There is a saying in Xunzi's "Encourage Learning":

"In bitter fleabane bitter fleabane, don't help yourself straight; White sand is in nirvana and black with it. "

People who are close in personality and learn well will make themselves better; On the other hand, it is possible to go astray and indulge themselves.

What kind of people you choose to be friends directly affects a person's life direction.

Pay attention to making friends and stay away from these three kinds of friends.

In our life, we are full of all kinds of complaints:

Complain that children are not sensible, that their lovers are not considerate, that they pay more and pay less, and that they are unfair and unhappy. ...

Some complaints are told by us, while others tell us.

Everyone complains, and it's okay to vent occasionally.

Complaining too much will unconsciously kill your will and affect the mood of people around you.

I once had a colleague who was a typical complainer, as if everyone around me owed her:

Parents who seriously prefer sons to daughters always cling to their younger brother who is two years younger than her.

Husband, always said that the class is busy regardless of home, even at home, he rarely talks to him;

The leader always seems to bully her, asking her to do more and give less. ...

After complaining about your own affairs, you start complaining about others. So-and-so suffered unfair treatment in the unit, whose husband cheated, whose mother-in-law was angry with her again ... As she talked, tears kept flowing.

At the beginning, I also advised her, enlightened her and told her not to take some things to heart, and to look at the strengths of others when things happened.

But every time she vented her anger and negative energy, she didn't consider my feelings at all.

After several times, I felt exhausted and depressed, and I felt like running away. After all, no one has so much positive energy for her to squander.

Nietzsche once said:

"When you stare at the abyss from a distance, the abyss is also staring at you."

I have been in contact with such friends for a long time, and all I see is the dark side of life. When you encounter problems, you will become negative, depressed and pessimistic, and lose the strength and courage to overcome difficulties.

There is no need to be strong because the three views are different.

The communication between friends is nothing more than the word "comfortable". Since I don't feel well, I might as well leave early.

There is a saying in Window of Xiao Xuan:

"Life is nothing more than leisure, too leisure and karma."

To put it bluntly, there is nothing better than leisure in life, but too leisure will do bad things.

The author lazy foam once shared her experience:

Because of the birth of her daughter, she left her job without pay for half a year.

In the past six months, in addition to taking care of the baby's business, she spent almost all her time visiting Taobao, reading novels, chasing TV dramas and brushing friends.

She registered in the mother community for more than three months and posted 55 posts, almost all about how her husband ignored her and how her in-laws treated her badly.

Because of her anger and conflict with her family, she completely subverted her image as a good wife and mother, and also made the relationship between husband and wife and mother-in-law extremely tense.

Later, in a quarrel, the husband forcibly unloaded the mother community and said angrily:

"A bunch of women, doing nothing every day, black and white upside down, much ado about nothing, piles of negative energy, can ruin people!"

Her husband's words woke her up at once.

A person who has nothing to do all day will focus on the people and things around him, care more about others' eyes, care more about life, and be more critical of what others say.

As a result, their own quality is getting lower and lower, their horizons are getting narrower and narrower, and their pattern is getting smaller and smaller.

Too much leisure will really ruin a person!

Realizing these problems, she signed up for a writing class, took part in a family education course, and studied the electric car that had troubled her for five years.

In this way, the relationship between husband and wife has become closer and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been eased.

"Into Lan Zhi's room, I haven't heard its fragrance for a long time; Once I entered the abalone, I didn't smell it for a long time. "

Being with someone is really important.

Stay away from those idle people so as not to fall into the abyss of depravity; Being busy is really a good medicine for all diseases.

As the saying goes: a fence has three piles, and a hero has three gangs.

A person's success often needs the help of external forces.

But the problem is that some people just want you to stand up and fencing for them, but they never understand your feelings.

When I went to dinner last night, my colleague Amin told me about falling out with my former boss:

Amin studied civil engineering. Some time ago, she worked in a small company. Later, in order to earn more money, she quit her old job and came to her present company.

What Amin didn't expect was that after leaving for two months, the boss of the former company repeatedly asked him for help in budgeting on the grounds that the new employee was unfamiliar with the business, and it was only a few nights at a time.

At that time, the boss promised to pay him the project payment as soon as possible, and his words were sincere, which made Amin embarrassed to refuse.

But then Amin heard from his former colleagues that the project payment had arrived, but Amin didn't get any money.

Later, the boss friend asked him for something again, and Amin refused directly.

Around us, there are always some people who are constantly consuming you under the guise of acquaintances or friends:

If you can write, he will ask you to help with the whole material; If you know how to decorate, you will become his free consultant; If you are proficient in computer, you should be ready to deal with all kinds of problems on his office equipment at any time. ...

The most important thing is that these are free. Just once or twice, too much will be boring.

No one's skills are blown by the wind.

In order to learn the skills of eating, only you know how much you have suffered, how much you have suffered, and how much you have been tempered.

Why did you say "do me a favor" and I will wait on you behind the saddle? Even after I finished with you, I didn't even say "thank you". Just because we're friends?

There is a word in economics called "stop loss in time". For those who constantly consume you, you must be vigilant, stay away early, resolutely say "no" and never let "embarrassment" ruin you.

Read this passage:

If you want to fly in the sky like an eagle, you should fly with the eagle, not with the geese;

If you want to gallop the earth like a wild wolf, you must run with the wolf, not with the deer and sheep.

Close to those diligent, positive and optimistic people, our life will be full of sunshine and hope;

If you let those who complain all day and do nothing but spend money occupy your circle of friends, it is very likely that our life will be bleak, our future will be bleak, and even we will fall into an endless abyss.

Get close to the person you want to be; If you don't want to be someone, you must try to stay away from them.

Don't let unworthy people and things occupy your time and energy. It's really good to have a smaller and cleaner circle.

The rest of my life is not long. I hope everyone can take it calmly, keep their hearts to the sun and keep their initial heart.

Author: Shu Yun, a multi-platform creator, likes to fly in words and build dreams in books. Practice hard, just to meet a better self.