Hakka wedding customs

On the wedding trip, the groom must pick up the bride on time and take a little boy to call the "press sedan". Even if he is in free love, he must find a bride. Traveling with a Vaco man. At this time, the groom is not allowed to carry keys, nail clippers and other "iron tools" with him. Marriage customs do not have many requirements for the groom, but many requirements for the bride: on the day of the wedding, the bride cannot eat food from her maternal family, which means that she will not eat from both families (from one family to the next). You must never look back. Being able to cry at this time is also a kind of comfort to the parents; before getting on the sedan chair, the bride's brothers and sisters also have to perform a "sister belt" ceremony; the bride's clothes are pinned with sewing needles (sharp tools). ), which means "profit"; mothers will let their daughters wear underwear backwards, which is said to show loyalty to love without being "rebellious"; when the bride gets off the sedan, she must be supported by a virtuous and fertile woman to help her enter. The bridal chamber is called "leading the bride". When passing through the gate, the bride must step over the burning fire to ward off evil spirits; if the bride is pregnant at this time, someone will be asked to follow with a ladder. This is also called "luck in time" Come, get a wife and bring a ladder." In Hakka dialect, "ladder" and "fei" have the same pronunciation, which means climbing up the ladder step by step; when welcoming the bride back, the father-in-law and mother-in-law should stay away and wait until the stars are bright or the next day before they can meet each other. ; At the wedding banquet, the bride is the oldest, so the chicken heads at the banquet cannot be eaten because they are "phoenix heads"; if a guest accidentally breaks the bowl, the host will carefully pick up the pieces one by one and wrap them in red paper It's better to put it in the kitchen. The old man of the host's family will be tolerant if he doesn't ask for the guests. An additional point: there must be two sugar canes in the bride's dowry, which means that they are in love, sweet and sweet from beginning to end. Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride must sit on a large bamboo pole called "mother rail" in the local dialect. Inside the basin, a woman "dressing up the bride" presides over the dressing up. It is said that when I stepped into the bamboo basin, I knew that I had left the home where I had raised myself and became a member of another family. The feeling of that moment cannot be expressed to this day. "The one who dresses the bride" also says auspicious words while dressing up. Back then, when Dado saw his bride sitting and dressing up, he was so excited that he didn't remember to write down those words. All I know is that she wants to comb her hair all the way to the end, and it’s fun to look at the seriousness of the couple’s things. After dressing up, everyone rushes up to pack the "money for getting on the sedan chair" to the bride. When getting on the sedan chair, the "dresser who dresses up the bride" holds a rice sieve and opens it over the bride's head like an umbrella, with the bride's bag inside. It is filled with green "longevity grass", the meaning of which is self-explanatory.

Hakka wedding customs

1. Complexity. From the moment the man and woman choose the wedding day based on their "birthdays", the man's family will start preparing for the wedding. I won't go into some of the details here, but let's just talk about the day before the wedding. On this day, the man will ask the matchmaker to send a "basket" to the woman's house. As for the specific purpose, I don't know and I can't ask, but this basket is very particular. There are rice in each of the two baskets (I don't know how much, it must be the same as the basket). Nine related), nine eggs, nine apples, nine oranges, nine candies and peanuts, nine cakes (now also replaced by Wangwang biscuits), nine catties of fish, nine catties of meat (can also be replaced by money), There were several green onions, garlic sprouts, etc. wrapped in red paper. Before the matchmaker left the groom's house with the basket, the groom's mother gave the matchmaker a red envelope (this was to bring good luck) and said: "What comes and goes..." ....", and the basket cannot be placed on the ground casually during the process. It can only be put down at the woman's house (of course, I delivered it by car, so I put it in the car). When you arrive at the bride’s house, you don’t keep all the things in the basket, but you keep some of them. The bride’s family decides how to collect them, but what you bring back to the groom’s house must be a sign of good luck. The bride is also brought back with the basket. I bought the belt and wallet for the groom. I think this means that from now on I will tie you tightly to me, and your money is also my money. Of course, what I brought back was the red envelope given to me by the woman’s family. Do you know the meaning of “what comes and goes”? hehe! This was only the day before the wedding. On the day of the wedding, you still had to carry two baskets back and forth, but there was a little less fuss and two more umbrellas. When the bride and groom walked out of the door, they had to hold up the umbrellas until The groom’s family only closes the umbrella. Of course, you don’t need to hold an umbrella while sitting on the float. In short, the etiquette is very complicated and contains strong folk customs, but no matter what, it is for a good fortune.

