★ Child case: Xiao Xin, 5, is introverted and obedient, and doesn't like playing with children. The children don't like to play with him. They said: Xiao Ning likes Xiao Xin very much, but when Xiao Ning wanted to shake hands with him and become friends, he ran away immediately. The more Xiao Ning chased him, the more he hid. All the children find him difficult to get along with. My sister asked Xiao Xin, "Don't you want to be friends with him?" He said, "How can we be friends?" My children are very active at home and talk a lot. Why do you become like another person as soon as you go out? When you meet an acquaintance, you shrink back, always pestering adults to play with him, but you are at a loss when you are with children. Our requirements are not high, as long as he can grow up happily and healthily, but now he obviously lacks the innocence that children should have, and I am really worried about whether he can adapt after attending primary school. Having friends under the guidance of experts is an important sign of people's mental health. In childhood, most children will find several partners who can help them understand life, enjoy happiness and share pain. Children without friends not only live lonely, but also lose self-esteem. As parents, we need to know whether children are not good at making friends not only because of external objective factors, such as no children of the same age around, parents always take their children to change cities for work reasons and so on. It is also because of the child's own subjective factors. The above-mentioned children's problems mainly belong to poor social skills and lack of self-confidence in emotional intelligence. Parents will also take some measures when they realize that their children need to improve in this respect, but the angle is often adult and the effect is not obvious. Therefore, parents must adopt appropriate methods when guiding their children to make friends. The specific methods are: ◆ Teaching experience. Usually tell children the story of "making friends" and teach them how to make friends: being kind and enthusiastic, knowing how to share the sufferings and joys of others; Pay attention to what others say; Compassionate and helpful, so as to become friends that others are willing to associate with. ◆ Encourage making friends. Parents should encourage their children to actively communicate with their children, and sometimes they can match the bridge for their children and create conditions. Such as parties, holidays, taking children to children's activity centers, parks and so on. Contact other children to play together. Encourage children to seize the opportunity and boldly show themselves, thus winning the recognition of their peers. ◆ Cultivate interest. Friendship is based on the same interests. Parents should cultivate their children's wide interests and establish friendship with friends by actively participating in activities. ◆ Respect the choice. Children often have their own different social needs. Parents should give their children full rights to choose friends and let them make their own decisions. Welcome children's friends to play at home, don't deny children's friends easily. ◆ Set an example. Parents should tell their children how to establish and cherish friendship with their words and deeds, so that children can learn to make friends in a loving and warm atmosphere. In addition, in interpersonal communication, children aged 3-6 still don't understand the true meaning of friendship. "Good friends" are only based on toys, snacks and other objects. However, parents can still see that some children play well together. Some children are also prone to conflict with others, such as "deliberately" and "teasing" others and provoking others; Being out of the game, it is difficult to participate. Parents should pay more attention to and guide their children to correct problems in time. If the problem is serious and the actual operation is difficult, professional EQ training is needed to help solve it. There may still be some misunderstandings about parents' views on children's making friends: Myth 1: The more friends, the better. It is not good to have no friends, and it is not good to have too many friends. If the child has only one friend, but it lasts for a long time, parents need not worry too much. Myth 2: Children's speaking loudly can give people a pleasant feeling, that is, "sociable" shouting loudly is not more convincing than speaking in a gentle tone. In children's communication, whether friendship can be maintained is the key. Myth 3: It doesn't matter if children are young and rude. The habit of politeness is not born, but cultivated from childhood. The earlier your child has a polite attitude, the easier it will be accepted by others. Myth 4: Meeting new friends is "communication". Meeting new friends can certainly improve children's communication skills. Children spend most of their time with their families, and getting along well with their families can also show their communication skills. Myth 5: Children should associate with "smart" children. Parents should let their children know that everyone has their own weaknesses and strengths. Even if your child's other half is not as good as yours in some ways, the advantages of others are still worth learning. Myth 6: Parents communicate instead of children. Sometimes, before the child speaks, the mother speaks first: "Our children are timid, introverted and shy." In fact, the mother is worried that the child's clumsy speech will make her lose face. In this way, children are afraid to say what they want to say. When their children have the same problems as Xiao Xin, I hope parents can clear their minds, guide their children to establish their own social outlook in the right way, and be a happy, confident and popular person.