I believe that if a friend knows well and can easily understand human nature, that is, the relationship between people, making money is definitely a little pro! ! ! ! ~~~~
Complete works of human weakness (essence edition)
Author: Carnegie
The first basic skill of interacting with people.
The so-called politeness is to adjust each other to a suitable distance.
1. If you want to collect honey, don't touch the hive (don't criticize, blame or complain about others).
That's what people do. When they do wrong, they only blame others, not themselves.
Understanding and forgiving others requires self-cultivation.
2. Appreciate others sincerely
The most profound driving force in human nature is "hope is very important".
There is only one way to make others do anything. That's what he wants.
If you want to catch a fish, you have to ask what the fish eat (think of other people's needs first)
Successful interpersonal relationship lies in your ability to capture each other's views; Also, when you look at one thing, you must take into account that you and the other person have different perspectives.
There is only one way to influence others, and that is to put forward their needs and let them know how to get them.
People who can put themselves in others' shoes and understand what others are thinking will never have to worry about the future.
The second key to peace and happiness
People who have a good mood are truly rich.
4. Be yourself (don't imitate blindly)
Now that you have come to this world, you should be glad that you are unique in this world and give full play to your talents.
Each of us is shaping our own life. If we can learn to accept ourselves, see our strengths and understand our weaknesses, we can stand firm and achieve our goals.
A big mistake that job seekers usually make is that they can't stick to their true colors. They always guess what kind of answer the other party expects, instead of directly saying what they think.
5. Change bad work habits (develop good work habits)
People have two abilities that are priceless-one is the ability to think, and the other is the ability to prioritize and handle things properly.
Happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have, it comes entirely from your thoughts.
It is much better to do things step by step than to do whatever comes to mind.
6. Learn to relax and relieve fatigue (relax yourself and eliminate fatigue)
Tension is a habit, so is relaxation.
Only hard work will not make people feel tired. Most fatigue phenomena stem from mental or emotional attitudes.
For people who are healthy and often sit and work, 100% of fatigue is due to psychological factors or what we call emotional factors.
7. Burnout leads to physical fatigue (don't be tired of things, but make them full of fun)
One of the main reasons for fatigue is burnout.
If you "pretend" to be interested in work, maybe this attitude will make your interest come true.
Talking to yourself from time to time every day can guide you to think about what is courage and happiness, and what is calm and strength; Tell yourself something you need to be grateful for every day, so that your heart will be open and you will be happy.
8. Don't think you have nothing (count your happiness, not your troubles).
There are only two goals in life: one is to pursue what you want; Second, enjoy what you pursue. Only the cleverest people can achieve the second goal.
In our life, about 90% of things are good and 10% are bad. If you want to be happy, you should focus on these 90% good things.
Be happy for everything, not worry about everything. On the bright side, this habit is better than earning 1000 pounds.
9. No one will kick the dog to death (ignore it, because no one will kick the dog to death).
In reality, the more important a dog is, the more satisfied people feel when kicking it.
Ignorant people like to find fault with big people because they can get a lot of fun from it.
10, don't let the arrow of criticism hit you (try your best to hold up an umbrella so that the rain of criticism won't hit your neck)
Although we can't avoid malicious attacks from others, we can do one very important thing: whether to let other people's attacks interfere with our normal work and life.
The only way to avoid being attacked by others is to stand gracefully on the shelf, like a precious and delicate porcelain.
How to make others like you
The only way to make friends is to be your own friend first.
1 1, learn to care about others sincerely.
If we want to make friends, we must first do something for others-things that need time, energy, consideration and dedication.
Caring for others, like other interpersonal principles, must be based on sincerity.
Only by truly caring for others can we win the attention, help and cooperation of others, even the busiest and important people.
It is impossible to make many sincere friends if you just want to attract others' attention and impress them.
12, don't forget to smile (keep smiling)
You can't fool others with a smile.
If you want others to be happy to see you, you must be happy to see others.
Everyone in the world is looking for happiness, but there is only one effective way, and that is to control their own thoughts.
Most people's happiness is similar to what they are determined to get.
13, never forget other people's names (remember other people's names, that is the sweetest and most important voice in a language).
The ability to remember names is as important in career and communication as in politics.
People attach great importance to their names, so they try their best to make them last, even at any cost.
Most people don't remember names just because they don't have the necessary effort and energy to remember other people's names. They make excuses for themselves: they are too busy.
14, learn to listen to others (be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves)
If you want to be a good talker, you must first be a good listener.
People who are always critical, even the fiercest critics, often soften and give in before a patient and compassionate audience.
