193 1 In the spring of, Xu Chi fell in love with a girl for the first time during his stay in yenching university. this
This girl is Shen, a female middle school student in Nankai, Tianjin. On a new moon night, they came out of yenching university.
Take a walk in a stream in Tsinghua University.
Xu Chi wrote a little poem:
It's a little moonlit night,
A thousand poets can't write a poem.
But there are a few big stars,
Dancing with the burning shadows on the water.
During the summer vacation, Xu Chi returned to Nanxun Town and washed powder in the small building at home. A poem for a distant girlfriend is from the heart.
On the letterhead:
When lying in bed,
I don't believe we are far apart,
There are three provinces,
There is a 3000-kilometer railway.
There are the Yellow River and the Yangtze River.
However, he and Shen did not develop from affection to love.
Xu Chi dropped out of school this autumn due to financial difficulties at home. Idle and bored, reading and writing poems. this
Eighteen-year-olds became loyal followers of the Muse. He began to contribute to literary journals, but he also
Not favored by editors.
When winter goes and spring comes, the grass grows and the warbler flies. Xu Chi and Gui, a girl in the second grade of Nanxun Middle School, met each other soon.
Became a couple. They play in the fields and mulberry trees outside the town and watch the river on the small bridge over the river.
Fish often linger.
But the sharp eagle eye of our camera,
But recorded the rhythm and melody of feelings,
It also recorded our galactic memory of March. In the posted landscape photos,
It is listed under the chronicle of1March 933 17.
-"On the Bridge"
In Xu Chi's eyes, Miss Gui said, "Young, warm and cheerful, she has a makeup."
A plump and white beauty. "He said," we meet once a week, and our feelings are getting stronger and stronger, every week.
Looking forward to the arrival of the next Sunday after one day, the temperature will rise a little. "
Who knows that when he confessed himself in the letter, he said that he was in contact with Shen You, which
Miss Gui resolutely left him forever; And when he told Shen the result of his return, he again
I can't get the stationery of a beautiful woman from afar.
At this time, under the double frustration of love, Xu Chi was extremely painful, and his heart was full of confusion and confusion: "Whoops!"
Oh! What's going on here? How can life be full of so many misunderstandings! I lost completely,
I lost it. How unfortunate an honest man is! Just a local saying in my hometown: once a camel falls, it doesn't fall at both ends.
Really. I feel wordless sadness. He learned a lesson from these two things: "unnecessary loyalty."
On the contrary, honesty will defeat things. "
The only thing that makes him feel gratified is that after writing poems for nearly a year, there is finally a poem called Modern.
Shi Zhecun, editor of the magazine, adopted it. He finally knocked on the door of the sacred literature hall!
1in August, 933, Xu Chi took a sum of money from home, made a false certificate, and was admitted to yenching university.
Learn to be a formal student of the English Department in Grade Three. After entering the school, he wrote poems, translated poems and wrote articles, constantly giving "Now".
Generation "contribution, and made the editor-in-chief of National News Weekly Shen Congwen.
He often goes to Yanjing Library to read and write. One day, a reader from john milton.
The girl attracted him. So he boldly wrote a letter to the female classmate named Yan Wenzhuang.
Unexpectedly, I received a reply in a small blue envelope, signed "Margaret". this
A wonderful letter surprised and delighted him. They are closely linked.
Unexpectedly, at this time, the false certificate he applied for was found out by the Yanda registration office. The school asked him to drop out of school and stay with Wu Dong.
Good contact with the university enabled him to return to Soochow University in the second year. He had to leave his girlfriend. He once said, "I
I was fascinated by Margaret's dignified beauty and rich talent. She is really talented and beautiful. All her letters have been written.
Knowledge and literary talent. So from the beginning, I had a sense of inferiority in front of her, thinking that I was determined to deserve it.
Don't fuck her. Her kindness to me is a gift to me. I dare not have any thoughts. I just want to be able to
Keeping a friendship with her in a friendly way is my extraordinary happiness and can make me die.
Give birth to worship and pray with fragrance. "
At the end of this year, Xu Chi braved the cold snow and bought a calendar with bright red roses for him.
