Online dating sketch video

I'm under pressure

A: Thank you, thank you for your silent support. Well, actually, I think the applause is for you.

Don't say that to us.

A: No, no, it's all for you. Listen to it. Not to mention shooting people who will fail in the final exam.

You are fooling around here.

a； Actually, I'm glad to see you here, but I can't.

What's the matter with you?

Why don't you make a sound?

A: Well, I can't do that. Wipe my nose and tears.

B: What's the matter? Stop crying and say something.

Well, I said, wipe your nose with b,

Hey, where are you going to put it?

I have a lot of pressure.

B: You don't have to cry when you are under pressure.

A: It's bad luck to drink cold water and stuff your teeth and fart on your heels.

B: it can't be so bad!

You know I am also a dreamer, and I want to pursue my happiness.

B: Well, it's all the same. So what's your dream?

My dream is to be a mountaineer.

Oh! Ambitious.

A: Sometimes I can't sleep and dream night after night. In my dream, I want to climb the highest mountain in the world, the Himalayas.

I am tired, too. Did you go?

After a long journey, I finally climbed Mount Everest in the Himalayas.

B: That's the highest place!

A: Standing on Mount Everest, I look up at the sky and sigh loudly. How can I get down?

Your dream is really realistic.

A: It's over. The dream of climbing the mountain was shattered. Do something else.

Do something!

A: Looking for a job! I'm going to work.

Where can I find it?

I applied for a job in TV station, and you are the only one.

B: I'm not afraid of others when I die. Then you will faint.

I don't care about that I went with a primary school diploma.

B: Do primary schools have diplomas? Yes! This is not a fake diploma.

A: After I went there, there was a host, very handsome, with a suit and tie, shiny little hair and a pair of glasses. He smells like a traitor's translation at first sight, and speaks standard and fluent Mandarin, just like the host of our party.

Oh! The famous host was called a traitor by you. What did he say?

Answer: {Turn to Henan dialect} Let me say a few words. We're here to apply, not to show off. Don't give me a fake diploma. Fake academic qualifications fool people, believe it or not, you bastards.

Is this Mandarin? Isn't this Henan dialect? What qualities does the host have? He was even scolded.

I fainted before he finished speaking. A female judge even said that my diploma was fake.

B: The primary school diploma is still fake!

A: This is the diploma I got after studying in primary school for ten years! This is not fake.

B: OK? I have been in primary school for six years, but I have been in the fourth grade. And then that

I am under a lot of pressure. Is it easy for me? I was so angry that I came out and resigned. I started my own business. I can't believe it. I can't be the general manager.

B: start a company?

A: Selling newspapers.

Hey, this is a business investment.

A: No way. It's winter, the twelfth month of October, and it's very cold.

B: It's cold enough.

A: The north wind roared, and the leaves fell on my face like a small knife.

B: that's really sad.

A: At 5: 30 in the evening, all the lights are on. I was walking alone at the school gate with a newspaper wrapped around my waist, thinking, xx, what a big deal! When is it mine?

B: The dream is yours.

A: Alas! Don't think so much. I cried when I sold the newspaper.

Well, in order to attract customers,

I sell newspapers and watch the news. This is an extra number. I was informed by the sports department that the school would not study in the morning.

B: Ah, what kind of newspapers do you sell here? Students will be able to report it. You are so promising.

A: I didn't sell any money.

B: I can't sell it. Go to the bulletin board of the teaching building and you will understand everything.

A: My first venture failed like this. I have a lot of pressure.

Forget it. That's easy to say.

A: I really can't find a job.

B: It's hard to find a job.

What are you doing at home?

We must think about it.

A: I will find a girlfriend. Hey hey, I'm still single. Sometimes, I look at talented and beautiful people on campus. It's not a taste in my heart. Take today as an example. Some people bring their girlfriends to the show, and of course others bring their girlfriends to the show. Alas, they feel uncomfortable.

Don't say that. I want to fall in love.

I make friends online.

B: Very fashionable.

