People’s lives are greatly influenced by their friends. Many people become successful because of their friends. Because without friends, there is almost no way out. You will be lonely all your life. Even if you close your heart, someone will still come and knock hard. When someone knocks on your heart, should you respond or not? If you do, you may be a bad friend; if you don't, you may lose a good friend.

Therefore, you always have to face the problem of "making friends". If you make good friends, you may benefit from them throughout your life and have unlimited fun, at least you won't get hurt. And if you make bad friends, it will be difficult to avoid going astray and being unlucky.

Thousands of people have different temperaments, and all people have different appearances. There are many types of people, and there are many types of attitudes towards friends. Some say good things to you every day, some criticize and accuse you when they see something wrong with you, some are passionate and like giving, and some are as cold as ice. Those who only consider personal interests; some are honest, and some are cunning and evil...

With so many types of friends, it is difficult to distinguish between good and bad, and when you find out that he is bad, it is often too late, so usually Communication experience is extremely important.

However, there is one type of friend that is definitely worth keeping company with, and that is the friend who will criticize and accuse you.

Compared with friends who only say nice things, those friends who only know how to criticize and accuse you are annoying, because they say things you don’t like to hear and things you think you are proud of. If you tell him, he will pour cold water on you. If you tell him full of ideals and plans, he will point out the problems without mercy, and sometimes even point out the shortcomings of your life and work indiscriminately... Anyway, I can't hear a single good word from him. It's really hard not to be annoying for this kind of person.

But it would be a pity if you give up this kind of friend.

Basically, people who work in society will try not to offend others, so they would rather say nice things to make people happy than say unpleasant things to make people hate them. People who say nice things are not necessarily "bad people", but if you stand as a friend and only say nice things, you have lost your obligation to be a friend; if you know you have shortcomings and don't talk about them, what kind of friend are you? ? If you further "praise" your shortcomings, you have ulterior motives. Even if this kind of friend does not harm you, it will not do you any good. There is no need to waste your time interacting with such people.

But what is the actual situation? Many people feel happy when they meet friends who only say nice things and don't know right from wrong; in fact, they follow your wishes and make you happy for the sake of your resources - your usable value. Many people are dragged down by their friends. That's why.

In comparison, those friends who are annoying to you, like a crow, and only say unpleasant things are much more real. This kind of person has absolutely nothing to ask for from you (not being scolded by you or losing you as a friend is very good). His starting point is for your own good. This kind of friend is your true friend.

Only those who often criticize and accuse you are your mentors in life.

The saying that multiple friends lead to multiple paths is popular everywhere. You need to make friends from all walks of life, but you have to choose carefully.

In this complicated world, there are all kinds of people, and choosing friends is not an easy task. The old saying, "Ten thousand taels of gold is easy to come by, but a close friend is hard to find." This is how people in the old society expressed how difficult it was to make friends. But doesn’t that mean we have to make fewer friends? Or when you emphasize caution in making friends, do you think that this one is unreliable and that one cannot be trusted? Of course not. Since people are social beings and are in various social relationships, it is inevitable to make friends. Not only must they have friends in life and death, and friends who will never waver in thick and thin, but they must also be good at dealing with shortcomings, mistakes, and even those who are against themselves. people make friends.

Stones from other mountains can attack jade. Making friends widely with different professions, hobbies and identities can sometimes complement each other.

"Listen to both and you will be enlightened; if you listen to one and you will be dark." Making friends of all kinds is beneficial to learning from each other's strengths, broadening your horizons, and activating your thinking. Comrade Mao Zedong's experience is very thought-provoking. He has a broad mind and is good at making friends of all kinds. When he was a teenager, he issued a "Recruitment Notice for Friends Born on the 28th of the Year", organized the Xinmin Society with Cai Hesen, Chen Tanqiu and others, and made a large number of aspiring friends. After joining the revolution, he was surrounded by a group of close comrades-in-arms such as Zhu De and Zhou Enlai.

At the same time, Comrade Mao Zedong also had many civilian friends. Friends from the democratic parties, such as Li Shuyi, Zhou Shizhao, Liu Yazi, etc., all had a deep friendship with him. Through these friends, we have a broad understanding of the situation of parties at all levels of society, and have made great contributions to formulating the party's principles and policies and developing the united front.

It is necessary to make friends widely and choose carefully. How to do this? As Mr. Lu Xun once said: "I still have many old friends who have been with each other for decades. The key point is to ignore the small details and choose the bigger ones." Eyes on. When looking at people, look at the big picture first, not focusing on the other person's shortcomings and mistakes, but looking at people from a developing and changing perspective. If you don't ignore the small and choose the big, you won't be able to be kind to others, you won't be able to evaluate a person comprehensively and objectively, you may be blinded by a leaf, you may not know the mountain, you may push your friends away, and you may not get true friendship.

An old saying goes: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, but the friendship between villains is as sweet as sweet wine." We may still use this as the basis for making friends today.

Persistence in interpersonal investment will surely pay off. Investing in interpersonal relationships is the most cost-effective investment. Choose to save first and withdraw later. Persistence will surely pay off later.

Many people have one or several bank books. If you save 500 yuan a month, at the end of the year, you will find that not only does the passbook become 6,000 yuan, but there is also interest. If the money is raised, there are many uses.

The same goes for relationships.

So how to "accumulate" interpersonal relationships?

The positive approach is:

1. Don’t forget to benefit others. Others will be flattered by big benefits, think you have ulterior motives, and adopt a defensive attitude. Therefore, it is better to start with small benefits, but give them naturally and sincerely. This is the use of petty gain in human nature, which is quite effective.

2． Never forget to care for others. There is no standard for "care". Substantial care and spiritual care are both acceptable. This kind of care is particularly powerful when the other person is unhappy or encounters difficulties in life.

The negative approach is:

1. Don't offend others. Offending people is very harmful to interpersonal relationships. If you can't take the initiative to build relationships, at least you shouldn't offend people easily.

2． Don't care about being taken advantage of. Being taken advantage of seems like a loss, but it is actually an investment, because the other party will feel that they are owed something, and they will be rewarded when the time is right. Of course, you can't bear a huge loss, but if you know you can't get justice, it's better to admit it. In addition, some people take advantage and behave well without any sense of debt. You don't have to expect anything from such people, but it is better to let them take advantage than to offend them.

There are many ways to build interpersonal relationships, but as long as you understand the principle that "building interpersonal relationships is the same as depositing money in the bank", no matter how clumsy the method is, there will always be results.