How to save a child who is unwilling to do his homework in the first grade of primary school? It doesn't work to beat, scold and cajole.
I want to ask this parent, do you know why the child doesn't want to write?
What the parent needs to do is to find the source and understand why the child is unwilling to do homework.
1. If there is interference from family members, remove the interference items and create a clean learning environment for children. Some families have too many distractions, which attract children's attention, and children have no mind to write at all.
For example, TV, when the old people live with us, the housing at home is tight, and the children can only do their homework in the living room. My old man and husband both like watching TV, and I'm not worried. The children are doing their homework and their TV is on, which will definitely distract them. I took the initiative to communicate with them, bought two more TVs and let them watch them in other rooms, and the problem was solved.
Grandparents like children. Children come home from school, reluctantly leave them, chat and talk beside them, and constantly bring them food. Although they love their children, they also disturb their homework. These can be solved by communicating with the elderly.
2. Are you distracted by mobile games or other children's fun? I have a relative who thinks her children are noisy around. Since she was two or three years old, she has been throwing mobile phones to children to play with. She is clean and relaxed, but when the mobile phone is a nanny, the child is infected with Internet addiction, and playing games every day has become a compulsory course. Now I am at school, and my children don't like doing homework. The same is true if children are obsessed with watching TV.
After my daughter went to primary school, I clearly stipulated the time to watch TV.
You can't watch TV on Sunday night-next Thursday night. You can read books and watch English videos after your homework. Friday night-you can watch it if you finish your homework during the day on Sunday. Friday night is a time to relax. After a week's hard work, she played as she wanted at that time.
Children are still young, and some things must be resolutely stopped, and parents' time planning must be obeyed. After a long time, children will feel natural when they get used to it.
My daughter has left her a habit since the first grade. She is now 16 years old and doesn't feel any discomfort.
3. Communicate with children and teachers and ask about the effect of class and the performance of children in class. I don't want to do my homework. Maybe my child doesn't have a good grasp of knowledge and it's difficult to write.
This is also particularly critical. Encourage children more. You can pretend that the teacher praised him and encourage the children with the help of the teacher, which will be more effective. You can read my article and see how I try to encourage my children.
4. Is there too much homework? The child's hands are tender and he feels tired. In some foreign countries, children are not allowed to write before the third grade, which also takes into account the development of hands. I feel more scientific.
5. See if there is any problem with the child's writing posture. Children's incorrect writing posture can also lead to long-term pain in their hands and fatigue. Children will hate doing homework more and more.
My daughter had this problem and corrected it in time. Everything was in the first grade.
6. If there is a problem, find out the cause of the problem and don't beat and scold the child. Beating and scolding children is just a way for parents to vent their emotions, which will only make them more bored. Can't solve any problems.
In short, children who don't want to do their homework must find out the reason and prescribe the right medicine, and the problem will be solved.
It is very serious for children not to learn;
It doesn't work to beat, scold and coax!
My friend asked me if I had a good prescription:
The idea of praise will make people move!
Hello! I'm glad to answer your question.
Pupils don't like to do homework, which is what many children will have. It is very important to transition from kindergarten to senior one. Now I have some views on this:
It's no use beating and cursing. It is children's nature for parents to calm down and enjoy playing first. From kindergarten to senior one, this process needs to make children understand that entering senior one should focus on learning. Let him deeply understand that learning is his essential task.
It is not good to educate children by beating, scolding and coaxing, but it will be counterproductive. Letting children pass by will have a serious conflict with parents' behavior. After that, no matter what you do, you can't "save" the child.
Since parents are helping to guide children, let's calm down, think with a normal heart, take measures, and then face the children's problems.
Parents' education is too wordy. Ask others to help communicate. Parents are people who have been in contact with their children for a long time and know each other better. When children's bad habits appear and parents' repeated education doesn't work, it is suggested that others can be found to help with education.
Ask someone to help with education. If the child doesn't listen, he can still listen to what he says. At least he won't have serious resistance, and parents will help and guide their children through further communication with them.
Parents need to pay attention to proper methods of reasoning. If parents talk to their children more, the children will become more and more disgusted. Because parents are telling the truth, to tell the truth, he may or may not understand, so parents must learn to put themselves in their shoes when communicating with their children again.
Tell the truth that adults want to express in a way that children can understand. For example, find a pleasant topic to start communication and gradually turn to the problems that need to be solved. This will not only increase the contradiction again because of communication, but will make it easier for children to accept the truth that parents need to convey.
It is not feasible to communicate with children only by preaching the truth. Let yourself calm down first, and then think about the problem; Secondly, start communication with a pleasant topic, and then gradually cut into the theme; Finally, when reasoning, we should change the thinking of adults into the thinking of children, that is, empathy, so that they can accept it happily.
Don't talk about homework, my mother is kind and filial, hugging. When she did her homework, chickens flew and dogs jumped and screamed ... This is a true portrayal of many parents accompanying Xiong Haizi to do his homework. What a painful understanding!
Your child is in the first grade of primary school, which is the age of fun. He has little interest in homework. Coupled with your threats and inducements, even the combination of sticks, he should hate homework more and more. The more times, the more he resisted. Children are still young, so let's carry out truth education, and the effect is certainly not satisfactory. I think we can start with the following points:
1. Build trust in parent-child activities. Understanding children's hobbies means watching cartoons, listening to stories, building blocks, or other sports. Participate in children's activities, play with children, treat yourself as a child, exchange views and ideas with children during or after activities, infiltrate ideological education and become children's true friends.