2. Waste.

Not to mention other things, such as the bride’s jewelry, but just saying that the day before the wedding, all the elderly people in the village (it is a village after all, there are still hometowns) are invited to have dinner. This is free, but it is not just the elderly, it has something to do with the host family. The whole family would go out, and such a banquet would cost a lot. After dinner, the groom will ask all the relatives and friends who are welcoming the bride to wash and cut their hair, and then go to the hotel to get a room to sing karaoke and play. In the past, he would play until two or three o'clock to prepare the wedding vehicle. Now it is not that early, but still It is necessary to choose an auspicious time to set off. Of course, there was also the custom of knocking on the door in the past. Someone during the wedding reception told me that they had brought all the tools to open the door. This is what they call "lucky luck". To go a long way, on this day, basically everyone who works has to give out red envelopes. The amount varies, and even all the wedding vehicles can get red envelopes. The wedding banquet will definitely cost a lot of money, so I won’t go into details here.

3. Family thinking. As mentioned before, from the day before the wedding to the night of the wedding, the whole family ate "big food" (this is what I said). On the day of the wedding, the daughter-in-law of the groom's father's biological brothers will stand with the groom's family outside the hotel to welcome guests. , and other relatives helped arrange for guests to be seated. I remember that when we were discussing who should drive the car, someone mentioned the groom’s brother-in-law. The groom’s father immediately objected and said, “Although my son-in-law is very close to me, he is an outsider after all. Why should his brother drive this car?” See Look, if you are someone's son-in-law, you must not take yourself too seriously. That's not how others see it.

Interesting Hakka wedding customs

1. Talking about marriage

When a boy grows up, his parents will ask someone to act as a matchmaker to find an unmarried girl from a suitable family. The matchmaker explains the man's family, age, appearance, etc. to the woman's parents. If the girl's parents agree, they will go on a blind date, which is called "visiting someone else's family." If they don't agree, they will politely decline. The so-called "visiting someone else's family" means that the girl's parents invite several close relatives to see the boy's appearance and learn about the family's move, and the boy holds a banquet and gives gifts. In the past, my daughter herself did not go. With agreement, the woman writes the year, month, day and hour of her daughter's birth, commonly known as the "hour eight characters", on a red post and sends it to the husband's family, which is called "sending Geng". If the groom's family places the "Geng Tie" in front of the ancestral tablet, and if everything goes smoothly within three days, they will further ask a fortune teller to "combine the eight characters". If they agree, the marriage is finalized. Some women's families do the same thing. Therefore, in the old days, life events for young men and women were mostly determined by the orders of their parents, the words of matchmakers, and fortune tellers. Some were also restricted by family status. Therefore, most people "married first and then fell in love", and there were also many people who shared the same bed with different dreams.

2. Send the deposit (zhaoding)

After saying that the marriage is suitable, the woman puts forward the conditions, a certain amount of bride price, a certain amount of pigs, wine, chickens, fish, a certain amount of orange cakes and candies, a rural area The amount of rice, beans, flour and noodles must be added; the man proposes the amount of dowry, which is decided by the matchmaker between the man and the woman. In rural areas, a written form is often used, which is called "writing an engagement" or "writing a marriage contract", with "characters juexiang" written on the front and "a match made in heaven" written on the bottom. The parents of both parties and the matchmaker will sign and seal the contract, each holding one copy. When writing, the man must prepare a feast. At Chengguan, the man will send orange cakes, candies, cloth, shoes, socks, rings or watches to the woman's house, and the woman's family will send hats, shoes and clothes to the man. Some even invite one or two tables of "engagement drinks" from the groom's family. From then on, a woman belongs to her husband's family. After the gift is given, the man will give gifts to the woman during the holidays until they get married.

Hakkas in Meixian, Guangdong, in addition to the usual gifts, also give two "rabbits", one male and one female. The "rabbit" is made of pig belly, turned inside out, stuffed with rice bran, and then made with ears and eyes to make it look lifelike. The woman takes the male one and gives the man a female one. As the saying goes, "after passing the rabbit ceremony, you can vomit your children and grandchildren."

3. Announcement of date and delivery of bride price

After the man decides on the date of "fighting bed" and wedding, he informs the woman, which is called "announcement of date", usually one month before the wedding. , and at the same time, the man will give the bride price to the woman. The Hakka people like to use "nine" as the teger of the betrothal fee, which is a homophonic word for "jiu", which is auspicious. When the woman is having sex with the man, she will send grapefruit and charcoal to the man's house, which means she will have a precious son and a warm new house. It is commonly known as "spying the son to visit the grandson". The man makes many big meatballs and gives them to the woman to share with her relatives and friends as a sign of marriage.

