As soon as the children have summer vacation, parents are worried.

Yesterday, just after going to work, my colleague Zhang Jie gave her son a warning on the phone: "It's ok to go out to play, but you can't play with the child across the hall, you can't leave the community, you must be accompanied by your grandmother, and you can't ..."

We all laugh at Zhang Jie, who cares too much about our son, and you should limit who you play with.

Sister Zhang looked helpless: "You don't know, children follow bad children and learn bad quickly."

It turns out that Zhang Jie's neighbor's son is 11 years old, two years older than Zhang Jie's son.

Because the neighbor's family is rich, and they can't educate their children reasonably, the children are like spoiled little emperors, and they are lawless.

First, I took Zhang Jie's son to the supermarket downstairs to buy stickers. Zhang Jie's son usually has little pocket money, so the child encouraged Zhang Jie's son to steal money from his parents.

Later, Zhang Jie's son was encouraged to ride an electric car. As a result, two children who had never ridden an electric car ran into several cars parked on the side of the road, and the children fell off the cars.

after the accident, the child ran away, and the owner took Zhang Jie's son to the door to let Zhang Jie repair the car.

Looking at her scarred son, Sister Zhang was both angry and glad. Fortunately, the child was all right, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable.

Since then, Sister Zhang has never allowed her son to play with that child.

After listening to Zhang Jie's description, I remembered a frightening video on the Internet a few days ago.

A girl in blue, with two girls about seven or eight years old, climbed onto the open-air rooftop of a tall building and climbed over the railing of the rooftop, playing games.

If the child's foot is a few centimeters back, he will definitely step empty and fall downstairs.

The girl in blue, clutching the railing, is yelling at two girls who have no sense of danger: "Let go."

The photographer found this dangerous scene by accident and gently advised the girl to come down from the dangerous place.

Seeing that the two girls were out of danger, the girl in blue became angry from embarrassment, loudly reprimanded the photographer for "meddling" and went forward to tear the photographer's mobile phone.

just imagine, if the photographer didn't stop it in time, the consequences would be really hard to imagine!

We don't know why the girl in blue is psychologically motivated. It's just that having such a friend around her not only destroys the child, but also makes it more likely that the child will die.

Li Xincao, a sophomore in Yunnan. At the invitation of my roommate, I went to Kunming to play with my roommate, and my roommate invited two men I didn't know.

As a result, Li Xincao was drunk and restricted from leaving, and then fell into the water not far away.

A fledgling girl, at the invitation of her roommate, had normal social communication, but she lost her life.

Jiang Ge, a cross friend, saved the so-called good friend out of morality, and as a result, she lost her life. My mother was cursed and reviled by this "good friend" all day.

Nietzsche once said: If you struggle with a dragon for too long, you will become a dragon yourself. If you stare at the abyss for too long, the abyss will stare back.

making friends with "garbage people" is the same.

at a light level, your conduct will deteriorate and your grades will deteriorate. At a heavy level, your career will be ruined or even your life will be lost.

As parents, we really need to be snobbish. Besides teaching our children to know things, distinguish between right and wrong, and stay away from bad friends, we should also respect our children's right to make friends. What should we do?

1. Don't judge children's friends blindly

Don't be confused by the labels of "poor study" and "playful" until you know the personality of children's friends.

Encourage your children to invite their partners to play at home, and you will know what kind of personality your children associate with through observation. Compared with grades, children's character is the most important.

My son sometimes invites some friends to play at home. Through their contact, I find that some children get good grades, but they are selfish and arrogant, while one of his friends who doesn't study very well is frank, gentle and especially helpful.

On one occasion, my son twisted his foot. After class, it was the enthusiastic child who helped his son go to the toilet.

such a child will be welcomed by everyone wherever he goes.

2. Bad friends dilute each other's friendship.

When you observe that children's friends have some bad morals, such as stealing, loving violence and lying.

you can't keep silent, but you shouldn't be too radical. For example, let them reduce the chances of meeting each other in a roundabout way, such as giving the child an interest class at night, so that he can spend less time with this friend.

For example, Sister Zhang in the above article immediately opposed her son's association with him when she saw that the child had made friends with bad conduct.

Some children may listen to their parents' advice, while others are unaware of the harm. For such children, parents' forcible stopping may cause their children's rebellious mentality. Some measures can be taken to reduce the time children spend together and let new friends replace their old friends.

3. Introduce some new partners to children to replace old partners.

If you want to guide your child to make friends, parents must clearly understand what kind of friends your child needs and which friends will adversely affect him. This requires a correct standard.

We can't just look at whether children are obedient or not, and we can't just rely on children's grades.

It depends on whether friends have a positive influence on the development of children's personality.

Making friends with different personalities, especially friends who can correct and help each other with children's personalities, will have a better influence on him.

If you find that introverted children at home are always with the same quiet children, they encourage each other's introverted personality.

Then, don't just break up their friendship at this time, you can introduce more new friends with different personalities to your child, so that his behavior and personality are not always influenced by a companion.

For example, my child's personality is relatively calm and lacks the sense of challenge. He has a good friend, who is just the opposite of him. He has strong hands-on ability and active thinking, which makes up for his son's shortcomings. Under his influence, his son has gradually become active.

In short, not all friends will become positive energy for his growth. In this process, parents' standards are needed to guide children.

Not everyone will "get close to Zhu Zhechi and get close to Mexico", but an excellent circle can make people make continuous progress and meet better themselves.

On the contrary, bad circles will only add endless troubles to your life and eventually drag you down.

I have heard the saying: "What kind of people you are with will lead to what kind of life. With diligent people, you will not be lazy;

with positive people, you won't be depressed; Walking with the wise, you will be extraordinary; You can climb to the top by interacting with superior people.

In real life, who you are with is very important, and it can even change your growth trajectory and determine the success or failure of your life.

I wish all children can make good, positive and excellent friends, and have sunshine and warmth all their lives.