Anyone who pays a little attention to contemporary Chinese literature will be familiar with the name Chi Li. As a famous contemporary female writer, many of her works have left a very deep impression on us, and many of them have been adapted into film and television dramas, such as "Life Show", "Coming and Going", etc., all of which have achieved great success. .

In fact, Chi Li is not only a successful writer, she is also a successful mother.

Under Chi Li's careful care and upbringing, her daughter Lu Yichi's performance is also remarkable:

She has never been to a peiyou class, and in the fierce competition between primary school and junior high school, she She stood out in the exam and was admitted to the best middle school in Wuhan: Wuhan Foreign Language School;

In junior high school, she still had not attended the Peiyou class, but she passed the fierce high school entrance examination and was admitted to Wuhan Foreign Language School. ’s high school;

When she was a freshman in high school, Lu Yichi successfully applied to study at Harmony Middle School, a key middle school in the UK, without going through an agency;

When she graduated from high school, she was admitted by the British She was admitted to the University of London, the University of Warwick, and the University of Bath, and she faced all the interviews alone when she was just 18 years old.

Why is Chi Li’s daughter so outstanding?

After reading Chi Li's "Li", I understand the reason.

In my opinion, the most fundamental point of Chi Li’s upbringing of her daughter is: respect!

How does Chi Li respect her children?

First of all, she respects the child's character weaknesses.

In Chi Li's view, Yi Chi was not particularly smart or talented when she was a child. On the contrary, she was timid, cowardly, tolerant, and particularly afraid of the strength and arrogance of others.

In this regard, Chi Li did not accuse and complain bitterly. She chose to spoil her children. This kind of spoiling is not random love such as giving money or snacks, but any kind of love. Always choose to protect your children, trust your children, and create as much happy and relaxed atmosphere for your children as possible.

Chi Li wrote in the article: "As long as anyone looks down on my child or suppresses her, I will try to eliminate it, even if it offends or threatens people, I will do it." Chi Li also said: " I must pamper my child's weak points, and I must use pampering to strengthen my child's weaknesses so that she can gradually adapt to this domineering society and the environment of a competitive society. Maybe there are parts of her character that are inherently difficult to change, but. I can try to make her psychological quality stronger and stronger, gradually become less timid, scared and uncomfortable, and slowly join the crowd - no matter how they sarcastically attack and rob you, in the future, when she grows up, this will happen. There are still many people in the world who are unhappy with you.”

Under Chi Li’s careful care and love, Yi Chi’s character weaknesses have successfully changed and improved in a favorable direction, and she is no longer afraid. Children, even those who are aggressive and predatory.

Secondly, respect children’s social interactions.

When Yi Chi was four or five years old, he took it upon himself to invite the children in the kindergarten to a meal cooked by his mother. Although Chi Li was very busy writing, their home was not very big at that time and they did not even have enough bowls, chopsticks, tables, chairs and benches. , However, she agreed.

She discussed the recipes with her children, and then went to a neighbor's house to borrow tables, chairs, benches and tableware. Then she went to the vegetable market and made a lot of purchases. Afterwards, she cleaned the dining tables and chairs, and sterilized the dishes, chopsticks and kitchen utensils with high temperature. Finally, the first banquet in my daughter’s life was successfully held.

After that, from elementary school to junior high school, from junior high school to high school and even university, Yichi’s classmates not only often came to the house to eat Chili’s cooking, but also slept at home, watched the World Cup together, and even stayed at home Watch horror movies together.

Regarding this, Chi Li’s thoughts are as follows:

I must pamper my child. I must support my child's social interaction and mobility. My child must make more friends, blend in with the crowd, and get to know the crowd in order to minimize timidity until it is eliminated.

The effect of this kind of respect is also obvious. Chi Li, who considers herself to be withdrawn and not good at interacting with others, has raised a sunny and cheerful daughter who is very popular. Among the crowd, her daughter is like a fish in water and has gained wide popularity. The opportunity to get to know people and understand the world.

Again, respect children’s playful nature.

Children love to play by nature. When Yi Chi was a child, Chi Li often took her children to do outdoor activities and get close to nature. In Chi Li's view, a child's impressions and emotions about nature are fertile ground for the seeds of wisdom to germinate.

This kind of play has been throughout Yichi's childhood.

After entering elementary school, when her classmates were busy taking various cultural and art classes, Chi Li was a little shaken, so she asked Yi Chi: "Do you like to learn some personal expertise?" ? Do you like to continue studying in extracurricular classes after school? ”

Yi Chi’s answer is: “No, I just like to play.”

This answer is firm. Chi Li's confidence and her resolute defense of Yi Chi's happy life allowed Yi Chi to spend a period of elementary school life that was almost "crazy fun".

Of course, this does not mean that Chi Li does nothing about her daughter’s education. She insists on telling Yi Chi stories and accompanying her personally. Moreover, after Yi Chi offered to learn piano, she contacted a piano teacher for her. Teacher, support her in learning piano.

The mother is supportive and the child is also motivated. Every time he comes home from playing wildly outside, after resting, Yichi will take the initiative to practice on the piano. He persists in this way, and later passes the level 9 piano exam!

In addition to respecting children's character weaknesses, interpersonal relationships, and playful nature, Chili's respect for children is also reflected in her support for every major and seemingly ignorant life choice of her children.

When he was entering junior high school, Yichi decided to apply for the best middle school in Wuhan: Wuhan Foreign Languages ??School. Faced with a daughter who had never attended a Peiyou class or a Mathematical Olympiad class, Chi Li thought about the fierce competition and the difficulty of admission, and thought that if she failed, she would lose the possibility of enrolling in other schools. Chi Li did not choose to throw cold water on her, and would speak out when she was rejected or scolded. When the time came, she stopped it.