If you want to know how to make others avoid you, laugh at you behind your back, or even despise you, here is the best way-never listen to others, but always talk about yourself.
15, cater to others' interests (talk about topics of interest to others)
The trick of communicating with others is to talk about what others think is the most expensive.
16, let others feel important and be sincere.
There is an extremely important rule in human behavior-always make others feel important.
Almost everyone you meet thinks that he is better than you in some places. Therefore, the best way to move their hearts is to subtly show that you really think they are important.
Talk to others about themselves and they will be willing to listen for hours.
How to make people believe you?
We are often liked for our shortcomings rather than our strengths.
17, don't argue endlessly (avoid arguing)
We can never change anyone's mind through oral struggle, regardless of their intelligence.
"Don't argue!" True salesmanship is not a debate, nor should it be similar to a debate. Debate can't change people's minds.
If you argue, strive for strength and oppose, you may sometimes win; But this kind of victory is empty, because you will never get the favor of the other side.
18, respect other people's opinions. Never say "you are wrong". )
If you point out other people's mistakes too bluntly, no matter how good your opinion is, it will not be accepted and even be greatly hurt.
When you teach people, you should act as if nothing had happened. Things are brought up unconsciously, as if they had been forgotten.
You can blame others for their mistakes with your eyes, tone of voice, or gestures, which is as powerful as verbal expression.
19. If you are wrong, admit it immediately (if you are wrong, admit it quickly and sincerely)
If we know that we will be blamed, we should take the initiative to blame ourselves. Isn't that much better than letting others accuse us? Isn't it much easier to listen to your own criticism than to endure others' scolding?
Any stupid person will try his best to defend his mistakes-most stupid people will do so-he admits his mistakes, which makes people stand out from the crowd and gives people a sense of dignity.
Fighting will never satisfy you, but giving in can get you more than you expected.
Be friendly to others (start in a friendly way)
People's minds are not easy to change. You can't force them to agree with you, but you can completely guide them, as long as you are gentle and friendly.
A drop of honey can attract more flies than a gallon of bile. If you want to win people's hearts, you must first convince others that you are the most sincere friend. It will attract his heart like a drop of honey, and there will be a peaceful way to his reason.
2 1, let the other party say "yes" (let others say "yes, yes" first)
People who know how to speak skills will get many "yes" answers at first.
Anything that can make the other person respond positively as soon as he opens his mouth is very important to your result.
When you talk to others, don't discuss what you don't agree with first, but emphasize what you agree with first-and constantly emphasize it.
The "yes" response is actually a very simple skill, but it is ignored by most people.
22. Give others a chance to talk (let them talk more)
In order to keep other people's views consistent with their own, many people often adopt a wrong strategy: talking too much.
When our friends are better than us, they will gain a sense of self-esteem; But when we hit them, they will feel inferior and arouse suspicion and jealousy.
Don't always exaggerate your achievements to others, we should be modest so that people will always like you.
Don't impose your opinion on others (let others think it's their attention)
No one likes to be promoted or forced to do something.
24. Be good at thinking from other people's point of view (sincerely try to look at the problem from the other person's point of view)
There is a certain reason why the other party has such thoughts and behaviors.
Before talking to a person, if I don't have a very clear idea about what I have to say and what he seems to answer, I'd rather walk on the sidewalk in that person's office for two hours. Instead of walking into his office.
25, sympathy for each other's wishes (sympathy for each other's thoughts and wishes)
Human beings generally pursue sympathy.
It is almost a human habit to feel "self-pity" for real or imagined misfortunes.
26, inspire others to produce a noble motivation.
Each of us idealizes ourselves in our hearts and likes to give a good explanation for our motives. Therefore, if you want to change others, you must let them have a noble motive.
27. dramatize your intentions (act out your intentions)
Truth needs us to make it more vivid, interesting and dramatic. You must use the performing arts properly.
28. Let others constantly face challenges (challenges to him)
Inspire others to have an upward spirit-a really effective method!
The way to do things is to stimulate competition. Of course, it's not infighting, but trying to win the other side.
Article 5 How to persuade others better
If two people always agree, then one of them belongs to a person who doesn't have to exist.
29. Praise and appreciate others (from sincere appreciation of praising fish)
When we hear others praise our advantages, we will naturally feel better after listening to some unpleasant words.
Long distance call, debate! Intense dialogue! It's all useless
30. Indirectly and euphemistically point out other people's mistakes.
Many people like to add the word "but" obliquely after sincerely praising others, and then start a series of criticisms.
It's gentler to raise other people's mistakes indirectly than to say them directly, and it won't cause strong resentment from others.
