Symptoms and manifestations:
Puppy love refers to the love phenomenon between teenagers who are not fully mature physically or psychologically. After entering adolescence, teenagers who have a tendency to love the opposite sex will take the initiative to approach the opposite sex they like. The two sides have frequent contacts and love each other, which leads to love.
The characteristics of puppy love are:
(l) It is caused by sexual impulse and external attraction, and it lacks ideological and emotional considerations;
(2) Mutual admiration is often caused by the advantages of both sides, and there is a lack of comprehensive evaluation of each other;
(3) Lack of sense of responsibility and ethical constraints make it easy to have sex.
Information point:
(1) Understand the reasons for puppy love. With the improvement of living standards, adolescent boys and girls are generally in good nutritional status, their physical development is accelerated, their sexual maturity is advanced, and their sexual consciousness is budding and restless, which makes them have a strong demand for sexual experience prematurely. Due to the advent of adolescence, they are psychologically eager for independence. Once they get rid of the shackles of family, they will long for love. The colorful extracurricular cultural life increases the chances of contact between boys and girls, but in the process of communication, they inevitably love each other, resulting in puppy love; Due to the openness, richness and increasing information of social life, students can get information describing love from various channels, which is extremely attractive and infectious, causing their desire for association and imitation; The lack of ideal moral education, especially love education, leads to many students' lack of progress, weak moral concepts and ignorance on love issues. Many students regard goodwill and friendship between the opposite sex as love, but due to the influence of feudal traditional concepts, friendship between the opposite sex has no place. If there is more contact between students of the opposite sex, they will be coaxed into "love", and the parties will sometimes be forced to go to Liangshan. School leaders and teachers set various restrictions on the communication between boys and girls, and blamed the students who broke through the restrictions. As a result, "forbidden fruit is especially sweet", but the restriction aroused some students' curiosity and found the opportunity to try the taste of love; Students admitted to technical secondary schools think that it is difficult to find a suitable object when they are assigned to the countryside after graduation, and now they should seize the right one; Some students are beautiful in appearance and romantic in nature. They believe that the happiness of youth lies in the whispering of flowers and moons. In order to pursue this kind of happiness, they will easily fall in love with others, but some students just talk about love for fun and curiosity, and then make it come true.
(2) sever the relationship. Just as establishing love requires mutual consent, ending puppy love also requires mutual consent, so as to leave no future trouble. The party who offers to end puppy love should break off the relationship with firm will and decisive and appropriate methods. You can have an in-depth dialogue with each other in a proper place and in a rational situation. In conversation, you should first affirm the love, help and care of the other person in the process of love, then tell the other person the harm of puppy love and the importance of learning, and persuade them to put out the fire of love, cherish the seeds of love in their hearts and spend their energy on their studies and personality improvement. You can also use letters. Because letters have more buffer space than interviews, the wording can be more calm and decent, but no matter what method is used, it is necessary to prevent the misunderstanding of the other party and convince the other party as soon as possible.
(3) Interrupt contact. From the boundary of ending puppy love, the friendship and affection between male and female students are normal feelings. As long as love returns to goodwill or friendship, puppy love is over. However, because the emotion aroused by love is strong, and the reason and inhibition of middle school students are quite limited, so to end puppy love, we should try to avoid being alone and temporarily suspend all channels of emotional communication. After a period of emotional freezing, rational control of feelings becomes a habit, and then normal communication is restored, so the tree of feelings will not recur.
(4) transfer emotions. Transfer time and energy to intense study and healthy after-school hobbies. Pay more attention to state affairs, participate in collective activities, speak more famous books and philosophical articles, think more about your own progress, think more about your future career, and think more about how to explore and forge ahead in a complex society in the future. In this way, our minds and horizons will be broadened, our ambitions will be lofty, and we will be full of vitality and move forward forever.
It refers to the premature love of girls who have not reached the age of love before puberty. Puppy love is a worldwide social phenomenon. Puppy love is caused by environmental factors and is related to sexual excitement and germination caused by precocious puberty; It is also related to the loneliness, emptiness and psychological lack of support of girls. Boys and girls who fall in puppy love are attracted, admired and supported by each other because of their love, and their feelings are joyful and pure. Because of the dominant emotion in puppy love, it is usually irrational. Most people have the intention of physical and sexual contact, but they don't always put it into practice. A considerable number of puppy love girls are satisfied with warm emotional atmosphere and intimate language communication. Of course, some people's sexual behavior is based on sexual impulses.
Young girls' puppy love can generally be divided into three types: imitation puppy love-this refers to the type of puppy love in which the development of sexual consciousness is still in the early stage close to the opposite sex, imitating adult love out of curiosity, regardless of the consequences, with obvious playfulness characteristics; Naive puppy love-falling in love is out of the desire for the opposite sex, as long as you like some characteristics of a certain opposite sex. Thinking that the other person has a good voice and plays the ball well, he will flirt secretly or simply write a letter to date, which is obviously blind. This is puppy love, first love, falling in love out of admiration for the appearance, ability, demeanor and personality of the opposite sex, and starting to consciously pursue love. However, we can't fully and deeply understand all the connotations of love, which is the type of puppy love in the later stage of sexual consciousness development.
