In this life, besides family and lover, the most important thing is friends.
Colleagues in the workplace are often just colleagues, and there may be no intersection except for the handover at work.
Only those who really hit it off can become friends, and only those who have the same three views can become friends, so that they can be relaxed and not tired.
But many people can't tell what is "making friends" and what is "ineffective social interaction".
On some occasions, it seems like pushing a cup for a change and laughing, but in fact it is useless to socialize, except wasting time with people you don't know.
You may be confused when you are young. Everyone wants to be friends, but with the growth of age, it is unwise to live in middle age if you still waste time on ineffective social activities.
-02-
Chen Song was very sociable when he was young. People around him say that he has a high emotional intelligence, and he is very proud of it. He thinks that by taking the pulse of these people, he can get a good future.
Chen Song's job is sales. He is dealing with all kinds of people every day, saying sincere compliments.
In fact, he is really suitable for sales. Basically, every client he comes into contact with can chat well with him and finally get along as friends.
Chen Song is also very happy, and feels that these contacts are his treasures, which can make him feel better. One day in the future, he will be able to make a fortune with these connections.
But in fact, every time his clients ask him for help, they can ask him for all kinds of trivial things, which is also a coolie.
Every time Chen Song is very positive, he only gets a sentence "What a good brother" and some unrealistic promises, but he is happy about it.
When people reach middle age, Chen Song is still doing sales, and nothing has changed much. Two days ago, he wanted to go it alone and start his own business.
At this time, he thought of his former brothers and friends, hoping that they could provide him with some opportunities. As a result, every time the words come out, the other party changes the subject. After Chen Song called again, no one answered the guest's phone.
Until this time, Chen Songcai realized that the friends he had felt for so many years were so empty and the social interaction over the years was so useless.
Standing on his dignity and self-esteem, and gaining contacts by flattery and flattery will not help him. In the eyes of those brothers, he has been as sad as a buffoon.
-03-
Chen Song is not smart enough to spend a lot of time on ineffective social activities.
In fact, people's life time and energy are limited. If they spend too much time on ineffective social activities, they will have no time and energy to accompany those who are really worthy of company.
I hope you know that smart middle-aged men give up "ineffective social interaction" for three reasons:
Ineffective socialization will not be of substantial help to your life.
The purpose of many people socializing is to broaden their contacts and let them know more friends in other fields, thinking that these people can help themselves in life and work.
In the eyes of these people, if they become friends, they will be more accommodating when they need each other's help, and since they are friends, each other will definitely help themselves unconditionally.
However, in fact, the most fundamental relationship between people is the exchange of interests. For those so-called friends, you are worthless and useless to them, so even if you lift a finger, no one will help you sincerely.
So those friends, seemingly friends, are actually just people who want to get benefits from you.
This kind of person can't be a real friend, and you can't benefit from him. This kind of socialization is really meaningless.
Ineffective socialization is a waste of time and energy.
Doing anything takes a lot of energy, and so does socializing.
Middle-aged men have enough things on their own, and they have to spend time and energy to maintain those useless social relationships. Aren't you tired?
Some people think that you and he are friends, and we will be brothers who help each other, make progress and play together at ordinary times. However, many times, the other person is just using you.
This is useless socializing, wasting time and energy. You treat others sincerely, but others treat you as a fool. It's best not to have such friends.
After all, it is impossible to be friends with everyone. Many people have their own purposes. As a simple social interaction, it is worthless. As friends, wasting your energy, this kind of socialization is meaningless to continue.
If you are good enough, someone will naturally associate with you sincerely.
Middle-aged men have a heavy burden at home, raising children and supporting the elderly.
No one in this society is relaxed. Everyone has his own distress and purpose. Most people build relationships because of interest. It is impossible to get help from others without paying any price.
Therefore, instead of wasting time on ineffective social interaction, it is better to spend some time to improve your ability.
When you get better and more valuable, those relationships will naturally come.
When people reach middle age, time becomes more and more precious, and it is a waste to delay useless social interaction.
Smart people never waste time flattering and boasting about unworthy people.
-04-
Some people are always keen on socializing and find it interesting to make friends with all kinds of people.
However, many times, people are not real friends, just casual acquaintances. Without getting to know each other well, they began to call each other brothers.
Of course, it will be good to play together, but once something happens, once the interests are involved, you will feel the real human feelings.
In fact, this kind of socialization is not to meet new friends, but to waste time and energy. It will not have any positive help to life, but will make bad friends and have an unimaginable blow to life.
You know, ineffective social interaction is sometimes like an unfathomable whirlpool. Pushing a cup on the wine table for a sense of accomplishment will drag a person into a quagmire and never struggle again.
When people reach middle age, there are many things you should care about and can care about, and there are many things you need to do quickly. Don't waste your life on useless socializing.
Learning a new thing, traveling with family, or even reading a book are much more meaningful than participating in ineffective social activities.