3 1, don't always blame others (think about your mistakes before blaming others)
Admitting a person's own mistakes-even if you haven't corrected them-can also help improve behavior.
No one likes to be told what to do (ask questions instead of orders)
Give him a sense of self-esteem so that he will always cooperate with you instead of betraying you.
Ask questions instead of orders.
33. Save others' face
Save other people's face! What an important question this is! And we seldom think about it.
Even if others make mistakes, we are right. If we don't save face for others, we will ruin a person.
34. Encourage others to succeed (praise every progress of others, even a small progress, and "sincere praise is broader than praise." )
Speaking of changing people, if you and I want to inspire the people we contact and know the wealth they have, we can do more than just change people. We can really change them.
35. Learn to "wear a top hat" (give people a good reputation and try to keep it)
If you want to improve a person in some way, you should act as if that feature is already one of his distinctive features.
Almost everyone-rich, poor, beggar, thief-keeps the reputation of honesty given to him.
36. Encourage it to be easier to correct mistakes.
If you tell your child, husband or others that he is really stupid at something, that he has no talent at something, or that he has done everything wrong … then you almost eliminate all kinds of motivation for him to make improvements. But if we use the opposite method, tolerate and encourage others, make things look easy, and let the other person know that you believe he has the ability to do it, and that he has an undiscovered talent for it-he will practice all night to win.
37. empower others
Always make the other person happy to do what you suggest.
It is human nature to gain a sense of authority.
Article 6 Make your family life happy.
Where is happiness? Happiness is a stop between too little and too little in Dachuan.
38. Don't chatter.
Many wives keep digging bit by bit, resulting in the grave of their marriage.
Of all the fires, the vicious plan to destroy love invented by the devil of hell is the most deadly. It is like the venom of a poisonous snake, which corrodes people's lives forever.
Don't try to reform each other (don't reform your spouse)
When interacting with people, the first thing we should learn is not to interfere with their own special happiness methods, if those methods do not conflict with us violently.
Don't criticize each other (don't criticize your husband or wife)
In all marriages, more than half are failures; She knows that one of the reasons why many romantic dreams hit the rocks is because of criticism-useless and heartbreaking criticism.
4 1, really appreciate each other (really appreciate each other)
Men should appreciate women's efforts to pursue beauty and dress appropriately. All men forget that if they were conscious, they would know how women pay attention to their clothes.
For many men, they may not remember what clothes and shirts they wore five years ago, and they are not interested in remembering them, but women are different.
42. Pay attention to the little things in life (pay attention to those seemingly small things)
Women attach great importance to birthdays and anniversaries, which has always been a mystery to women.
In many cases of marital breakdown, not all families can't survive because of some major events. On the contrary, most people often fail because of some small things.
Be polite within the family (be polite to your wife/husband).
Rudeness is a disaster that erodes love.
Ordinary people who are happily married are much happier than reclusive geniuses.
Every man knows that he can make his wife happy first, and then let her do anything without pay.
44. How to get along with women (learn to get along with her)
Men like the feeling of being loved, and women like you to tell her.
If you want to win a woman's heart and be willing to please yourself tirelessly forever, the best, most useful and least likely to fail is to thank and praise her wholeheartedly from time to time.
Some men may feel that showing interest in women's family affairs will damage the dignity of big men.
Being loved is an important factor for women's success, so the role that the husband plays here is very important.
45. How to get along with men (learn to get along with him)
When a man is looking for a partner, the most important thing is whether the other person has a good temper.
Men would rather eat canned food in a happy atmosphere than eat steak with a nagging, irritable and complaining woman.
It is too early to think that "changing personality" can capture a man's heart, or change a person's makeup-wearing beautiful new clothes or wearing a charming hairstyle. Men will never be hypnotized and completely forget their true colors.
46. Don't be illiterate in marriage (know some necessary sexual knowledge).
"Sex" is recognized as the most important issue in life. There is no doubt that this is the reason for the breakdown of happiness between men and women.
A happy marriage is rarely a product of opportunity. They, like buildings, must be designed reasonably and carefully.
"Sex" is just one of many kinds of satisfaction in married life, but nothing else will be appropriate unless this relationship is appropriate.
How to make yourself more mature
The road of life is made up of countless doors, depending on how you get out and how you get in.
47. Don't just kick the chair (you should bear the consequences of your actions and be responsible for your actions, not just kick the chair).
The first step towards maturity should be to dare to take responsibility.
Of course, it is much easier to blame others than to take responsibility for yourself.
For those immature people, they can always find some reasons to get rid of some of their shortcomings or misfortunes.
