The most eye-catching aspect of women’s wisdom is their communicative charm. So, what exactly is the communicative charm of women, and how should it be demonstrated?
1. Appropriate grooming
The art of dressing up for women is not simply applying makeup or wearing high-end perfume, but the overall conception and harmony of one's own image. It is a kind of self-confidence and elegance, and the externalization of personality. . Being decent and natural, dressing up just right is a firm grasp of yourself and the control of social situations.
Women’s physical beauty is a major feature that is superior to men. Therefore, on appropriate occasions, try to reduce the layers of clothing to reveal your graceful figure. Of course, if you have a poor figure, you should be clever at hiding it. Pay attention to some places that most people neglect to beautify, which can better show your special beauty.
When attending a dance, among the many costumes of strong colors, pursue a subtle and elegant dress. Dressing with simplicity and elegance will have a certain charm. It can be said to be "wrapped in red and plain, especially charming."
Women’s hairstyles and headwear are a “holy place” that can make people’s eyes brighten. Hairstyles that are natural, relaxed and consistent with the natural face shape, body shape, age and occupation can bring out a woman's look and grace.
Relatively speaking, women’s appearance is more important than men’s, and it attracts more attention from both the same sex and the opposite sex. The role of female grace in communication cannot be ignored.
2． Give people a natural smile
Smile is a flower on the lips. A woman's smile is the best letter of introduction, and it is a perfect example of a kind-hearted person. It conveys enthusiasm and brings warmth. A natural smile can shorten the distance between you and the other person and is a conductor of communication. Smiling to strangers shows your easygoingness; smiling to those who offend you shows your tolerance; smiling to those who love you shows your admiration; smiling to those around you shows your adaptability to the living environment.
In social activities, when an awkward situation arises, you can use your smile to dilute the tense atmosphere, gain room for maneuver, and seize the initiative in communication; when a situation forces you to appear, At this time, a kind smile is a kind of "power", and it is also the best buffer solution to relax your nerves, think positively, and conquer the other party.
3. Show the charm of self-introduction
A woman's self-introduction is the "opening" that fully demonstrates her communicative charm. Having a beautiful appearance and a proper self-introduction is a successful self-promotion and will make people want to associate with you. When introducing yourself, you must first have full confidence and self-esteem. Secondly, you must impress people with the right posture, voice, and expression.
When introducing your name, your voice should be clear and clear, and not too fast. At the same time, a cheerful expression makes it easier for people to make a good first impression. Even if you make a slight mistake during the introduction, a smiling expression will help you get rid of the awkwardness.
4． Show good posture
Having an elegant sitting posture can express a woman's dignity, stability, and generous characteristics. It is another embodiment of women's beauty. When sitting, keep your shoulders steady and relaxed, and your legs should be in a flowing shape. Do not spread your legs apart or cross your legs. Keep your back straight and do not rock back and forth. This will give people a demure and reserved aesthetic feeling.
Women who are good at listening to others give people the impression of respecting others and being polite. When listening to others speak, nod slightly from time to time, look at the other person sincerely, and interject appropriately, such as inserting some words and exclamations such as "um", "really good", "really?", "awesome!", etc., so that The other person will happily continue the conversation and will also take you seriously.
5. Show gentleness
In daily life, many people like the enthusiasm and thoughtfulness of "eldest sister". The reason why they are called big sisters is obviously because they often pour their feelings into communication, and kindness and gentleness have become the core of the image of "big sisters".
Gentleness and kindness are female traits. Gentle and kind-hearted women often exude a strong fragrance of emotion and release powerful magnetism that attracts people.
"Long live friendship" is a lofty goal for people, but it is not easy to achieve the goal. Many people are not good at handling the relationship with their friends, and as a result, the friendship dies prematurely, or even lasts for decades. Friendships were also destroyed. Years or even decades of hard work have been wasted, and it’s painful to learn from it! Therefore, knowing some tips for maintaining friendships can help you live a life with less regrets.
