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When chatting with a girl you like, how can you control yourself so as not to over-interpret?

This is still a bit difficult to restrain, because the other party is the girl I like!

For the people we like, our hearts will always be affected by their every move, and their words may make us happy or sad. Because of this, we tend to over-interpret words.

First of all, we need to be calm ourselves, not to be too flustered, to be more relaxed when facing this kind of thing, and not to mix too many other emotions into it. Sometimes it is not good, and things must be reversed at their extremes. Just chat with the other person normally and treat her as your good friend first, and don't think about the rest. It is important to maintain a happy mood, so as to make the other person feel happy. Also, don’t be too stiff when speaking, which will be very embarrassing. It is best not to have an awkward conversation early. If it is super embarrassing, the other person will not like you p>

Just because you like someone, you will pay special attention to it. No matter how much you restrain yourself on the surface, you cannot restrain yourself in your heart. You will be happy all day long because of her simple words. He would speculate for a long time because of her unintentional words and be puzzled.

If you are really moved by true feelings, especially deep ones, your heart will be confused and you will find that you are different from your usual self. If you say it, you will feel flustered, and you will feel shy just because you look into her eyes. No amount of reason or restraint can withstand your hot heart.

You can't hide your love. If you like her, your true feelings will naturally show up. If you deliberately control yourself, it will be very depressing. Obviously you like her, but you will think about what she says. Why should you? Barely restraining myself! It is recommended that you face your heart correctly.

This is an inner activity that everyone will have about the person they like. This is human nature. The more you like someone, the more you care. It is normal to interpret every word she says. , there is no need to exercise restraint, you just need to put your mind at ease. It’s not good to be too entangled. If you don’t understand anything, feel free to speak out and be honest with us. This way you won’t make yourself so depressed and pursue true love bravely. is the most beautiful.

What the poster means is that when chatting with a girl we like, we always interpret every word, every action, and every expression of the other party with wishful thinking, and we always tend to move in a direction that is beneficial to us. To understand the information conveyed to us by the other party.

For example, if the other person makes a common remark, you will interpret it as the other person is interested in you; if the other person just glances casually, you will interpret it as the other person's affection for you. The result is often tragic, otherwise the poster would not have asked "how to restrain over-interpretation".

People always have the instinct of "empathy".

For example, when you are in a good mood, the scenery around you will be beautiful; but when you are in a bad mood, you will feel that the surroundings are gray. In fact, these are just the externalization of our emotions. The surrounding scenery will not be moved by our emotions.

As the Sixth Patriarch Huineng said, it is not the wind that moves, nor the flags that move, but the heart of a benevolent person!

The "movement" here can be understood as the projection of our inner emotional fluctuations to the outside world.

When you chat with a girl you like, you will naturally be extremely happy, so the effect of "empathy" comes into play. When you interpret the other person's expressions and words, you will naturally be extremely happy. In fact, it is just a projection of your emotions.

So, when someone says something to you, you interpret it as saying that they are interested in you, but it may be the effect of "empathy", but it actually means that you are interested in them.

When someone glances at you, you interpret them as being affectionate towards you, but it may also be the function of "empathy", which actually means that you are affectionate towards them.

These behaviors are all subconscious and uncontrollable.

In the emotional world, when the fake is true, the true is also false, false and true, mysterious and mysterious, and many subtleties.

In fact, what gives people endless happiness is precisely the vague feeling of paradox.

For example, if a girl you like says "good night" to you, you can have unlimited imaginations in your mind. Is she interested in me? Otherwise, you won’t say good night to me easily. This specious hazy feeling can fully stimulate your nerves and give you unlimited imaginative happiness.

Think about it, this kind of happiness is really rare. No matter whether it is true or not, at least people are kind to you. Don't let reason nip your happiness in the cradle. Otherwise, if someone is really interested in you, but you have to "restrain" your emotions, wouldn't you just miss it?

But it should be noted that in order to avoid wishful thinking, when experiencing the hazy happiness of love, you must remember to add the word "maybe" in front:

She may be right. I'm interested.

She might like me.

Don’t make your imagination too absolute.

When you have difficulty communicating with the girl you like, when you hesitate and think that she has no intention of you (in fact, it is already clear in your heart, but you just don’t want to believe it) ), you need to restrain yourself and stop "over-interpreting" the other person's words and deeds.

All in all, if the other person is interested in you, then she must make you happy during her communication with you, just like a river happily rushing towards the sea.

Once you feel stagnant, like a river that is blocked and difficult to flow, please stop imagining it. At this time, all imaginations can easily lead to "over-interpretation".

Give an example. I once liked a girl, but she was never willing to go out to dinner with me alone. Whenever I asked her to have dinner alone, she would be declined. But when I usually chat with her, she often says "good afternoon" and "good night". What is even more confusing is that one day she suddenly gave me bowls, chopsticks and some pears she bought. The next day, she specially sent me a message asking: "Are Sydney pears sweet?"

When I received her gift, I was very happy and thought that the other party must also be interested in me. At that time, I was frantically searching for the meaning of girls giving bowls, chopsticks and snow pears to boys.

But later, I still couldn't eat with her alone. Finally, when I couldn't help confessing my love, she rejected me. After asking, I found out that she actually gave many gifts to other friends at that time.

