Emotional intelligence is also very important - cultivate interpersonal relationships early

The quality of interpersonal relationships affects a person's success or failure. One of the important manifestations of high emotional intelligence is having good interpersonal relationships.

Former US President Roosevelt once said: "The most important factor in the formula for success is getting along with others."

If a child’s social skills in interpersonal interaction have not developed in a positive direction during the socialization process, and they show willful, self-centered, unsociable, domineering, aggressive and other behaviors,

Such children are often not popular in the group and find it difficult to have good interpersonal interactions, thus losing the sense of trust and security between people;

Love and respect Naturally, children whose basic needs cannot be met can easily turn into emotional distress, which may also affect physical and physiological health, and even affect personality development and adaptation to future social life.

Interpersonal relationships are the art of managing other people's emotions. It requires people to take appropriate measures to establish and maintain good relationships with others on the basis of recognizing the emotions of others.

A person's popularity, business connections, leadership skills, and interpersonal harmony are all related to this ability. People who fully master this ability are often the best in society.

In real life, some children have good interpersonal relationships and have many friends; some children have poor performance in this aspect and have few friends. The reason for this difference, apart from a small number of innate influencing factors, is most closely related to the child's acquired living habits and personality.

Children with poor interpersonal relationships mainly have the following typical mentality: they believe that they must leave a good impression on others in order to win their respect and love, but they do not know how to win the hearts of others. If you please others, you will feel that the gains outweigh the losses;

Think that others can understand your own thoughts, and believe that harm and anxiety are unwanted emotions, so you do not leave home; you are afraid of making a fool of yourself in public, and believe that if something happens If you make a fool of yourself, others will make fun of you;

You will not be able to say no or express anger. When you have conflicts with others, you will only accommodate and compromise, leaving an impression of lack of confidence. ;

Believe that others do not like the true self. Once others discover the true self, they will feel that they are weak, incompetent and worthless; they feel that they have become the target of public criticism, and everyone is talking about themselves... I believe in the above mentality. A lot of kids with bad relationships can relate to this.

Today, "interpersonal" skills have been listed as one of the basic emotional intelligence of children. As Marlaudis Karan, a clinical child psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, said: "A child with low social skills has greater disabilities than a child who has not entered college."

After a child is born, it is like a blank piece of paper. All patterns are formed by the parents drawing them one stroke at a time. The same goes for interpersonal skills.

So, how do parents cultivate their children's good interpersonal skills?

First, start from the basics.

Child psychologist Lerner Tua said that we should start from the most common basics and teach children to say "hello", "please", "thank you", and words to respond. In other words, we need to start teaching from the most basic level.

Second, how to talk.

The dining table is a good place for parents to communicate with their children. Parents should try to talk about casual topics, such as "What do we want to do this weekend?" If the children have no suggestions, you can make suggestions. However, it is best to let the child express his wishes and not to put him in the position of a bystander or an echoer.

Third, overcome shyness.

Never underestimate your child’s shyness, as it is a huge obstacle for them to make friends. Research shows that about 11%-15% of children tend to be excessively shy. Very serious parents often make shy children more timid and stuttering.

If parents forcefully correct the problem at this time, the child's stuttering will become worse. Parents' constant nagging or high-pressure methods to correct the child will only make him more panicked.

In fact, any threatening behavior, such as scolding, sarcasm, sarcasm or nagging will not only not help the child at all, but will also make him withdraw even more, turning him from shyness to a serious psychological disorder.

Parents who take their children to social places step by step can help him overcome his timidity. For example, a mother can take her daughter to an assembly or to a park, introduce her to other children, and suggest that her daughter give them their toys to play with.

Fourth, live in harmony.

Children will face the running-in of interpersonal relationships when they enter group life. Among children who have not yet been socialized, almost every child will have the same phenomenon of "self-centeredness". This phenomenon is not unique to young children. Selfishness or moral character is not high, but is a natural expression of human nature.

In the face of self-centeredness in young children, how to teach them to get out of self-centeredness and learn basic harmonious behaviors such as fairness, sharing, courtesy, and cooperation is an important lesson in cultivating the development of good interpersonal relationships in young children.

Fifth, let children take on roles.

If you are going to take part in a piano recital, your child may start practicing weeks in advance, which will build their confidence. But many parents neglect to give their children the practice opportunity to participate in large-scale invitational competitions. They don't know that such an opportunity will be deeply engraved in their children's minds.

It is very important to give children opportunities to take on roles. Experts say such opportunities are like keys on a piano that play beautiful notes.

If your child wants to attend an event, such as attending a wedding, parents should tell him the general procedures and "plot" of the wedding, and allow the child to go on his own. In addition, grooming and clothing should not be ignored.

An expert said: "Clothing is very important. If he is not neatly dressed, other children will notice it and even talk about it, which will affect the child's self-confidence."

Also A very important note. Philippine child psychologist Ma Laudis Carandan specifically warned that when teaching children how to communicate, do not change the child's basic personality, nor should you deliberately pursue excellent social skills in the child.

If he only has one or two free friends, that's fine too. It is important that children communicate well with their friends.

# parenting 经#

#familyeducation#

# SMART CHILD NUTRITION NOTES#