1. Don’t rely too much on your friends
When you are in trouble, talk to your friends and listen to their suggestions; when you encounter problems, discuss them with your friends and find a solution; if you have financial difficulties, Asking capable friends to lend a helping hand; etc., these are all possible. But we must not forget that our friend also has his own things to do, he also has various problems to solve, and he will also encounter financial difficulties and need help. If you only consider the problem from your own point of view and rely too much on your friends, if this happens too often, your friends will gradually leave you, because the friendship between you has become a burden to him, making him overwhelmed, and he will only Can escape every day.
2． Don't transfer liability risks to friends
Some people often have an incorrect concept that "if you are a friend, you should help." Therefore, this kind of thing often happens, and you ask your friends to be the introducers. Even the matters of a third party are taken over and asked to be helped by friends, and oneself gain favor from them. In fact, no matter how close your friends are, you must carefully consider not to shift the responsibility to your friends, because it is difficult for friends to refuse due to human feelings. If they refuse, the friendship between the two will be ended. Therefore, when asking a friend for help, you must think carefully and think about it from the friend's perspective to see if it will involve the friend taking some risks.
3. The closer the relationship, the more boundaries we need to set
Some friends who are relatively close are so "hot" with each other that they don't differentiate between you and me, and even use the canteen meal tickets together, but this seems to be the case. Neither lasts long. It was easy to part ways quickly. Why? It's because I don't pay enough attention to boundaries. In fact, the closer the relationship, the more important it is to pay attention to principle boundaries. There are three principle boundaries that must not be crossed:
First, speaking ill of a friend in front of others is tantamount to betraying a friend.
The second is having an ambiguous relationship with a friend's lover (or husband or wife). As the saying goes, "a friend's wife should not be deceived."
The third is borrowing money from friends and failing to repay them, which is tantamount to blackmailing friends.
4． Keep friends absolutely confidential
It is said that the first rule for Americans to make friends is to "keep each other secret." Whether this is considered the first rule or not, it is indeed an important one for maintaining friendship. The rule of thumb, especially for close friends, is that they won’t talk about anything, and even their privacy and shameful things they have done may be known to you. If you tell them about it, it will be like putting your friend to death. When a friend tells you his "privacy", even if he doesn't ask you to keep it secret, it shows his extreme trust in you. In this regard, you only have the obligation to share his worries and relieve them, but you have no right to publicize this "privacy". If you make it public, you will definitely lose the trust of your friends. In the future, people will no longer dare to tell you their "privacy". If it is an unintentional "leakage", then there are excusable reasons. If you explain it carefully to your friends, you can also gain their understanding. If you deliberately show off and use being a "little broadcaster" as your ability, then you don't even have the most basic morals as a human being.
5. Think about your friends in small things
Friendship can last forever. Not only do you put yourself in your friend's shoes to relieve your worries on some major things, but you can also consider some small things very thoughtfully, making the other person feel that "only friends can will do it”. For example, if a friend from out of town calls you a long-distance phone call, because they haven't contacted each other for a while, they must have a lot to say. If the other party hangs up the phone at home, try to talk about the most important things, and don't let them talk about it. The call time is too long; or if your financial situation is better than the other party, let the other party hang up and let you make the call. For another example, when a friend helps to buy air tickets, train tickets or something on your behalf, it is best to send the money there first. Even if it cannot be delivered in advance, you must bring it with you when you pick up the things.
Only when you handle many trivial and small things well will the other person feel that you, a friend, care about others no matter what, and you will pay more attention to the friendship between you.
6． Make up for the cracks in time
Some small cracks may appear between friends. If they are repaired in time, they can prevent them from getting worse. On the contrary, if left unchecked, small rifts can become large chasms and eventually the friendship will be broken.