It is important to transform people's lives better, instead of indulging in the abyss of self-pity all day.
48. Difficulties don't mean misfortune (don't worry about difficulties, maybe it's the beginning of happiness).
Difficulties have become the best shield for those who like to evade their responsibilities.
Mature people will not fall into their own predicament, but face it bravely, accept it, and then find ways to overcome and solve it. They won't beg for mercy, they won't despair, and they won't make excuses to escape.
Immature people can always regard their differences as defects and obstacles, and then expect special treatment, while mature people are not.
49. Get rid of the misfortune in life (learn to get rid of the misfortune in life)
Life is not a smooth journey of happiness, but always swings between luck and misfortune, sinking and floating, light and darkness.
There is only one way to face misfortune-accept it. When our life is divided into pieces by unfortunate experiences, only time can pick up these pieces and heal them again.
Misfortune is not the end of the world. Sometimes, it is a catalyst for our actions, which is necessary to improve the situation. It can improve our intelligence and help us solve problems.
The best way to get rid of the shadow of misfortune is to improve yourself and help others.
50. Have your own beliefs and put them into action.
We must believe in something, but if we don't take action for this belief, everything is still useless. It's no use just having faith and not doing things.
Faith alone is not enough to make us mature. The advantage of faith is that it can increase courage. So that when we are tested, we won't get cold feet. Sometimes, there are contradictions between our actions and our beliefs.
5 1, you are unique.
The quality of excitement is an extremely important factor in the success of our work, so the motivation of emotion is the power to push us forward.
Although a person's personality can't be changed, it can be presented through certain behaviors.
The process of spiritual maturity is a process of continuous self-discovery and self-exploration.
Learn to like yourself (know and like yourself)
Mature people don't lie in bed at night and calculate their differences from others.
Pay attention to your excellent qualities, cultivate your strengths and forget your shortcomings, so that you can make continuous progress and exercise yourself. Of course, we will correct our mistakes at any time, but don't take it to heart.
As a person, perfectionists will make mistakes and fail like ordinary people. Don't be too hard on yourself.
53. Don't stick to the rules (don't blindly follow the trend)
Children like to do the same things as their peers, and they care about what their friends or peers think of them. They need to be accepted by their peers-this is the most important evidence of his existence.
When we are in a strange environment and have no previous experience to refer to, the best way is to meet the standards of ordinary people.
It is not easy to adhere to a principle that is not supported by others, or not to accommodate a principle that is generally supported.
Only when people find themselves can they understand why they came to this world, what they want to do and where they want to go in the future.
54. Don't be bored (always pay attention to those annoying actions on yourself)
Many people are always making people boring and boring. This kind of person can't say anything about sin or misconduct, but it does great harm to others.
The erratic eyes are also a warning that cannot be ignored, indicating that the other party is not interested in the current topic.
Dull speech is a symptom of personality disorder, and it is also a phenomenon that personality no longer grows.
If a person's mind is mature or continues to grow, he can discuss anything with others without getting bored.
55. Why do others like you? If you want others to like you, you must first let yourself be liked. )
Love is the foundation of human progress, the bridge for us to communicate with others and the basis for measuring a person's maturity.
The most important thing is not whether others love us or not, but whether we deserve to be loved.
Chapter 8 Getting out of Lonely and Anxious Life
Lonely people have one characteristic. They don't love others, but they don't want to accept their love.
56. Loneliness-a common problem of modern people.
If a person wants to be welcomed by others or accepted by others, he must pay a lot of efforts and costs. If we want others to like us, we really need to make some efforts.
If you want to overcome loneliness, you must stay away from the shadow of self-pity and bravely walk into the crowd full of light.
Happiness does not depend on others to give, but on yourself to win the needs and love of others.
57. Keep busy to get rid of your troubles (keep yourself busy).
Worry can hurt you the most, not when you take action, but after the day's work.
The secret of sadness is to have leisure to think about whether you are happy or not.
58. Don't be dejected and despondent over trifles (don't let yourself worry about trifles that should be put aside and forgotten).
The law doesn't care about small things. If one wants peace of mind, one should not worry about these trifles.
Accept the inevitable (don't try to change the inevitable, but try to adapt to it)
Willing to admit that this is the case. Accepting what happened is the first step to overcome any misfortune that comes with it.
When we stop confronting the inevitable facts, we can save energy and create a richer life.
60. Universal formula for relieving anxiety (be a carefree person with Carville's universal formula)
Step 1: Ask yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?"
Step 2: If you have to accept it, be prepared to accept it.
Step 3: think calmly about ways to improve the worst situation.