Life needs friendship. Affection, love and friendship are the most basic and important emotional relationships in life. Therefore, Confucius defined friendship as one of the five ethics (husband, wife, brother and friend). Bacon also said: "How important the friendship between people is to life. People who can't get friendship are poor loners all their lives. A society without friendship is just a bustling desert. "
The reason why friendship is so important is that people are social animals, group animals and cannot live without others. There is bound to be contact and communication between people, and friendship is born on this basis, which has also become the need of life.
Friendship has many influences on life. Metaphysical, there are emotional comfort, spiritual pleasure, encouragement and advice. Physically, there is physical help, financial help and material help. "If you tell a friend happiness, you will get two happiness; And if you talk to a friend about your troubles, you will be divided into half. " How well bacon said it! China's idioms and proverbs are also right: Give charcoal in the snow-in the ice and snow, you are starving to death. At this time, friends quickly sent charcoal for heating and food for nourishing the stomach. How can it not be exciting? Send goose feathers a thousand miles away, but the gift is light and affectionate-a greeting card and a small gift from a friend will bring unusual joy and comfort on birthdays or festivals. "Another function of friendship is to enhance people's wisdom. Because friendship can not only make people walk out of the stormy emotional world and enter the windy and rainy spring, but also make people get rid of the dark and chaotic thoughts and enter the bright and rational thinking. This is not only because friends can give you advice, but also because any kind of calm discussion can sort out the messy things that bother you. ..... Therefore, sometimes an hour of heart-to-heart conversation with friends may be more intelligent than a whole day of meditation. " (bacon)
According to everyone's situation, the principle of making friends is different.
A, career-oriented, for the cause of friendship. For example, thinkers Marx and Engels forged a profound friendship for the cause of human liberation. After decades of life and death, they never wavered. Engels' memorial speech in front of Marx's tomb has become an immortal masterpiece of mankind. Ba Jin and Cao Yu are close friends in literature, and Cao Yu's famous play Thunderstorm was published by Ba Jin. The friendship between the two has also been maintained for more than 60 years. In his later years, Cao Yu said to Ba Jin, "I will die in front of you and leave you the pain ..." He really walked in front of Ba Jin, who was six years older than him. At the age of 94, Ba Jin, who could no longer write, dictated a commemorative article, which lasted for more than a month. Finally, he wrote: "He left the pain to his friends and all those who loved him ... Can he really walk so peacefully?" Sincere feelings make people cry. The so-called friends often come from this kind of friendship. For the sake of ideals, you can naturally talk about everything, even if you offend, you don't care, you don't care about anything. The so-called friend in need also comes from this friendship. The process of realizing lofty ideals is very difficult, and it is difficult to get together without suffering.
Second, interest-oriented, forming friendship for the same hobby. "When mountains and rivers flow, you have to meet your bosom friends." Yu Boya was so excited to see his best friend Zhong Ziqi that he played the piano. When Zhong Ziqi died, Yu Boya was heartbroken and broke the string and piano to thank his bosom friend, and became a swan song. In contemporary times, making friends with hobbies has become a fashion, and Beijing opera lovers have become ticket lovers; Football lovers become friends; Literary lovers become literary friends, in addition to film friends, song friends, painting friends, chess friends and so on. This kind of friendship is also a good friend as long as the interest is elegant, so it is called elegant collection.
Third, be emotional and make friends with people with the same temperament. This type of friends are often complementary. For example, impatience and stability; Timid and bold; Introverted looking for liveliness. Li Kui jy and Yan Qing in Water Margin are such friends. Of course, they are all Liangshan heroes with the same aspirations.
Fourth, interest-oriented, mutually beneficial friends. Some of these friends can be mutually beneficial, but many just use each other. When there is no profit, they will fly away and become passers-by.
Everything has quality problems, and friendship is no exception. Nowadays, it is said that friends are also called "buddies", and "buddies" are divided into iron and iron. This is the quality problem. Buddies are not iron, so the quality of friendship is not high and unbreakable. Mr. Yu Guangzhong, a famous poet and scholar in Taiwan Province, divided his friends into four categories according to their qualities. The first class is both advanced and interesting. "Interesting" is easier to understand, while "advanced" is more abstract. Think about it carefully, the "senior" must be a person with noble moral character and outstanding talent. Of course, this kind of people's friendship is of high quality, but it is difficult to find high-class and interesting friends. The second class is very advanced and boring. Such friends may be dull, but they are more reliable. The third is low-level fun, and the fourth is low-level boring. "Low-level" is very abstract, and it is about people who are not noble or talented. During the Warring States Period, a Meng Changjun made such friends, that is, the so-called thieves. This kind of person has mixed reputation and many shortcomings, but sometimes he can show his brilliance out of friendship. There is another kind of waiting: fair-weather friends and evil friends. Wine and meat cross the intestines, and friends can stay in their hearts. What if there is no wine or meat? I'm afraid it's going to break up. The relationship between friends is not friendship, but collusion and use. The worst thing is a sweet-talking and invulnerable "friend". Li in the Tang Dynasty was such a figure. Julius Caesar, the great Roman emperor, unfortunately made a friend brutus. Caesar fell in love with him and made him his heir, but brutus lured Caesar into a trap and was killed.
Friendship also needs to be tested. The criteria for testing friendship are time and interest. What is enduring is "iron", such as Marx and Engels, Ba Jin and Cao Yu. It is "not iron" for people to let tea cool. Aristotle said, "We love those who love our friends, whether they are around us or not. For this reason, everyone loves to treat people with dead friends like this. " It's hard to make friends for profit. When the box is full of gold and silver, friends are like clouds, and beggars are slandered in a blink of an eye. "Historical Records Biography of Zheng Ji" gives an example: "At the beginning, Duke Zhai was Ting Wei, and guests came to the door; And waste, you can set sparrows outside the door. Zhai Gong was reinstated as Ting Wei, and the guests wanted to go. Zhai Gong, the general manager, said,' Friendship is not known until you die. Poverty and wealth are a state of knowing each other. One is expensive and the other is cheap, and friendship can be seen. "True friendship is mostly spiritual and emotional. Zhuang Ziyun: "Those who get the benefits of their husbands will force the poor and the evil to abandon each other." People belonging to heaven force the poor and the wicked to accept each other. It is still far from her husband's acceptance and abandonment. The friendship between gentlemen is indifferent, and the friendship between villains is willing; A gentleman is indifferent to his relatives, but a villain is willing to rest. This passage means that friends who meet Eli will dislike each other when disaster comes, while friends who meet their hearts will help each other when disaster comes. A friend of a gentleman's makes light interests and deep feelings. Little friends are very interested, but they are easily cut off. Yet I feel the harmonious heart-beat of the Sacred Unicorn, "bosom friend" and "bosom friend" can become bosom friends. And a bosom friend is hard to meet, so there is the gift of "a bosom friend is hard to find in a lifetime"
Get the friendship, but also pay attention to maintenance. Friendship is like a sapling, which needs constant watering and fertilization. "Relatives are getting closer." So is friendship. When you are in one place, you often come and go. When you are in two places, Hongyan will pass books and friendship will benefit. Strong winds know grass, friends know adversity, and people need friends' help most in trouble. We should lend a helping hand in time. When a person encounters a problem, "good advice from a friend is the best medicine" (Bacon). If you are a true friend, you should prescribe the right medicine in time and accurately. When helping a friend, we should also remember Aristotle's words: "Give to others without asking for anything in return, and give to others without saying goodbye. This seems to be for the good of friends, not for other reasons."
Friendship is a beautiful emotion of human beings. May everyone cherish pure friendship.
Friendship view