(1) Be proactive and sincere. No matter what the reason is or who is responsible, since there is a rift in the friendship. Don't think that taking the initiative to reconcile is a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it can only prove your sincerity in friendship. Just waiting for the other person to come to you and apologize without any sign of taking the initiative to repair it can only show your lack of sincerity in friendship. At the same time, only superficial initiative without actual actions, barely coping, or hypocritical words and deeds just to show others will not only fail to work, but will further damage the "emotions" between friends.
(2) Timely and appropriate. Sometimes friendship rifts are caused, and the other party needs a time to think calmly, reflect over and over again, and calm down. In this case, you can ask another good friend to understand the other person's emotions and current situation. Of course, he will also do some coordination work at the same time. But we can't put it off again and again. Over time, the cracks may be irreparable.
(3) Be patient and meticulous. You cannot think that you have done what you should do after you have taken the initiative to repair it once or twice. If the other party has not made a good response or has not reached your ideal process, you will think that you have done your best and even your self-esteem has been hurt. , so he became angry and angry, which will make all the desire to "make up for it" vanish into smoke.
Establish a good first impression
1. If you want to please others, you must first like them
It is easy for us to judge the person we meet for the first time based on the previous perspective, such as "He may have difficulty communicating" or "He may be a friendly person." people". Usually, we choose to get close to someone or stay away from someone based on our intuitive judgment; of course, we don't express it with words, but our actions often reveal our secrets. For example, if you see an unattractive person, you feel disgusted in your heart, so you avoid talking to him. Although you don't say anything, your attitude can make the other person guess a thing or two.
If you want to interact with others, you should first trust others and like others. Otherwise, others will not like you. Everyone has shortcomings and advantages. If you can pay more attention to the advantages of others and be less picky about the shortcomings, you will definitely find that the other person is not as bad as you thought. You will naturally start to like the other person and your attitude will become kind; in this way If you are restrained, others will naturally like you and feel that you are someone they can talk to.
2. Take the initiative to say hello to others B//
When we meet others for the first time, we will all feel defensive. The best way to eliminate this tense relationship is to open up and say hello to others. , otherwise both parties will remain silent, and they will always be just strangers.
There is a woman who doesn’t like to stay quietly in the corner of a party. Therefore, every time she is at a party, she will always be seen busily walking among the crowd, catching strangers chatting about everyday things. Get food for them, play positions, etc. Because she takes the initiative to greet others, she makes others feel friendly towards her, and even shy people will naturally come to chat with her.
Everyone has a self-centered personality. When meeting others for the first time, they are always reluctant to speak first. Instead, they expect the other person to speak. If you can understand this simple psychology, take the initiative to say hello to others. , will definitely impress others on you.
3. Greeting others with a pleasant mood can win a good impression
Once I went to a department store to buy gifts for friends. I stood in front of the counter for a long time and saw no service staff. When I finally found the waiter who was having a lively chat with a colleague, I saw her asking impatiently: "Which style do you want?" Although I liked that leather bag very much, I still left empty-handed because she left it for me. The impression was very bad.
The same words are used to greet guests, but a friendly and pleasant greeting will make the customers happy and make you a crowded place; on the contrary, a bad attitude will leave you empty. The same is true in our daily lives. If you greet others with a long face and a heavy tone, it will definitely make the other person feel that you are saying hello out of helplessness and create a sense of rejection towards you; on the contrary, a pleasant and cheerful tone and Your expression will make the other person like you and be willing to talk to you. So, being open-minded and speaking pleasantly will make a good first impression on others.
4． Beginning with pleasantries can shorten the distance
Two people meeting for the first time, because they don’t know each other well, can easily fall into an embarrassing situation with nothing to say. At this time, you might as well start with some pleasantries. Questions such as "The weather seems to be getting hotter!" or "What have you been busy with recently?" can help you shorten the distance between you and others.
Although most of these pleasantries are meaningless, it is precisely because of these words that people who meet for the first time avoid embarrassing silence. The following are some methods for your reference:
(1) Let’s start with the weather.
