Be careful when making friends. No matter who you make friends with, you should be careful. A well-known proverb, "He who is near the ink is black", vividly illustrates the importance of "making friends carefully", which is the experience of the ancients. The fact is true, how a person's friends often play a great role in their own development, which is an invisible and subtle influence.
What's the best friend to make? The ancients said, "The winner has three friends, and the loser has three friends. Friends are straightforward, friends are considerate, and many friends are heard, which is beneficial; Friends are withdrawn, friendly and soft, and friends are hurt. " In other words, making friends with honest, trustworthy and knowledgeable people will benefit a lot; It is harmful to make friends with flattering, insincere and flashy people. This still inspires us how to choose and make friends today. Generally speaking, in real life, we make the following kinds of friends, which is most conducive to the development of friends' municipal administration.
Best friend. Refers to friends who are sincere and live by feelings and principles.
Fear of friends refers to people who can "learn from each other morally and discipline each other in negligence", that is, people who dare to speak out and criticize others directly and actively carry out criticism and self-criticism. Fear of friends can be like a mirror, reflecting the dust and stains on each other's faces, so as to find and correct them in time.
Close friends. It is to be able to "prioritize * *, and life and death can be entrusted." In other words, close friends with strong feelings can share joys and sorrows with themselves.
A friend who is diligent in learning or knowledgeable. Making friends can increase your knowledge, broaden your horizons, cooperate with each other, learn from each other's strengths, promote each other and spur each other.
How to treat friends? When we find friends through careful selection, how to ensure the harmonious and healthy development of our relationship is very particular and knowledgeable.
Be honest with each other. From the heart, from the heart. I am most afraid of insincerity, emptiness and dealing with friends. Friends are allowed to have their own privacy, but there is no doubt that whether or not to "hide" and how much to "hide" are the signs to measure friendship.
Keep your promises and trust each other. "Faithfulness" was regarded by the ancients as one of the unchangeable virtues in treating people. Confucius said, "Make friends and keep promises". Faith, first of all, is credit. You keep your word, keep your word, keep your word. Secondly, trust and miss friends without unreasonable suspicion. An unpleasant person can't make friends, and a person who always doubts others rarely makes friends with you.
A hedge between keeps friendship green. & lt& lt Zhuangzi Elder >> There is a saying in China, "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, but a friendship between villains is as sweet as water". True friendship depends on sincere sympathy, not sweet words or heavy gifts. As for the exchange of materials, disgusting flattery, mutual use and even cheating, we college students should throw them in the garbage. The friendship between gentlemen should stand the test of time and external environment.
Of course, we advocate that a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and we don't object to the polite and civilized gift of a friend list. In a sense, the behavior of "sending charcoal in the snow" or "sending goose feathers in a thousand miles" between friends can better reflect the feelings of mutual concern and friendship between friends. When friends are in trouble, they will give full help and selfless support, which is the performance of true friends.
2 "Friends" is defined as "people who have friendship with each other" in the dictionary. Judging from the meaning of hieroglyphics, the combination of the bright moon and the two bends reflects a heart-to-heart relationship. The ancients had a very strict definition of "friend". Su Jun, a great scholar in Ming Dynasty, divided friends into four categories: intimate friends, friends who are afraid of friends, friends who steal friends and intimate friends, and regarded "morality and morality as mutual encouragement, negligence as rules, urgency as supplies, and life and death as the highest realm of friends".
However, with the development of the times, the expansion of economic activities and the increase of social contacts, the very pure word "friend" has been labeled as a commodity and has become popular in the contemporary era. Haven't you heard that "many friends and many roads" and "many friends and many roads" have become a creed in today's society; Today's "friends" are like markets, with business cards flying all over the sky, friends all over the world, "better than clouds" and "weddings" everywhere. In fact, as we all know, "friends" are no longer the hereditary territory of personal feelings, but the "passport" that everyone can create to get through the relationship. For those who are good at this, "friends" are still information, motivation, stars holding the moon, Guan Qiao, and a magic weapon to take refuge and solve problems. Of course, they also know the negative effects of this "friend": sometimes it is a headache medicine, sometimes it is a laxative, and sometimes it is like a group of swindlers and robbers who massage their emotions.
Friends is entering an era of alienation and bad taste. Friendship hides business feelings, friendship becomes fear, friendship is immersed in interests, and friendship is difficult. In the officialdom where "our two officials are very different", people who call friends and flatter each other, such as Mu He, once became corrupt gangs that supported each other. Instead of benefiting one party, it was a disaster. In the end, Wang Tong's warning to the Sui Dynasty was answered: "Anyone who pays attention to the situation will definitely refuse." . The phenomenon of "killing each other" for mutual benefit in society has made people talk about friends. The once rampant pyramid selling activities have made many relatives and friends bankrupt and cornered; Friends open stores and raise funds to set up factories together. If you don't lose money, you will argue, and if you make money, you will make a red eye. Friends who help you rent a facade may make money; Friends who help you raise money may be collecting usury; Friends who help you introduce business may kill you with kickbacks; Friends who help you repair your computer and install air-conditioning water heaters should bring at least one cigarette or two bottles of wine ... If the times become that everyone is striving to be a gold digger, the sense of rights replaces the sense of responsibility, and the sense of money replaces the sense of career, then "friends" will inevitably lose their due glory and be overwhelmed by the aura of "potential" and "profit".
Of course, I'm not denying my friend, I just want to clear my friend's name. Life without friends is impossible; But to be friends, there should be minimum principles. In my opinion, the principle of making friends is the principle of being a man. One is honesty, the other is sincerity, and the third is prudence. Integrity means putting principle first and personal friendship second. No matter when and where, don't replace and influence the implementation of policies, laws and principles with personal relationships, personal feelings and personal interests; Sincerity means treating your friends with truth and sincerity, putting the relationship between friends on the scale of proper communication, and never using "friends" as bait for personal gain. In the end, you will hurt your friends and yourself. Caution means paying attention to the quality of making friends and not abusing friendship. A friend of the author has three words in making friends: no virtue, no inaction, no love. This is a proverb.
Therefore, it is not always easy to walk with more friends. Only by choosing friends and finding good friends will it be easy to walk with more friends.