding Dong's husband, the best man at her wedding. Because I was particularly impressed, the best man was still playing games with me!

It's really hard to imagine Today, he, a handsome young man with hair wax and a small head, has become a unique symbol of middle-aged men. His hair is long, his back is bare, his forehead protrudes, and he is empty and wide, just like a river crossed by years.

You have to admit that the "greasy" years are vividly engraved on your face and body. I haven't seen you for ten years, and I am alive and kicking like a dream.

At that moment, I wondered if I was also a symbol of a middle-aged woman in their eyes. Alas, youth ran away with people like this.

Later, after a detailed chat, I realized that he had been an e-commerce business for many years, tossed around in Shenyang for several years and didn't make any money, and then returned to Qingdao. He has opened several online stores in JD.COM, working overtime and staying up late, with heavy work pressure and irregular schedules. I lost my hair badly. I borrowed money to buy a house and a car, and I plan to have a second child. When chatting, he couldn't help asking me: Is he suitable for this business?

Adult life is indeed the same everywhere: successful people succeed, while unsuccessful people laugh at themselves and worry, but they don't know that such self-comfort is greasy.

Greasy, in the final analysis, is still stressful, just a middle-aged crisis that is being experienced or about to be experienced.

2. Soul coordinates

First of all, I think the most important thing is to let go of the sunk cost and not let it lock you up. What is sunk cost?

The original meaning refers to the cost that cannot be changed by any decision now or in the future because the past decision has already taken place. When people decide whether to do something, they should not only look at whether it is beneficial to them, but also whether they have invested in it in the past.

We call these irrecoverable expenses, such as time, money and energy, "sunk costs".

To give a popular example, I waited for the bus for half an hour and still didn't come, but I didn't want to call a taxi, not stingy, but unwilling. What if I wait another five minutes for the bus to come? So, keep waiting, but it will take a few five minutes.

Sunken cost always has an unforgettable magic, and you will be annoyed by it, or you will be reluctant to let go and get deeper and deeper. ?

An accountant added me earlier. One day he left me a message saying that he had been paying attention to the first workplace network for more than three years. I have read your article, too. I especially agree with the concept of career planning. I also thought about changing careers and felt it necessary to make a career plan.

However, the accounting industry, which has worked for seven years, has been abandoned. I'm a little reluctant. I don't know what the percentage of income will be after changing careers. Now the more terrible it is, the more afraid it is of action. Not only do I see all kinds of shady scenes in the company circle that make me desperate, but my future life also makes me breathless. I have to support a family of four with a mortgage and take care of the elderly on both sides. ...

I understand the truth, but I still can't get rid of this black hole when I change my career.

This reminds me that some time ago, ZTE's R&D personnel with bright resumes in 985 colleges and universities jumped from the enviable pyramid and went to life and death at the moment when they were discouraged by enterprises, and they were always 42 years old. ?

He who is not afraid of death is afraid of living. Happiness is walking on thin ice, leaving only white-haired parents and starving children, speechless desolation.

Any industry has its ups and downs, and any workplace will not be eternal, declining or bottleneck. Can we try our best to change course in the first half of hitting the rocks? How do you know if it's useful without trying? I have to say that we think too much and do too little.

Therefore, people always tend to worry only about the immediate things, even if they pawn the future resources, they should save the immediate ones. Even if it is broken or meaningless to you. ?

It's time to let go, be sure to pull away from your eyes, be sure to cut the gordian knot and discard it decisively! Don't question, don't hesitate!

Life is so long, and how many people can live so clearly and transparently, just stop loss in time and not be "wasted" in an endless black hole! Without a trace of fetters and fetters, you can take chances, be bold and enterprising, and you will have a chance. Only when you have the opportunity can you arouse new life and you can shine.

Second, change lanes in advance and make a career plan for yourself, no matter what age you are now.

If an industry is prosperous, even if you are treated unfairly in one place, you can find another place to work when you go out. Just because an industry is dying, you want to stay in the company even if you beg, because you know there is nowhere else to go when you go out, and you will be desperate when you are old and young.

Take the real estate circle as an example. From 2004 to 65438+2004, all industries in the real estate chain were paying dividends. Now that the real estate golden decade has passed, small developers have been eliminated, and large developers have steadily digested houses that have been hoarded for many years.

Many people are blindly optimistic about their own industries. For another example, the current situation is that the communication industry will only be more difficult year by year before the 5G comes out, and it will be better after the 5G comes out, but it will not reach its peak. Moreover, the basic dividend period of the Internet has passed, and the competition behind it will become more and more fierce.

I once wrote an article about how to plan my career well, "What should I plan for the so-called career planning?"? ? 97% of people are wrong! "I suggest you have a look.

Third, recognize the reality and find a balance between family and career.

What I want to say is that today's society is no longer a world where men are outside and women are inside. If the family conditions do not allow, if the pressure increases, why not ask parents to help take care of the children earlier, so that the wife can return to the workplace as soon as possible and enhance the core competitiveness?

Also, if you have nothing to think about, don't rush to have a second child. Looking at other people's children, I always feel that I am missing something. The premise is that you need to know the economic strength, parenting energy, family burden, work prospects and so on.

Fourth, manage money and study, find a method that suits you and make progress in 365 days.

People are often desperate, not because of despair, but because of disillusionment with the future. In fact, no matter what industry you are engaged in, it is very difficult to achieve financial freedom through work these days.

We should establish the concept of financial management as soon as possible. In fact, every generation has a way to get rich besides working. The stock market in 90 years, the house in 00 years, and the bitcoin in 10 years, even if you don't catch up with the best, it's not bad to buy some Maotai Tencent. Many people in Tencent finally spent their mid-life crisis on stocks. There won't be so many such opportunities in the future, but pay attention to the surroundings and there will always be opportunities.

If you want to invest, you'd better give the money to a professional institution, and the success rate will be much higher than your own random investment.

Then there is learning. Although middle-aged people can't compare with fresh graduates in any way, because of the precipitation in the workplace and the accumulation of experience, many problems can be figured out by themselves, and then suitable learning methods can be found.

I spent a lot of money this year, bought dozens of books and listened to countless forty or fifty books. The income must be greater than the input. For example, I made an appointment at 65438+February 27th to learn about the first lecture of "Career Change: Six Raiders to Ensure Success" by Teacher Yang Yi of Live No.1 Workplace Network, because I know better than anyone that this course is the only live broadcast course that the company has made every effort to build, and it is also the world I have seen so far.

I contact dozens of customers every day. Relatively speaking, the consulting fee for the one-to-one career change project of the first workplace network is still quite high. At this time, you can harvest more than 5,000 project courses only by using 49 yuan. Do you think it's worth it?

I hope that in 20 18, we can work together to make the official account of wechat (career-00 1) of the first workplace network synchronize more practical and high-quality products and make progress together with you!