Family education

In the primary school to junior high school stage, while children are learning textbook knowledge, an important lesson is to learn to deal with the relationship between people, of course, Including relationships with the opposite sex. Education teacher Li Feng pointed out: "We will find that liking and hating go hand in hand. Children have people they like and people they hate. There is nothing to panic about."

As their physical development gradually matures, they develop a desire to love the opposite sex both psychologically and physically. On the other hand, modern middle school students form their sexual consciousness earlier. Due to their sexual physiological maturity and the influence of the social environment, they will develop a sexual consciousness, which means they begin to realize their own gender, the gender of the opposite sex, and the gender of both sexes. They began to think about how to play the role of a man or a woman, how to interact with the opposite sex, and developed a love for the opposite sex, but their mental state and social personality were immature. At this time, if parents and schools cannot correctly guide children's interactions with the opposite sex and cannot correctly help children deal with the confusion that arises in interactions with the opposite sex, children may go to two extremes - puppy love or withdrawn behavior.

First, as a parent, you must treat your children’s interactions with the opposite sex rationally

Every parent has been through adolescence and has more or less feelings about this period. You can all say a few words about this issue. However, most parents will talk about their children's interactions with the opposite sex, make irresponsible remarks, or even make unreasonable accusations. They will draw arbitrary conclusions and set the tone, which will lead to disharmony in the relationship between parents and children, trigger family conflicts, and even cause A family tragedy. Therefore, as a parent, you must first treat this issue with a peaceful mind and calmly view the interactions between children of the opposite sex. Most of today's children are only children with no brothers or sisters, so their curiosity about the opposite sex is much stronger than when their parents were young. Coupled with the development of society, their ideas will be more advanced and rich, so parents should not think that they are If you are someone who has experienced it, you will easily interfere, accuse, and jump to conclusions. Instead, you need to calm down and treat your child's opposite-sex interactions rationally. In fact, children's heterosexual interactions often cannot escape the sensitive and critical eyes of parents. How to deal with these behaviors is the key to the success of parents' education for their children. For example, what should parents do if they see their children bringing friends of the opposite sex to their home? Some parents will not calmly cross-examine their children in person, causing embarrassment to the children, and later causing displeasure and even quarrels between the two parties; some parents will look at them coldly, ignore them, and pretend not to care. In fact, they hide aside and check secretly; some parents will treat each other warmly, be generous and give their children free space. In fact, the author believes that as a parent, you can take advantage of this opportunity to observe and understand what kind of friends your children associate with. You can see the strengths and weaknesses of your children from your friends, so that parents can promptly and properly solve the problems in your children. As the saying goes, "the one who is close to vermilion is red, and the one who is close to ink is black." In fact, supporting children's interactions, especially normal interactions with friends of the opposite sex, will not only help children learn to get along with friends of various personalities, but also cultivate children's teamwork and cooperation spirit, and help children develop a sound personality.

Family education

Second, as a parent, you must be able to identify the heterosexual interactions between your children

As a parent of adolescent children, you must pay close attention to the heterosexual interactions of your children. For children who are unwilling to interact with the opposite sex, we should guide them to learn how to interact with the opposite sex and help them overcome communication barriers caused by shyness, autism, low self-esteem and other psychological factors. For children who have frequent interactions with a certain person of the opposite sex, we should actively discover the true purpose of the children's interactions from different aspects, promptly resolve the children's emotional attachment to the other party, guide them to establish a correct view on making friends, and have a positive attitude toward children's learning and life. There is no need to make a fuss or make a fuss out of a molehill in normal interactions. However, these interactions between children are sometimes difficult to distinguish, so parents must not take it lightly at this stage, neither strictly prohibiting nor letting it go.

Third, as a parent, you must ensure that you have effective communication channels with your children

Children’s interactions, especially with friends of the opposite sex, are mostly hidden, and they are often unwilling to let their parents I see that there are some things that they would rather write in their diary or tell their friends than tell their parents. Situations like this indicate that there is a communication problem between parents and children. What should you do as a parent? I think that first, parents should maintain a respectful and understanding attitude towards their children in their daily contact with their children, and establish a good communication atmosphere and mutual trust between them; second, parents should create channels for communication with their children. Parents can During the intervals of walking, guide the children to talk about some topics they are willing to talk about, and then extend it to topics about their study and life, listen to their views on classmates and others, and listen to them talk about things happening around them. Unknowingly, they It will expose one's own thoughts and concepts, allowing parents to grasp some things they cannot see. Some parents will also strengthen communication with their children by passing notes, writing letters to each other, sending each other messages, leaving messages online, etc. These are all good methods. Sometimes, parents can change the scene appropriately, such as taking their children to eat outside or take a walk together, so that the child can feel that your heartbeat is the same as his, and the child will have a mental resonance with you. This opens the door to parents. The author believes that when your child often talks to you about things happening around him at the dinner table, you will be a more successful parent; if he often takes the initiative to ask you some questions, you will be a very successful parent. .

Family education

Fourth, as parents, we must shoulder the heavy responsibility of family education

As the starting point of children’s education, parents have a huge responsibility , so as a parent, you must play a good role in teaching by words and deeds. First, you must have appropriate principles for dealing with others, have a correct life style, avoid watching unhealthy film and television works and books, and give your children a good family education atmosphere. Second, parents should learn some knowledge about the psychology and physiology of adolescence in order to analyze and grasp their children's thoughts and behaviors at this stage, so that they can have some theoretical guidance when dealing with these matters, rather than relying solely on subjective assumptions and Jump to conclusions based on personal experience. Third, parents should communicate with each other, learn from each other, and learn from each other. Some parents often lament that their children have grown up before they have learned how to educate them. Since most families at this stage have only children, the entire process of educating a child as a parent is brand new, and the experience and lessons gained cannot be used again. If parents can learn from each other, they can To the greatest extent, avoid blindness and randomness in educating children, and reduce or even avoid harm to children. Fourth, parents should communicate frequently with their children’s teachers. Children spend most of their time in school, and most of their interactions with friends of the opposite sex occur in school. If "puppy love" does occur, it will first show up in school, so parents should Communicate frequently with teachers, keep abreast of children's performance in school, and exchange information. Especially when parents feel that their children will have problems, this kind of communication is very necessary. Nowadays, many parents excuse themselves as being busy at work, having many things to do, and not being good at , If you don’t take the initiative to communicate with the school, it will be difficult to deal with it when there is a real problem. Fifth, when a child has the "puppy love" problem that parents are worried about, do not use simple and crude methods to reprimand the child. The parent's attitude may make the child farther away from the parent. When he cannot feel the warmth of the family, he will Will go to another place to seek and receive. Therefore, on this issue, it is better to be sparse than blocked. We should guide children to deal with this problem correctly. Through the people and things around them, we can explain the dangers of early love so that children can become a person with far-sighted vision and noble interests.

In short, for the healthy growth of children, as parents, we must treat their opposite-sex interactions with a normal mind. As long as we are more attentive, do more work, and provide them with more correct guidance and Education, I believe that children’s interactions with the opposite sex will be healthier, and they will take advantage of the advantages of opposite-sex interactions and grow up healthily.