A: It is written on the Internet that there is a single aristocrat today, looking for a white man who refuses to be disturbed by diaosi. Height 1 m 82, income confidential. He is twenty years old and weighs. Um, I'll leave a phone number at the bottom if you are interested.

B: Honestly, that's it, huh?

Guess what? I got a reply on the internet in a few days, and there are still many. I told them my home address. They all came to my house.

b； is it

Hey, I'm holding a beauty contest.

Yes, you can.

A: At first glance, there are still many stars.

Who are they?

A: Gan Lulu, Guo Meimei, Yan, Beast.

Ah, what is this? It's too dirty.

A: What's that name? As you all know, Cang,

B: All right, all right {cover A's mouth} Stop it, people will blow you down.

feet that sweat easily

These are feet.

A: Are they all here?

Hey, it's no big deal

The heroine came up to me. Let's be realistic.

B: how realistic?

Let me ask you, do you have a room? No, do you have a car? No, do you have money? No, what are you talking about?

All right, be a gold digger.

Aren't you cheating on our feelings? Look at you, one third to people and one seventh to ghosts. People who know you know that your name is Wang Chen, but those who don't know you think that you are a pig.

B: Her metaphor is vivid. hum

You say, what qualifications do you have? It's silly to find friends. You say, why do you say?

Go on, refute her.

I can't breathe. You forced me. Why should I? My father is Li Gang.

Fight for your father. You even changed your father to find a wife.

Hey, I'm just kidding you. I just like pigs. He is so cute. I don't have a house or a car, as long as I have a father.

B: And this sentence is really useful.

I went to see you like a fox. Why did you go early? I don't like you today, master. Let's leave now.

B: You look great.

There is only one girl left. I said, why don't you leave?

B: Ah.

A: The woman said I just arrived. Make friends. You are really handsome. I like you like this.

B: This woman has good taste, too. Are you blind?

A: Don't talk nonsense. I think this woman is pretty. She is tall with shoulder-length hair, wearing a white dress and black stockings on her legs.

Sure, you son of a bitch.

A: Oh, not stockings, but leg hair.

B: I said, why is it so strong? You have seen it clearly.

A: Forget it. We're through. As soon as I said this, the woman turned and left.

B: Why not?

A: I'm afraid of stabbing me.

B: Those socks are pure natural.

I hate you. Don't say that.

Hmm.

A: I have nothing to do again. I'm under pressure to do something. Well, there's nothing I can do. Why don't I eat?

Yeah, let's get down to business.

A: Well, I'll join the underworld.

B: Ah, it's illegal.

So I am getting closer and closer to success.

Yes, you are getting closer and closer to the prison.

If you talk nonsense again, I'll interrupt you. I am a hooligan.

B: Ah,,,

Here comes the boss. Yo, who are you? Gangdom, protection money is coming. Oh, hello, please take care in the future! That's not important. I can't come for nothing today. I have to eat you. What do you like to eat? I like food, you have nothing else, I just like eating this shell. Okay, here, take a melon seed.

B: This is lobster, and the seafood city is going to rub melon seeds.

A: (eating melon seeds) I hate walking.

Really? Are you shameless?

I will never come here again. He has no respect for the underground world.

You are ashamed to go.

A: Where can I buy it? Balushu, I went to the bar to collect protection money. Sit here and have a drink! Knock, knock, pour a glass of wine and sit here and drink.

B: Oh.

Ouch, I drank too much. I had to go to the bathroom and take out a piece of paper, which read: I am a gangster, and I spit in it. Put it on my cup.

B: afraid of being stolen.

I went to the bathroom. When I came back, no one dared to move. I am still there (drinking).

B: Still drinking.

A: No, here's a note (see note): I'm not from the underworld, and I threw up. (Vomiting) I thought and thought.

How dare you?

A: That's disgusting.

A: This underworld can't get along. I'm more underworld than I am. It's so stressful to be a gangster.

You asked for it. Do something serious.

I think so too. Someone found me a good job right away.

Really?