After adolescents enter puberty, as their physiology changes and matures, they will naturally develop a liking for and admiration for the opposite sex, and desire to be close to them. In school, it is inevitable for students of the opposite sex to interact with each other, but the boundaries between friendship and love are so blurred, how to distinguish them? Students are confused by this, and the debate about "puppy love" between teachers and students never ends. So just how serious are the problems students face? As a teacher, how should we treat it objectively and guide it correctly? Before writing this article, I mainly relied on the psychology I had learned and the methods I had accumulated in my daily life to deal with the problem of relationships between boys and girls, but I always felt that I was not confident enough. I read some books about this during my summer vacation and felt that I gained a lot. The following is my experience.

What is puppy love?

When we bid farewell to childhood and enter adolescence, with the physical changes and maturity, there will also be corresponding psychological and emotional changes. Most people will have The following experiences: short-term alienation from the opposite sex; natural attraction to the opposite sex, desire to be close to the opposite sex, beginning of love; varying degrees of opposite sex admiration. These are natural and normal for a growing teenager. The favor and admiration of boys and girls is a beautiful and innocent feeling that needs special cherishment and love. At the same time, interactions with the opposite sex are also a necessary part of personal growth. Both men and women have their own gender advantages. Normal interactions with each other can not only learn from each other's strengths and weaknesses, constantly improve themselves, but also learn the norms of getting along correctly with the opposite sex, which will help them adapt to society and society in the future. Adapting to others is of great significance. However, the boundaries between friendship and puppy love are so blurred. How can a teacher distinguish between the two? How to teach students to accurately grasp the scale of the two in interactions? Students enjoy innocent friendship, but their self-control ability is not strong enough. The development of feelings sometimes exceeds personal expectations, and they may fall into the abyss of emotions unconsciously; and if parents and teachers blindly take strict preventive measures, , probably killing some innocent emotions. Because of this, the so-called "puppy love" phenomenon has always been the focus of conflicts between students, parents and teachers. There are different opinions on what puppy love is. Puppy love, as the name suggests, occurs premature love behavior. But why is it early? The last day of high school is early, so is the first day of college still early? The term "puppy love" is a concept unique to China. It is a localized concept. Its meaning is: the love affair between male and female middle school students who are not independent financially and in life and who are still some time away from marriage. Almost all students believe that the relationship between boys and girls is very pure. Most of them are pure friendships, not puppy love at all. They are just more curious about the opposite sex or more comfortable with each other. Some are "best friends" and not girlfriends. , just looking for someone to talk to. They think that parents and teachers are too overreactive and always suspect students of puppy love. However, student love still exists objectively. And it's quite harmful.

2. How to deal with puppy love

With the development of society, on the one hand, we seem to be more and more accepting of this concept. We believe that getting close to male and female classmates is not love, but love. They just have the need to make friends, they have a good impression of each other, and they are relatively easy to talk to or are very compatible with each other. I think that today’s children are all only children and have no brothers or sisters. Sometimes they need to interact with others, but they just spend more time together, and there is no other meaning. However, on the other hand, I seem to be more and more suspicious, and I am very careful to guard against this kind of thing. We believe that we shoulder the responsibility and are afraid that something might go wrong, so we can’t explain it too clearly. If we don’t explain it, it won’t work. However, the educational methods are very poor. They all come from the same principles and go away from them. At the same time, we cannot take very effective measures. Generally speaking, The solution is to warn students not to go too far.

Students generally believe that there is a generation gap between parents, teachers and them. Parents cannot understand themselves, cannot see problems from their perspective, do not understand or trust them, and parents are often too defensive and defensive. If there are too many, it will be a nuisance for men and women to interact with each other. They are afraid that if they say something, their parents will worry, object or scold them.

