Let's look at a chat record between me and him. How can I judge that his emotional intelligence is low?
I want to talk to you on the phone.
I have nothing to say. Didn't you go to work?
I'm sorry to bother you, but maybe I really shouldn't show up.
You suddenly become so polite. Am I still your friend or just a classmate?
Since you don't treat me as a friend, what should I do?
If you are not my friend, I am too lazy to reply. And you didn't reply to many messages I sent, and I don't know what kind of role I am. I wanted to ease the relationship, but who knew it would turn out like this.
A: If I don't love you and treat you as a friend, I will delete you, let alone contact you to make a phone call. Am I stupid?
But will you remember me if I don't say hello? You seldom talk to me at ordinary times.
Those rude words you said earlier were terrible.
What did I say? My tone today is already very mild.
A: Don't you want to break up when you say you have nothing to say?
Starting with this news, I have to explain later that calling without topic does not mean breaking up, and it takes a lot of time.
It turns out that chatting is also a tiring thing!
First of all, I have put myself in his shoes, but sometimes the level of thinking is not what I really understand now. What rude words have I said?
What are the manifestations of low emotional intelligence?
1. From the perspective of self:
Poor self-awareness, no self-confidence, no clear goals, and no intention to put them into practice. I often lose my temper, my ability to cope with anxiety is poor, my life is disorderly, I love to complain, and I am timid.
Poor psychological endurance, can't stand a little blow, often tears, and feel pessimistic and desperate about life.
2. From the perspective of workplace work:
I always like to make excuses for my failure, pass the buck and be afraid of difficulties.
3. From the perspective of influencing others:
Rely heavily on others, never consider others' feelings when speaking or doing things, and have poor interpersonal skills.
What will people with high emotional intelligence and people with low emotional intelligence do in the face of the same situation?
1. Poor self-awareness
One of the words he often talks about is:
I know I'm short, unattractive and in poor shape.
After hearing these words, I know that he didn't accept his own defects and tried to change them.
People with high emotional intelligence will not give up on themselves, but will try their best to change the reality through acquired efforts.
If you are in poor shape, you can lose weight and build muscles through exercise.
Swimming and playing basketball are the best ways to grow taller.
Looking at a person depends on inner beauty, and foreign trade is only one of the items that can be added.
A person who completely denies himself in one sentence has limited achievements, because he always feels that he is inherently inferior to others.
2. No self-confidence, no clear goal, and no intention to put it into practice.
I asked him these questions before the exam:
What's your score this time?
Are you sure you will do well in the exam?
How's the review going? His answer every time is: I don't know how the exam went, but I have seen a little. I hope god will let me do better in the exam.
Hearing these answers, I judge that he has been decadent and has never worked hard.
A person with high emotional intelligence has his own goals, and he is confident to do things well. He doesn't hesitate to do it when he thinks of it. Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared.
3. Never consider other people's feelings when talking or doing things, often lose your temper, and have poor interpersonal skills and poor ability to cope with anxiety.
He is often angry about trifles. When he is angry, everything he says and does becomes irrational, and he often hurts people unconsciously.
Often a few words will chill the lively atmosphere.
His interpersonal relationship is not clear, let's analyze it from the scene I saw.
In the class, he broke off relations with many classmates. It was a trivial matter that made him feel very bitter. He regarded him as a class member and hated it.
What people have done wrong, verbal bickering is common and inevitable, and tolerant people never care about these small things.
There is no denying that everyone has anxiety. Excessive anxiety will only bring negative emotions and affect the quality of life. Coping with anxiety is a compulsory course for a person.
People with high emotional intelligence will control their emotions, be loved in interpersonal communication, and be able to adjust themselves in the face of anxiety without bringing negative emotions to others.
I always like to make excuses for my failure and pass the buck.
Everyone will make excuses, but some words are inappropriate.
There is a saying that is true: people who fall in love have negative IQ.
This sentence is a perfect description for two people who love each other.
For a single person who is not in love now, your IQ and feelings do not constitute a negative relationship, do they?
This reason is acceptable and forgivable for a couple, but he used it as an excuse to perfunctory friends because he didn't want to think about it, and completely pushed the responsibility out.
You're too lazy to think about it. You shouldn't pass the buck with this sentence as an excuse to prove your innocence.
Therefore, the communication ability of speaking is very important, and the emotional intelligence of people who know how to speak is not low.
Want to improve emotional intelligence from these aspects:
Know yourself correctly and know yourself from the heart.
Recognize your current mood, and learn to adjust your own mentality and negative emotions without affecting others' mood and work efficiency.
When you know what you really want, set yourself a goal and start to achieve it.
Learn speaking skills from books, improve interpersonal relationships, and get along well with colleagues, leaders and subordinates in the workplace.
Practice pressure resistance and find your own unique decompression method.
There is nothing I can't do to keep my faith in things and strengthen my faith.
Analyze things calmly and think twice before you act.
Make a self-evaluation before the end of the day, and reflect on what you have done in the day and what needs to be improved and improved.
Summary: Having a high EQ makes people less likely to hit a wall and easier to walk on the road to success.