I can only say that you are very simple, very cute and simple, but also a bit silly. It can’t be helped because you are only 19 years old and have not had much life experience.

"I really wonder if God is deliberately teasing me like this?" I can tell you, this is not the case, because many people will go through this test, and it mostly occurs during development and growth, because at this time , not only is the body growing, but people's thinking patterns are also changing, and they will make self-analysis of their surroundings, and the problems you listed appear more in more reserved people.

Actually, I think human simplicity is very precious. When you are as sophisticated as those businessmen on TV, you will feel that simplicity is valuable, because at that time, it is difficult for you to You know that what that person said is true and what that person said is false. The reason why you view yourself this way now is that you believe that others’ views of you are true. Also, you don’t have a standard for self-evaluation. This It’s all about the experience I mentioned at the beginning.

Your second and third questions

” 2. It may be due to the influence of the learning environment since childhood (very conservative thinking) that I rarely (almost never) talk to the opposite sex (except when something happens) , now that I am 20 years old, it is very unnatural to chat (face to face) with the opposite sex (especially those of the opposite sex who are more outgoing and mature than myself)

3. I don’t dare to chat with multiple members of the opposite sex in person. Talking loudly (greeting) in many places "

This is also a simple manifestation. Nowadays, people who blush when seeing the opposite sex are very small, and it also shows that you have insufficient love experience (I guess you have not been in love at all) Yes, right?) Girls are very popular with people like this, so don’t think this is bad.

Also, in your first question, you said you have "inner shadows" but you didn't mention it, so I can't prescribe the right medicine. Maybe your thinking is not only due to your personal growth issues, but also because of this "shadow". No matter what the reason is, please remember that "no one is perfect", but "I am born to be useful", it depends on whether you have confidence in yourself.

Attitude determines everything, character determines destiny, and human mentality determines the way we act. Try to appreciate yourself and accept yourself. Only in this way will you feel that others will accept you, because if you even If you don’t accept yourself, when you look at the attitude of others towards you, you will generally think it is bad. For example, you say, “Every time you meet someone you know when walking on the street (not very familiar/need to say hello/especially People who pay a little attention to the important points) are very afraid of being nervous (to the point of being a little panicked). "Perhaps that person originally wanted to greet you happily, but when he saw you like this, he lost his mood, and instead Walk away silently, and you think that he may just do it because he has an opinion about you.

Really, try to appreciate yourself, even celebrities, they only look good from a certain angle, everyone is the same, find your highlights, don’t bury him, treat him like this Too cruel.