For example, every teacher is likely to encounter the problem of parents accusing students of their students' phone calls. That is, when a student of the opposite sex calls home, most parents will be more "nervous", especially when a certain student of the opposite sex calls slightly more frequently. When this happens, parents often react and take certain measures, such as hanging up the phone without asking, telling their children to talk less, and coming in to take a look after ten minutes or listening secretly on the extension. Some even cross-examined the other party, and even went to school to find the other party or tell the teacher. The reason why students do not talk to their teachers when encountering such problems is not only because they think there is a generation gap, but there are also other reasons, such as being afraid of the teacher's reasoning, or not trusting the teacher, thinking that the school teachers and parents are all connected to the Internet, and there is some trouble. Parents will know. Students believe that teachers and parents' handling methods are not appropriate enough. Teachers usually adopt a blocking and negative attitude. When they suspect that two male and female students are in love, they will talk to them one by one. After the conversation, they will tell the parents, and the parents will talk to the students when they go back. In fact, doing so will only be counterproductive. When a teacher sees a boy and girl often together, he thinks they are talking about friends. Then the school and the family try their best to oppose and exert pressure. The "networking" stifled by teachers and parents makes the students disgusted and even have a rebellious mentality. Rebellion is very common among teenagers. As a result, the originally innocent feelings began to deteriorate under the disguised "promotion" of parents and teachers. On the contrary, the two became closer together, as was the case with many classmates. Therefore, adopting a "high-pressure" policy generally does not work. However, ignoring the phenomenon of puppy love among students has caused the spread of puppy love on campus, which is also undesirable. It is normal for middle school students to have a favorable impression of the opposite sex, but how long will their favorable impression last? I once talked with students, and some said: "If teachers and parents ignore us, we will only have a relationship for one or two weeks! As time goes by, we will not feel that way. We should be more open to the relationship between boys and girls. With a tolerant attitude, it will be more natural among children and nothing will happen. If we can respect the students' opinions, they will slowly adjust themselves, because students are also constantly growing. We should let the emotions in students' hearts ripple. It comes naturally and subsides naturally, but if they are not allowed to interact, they will become more rebellious. However, this method may not be effective for students with poor self-consciousness, self-emptiness, and some family problems. Puppy love is likely to not only It will affect their learning and may cause serious psychological problems and consequences. Therefore, teachers should adopt different methods of handling the problem based on the different psychological qualities of the students, rather than simply dealing with this problem in one way. It is said that when you find that your child has a crush on a classmate, you should not act like an enemy and put psychological pressure on your child. It is best to communicate like a friend. In fact, treating puppy love is like treating a flood. The key is to prepare for the flood before it floods. When it comes, it comes down to the question of whether to "block" or "disturb". On the one hand, the pressure on students who fall in love early is really huge, and the mental development of young students is not yet mature and sound. If they are considered adults. Putting unbearable pressure on their young shoulders is likely to cause trouble. Students long to be respected and understood. As a teacher, you must trust students, learn to look at problems from the students' perspective, and try to respect and understand them. . Students hope to have an open-minded teacher who understands them and is willing to communicate openly with them. Parents should also trust their children, communicate with them proactively, and learn to understand them instead of blindly blocking and scolding teenagers. Children have a strong sense of independence. Parents must learn to leave some private space for their children and not control them too much. Of course, communication is two-sided, and students must also realize that the starting point of parents and teachers is. Love and responsibility, we must learn to understand and trust parents and teachers.

To guide students how to grasp the scale of heterosexual interactions and how to correctly handle emotional issues in heterosexual interactions, teachers must have corresponding skills. Teachers should strengthen their own training and learn how to teach - pay attention to the method and get twice the result with half the effort.

When teachers face heterosexual interactions with their students, our education methods have a great impact on the students. If the education methods are inappropriate, it will arouse rebellious psychology and have negative effects. If the teacher handles it properly, the children will Grasp the standards for interacting with the opposite sex and avoid falling into misunderstandings. Today's students need our respect and understanding, and should be given appropriate guidance and sincere help instead of unreasonable accusations and careless neglect.