Family, first of all, is cultivation.
"Everything is done wrong" records the story of "finish killing". Ceng Zi's wife went to the market, and her children followed her crying. His mother said, "Go back first, and I'll kill the pig for you when I come back." When his wife came back from the market, Ceng Zi wanted to catch a pig and was going to kill it. His wife stopped him and said, "I just played a joke on my son." Ceng Zi said, "You can't joke with your son. My son knows nothing. He only learns from his parents and listens to their teachings. If you cheat him now, you are educating him to cheat others. The mother cheated her son, and the son didn't trust her. This is not the right way to educate children. " So Ceng Zi cooked pigs for the children.
The story of Ceng Zi's murder tells us that parents must pay attention to their words and deeds, because it is really related to the growth and education of their children.
"Four Books and Universities" once said: "The ancient desire is obviously superior to the world, and we must first govern the country; If you want to govern your country, you should first get your family together; If you want to reunite with your family, repair yourself first. " The key to managing the family and educating the children is self-cultivation. This shows how much influence parents' words and deeds have on their children.
Example, the so-called example, is a way of education that directly or indirectly affects children with their own practical actions. Example is one of the most important and common forms of family education. Whether parents consciously or unconsciously, their actions are playing a certain educational role.
Children have little social experience and narrow social contact. Parents will naturally become their role models, and parents will become their earliest and longest-serving teachers. Suhomlinski, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, once said: "The all-round development of human beings depends on what kind of people mothers and fathers are in front of their children, and on how children understand interpersonal relationships and social environment from their parents' role models. "It can be seen that the practical actions of parents play an important role.
First of all, parents are required to pay strict attention to their own self-cultivation when adopting this educational method of setting an example. Our country has attached great importance to self-cultivation since ancient times.
The influence of parents' words and deeds on their children.
Overdressing will mislead children to catch up with fashion. Parents' over-dressing can easily bring children a bad demonstration of fashionable appearance, which will make children mistakenly think that fashionable dressing is very important, encourage children to follow suit and wear famous brands, and distract their attention from learning. Parents should tell their children to dress generously and neatly, which is more respected than fashionable clothes and brand-name clothes, so that children can develop frugal and clean wearing habits. We should pay attention to cultivating children's healthy habits and encourage them to take part in physical exercise, such as walking and ball games.
Arguing and fighting can easily mislead children into being violent. If parents often quarrel in daily life to resolve different opinions, or even punch and kick each other, it is easy to mislead children to have the wrong cognition that "quarreling and fighting can also solve problems", so that children can imitate their parents to solve disputes with their fists when playing with their children, which encourages their violent tendencies. Therefore, when husband and wife have differences due to family chores, they should communicate and negotiate calmly, and never quarrel loudly or touch their hands in front of their children.
Indulging in the network is easy to mislead children's internet addiction. When some parents are free, they either use their mobile phones to play WeChat, play games or chat online, which will attract children's interest in mobile phones and the online world. However, due to the radiation of mobile phones and computer screens, long-term screen exposure will affect children's sleep, leading to a decline in children's interest in learning and academic performance. Playing mobile phones while eating will also distract children's appetite and affect their weight gain, but some parents also tell their children not to play mobile phones while eating, while using smart phones to send WeChat. As the saying goes, example is better than words. Families with children should formulate rules for the use of mobile phones and computers at home and require all family members to abide by them in order to better prevent children from developing Internet addiction.
Gossip is easy to mislead children and despise moral education. Many parents, especially women, always make irresponsible remarks about other people's looks or behaviors. Some parents don't pay attention to it, and they avoid their children by gossiping, making them feel that it is ok to speak ill of others behind their backs. Slowly, children also learned this behavior. Children with this kind of bad behavior will talk about others from behind, develop into making up children's "stories", provoke the relationship between children, and then lie to deceive parents or teachers, which will seriously endanger children's moral education and is not conducive to the cultivation of children's ideological and moral quality. Therefore, as parents, we should set a good example for our children. Even if there are people or things that need to be discussed, avoid them so as not to be adversely affected, and pay more attention to educating them to learn to respect others.
Criticism and complaints can easily mislead children into lacking self-esteem. Some parents often criticize and complain that unsatisfactory work, unsatisfactory health, unhappy life and lack of money will affect their children's self-confidence and cause self-esteem problems. If my father often complains that his work is not ideal, he feels inferior. This will give children, especially boys, the wrong message that "Dad can't do it, I'm stupid", weaken the self-esteem of those children who study hard and have poor academic performance, and lead to no progress. Therefore, the unhappiness in work and life should be on the pillow, get comfort from your lover, and don't criticize and complain with your children.
It is easy to mislead children into rebellion by preaching. Some parents always like to compare with others in everything, their work is not as ideal as their friends, their income is not as high as their neighbors, their children are not as good as their classmates and so on. They always teach their children to say, "What do you think of the children in the neighborhood?" "What do you think of your classmates?" "How can you not make progress as a child in another family?" and so on. Adults and children have self-esteem, or how to say "good children are boastful"? For children, this kind of comparison preaching will not only arouse their enthusiasm, but will easily make them rebellious.
Smoking and drinking can easily mislead children's bad habits. Some parents often drown their sorrows by drinking because of social interaction and work pressure, which will send a wrong message to their children, that is, smoking can make friends and drinking can relieve stress. Over time, children will find smoking attractive to men, imitate adults to steal cigarettes, try to drink alcohol to relieve the pressure of study, and gradually become fond of alcohol and tobacco and even addicted. Parents should also look for more active ways to relieve stress, such as exercise, outdoor travel, meditation, chatting with friends and staying away from alcohol and tobacco.