1. If someone listens to your worries, it makes you feel at ease

- If there is a relationship that makes you feel safe to expose your vulnerabilities, then you You will definitely be full of energy. When we encounter difficulties, the final solution is only by constantly struggling to find answers in the difficult situation, but sometimes it is really difficult to face it alone. If there are people around you who are similarly troubled or depressed, you might as well try to communicate with them. It is also good for two people to complain happily together. Spiritual communication between people actually means putting yourself on an equal footing with the other person and listening to the other person's inner world. Even if you can't give advice or provide a way to enlighten people, if you simply put yourself in their shoes and listen, the other person will feel much more relaxed.

2. Don’t be stingy, accept small requests, and let the small kindness flow

——The so-called interpersonal relationship seems complicated, but in fact it is simple. It suddenly becomes clear when you interpret the relationship of help. If you are a person who accepts favors easily, then you will have less friction in interpersonal relationships. These small kindnesses can often improve the workplace environment and interpersonal relationships. Being a "person who is easily asked for help" does not mean deliberately trying to please anyone. It means that when others ask me for help, I will readily agree if I can do it. If I have enough time, I should handle it well; if I cannot do it, I will do it. Say "I'm sorry" and say no politely, rather than saying something obnoxious like "That's not my job." If you bring happiness to the other person, your relationship will be better. In this way, when you need help from others, others will be happy to lend a helping hand.

3. The winner is to apologize first after a dispute. If you get angry as soon as something happens, you will not be able to gain a foothold

- At work, we will inevitably have friction with others. Compared with those who are not good at apologizing, those who apologize first are stronger mentally and have more comfortable interpersonal relationships. When you say something excessive that makes the other person unhappy, no matter who the other person is, taking the initiative to apologize to the other person is an effective way to ease the relationship. Especially in the workplace, the more unpleasant the colleagues are, the more uncomfortable they will feel when getting along with each other. At such times, try to avoid saying "apology will lower your status", "the other party should apologize", or "the other party is young and should apologize to me". The idea is to treat others as equals, lower yourself and take the initiative to apologize and express gratitude for others' efforts, so that you can get help from more people and the work can proceed smoothly.

4. When making friends, you should choose according to your own preferences. It is not advisable to make friends by weighing the pros and cons.

- In real life, some people want to be recognized by everyone or have more friends. People who have too much money and fame often deliberately try to please others, say unintentional compliments, or even deceive and slander others. In the short term, such people may gain some benefits and satisfy some of their own desires. But taking the long view is sad and isolating. Too much desire makes them only calculate gains and losses when interacting with others, and only consider whether the other person is helpful to them, whether they can increase their own interests, etc. They are simply unable to understand and feel "compatible or not" or "like". , hate" this kind of simple emotion and inner freedom. Life should not be troubled by unnecessary things. It is very rare to follow your heart and have close interactions with "kind-hearted people".

5. Should you socialize or stay away from that person? Don’t rush to find the answer. Just adjust the psychological distance.

——When getting along with others, if you feel uncomfortable or If you are hurt and realize "this person is like this", then change the distance between you and him, and don't be wronged or force yourself, because in the relationship between people, whether you are trying hard to take the initiative to interact, or trying to arouse the other person's affection, Attention seems unnatural and abnormal. There is no need to choose "0" or "1" to decide whether to associate or stay away. There needs to be a standard answer. It should be "associate if you like it" and "stay away if you don't like it." In reality, there is no 100-point interpersonal relationship. As long as you can tell the people you trust, Just tell the truth and pour out your feelings. Don't force or be persistent.

Thoughts on how to maintain "good interpersonal relationships":

1. Only by being a good listener can one become a talker.

The relationship between people is mutual. If you want to have an intimate person to talk to when you are depressed, you must first learn to be a good listener. When someone talks to you about their troubles, what he (she) often needs is comfort, encouragement and moderate affection. It is not that you stand on a high place and instruct him (her) what to do or give you self-righteous opinions and suggestions. . In a relationship, understanding your role and functions is the basis for good interpersonal relationships.

2. Give goodwill to get goodwill. If you want to get something, you have to pay first. Why do you emphasize "pay first"? Some people pay too much attention to their own gains and losses in a relationship. They often first evaluate how much the other party has given to you, and then weigh it to see how much they have to give. If it sounds good, it means they are calculating, and if it sounds bad, it means they are good at calculation. A good interpersonal relationship is warm, and comes from your willingness to come and go, rather than a step-by-step comparison of money and money.

3. Treat others equally and kindly. Treating others with respect, equality and kindness from the bottom of your heart is the only way to resolve conflicts. Don't be biased when encountering problems, don't be tied up by those natural thoughts. People who take the initiative to apologize and show kindness are often people with stronger hearts and are strong in the true sense; don't be stubborn when encountering conflicts, and act with a sincere heart. A kind heart should understand others, be tolerant of others, and do not embarrass yourself or others.

4. Only sincerity can be exchanged for sincerity. Any purposeful communication can be long-lasting and sincere if both parties know it. Focus on your true inner feelings. When you meet someone you like or recognize, interact with them sincerely and feel the natural comfort and beauty. When you meet someone you don't like, don't be obsessed with it. Treat it with a normal attitude. If maintaining a moderate psychological distance is not enough, just maintain a certain physical distance.