She said: "I can't refuse my child's good wishes. Looking at Yichi's steady and tepid demeanor, I think she is very worthy. ... If she would rather take the risk, To pursue her most desired goal, as a mother, I can only fully support her and do everything possible to help her unleash her greatest potential at critical moments."

So, under tremendous pressure, the mother and daughter began to work together. Fight with all your strength for Xiaoshengchu.

While helping her children hire math teachers for tutoring in mathematics, she sent them to tutoring night after night;

At the same time, she encouraged her children: "There are many unavoidable situations in life. A person will have to face many difficulties at certain moments. In order to maintain their dignity and dignity, they must defeat some things that they hate, such as mathematics." When the children occasionally lack confidence, she comforts them: "Even if they fail, it is still a victory! There’s an idiom called ‘It’s a blessing in disguise’. If you fail, you might have another blessing later. Don’t think too much about it. Mom will be responsible for programming the TV series. After all, she is a writer.”

With such a wise, warm and strong mother as a strong backing, it is difficult for children to succeed.

As expected, Yichi successfully passed the exam from primary school to junior high school and was admitted to the oldest key middle school in Wuhan: Wuhan Foreign Languages ??School.

Later, Yichi successfully passed the high school entrance examination again and was admitted to the high school department of Wuhan Foreign Languages ??School.

However, when he was in his first year of high school, Yichi came up with the idea of ??studying abroad. The idea of ??a fifteen-year-old child going abroad to study alone and applying independently is simply earth-shattering!

Chi Li has various concerns in her heart. She feels that even if her children cannot get the ideal results in the domestic college entrance examination, with her ability, she can still plan a wonderful future for them. , such as being a child star or a writer, she can pave the way for her daughter.

However, her daughter is not interested in any of these. She insists on going abroad to attend high school and then get into a top university in the world.

So Chi Li once again chose to support her daughter's choice.

She said: "I just can't disobey my child. I just don't want to force my child. I don't want to see her look like a weak animal. ... How can I refuse my child's request to study abroad? ?" She encouraged her child again: "The good things in the world belong to all mankind, go and fight for it yourself." So, she once again applied for her daughter to go abroad to make suggestions and inquire about various information.

They bypassed the study abroad agency and chose to submit their application directly to the school. After getting in touch with the principal, Yichi successfully passed the British school's admissions examination.

Then, she was actually admitted to a key middle school in the UK: Harmony Middle School!

It is not difficult to imagine what happened next. Sixteen-year-old Yichi went to England to study alone and adapted well to study and life there. When she graduated from high school, she successfully received a degree from University College London (UCL). , University of Warwick and University of Bath admission notices. And she chose her most ideal school, University College London, UCL. This school is the alma mater of Mahatma Gandhi. It has 18 Nobel Prize winners in economics, and these Nobel Prize winners have all taught on the front line. It is an ideal choice for someone who wants to learn real knowledge and skills.

Psychologist Li Xue wrote in her book "When I Meet Someone": "Please give your child space and let her feel and experience various things freely. Don't use our narrow Use your mind to limit the infinite possibilities of your children. If you teach your children everything you know about the world, how can your children be better than you? As long as they are not dangerous, let them experience it on their own... Children are directly connected to things without being influenced by their parents. Only by inserting a knife across the child can you gain the breadth and depth of life and feel the meaning of life."

What this passage essentially means is a kind of respect. When an adult faces a child, he must accept it. Get rid of your own arrogance and face your children with a humble attitude.

Speaking of this, I am very grateful to my mother.

When I was in my second year of high school, my mother, who was a civil servant, got a piece of information that high school students could apply for the local party school. Once admitted to the party school, they could safely enter the government department after graduation. Be an established civil servant. My mother came to the school to find me who was living on campus, told me about this matter, and wanted me to take the party school exam.

However, I had so much pride in my heart at that time. How could I be willing to go to a college and then stay in my hometown town to repeat the life of my parents’ generation?

I firmly rejected my mother and said: "Mom, I want to try again, I want to get a bachelor's degree in college, and I want to work in a big city!"

My mother After listening to my words, she did not try to persuade me earnestly. She agreed with my choice and took the long-distance bus home again.

When I was about to graduate from college, I wanted to come to Beijing to find a job that would help me obtain my Beijing household registration and have a registered job. My mother didn’t pour cold water on me. She immediately called my distant relatives in Beijing and helped me get in touch. Where to stay in Beijing.

If my mother had imposed various restrictions and obstacles on me in accordance with her own wishes and imagination of life, I probably would not be living in Beijing’s Second Ring Road today, in my favorite environment Lived.

As for my neighbor Xiaoyue, she studied very well in junior high school and was admitted to a key local high school during the high school entrance examination. However, her parents used her old age as an excuse to let her study in a technical secondary school in an agricultural school. At that time, anyone who studied in a technical secondary school could basically get a job. Her parents, who were civil servants, designed a life path for her according to their own wishes: study in a technical secondary school, return to her parents' workplace after graduation, continue to work as a civil servant, and then get married early. Give birth to children so that parents can rest assured when they are old.

After that, Xiaoyue returned to her parents’ workplace, became a civil servant, and got married very early. However, she got divorced soon after giving birth and then interfered in other people’s marriages. I became a mistress who could not become a regular employee. That kind of pain can be felt without close contact.

However, in fact, Xiaoyue was a very good girl when she was in school. She wrote very good articles. When she was in technical secondary school, she often published articles in our local newspaper. If she was in In college, after studying the major she likes, her today could be completely different.

So you see, every child has unlimited possibilities. As parents, we must try not to let our own limitations limit our children from pursuing those infinite possibilities. As a parent, the best attitude is actually two words. These two words are what Chi Li reflects in the book "Li": respect!