Margaret. He also wrote a poem written on the calendar paper:
At the beginning of the new year,
Send you a calendar paper with roses.
So he put his chin on the train window,
Muttered and left the ancient city.
Young students and poets on the Beijing-Shanghai Expressway looked at the flying snowflakes through the window, lost in thought.
Say, "goodbye, my stealing lady!" " My Margaret! "
1934 In the first half of the year, when I was a sophomore in the English Department of Soochow University, I wrote poems and compositions.
He has published works in Modern Times, Contradiction, Times Pictorial and New Fiction. Get to know each other.
Wang Xipeng, Pan Zinong, Xu Suling, Guo Jianying, Du Heng, Ye Lingfeng, Mu Shiying, Liu Naou and others. school term
Before the end, he suddenly announced that he would not take the exam because he felt that he was already a writer and his family was in financial difficulties.
Difficult, decided to drop out of school automatically, so as to save some money for my brother to finish school in Tsinghua.
Xu Chi dropped out of school and returned to Nanxun Town, his hometown. He was hired as a teacher by the headmaster of Nanxun Higher Primary School to teach the sixth grade.
Chinese, English and music.
This year 10 is his twentieth birthday. On this day, Xu Chi received an unexpected birthday present: two cans made in Britain.
At that time, it was the most advanced cigarette, and his monthly salary was 15 yuan. He didn't even dare to think about it.
Miss. After reading the note below the cigarette case, I know that this cigarette was sent by the same unmarried female teacher, Wang Xiaoyun.
His.
As beautiful as Gui, plump, with red lips and big eyes, she is better than Gui.
Mature. However, she only knew that Xu Chi had received her gift, but she didn't know that there was another one that attracted Xu Chi.
Female-Tu Minhe, a student of Friends of Art class. Besides, they have been secretly in love with each other.
Faced with Wang Xiaoyun's intervention, Xu Chi felt embarrassed. He must make a clear choice between two people.
So for the first time, he made an appointment with Tu Min to meet in the fish pond behind the school. It happened to be seen by Wang Xiaoyun, which made it
Wang Xiaoyun was suddenly covered with autumn frost. As soon as the semester ended, she transferred to another school to teach, and Xu Chi was broken.
The relationship is established. Xu Chi's pursuit of Tu Minhe is even tighter. /kloc-in early February, he got the manuscript fee.
I immediately went to the satin shop and selected two silk fabrics with elegant patterns and soft colors, and gave them to Tu Minhe personally.
Xu Chi's mother, Tao Lianya, learned that her son was in love with Tu's daughter, so she asked Qing, vice president of the Town Chamber of Commerce.
Uncle, go to Tu's house to intercede for him. Xu Chi said disapprovingly, "Since I am in love with her, it depends on whether she loves me or not.
As long as she loves me, she has to ask her family if they agree or disagree! "Mother shook her head and said," I guess you hope.
There is little hope. The Tu family is a big family and much richer than us. "Sure enough, TuFu with two inappropriate.
Yes, I turned down the relatives and friends of the Xu family. He is very depressed and often goes to bars to drown his sorrows. However, he
There is still a glimmer of hope in my heart: "As long as Min and I are willing to combine, no one can stop her!
One Sunday morning, near Xunzhong basketball court. Xu Chi and Tu Min sat side by side watching the game.
Sitting on a bench, talking in a low voice.
"Is your lifelong event your own, or should your family make decisions for you?" He asked.
The quiet, shy and gentle girl just flashed her head and let her long black hair cover her.
Face.
Seeing that she didn't answer, he forced him to ask further: "Answer me, is it up to you or your family?"
Tu Min looked sad, but kept silent. I heard Xu Chi ask twice before answering, "How could I?"
Can you decide for yourself? "
"Alas," Xu Chi smell speech with a sigh. He thinks they can fly away if she wants,
Leave the cage of feudal family. Now there is nothing she can do for herself. What else can she do? At the age of twenty,
I was hit by Cupid's arrow again. Besides drinking the wine from Xiangzhai to drown my sorrows, I have to write poems to express my feelings. He is Tu Minhe.