For adolescent girls' puppy love, as teachers and parents, first, we should strengthen education and make them realize that she is not stereotyped in thought, immature in psychology, independent in economy, not oriented in career and still in the development stage in all aspects. Puppy love is extremely harmful to her physical and mental development and ideal future; Second, we should guard against procrastination, always grasp the mentality of young girls in communication with the opposite sex, and once signs of puppy love are found, we should promptly and tactfully eliminate puppy love in the bud by means of hints, instructions and confidences. Third, to give them positive guidance is to be rational, emotional and persuasive, to guide them to treat the opposite sex correctly, and to control their feelings with moral strength and self-control ability. Don't criticize easily, even reprimand, criticize, beat and scold and humiliate in front of her peers. This is very easy to produce the "Romeo and Juliet" effect, which makes her more closely linked with the feelings of the opposite sex because of resistance, and turns puppy love into true love. Therefore, girls have suffered great mental pain, and their feelings with their parents have also been hurt. Individual puppy love girls leave or commit suicide because of humiliation and anger. These lessons are worth learning.
Middle school students' puppy love should be prevented and guided
The phenomenon of puppy love among students in a middle school in Qitai County should be highly valued. To solve this problem, we must first understand the reasons and characteristics of puppy love. Teenagers' puppy love behavior has the following characteristics: first, their will is vague: they are not clear about the development outcome of puppy love relationship, and only desire to contact the opposite sex alone. Second, inner contradiction: I want to contact but I am afraid of being discovered. Pleasure and fear coexist in the process of puppy love. Third, impermanence: one-on-one puppy love relationship lacks persistence and generally does not last long. Fourth, the difference in choice: in behavior, some teenagers' puppy love behavior is very hidden, and they convey their feelings through letters and telephone calls. But some teenagers are very open, and many occasions are like lovers. In the aspect of relationship, the main activity of most teenagers in puppy love relationship is to chat together and exchange unrequited love. Other people talk about feelings and even have sex. In terms of age preference, girls like more mature men. Boys like girls younger than themselves and show their masculinity in communication. The types of puppy love can be summarized into eight types: adoration, curiosity, imitation, conformity, pleasure, compensation, anti-transformation and morbid.
Physically, the primitive reproductive instinct of human beings is hidden behind the puppy love of teenagers. At present, there is an obvious time gap between human sexual maturity and the actual possibility of giving birth to offspring. It is characterized by early sexual maturity and late reproductive activities. We must face up to the influence of sexual maturity and sexual instinct impulse on teenagers' psychology and behavior and clearly understand the essence of puppy love.
From the psychological point of view, after teenagers enter adolescence, with the changes of sexual physiology, complex changes will inevitably occur in sexual psychology. In middle school, from 13 and 14 to 17 and 18, they experienced the "second birth" in life and psychologically accepted the second "weaning". The germination and gradual maturity of middle school students' sexual physiology have caused changes in their sexual psychology. I feel mysterious, sensitive and wonderful about the relationship between men and women. Emotion has become warm and fragile, coupled with the lack of analysis, judgment and self-discipline, so some young students are easily tempted by some bad influences and bad consciousness in society. Some students read books and periodicals about the physiology of the opposite sex, from which you can imagine; Some boys are keen to play the role of "protector" and show their "heroism" in order to win the favor of girls; Some girls have an embarrassing initial impulse, and after a psychological process of surprise, shyness and hesitation, they have a vague desire to make friends From these phenomena, we can see that students are not only fresh in adolescence, but also begin to pay attention to the opposite sex and get close to the opposite sex, which is easy to generate goodwill and pursuit, thus producing a series of ideological problems. If there is no guidance from parents and teachers during this period, it is not surprising that puppy love occurs.
The author believes that puppy love will do some harm to the healthy growth of students if it cannot be guided correctly. The main manifestations are: 1, distracting energy and affecting learning; 2, emotional impulse, planting bitter fruit; 3. Dissipate the will and influence the atmosphere. Someone has done a follow-up survey and found that the success rate of puppy love marriage is extremely low. In middle school, few people who love each other can finally form a family. It's a pity to spend the best time in life on this kind of love with more bitter fruit than sweet fruit.
The phenomenon of puppy love is inseparable from social and family factors, as well as psychological and ideological factors. Therefore, to solve the problem of students' puppy love, we should start with psychology and thought, and do a good job of prevention and guidance first. Prevention should start from the following aspects: do a good job in adolescent education for middle school students.
Strengthen youth, ideals, future education and legal education. Guide students to cultivate healthy and noble sentiments. Cultivate and establish a serious, lively and positive school spirit and class collective. Establish a good relationship between teachers and students. Make proper use of the opposite sex effect. Guidance is to guide and adjust students' thoughts and emotions. In the guidance, we should grasp the following three principles: 1, and we should find out the details and know fairly well. 2 we should distinguish between situations and treat them differently. Pay attention to methods, guide them correctly, and avoid rough suppression to force them to submit. In the specific operation process, the following methods can be adopted: 1 "jump out" to guide students to overcome their emotions with reason. 2 "Freezing" allows students to freeze their emotions and bury them, so that they can "hibernate" and concentrate on their studies. 3 "separation", create a good environment for them and try to avoid being alone together. As long as we treat students sincerely, put ourselves in their shoes, influence them with love and give full play to the strength of the group, the problem of puppy love among middle school students can be properly handled.