4. There is a big difference between rich and simple dowry. In the old days, most people's dowry for a married woman included five-color shirts and trousers, a dressing table, a foot bucket, a urine bucket, a door curtain mat, a wooden box or a suitcase, etc., while wealthy families would add silks and satins, quilts and blankets, gold and silver jewelry, etc. to show off in the market. Show off to the fullest.

The person who gives the dowry is called "Qing Niang", and the man gives a red envelope. After the dowry is delivered, the groom's family invites relatives and friends to a banquet to "view the dowry". The time for dowry distribution is during the day, and the specific date varies from place to place. In the city, it is the day before the bride gets married, while in the countryside, it is usually on the second day of the bride's get-off.

When a Hakka daughter gets married, her parents will solemnly tie some vegetables with auspicious homophones, such as celery, garlic, chives, leeks, etc., with red rope or strips of cloth as a dowry. To express my best wishes to my daughter and son-in-law. What's even more interesting is that the Hakkas also have the custom of using "longevity grass" as dowry. The longevity grass is a wild grass, tied with a red rope, brought to the husband's house as a dowry, hung in a bamboo basket on the bedside of the bridal chamber, and planted in the vegetable garden the next day to show that it has taken root.

5. Picking up and seeing off relatives

Picking up relatives is also called welcoming relatives. In the past, it was mostly done during the day, but now it is mostly done late at night. At noon, the man should prepare pig's head, rooster, fish and incense candles, and go to the woman's home to pick up the bride amidst the sound of wedding cannons. "I was carried to my husband's house in a sedan chair!" This is something that women in the old days can be proud of throughout their lives. As the saying goes: "It's windy to fan a broken fan, and it's majestic to sit on a broken sedan chair." The number of people going to pick up the bride should be even. When the bride's family sees the receptionist arriving, the door will be closed. After the receptionist sets off firecrackers three times in a row and takes over the candle fire, the door will be opened to greet the bride. The woman will prepare a banquet to entertain the relatives, which is called a "no-block banquet". The husband and guests will move their chopsticks a little but not eat much. After the married girl takes a bath, the matchmaker and bride will dress her up. The bride's side should also send an even number of people to see off guests, usually including the bride's brother, the bride's brothers, and other relatives and friends. When going out, the woman’s parents should stay away. After arriving at the groom's house, if the entry time has not yet arrived, the bride must wait outside the door first. When entering the house, drums and cannons are used to greet each other, and the groom's parents should also avoid it and meet each other when they arrive at the church to avoid "collision" and cause discord in the future. When entering the big threshold, the cook slaughters a rooster, which is called "door-blocking chicken". Some rural customs place an ax under the threshold and the bride enters the new house through a rice sieve.

Hakkas in some areas have the custom of "dragging the green tree" when welcoming a bride, that is, there is a person behind the sedan dragging a banyan tree branch that represents hundreds of descendants. When a sedan meets another's sedan on the road, branches are swapped with each other according to customary rules, and both parties wish for more children and grandchildren, commonly known as "changing green trees." Then everyone drags them home and throws the banyan branches on the back of their own roof tiles, borrowing the meaning of the banyan tree having many children, and in some places they exchange red flowers.

6. Worship, eat noodles, chicken, and drink wine

This is the last ceremony of marriage. The bride and groom first worship the sky together, then worship the ancestors, and then the husband and wife worship each other. . After paying their respects, they entered the bridal chamber together. Red candles were lit in the bridal chamber. Boiled chicken, noodles and two eggs were placed on the table. The bride and groom ate together and drank glasses of wine. This is the first time a new bride has a meal with the groom, so an auspicious time must be chosen. There are particular things to put on the new bed. Four grapefruits are usually placed at Chengguan, with the word "happy" on them. "Pomelo" and "Youzi" are homophonic. A red bucket is placed in the countryside, filled with white rice, as well as rulers, abacus, scissors, etc., symbolizing a prosperous life after marriage and good calculation; there is also a red light, which means "adding children".