(2) Ask about the other party’s work, physical condition, etc. For example, "Are you busy with work these days?...'The graduation exam is about to begin!...'You look good." etc.
(3) Start with the other party’s actions. For example, when you see the other person getting off work, you can say "It's time to get off work!" etc.
The use of pleasantries is like a key to opening the conversation box, which can help you have a smooth conversation with others. But there are a few points you must pay attention to:
(1) Choose appropriate greetings. There is a joke: Once upon a time there were two good friends A and B. Once B offended A, the two fell into a cold war. Two days later, B felt that he was sorry for A, so he decided to apologize to A. That day, B met A on the road and hurriedly walked up to him with a smile and said, "Are you full?" When A heard this, he pointed at B angrily and said, "You knew that I just came out of the hut, but you asked me if I had enough. Aren't you trying to make fun of me?" From then on, A and B never interacted with each other.
Of course, this is just a joke, but it is likely to happen in our daily lives. Therefore, when using greetings, you should match the time and occasion. So as not to be self-defeating.
(2) Add your own opinions in the pleasantries. Small talk is the beginning, opening up the topic for you, but to maintain the continuation of the conversation, you must add your own opinions to the small talk.
For example, the weather is very refreshing today, and you say to others: "The weather is really comfortable today." If the other person replies: "Yes!" then you must add some of your own opinions, such as: "I wonder if you would like to go outside for a walk?" Use the other party's opinion to continue the conversation.
5. Don't Ignore the Silent
Some people are shy and introverted by nature and always keep their mouths shut at parties or in public places and do not talk to others. At this time, we should take the initiative to talk to them. Maybe you will think that talking to them is very tiring. You say something and they answer something. At this time, you might as well make the other party the center of the conversation, for example, "I heard that you have learned piano since you were a child. I believe you must be very good at playing it." "Do you have any interesting and impressive stories while learning piano?" These topics can make the other party feel that Friendly and easier to talk to. Waiting until the other person is completely relaxed will allow the conversation to flow naturally and happily.
6. When you meet someone for the first time, you should learn about the other person in advance
No one who has met Roosevelt has not admired his vast knowledge and knowledge. A person who visited him once said: "Whether the visitor is a cowboy, a brave cavalry member, a politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt can find a topic suitable for the other person's identity, making the conversation very enjoyable." Why was Roosevelt able to chat happily with everyone he met for the first time? The reason is simple. Whenever someone comes to visit, Roosevelt will check the relevant information of the person concerned the night before, so whether the visitor is a dignitary or a trafficker, both parties can have the same topic during the meeting.
Before participating in an important event, if there are people you have never met before, you must first check some information about the other party or ask others about the other party to get a preliminary understanding. When you ask questions, the other person will like you and be willing to talk to you because you have some understanding of his or her expertise. Of course, maybe you won’t use all the information you prepared, but it at least shows your respect for the other person.
Therefore, before talking to someone you meet for the first time, you should be prepared in advance and use various methods flexibly to win the favor of others during the conversation. This is also one of the skills in the art of speaking.
7. Even if the other person's words are boring, listen patiently
When you meet someone for the first time, it is likely that the scene becomes cold due to a lack of deep understanding and a lack of common topics. But if the other person is talking enthusiastically about something he or she finds interesting, even if you find it boring, you should smile and listen.
Maybe you don’t know much about tennis, and the other person happens to have some experience in it, so he starts to introduce you and tell you some interesting things on the court. At this point you may find the conversation boring because you have no interest in it. But you can't show impatience at this time. You should listen to him patiently to avoid making the other party feel frustrated and refuse to talk to you again.
If you really can't accept the other person's topic, you might as well wait until the other person reaches a paragraph and then cleverly change the topic to avoid causing embarrassment to the other person.