Wrote one poem after another with the fragrance of love, such as:
Your hair is a fence,
When you smile shyly,
Zizhu became a family there.
-"Women's Love Fence"
Many poems contain the feelings of the people he loves, such as:
My hometown used to be a forest, and wooden boats lived in blue sky and clear water.
My hometown once lost my love in the old moral law.
When I fled my hometown,
Silkworms feed on mulberry leaves,
And gossip about my love affair is everywhere.
-"hometown"
1935 spring and summer, he spent it under the control of "more painful" mood. He still loves
Tu Minhe met her and wrote poems for her; Tu Minhe also copied and arranged poems for him. However, this lady
Xiu can't control his own destiny. There is "love without communication" between them, as Xu Chi said, "the knot."
Fruit can only be separated and go our separate ways. "
In recent years, some young women have approached him on their own initiative, and he is unwilling to accept it. One is what I said earlier.
One is a female teacher at the same school, the other is a girl named Tian introduced by his good friend Jin, and the other is.
Jin Yuan lives in a dormitory with Wang Xiuyun. He once played Tu Min in Beloved and Yuan Mu with Huang Jinyuan later.
A woman and a dog. Their performance was a great success. Xu Chi recalled this in his later years.
She wrote: "We cooperated well during the performance, but she never paid much attention to me after the performance. And I don't want to talk to
She will keep in touch. It's really a bad thing. Letting go when it is easy to catch has been proved hopeless.
Yes, I am wishful thinking, reluctant to leave. My love always makes me sensitive. "
A few months later, Xu Chi fell in love again.
In September this year, he became a teacher in Nanxun Middle School, and also taught Chinese, English and music. Every day after school,
I often pass by the higher primary school where I used to teach. He found that there was a female teacher who taught music and art in the school, and
I knew her name was Hu Wenqin, so I knew her and got together.
Hu Wenqin is a native of Wuxi, young and beautiful, with bright eyes, enthusiasm and cheerfulness. From the dialogue, Xu Chi learned
Until her father was China's ambassador to Spain. She can paint oil paintings and play the piano. At Xu Chi's home, she is nearby.
Moda. Finch's famous painting Mona Lisa. The song "Eternal Smile" brought new love to Xu Chi.
One day, Xu Chi talked to her about whether they could get engaged. She said that she would go back to discuss with her parents during the winter vacation.
Measure it. Hearing this, his heart suddenly sank: does the daughter of this new family have to ask the family?
Near the Spring Festival, he received a letter from Hu Wenqin. The letter said that her mother knew about his family, and there was no difference.
Meaning. This letter full of diplomatic rhetoric annoyed him. He thought: although your family has money, it may not be much. Compare with me.
This family with nothing must be better, or much better. That's good, because you don't have it at home.
I agree, and you yourself didn't express your opposition to the family's disagreement, so I understand. I see! Eileen Hu
Jean, I abandoned you in my heart from now on, without any hesitation. Don't blame me. Your home
With furniture, you will naturally find a suitable family. I don't deserve you! And don't blame me. that is
Make everything you can satisfy me, and here.
You can't satisfy me on this point. You can't abandon your family, so you can't get my love, even.
Let alone friendship.
Such a thought, Xu Chi's heart is much calmer and more calm. Think again: can you make friends like this?
My friend is in love, so I should work. It was 1936 1 month, and he devoted himself to writing poems and novels.
Prose and translation of foreign literature. Write and write for a day and a night, and the room is full of smoke. He reads when he stops writing.
Books, reading one literary book after another, aesthetic books, music books, or enjoying records.
One can't help it, and Xu Chi is no exception. In February this year, he devoted himself to writing a book.
However, I feel a little lonely, and his heart longs for the sunshine and rain of love. One morning, he
On the playground of middle school, I suddenly saw his student Chen Song and was immediately shocked. This is the girl he has seen.
The most beautiful. In particular, Chen Song's laughter is like a string of golden bells and a fairy who loves music.
Touched his heartstrings. "It's like a pianist holding grand piano's keyboard, a grip is a lot.