7. Having a wedding ceremony

Having a wedding ceremony is not part of the wedding ceremony, it may or may not be. Generally, after the guests have finished the banquet, some young men and women, relatives and friends enter the new house to have fun with the bride and groom. They ask the couple to sing and sing, such as the groom holding the bride and biting red flowers (red envelopes), the bride and groom eating a candy together, singing and dancing, etc. In the past, there was still the bad habit of "pressing the pressure on the bride". This phenomenon somewhat bears the legacy of barbaric group marriages in the early days of mankind, which has now been eradicated. In the past, due to the narrowness of new houses in some places, the wedding ceremony was held in the hall. The quarrel lasts for three consecutive days. During these three days, all men, women, old and young can participate, regardless of age. Hakka people are also governed by the concept that the more noisy they are, the more auspicious they will be. The Hakka people in Guangdong have a special emphasis on four rhyming sentences in the custom of having a wedding ceremony. They are composed of four rhyming sentences in the language of auspiciousness, blessing and jubilee. They run through the entire process of having a wedding ceremony, which is elegant and interesting. Some people say four sentences: Moonlight is shining, look at the bride, the bride’s belly is round and ding-dang, seeds are planted today, next August they will give birth to osmanthus seeds that will fill the sky with fragrance. This kind of four-sentence phrase that contains both playfulness and blessing often makes people laugh out loud.

8. Consummation

The Hakka people in Taiwan are the funniest. During consummation, as soon as the bride and groom lie down, a rooster will cry "Oh! Oh!" from under the bed. The sound of a hen's "clucking eggs" to announce the birth of a child. It turns out that after the girl agreed to get married, her mother carefully fed her a pair of chickens, which came to her husband's house as a "guidance chicken" on her wedding day and sent them directly to the bridal chamber under the wedding bed.

After the rooster crows, the groom will ask the bride: "Why is there a rooster crow under the bed?" The bride tells him: "It's almost dawn, the rooster crows, and the chicken is laying eggs." The groom lifts the bed sheet and looks, and the hen really lays eggs under the bed. A big egg. The groom was moved by the scene, hugged the bride tightly and said happily: "It's true, I gave birth! I gave birth! It's a good sign, we will give birth too!" This is commonly known as "consummation and birth".

In many places, there is an old custom of consummating a marriage and testing virginity. In the south, especially in Guangdong, roasted pigs are given to the bride when she returns home from the three dynasties to show that the bride's chastity is intact. The bride is respected by the groom's family, and the bride's family is proud of it. . "Eating roasted pig" has become synonymous with the bride's chastity. On the day of the third dynasty, the bridegroom accompanied the bride back home. The bride's parents were looking forward to it, but they only let go of their long-awaited hearts when they saw the "roasted pig" that came with it. The daughter is a virgin who keeps her virginity as pure as jade, and her husband's family has expressed satisfaction with her, so the parents are relieved that their daughter will be cared for throughout her life. Regarding this old custom, there is a Lingnan miscellaneous chant that goes: Who taught the arm to be printed red in Luxiang, so that the shadows of flowers in the bridal chamber are always hazy; who made the Qinglu ritual, and burned three pigs to guard the palace.

9. Invite three dynasties

On the third day after the bride gets married, her parents’ family will hold a banquet to invite their daughter and son-in-law. When a daughter returns to her parents' home as a guest, she can sit at the head of the table. After the banquet, she takes off her red shirt in public and puts on new ordinary clothes. You cannot stay at your natal family on this day, and you have to rush back to your husband's house no matter how far or near it is. In some rural areas, the natal family invites some relatives (women) to their daughter's home in a few days; in some cases, during the full month of marriage, the mother invites her daughter to go home for the full month. liquor. The male and female relatives each choose a date to hold a banquet and invite each other to drink, which is called "coming to the door". These festive lingering sounds can strengthen the exchanges between the two families.

Inviting guests to a wedding banquet, commonly known as "wedding banquet", is a very grand ceremony, especially for weddings in the past. The wedding banquet is held in the hall, and the tables are divided into seniority and inferiority. The one on the upper left is the chief, and the one on the right is the second. The old man sits on top, and the guests are on the bottom. Guests are seated according to their seniority, distance, age, and family members. The main guests, including the groom, must come to him one by one to greet them and bring them to the designated seats and offer bowls and chopsticks. At the wedding banquet, the bride's parents will invite the guests. The groom's and the bride's maternal uncles were the honored guests and sat at the head table. The guests who come to the groom's house from the woman's side are called "big guests". When they come, firecrackers are set off in front of the door to greet them. The banquet cannot start until they arrive. The groom should hold the pot at the head table of his mother-in-law, and the wine-pouring service should begin with his mother-in-law. You can get married in rural areas without inviting guests, but if you don't invite a married woman, you will be blamed by your relatives and friends, because the husband's family sends a lot of chicken, wine, fish and meat to the girl's family. In addition to providing food and drink for the guests at the wedding banquet, the guests should also be asked to take some food home to share with their family members and even neighbors. Therefore, in the past, large plates and bowls were used to treat guests to drinks in the city, and the guests could take some home.