Everyone hopes that their children can make friends with good children, grow up in a good environment, and see a better world. But children are independent individuals and have the freedom to choose their friends. We cannot usually control what kind of friends they make.

As the saying goes, those who are close to vermilion are red, and those who are close to ink are black. Aesop once said: "For an immature boy, bad friends play a much greater role than good teachers." Bad friends covet children's money and trivial matters, lead children to do things they don't want to do, and even If personal safety is threatened, the matter is serious.

Liu Zipei, the heroine in the movie "Spring", just turned 16. Her good friend Jo encouraged her to bring parallel-imported mobile phones with her. Fortunately, someone reminded her that she had an epiphany in time, so she didn't get stuck in the trap. However, Li Xincao, a girl who fell into a river in Kunming and died on September 9 this year, and Jiang Ge, a Qingdao girl who died in a foreign land earlier, were not so lucky. In fact, a large part of their misfortunes are due to making bad friends and not knowing how to say no.

Maybe they had some hesitation when facing their friend's request, but because they were "friends", they still accepted it. If Li Xincao hadn't gone drinking with his roommates, and if Jiang Ge hadn't agreed to Liu Xin's request to stay temporarily, there would be two less heartbroken mothers in the world.

Therefore, parents should not only teach their children how to make good friends, but also teach their children to identify bad friends and reject their bad requests.

Don’t angrily condemn your children, and don’t blindly “beat friendships”. What should parents do?

1. Give children the courage to refuse. When faced with some bad requests from friends, children can easily have this mentality: "Although I don't want to do this, I don't want him to hate me and lose his friend..." "He only treats me as a friend." He will call me, and if he refuses, he will betray his trust in me." The feeling of unease continues to grow, and it becomes harder for the child to say no.

At this time, parents can provide some psychological counseling to their children, such as saying: "Rejection between friends is not a bad thing. If there is no rejection this time, he will come to you next time, and you will Going further and further down the wrong path

If you reject your friend, he may consider whether his behavior is correct and he will not make a mistake. Appropriate rejection will be good for both of you. ”

2. Help children identify the value of friendship through rejection. Tell your children that true friends are not afraid of rejection, but that ambiguous attitude makes friends at a loss as to what to do with each other.

If you fall out as soon as you are rejected, then it’s okay not to make friends like this, because what he values ????is not you as a person, but what you can help him.

3. Teach children how to say no. First, rejection is best the first time. If you want to refuse, you must do it as quickly as possible, because the longer it takes, the more the other party will think there is an opportunity, which will further shake your confidence in refusing.

Secondly, the shorter the reasons for rejection, the better. Don't look for a lot of reasons out of guilt. The more reasons you give for rejection, the less the other party will believe that you are really rejecting. Instead, they will think that you are trying to "negotiate terms" or "make excuses", and they will spend more effort to convince you.

4. Help the child come up with alternatives after rejection. Sometimes, just because a friend makes a bad request does not mean that he is a bad boy. If the request is unreasonable but not too excessive, parents can help find some alternatives to make up for it.

For example, if a friend wants to ask his child to skip class and play games, and the child refuses immediately if he doesn’t want to go, you can ask him to tell his friend: If he really wants to play games, he should finish his homework quickly and meet again in the evening. It’s not too late to fight.

Little things tell whether a friend is good or not, and refusing a request is a small litmus test.

The most important thing in making friends is virtue. During the Three Kingdoms period, Liu Bei told his son Liu Chan before his death: "Don't do evil because it's small, don't do good because it's small." This sentence is used to judge the character of friends. on, also very suitable.

If a child likes to do little bad things, such as always not bringing stationery but stealing his friends’ stationery; not coming home from school every day and hanging out in groups; telling lies. , often evil people complain first... Then these little "evils" gather together into a river. Even if they don't go up to the level of character, parents should try to keep their children away from them.

It is worth noting that parents must not use the quality of their children's grades as the standard for making friends with their children. Morality comes before talent, and they should not easily put the label of "bad friend" on other children.

Respect the choices of other children as well as your own children’s judgment. It’s not scary to meet bad friends. Dare to say no and stick to your principles and bottom line is the antidote.