Once played, arpeggios are a series of vibrato. Laughter shook the whole field, flowing water and clear sky, it was
Joy is endless. Xu Chi said, "The wonderful music of laughter makes people's pores clear and even the air flows.
Infected by joy. "He bought a new diary specially to write down the situation of playing with Chen Song this morning.
Scene, and quickly to "sixty-four notes" as the topic, write a charming poem praising the beauty of Chen Song's laughter.
In the next ten days, Xu Chi wrote his love for her in his diary, which became hotter every day.
On the eleventh night, Chen Song came to see him, and he gave her the diary. She read and read.
His face was covered with red clouds, and his sparkling eyes whispered, "I didn't know you were like this."
Yes "Xu Chi asked," what do you think? "She said she didn't dare to think so, but she was very willing to see him.
The two walked round and round along the runway of the school playground in the dusk. Then, he took her to see his assistant.
In the small building, there is a breath of spring in the air at this time. It was dark all around. " Xu Chi wrote, "I
Suddenly grabbed her by the shoulder, pushed her against the wall, and then gave her a good kiss. I have never been so excited.
Mood, so I have never experienced it, and I have never experienced such ecstasy since then. People,
You can only kiss once in your life. "This kiss is a kiss he will never forget. He said:
"When my burning lips pressed against hers, the wall was stable at first, and then
No, it seems that all the stars in the sky have fallen, or spun away. The two of us are burning with flames, fire
The outbreak of flame burned everything. This is my only kiss. This is a sacred kiss, this is a promise kiss.
Getting such a kiss should be my rare happiness beyond others. When we regain consciousness, then
When our lips are apart, we don't need to say anything. We will never be apart. "
He firmly believes that he and Chen Song "will never be separated", not just because of "sacred kiss" and "commitment"
Kiss ",but also because Chen Song, a 17-year-old girl, is absolutely different from the girl he always liked before.
At this moment, he said to Chen Song, "Your uncle came to see me to propose marriage. I said I would ask.
Do you listen to your family or yourself? Chen Song answered him frankly: "I am my own master." .
Yes "Xu Chi said happily," That's ... Great, great! You are your own master, listen to yourself.
Own. That's very kind of you, thank you! "
At the beginning of March, 1936, Xu Chi and Chen Song posted an engagement notice in Nanxun Weekly at Yifengyuan Restaurant.
I set two tables of wine and hosted a banquet for the close relatives of the two families, their friends and classmates.
After the engagement, Xu Chi learned about the family situation of his fiancee Chen Song and realized that Chen Song's father was a
"A man without conscience", after her mother learned that her husband had an "affair" in Shanghai and had a new home, she once
Suicide failed several times. Therefore, Chen Song's three brothers and sisters have been struggling with their mother for months. Later, they
Sever contact with my father completely.
After their engagement, the love between Xu Chi and Chen Song went through another severe test. That is his family in town.
When a rich boy named Mei was a tutor, Miss Mei, 28, took a strong liking to him.
Interest, often looking for opportunities to get close to him, sometimes leaning on his shoulder, sometimes jumping into his arms. He can't
He said to her with a straight face, "I have a lover." I am engaged. I'm engaged, but I can't
So casual. However, Miss Meier said coquetry, "What are you afraid of when you are engaged? Cancel if you say cancel! "
Xu Chi had to take an excuse to ask for leave. A few days later, Mr. Mei's financial supervisor managed to drag him to Mei's house and invite him to dinner.
He pushed into Miss Mei Er's boudoir while drinking. exist
The aunt in the room made an excuse to go out, locked the door, locked him in the room, and Miss Meier was lying in bed.
Teacher Mei motioned him to sit down by the bed and said sadly, "Don't come to class, I'm sick. I don't think you know.
You think too much. I think you are sick. "
"Miss Mei ..." He said.
"Call me May." She interrupted him.
"Well, maybe. But you can't think like that. What am I worth thinking about? You get better quickly, I
I'm still coming to give you a lesson. "He said.
"I don't want you to give me a lesson. It doesn't matter whether you go to class or not. I want you to know my heart. "
"Oh, it's too late."
"It's nothing too late! Didn't I tell you that I don't care which one loves you, even if
You have made a reservation.