Everyone is interested in different topics. When you feel that other people’s words are boring, it is likely that you will give others the same feeling. Therefore, in order to leave a good impression on others, you should use your speaking skills flexibly to make the other party feel that you are a good conversation partner.
8. A natural and lively self-introduction leaves a deep impression
Meeting unfamiliar people usually starts with self-introduction or introduction by others, so an impressive self-introduction is necessary. When most people introduce themselves, they often pronounce their name vaguely or hand out a business card and end it hastily. In fact, this is a waste of an excellent opportunity to create a good impression. The stronger your ability to introduce yourself, the more interested others will be in your conversation, so you should be good at seizing opportunities to introduce yourself. When introducing yourself, the following two points can be used for your reference. (1) Introduce the name clearly. The name represents a person's uniqueness in the gathering place, so when introducing the name, the other person should be informed of the correct pronunciation and writing method.
(2) Briefly introduce your background, hobbies and interests, etc. If you just introduce your name, the information conveyed to the other party will be too little, making it impossible for the other party to find a topic to talk to you. Therefore, after introducing your name, you can simply add some personal information so that the listener can get to know you better. and get more information talking to you. For example, "I like to do outdoor sports." "Really? I like it too. So what kind of sports do you do most?" "Looking for a ball, jogging." In this way, the two people started talking happily.
When introducing yourself, you might as well talk more about yourself to reduce the sense of strangeness between the two parties.
9. Elegant conversation makes people feel happy
Elegant conversation is like a neat appearance, which makes people feel very happy. If you can get used to using elegant words, even if you occasionally make a joke or say some witty words, the other person will still be able to sense your inner cultivation and temperament, and be happy to talk to you.
On the contrary, if you behave sloppily and speak foul language, it will make the other party think that talking to you is hard work or even a waste of time. Therefore, you should practice conversation skills and elegant manners on weekdays to leave a good impression on the other party.
10． When the other party is speaking, lean in to show your concern
The advancement of technology and the busyness of life have made answering machines more and more common. However, many people often hang up as soon as they hear the sound of the answering machine. Even if you are on the phone and leaving a message for something urgent, it will feel very boring. The reason is that you hate talking to a machine, because the machine cannot meet the needs of people to expect the other party to respond when talking.
When we are talking to others, we should think about the above examples. We should not let the other person feel like talking to a machine and feel that words are boring. Avoiding this kind of situation does not require superb speaking skills, but just pay a little attention to your behavior and reactions to make the other party feel friendly. For example, "Look the other person directly in the eyes and give a slight nod or smile at the right time to express agreement; or lean forward at the beginning of the conversation to show that you are paying attention to what the other person is saying. These small actions only take a few moments Paying attention can make the other person continue to talk to you with interest.
One thing you must pay attention to is: when looking directly at the other person or leaning forward to express concern, it is appropriate, otherwise it will cause pressure on the other person. Instead, it creates a barrier to conversation.
11. Find pleasant topics.
Find pleasant conversation techniques to quickly establish a good relationship with the other person when you first meet. Topics are also one of the methods. “No one likes a depressed person, no one wants to hear you talk about your dark fate, and no one hates hearing bad news! "\/Some people often say "This world will collapse" or "I have experienced a lot of unforgettable pain." Such pessimistic people cannot gain good popularity. (If you have some worries or hopes To comfort yourself, you'd better say these words to a pastor, a psychologist, or a friend you trust and have a close relationship with. Don't start pouring out the bitterness in your heart when you meet someone. This will not only fail to arouse the other person's passion. *Crying will only increase the resentment of others.
When talking to people you are not familiar with, it is best to choose a more relaxed and pleasant topic, so that the conversation can unfold naturally and smoothly. After all, heavy topics It makes everyone feel depressed, and controversial topics can easily lead to conflicts and unhappiness. Social occasions should be a pleasant place for people to relax physically and mentally. It is the wisest move to choose relaxed topics that can enhance the atmosphere. The other party is not a close friend. Just skip it. Relaxation is the key.