In fact, when you first find that communication with a girl is not smooth and you don’t even have the opportunity to be alone with her, you should have realized that this river is blocked.

Then, at this time, we should wake up and tend to normalize the timing of all conversations with girls. We can even be a little pessimistic until the other party has a strong signal to express his affection for you ( This is a signal that any fool can understand).

To sum up, I think that when chatting with a girl you like, if the communication is smooth, it is okay to have a tendency to "over-interpret", but don't think about things in absolutes.

And when chatting with the girl you like is not smooth and you always feel that something is wrong, then you have to believe that the other person will definitely feel the same. At this time, please "overcome" your own empathy function and put an end to all specious imaginations until the other party gives a strong signal that they like you, thereby reversing your "unsmooth" feeling.

Above.

Follow the "Trouble Unlocking Channel" and unlock all the emotional troubles in the world together.

As for how to interpret her words, I think in front of my sweetheart, if the two of us have a pleasant conversation, whatever she says will make us think that the other person also likes us. There is nothing wrong with this kind of thinking, and there is no need to stop it too much, because the basis for having this kind of thinking is that you are confident in yourself and confident in the development of the relationship between the two.

Since the questioner said not to over-interpret, let’s talk about it:

In short, chat with the person you like , there is no need to hide your thoughts, and over-interpretation is not necessarily a bad thing. But if you want to restrain yourself, you must first stabilize your mind and control your emotions. Your mind will naturally be clear and you will naturally not over-interpret.

Have you ever wondered why over-interpretation occurs?

The reason why we fall into the trap of over-interpretation is that the starting point of all our thinking is to find out how the other person likes us!

When our brains focus on finding out how the other person likes us, our cognition will be biased to the point that we cannot distinguish the current situation, and we are even unwilling to face the real status quo. Only keep those situations that are good for our brains!

For example, when I ask you to focus on the color red in the room, your focus will automatically lock on the red items and ignore the surrounding items of other colors.

Let’s talk about something related. For example, if you often chat with a girl you like, and the other person is willing to chat with you, your brain will incorporate this willingness to chat with you into the expression that the other person likes you. Inside, for example, if a girl just agrees to have dinner with you, you will also interpret this behavior as that the girl may have a crush on you!

These situations are all over-interpretations, because the framework of all your thinking is whether the other party likes you, not whether she is suitable to be a good girlfriend or a good wife.

When you step out of the frame of how you like the other person and use your standards for making friends and your principle girlfriend’s standards to measure the other person’s words and deeds, you will be able to understand them more clearly. Understand the other party’s performance and understand the real world!

Let me briefly share some of my experiences.

When I face something that makes me feel painful and has great emotional ups and downs, my soul It's like hanging high in the sky, looking down at everything your body has done. Sometimes, you may even think pervertedly to make the pain and sadness feel more intense, and then carefully taste the taste!

Above!

What about this? It's very simple that you talk less and listen more to her, because talking too much will lead to mistakes, so a really smart person will not talk to you a lot, but will only listen to you, because in this way he can seize your opportunity and win. bigger. Don't think too much, say less what should be said, and don't say what shouldn't be said. Just take action

This is a bit difficult to restrain, because the other party is the girl I like!

For the people we like, our hearts will always be affected by their every move, and their words may make us happy or sad. Because of this, we tend to over-interpret words.

First of all, we need to be calm ourselves, not to be too flustered, to be more relaxed when facing this kind of thing, and not to mix too many other emotions into it. Sometimes it is not good, and things must be reversed at their extremes. Just chat with the other person normally and treat her as your good friend first, and don't think about the rest. It is important to maintain a happy mood, so as to make the other person feel happy, and don’t be too rigid when speaking, which will be very embarrassing. It is best not to start the awkward conversation early. If it is super embarrassing, the other person will not be able to improve your favorability. .

When chatting with her, don’t think too hard about other things. All you want to think about now is to have a pleasant chat with her. Put aside the other things first, and don’t care about the other person. If you say anything casually, you will have all kinds of interpretations in your head, thinking about the other person's thoughts for a long time. This is not good, and it can easily make you upset. Take your time with some things, and you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry.

So you, just chat with her normally. As for what the other party means, don’t try to figure it out for now. You will figure it out gradually in the future. Don’t think too much, and don’t keep talking to her in the future. What if you take some of the other person’s words and interpret them over and over again, but they just say them casually? Right, if you take it too seriously you will lose.

Why hide your true self? Especially in front of the girl you like? In fact, boys often don't know that most girls really have a "domineering CEO" complex, more or less, they always have it. Therefore, it is recommended that boys try to be more courageous and sincere when chatting or interacting with girls they like. Only sincerity can exchange for deep love, and sincerity is the most precious bond in communication.

No matter how much you like someone, you must also learn to manage your emotions. Don't rely on your rich knowledge reserves to talk eloquently in front of the person you like. The right amount of heat is just right!

If you worry too much, you will think too much. The more you think about it, the more other thoughts you will have. This is natural. People will always have their own character shortcomings. Neither you nor I can achieve the stillness of mind that those advanced Zen masters say. So be open-minded and relax in front of girls.