Marriage can also be terminated. If you ask your uncle Yi Tang to come to my house to propose marriage, the family will certainly agree. You just-
cancel a contract
That's good. When the two of us go abroad and go to the United States together, the travel expenses and living expenses will not be a problem. "
Seeing his silence, she reached out and put his hand on her chest and said, "Listen to my heart,
How hard you jump.
Hurt! , "
Xu Chi tried to retract her hand, but she refused to let go. He muttered, "Miss Mei ..."
"Call me May." She closed her eyes and pleaded softly.
"May." He didn't know what to say further. He gritted his teeth, stood up and resolutely walked out.
Reason finally overcame temptation. Later, when I learned about Chen Songgu, I was "scared for a long time and couldn't control myself."
Himself. "Because Chen Song's father is also a governess of a capitalist family in Shanghai, and whether he is married or not.
I lost my child and fell in love with that group.
He said: "It is a good thing to think that I can restrain myself from falling in love with Mei. Otherwise, I will
Stabbing Chen Song with a knife will plunge her into the abyss of perseverance and make her and her mother hold eternal hatred, both of them will.
Slowly died. "For the sake of privacy,
Xu Chi never told Chen Song that he had learned a lesson: unnecessary loyalty would lead to failure.
1936 10 Xu Chi's first collection of poems, The Man of Twenty, is regarded as a new collection of poems edited by Shao.
The first episode of The Ninth Kind, published by Shanghai Times Book Company; 1 1 month, his second "Sketch of Traditional Chinese Opera" also
Appeared in the Commercial Press.
However, Cupid never seems to let him rest. This autumn, he met Shen, she
Black curly hair hangs like shavings on the shoulders and nape of the neck, which is really beautiful. These two
He was deeply attracted by the lithe posture of female college students in grade two and the gentle charm of oriental women. "Her beauty.
It is an intellectual beauty, a bright beauty and a poetic beauty. "They started correspondence and then had a holiday.
Dating, watching the sunset on the Bund, eating in a floating restaurant ... The first thing that reminds Xu Chi is his good friend Dai Wangshu.
He said, "Don't forget that you are engaged." His third cousin also warned him:
"Don't let that girl tie your heart with a few locks of hair." These suggestions cleared his head.
When he woke up, he realized that he had to control his feelings. He called Shen there and said, "If I change,
Heart, I am just an unworthy person.
I can't see you anymore. Shen told him on the phone, "You can't come, no way.
Come on, but you can never come to me again. "In this way, Xu Chicai holding bridled horse at the edge of the cliff.
There is one of his poems in the issue of New Poetry 1936 l 1. Xu Chi said, "He is one of us.
Remember a faithful record of a Sunday. ..... In the poem, our love and life are integrated, mainly
This is her painting, her image. "
Temptation, again and again, made Xu Chi wake up: "I should get married. I'm not ungrateful, but
Another ungrateful person. I must get married. I must get married. "At the age of 23, he found true love.
An engaged woman with a steady income and a lot of money, it's time to get married.
In February, with the consent of his mother, he went to Nanxun to see Chen Song. At this time, Chen Song was still in primary school.
Second grade. Her brother, Chen Mingde, asked Xu Chi, "Chen Song is too young. He is only over seventeen. It's time to study and get married."
I'm afraid I can't read when I get married. "He quickly replied," going to school is not a problem. I have been teaching in a middle school.
Cao Weifeng, a friend of the director, agreed. We can get married in the future, but I hope she can go to Shanghai with me and stay with me.
Home, school, it doesn't matter, brother and sister got married in a year or two. "Chen Mingde asked again," What about you?
Is this person reliable? Can he always love my sister, be loyal to her and never change his mind? "Xu Chi confessed after listening.
Quietly replied: "I have been in love many times, and the final choice is Chen Song. I love your sister and I will be loyal. "
For your sister. "Chen Song's brother finally agreed with satisfaction. He said: "As long as my sister is willing, I am willing.
Never interfere. I wish you happiness! "
1 month 1937, Xu Chi and Chen Song got married. Since then, the two have been in love for a long time.
Old.