2. Make a daily homework plan with your children. The child is still young, and you invite him to make a study plan together, which is full respect and can also enhance his confidence and determination to complete the plan. The daily total homework goal is divided into several small goals, which are completed within the specified time. If it is completed in time, you can praise him, reward him in time, satisfy one of his small wishes, or ask the teacher to encourage and praise him to enhance his motivation to learn. Step by step, children will gradually realize the fun of learning.
Parents should be patient when doing homework with their children. Before the children do their homework, we can say, "Let's study together and see who does it quickly and correctly today." When doing homework, parents should be good at playing dumb. You can't pretend that children can do things occasionally, and children can't. You have to be patient and explain to the children. Throughout the company, try to use the tone of discussion, not the tone of command.
Parents should accept their children's imperfections. The child is slow and procrastinating in his homework. Look at the way he muddles along, and think about whether it will be like this in the future. The more he watched it, the angrier he became. If he can't control it, he will yell at the child. If your child's homework is not finished in time, you will look like you hate iron and never produce, and even insist on education. Appropriate punishment can, but it can't hurt the child's self-esteem.
Parents should study by themselves and set an example. I don't play games or brush Tik Tok in my spare time ... I can read books, listen to music and tell stories to my children.
The first grade is the golden age to cultivate children's study habits and behavior habits. Parents should urge their children to develop good study habits. Good habits are not only conducive to the improvement of their studies, but also have an impact on their future development, and even benefit them for life.
For the first-grade children, it is best not to use force to solve the problem, because the children are too young.
Perhaps many parents will find this phenomenon. When tutoring children to do homework, children are still a little sensible, and the louder adults are, the more they scold or beat. Later, the child's expression became more dull and his understanding became worse. That's because when people are angry or afraid, their brains react slowly.
There was a first-grade child who wrote his name ugly. His mother called him stupid and couldn't even write his own name well. His mother also beat him. As a result, he couldn't even write ugly words, and his brain didn't know how to write them. Later, my father took my mother away, and my father took him out to play for a while. When he got home, he remembered how to write his name. We adults sometimes go blank when we are frightened, let alone children.
Therefore, for a first-grade child, parents can seize the bright spot of the child, praise him more and enhance his self-confidence. There is nothing to boast about poor grades. Go find the bright spot in life. For example, the child dresses himself today, for example, he helps sweep the floor at home today, for example, he helps his mother with slippers today ... As long as he does good things, praise him more and slowly guide him to learn. He didn't do his homework yesterday, but he did his homework today. Parents should praise his progress, not criticize it.
Children need the guidance of love, not rude shouting.
As a parent of a third-grade child, I have also experienced a first-grade torture, and I think I am qualified to answer this question. I will answer this question in three parts: I can finish my homework quickly even if I have no talent, the reasons for boycotting my homework, and my six practical experiences.
Let me talk about my son's attitude towards homework from grade one to grade three. My son didn't teach him to hold a pen and count on purpose in kindergarten (the kindergarten teacher taught him a little). In addition, my son belongs to the kind of child who usually moves slowly and his coordination is not particularly good since he was a child.
So when I was in the first grade, my homework was particularly slow and I couldn't keep up. It takes a long time to add or subtract within 10.
Nevertheless, so far, I still don't agree with kindergarten teaching children pinyin and arithmetic. Of course, this is another topic.
I am often left behind after school in grade three, because I can't pass dictation and recitation. I waited at the door of the classroom for 1 several hours.
Once, the handwriting of the homework was so ugly that the teacher tore up his homework book, which contained almost one month's homework. It seemed to be the National Day holiday at that time, and the teacher punished him to rewrite all the homework in that book.
He did his homework faster in the second grade. Last semester, that is, the first semester of grade three, homework was particularly fast.
They left school at 4: 40 and got home at 5: 00. When they do their homework quickly, they finish their dinner at 6 o'clock and finish all their homework. It's not less homework. There are several of his classmates in our unit. They usually go downstairs to play after finishing their homework. Last semester, my son always couldn't find anyone to play downstairs, and all the children did their homework at home.
I spend so much time introducing my son's changes just to tell you that children with poor talents can finish their homework quickly.
Let me analyze the reasons why children resist homework. First of all, it is normal for children not to like homework. 100 students, it is also difficult to find a child who really likes homework.
Rousseau in his classic educational treatise "Emile" has such a sentence:
Learning is the main reason why children are unhappy.
So, accept this normal state of the child.
However, the children began to resist, that is, they stopped doing their homework. I think there are two main reasons:
In the first grade, everything is new, such as holding a pen, calculating and pinyin. ...
What children learn in kindergarten is not required by parents and teachers, and children can learn slowly. After primary school, teachers and parents have requirements and are no longer willing to give their children time to take their time. The more anxious a child is, the worse he studies.
2. Be criticized and scolded by teachers and parents
Most people will have such an instinctive reaction when they encounter criticism and scolding: either defend or retreat. First-grade children are weak in front of teachers and parents, and generally choose to give in.
Suggestions for improvement: children write slowly, and don't preach when they don't want to write. Tell the child: Mom also thinks your homework is difficult. When I was a child, I had little homework, and what I learned was not as difficult as you are now.
2. Help children analyze, solve their difficulties one by one, and allow the existence of imperfect homework.
In the eyes of adults, children only have two (or three) assignments in Chinese and mathematics. However, from the child's point of view, there are recitation, dictation, copying, standardized format, arithmetic and graphics. ...
When tutoring homework, we will habitually find fault with our children. There are problems everywhere. Children are not confident that they can improve, so it is better to give up.
You can only solve one problem at a time and allow other problems to exist. This is the principle of "divide and rule" of Chairman Mao's old people.
Parents should make plans, such as solving the problem of neat writing this week and trying not to criticize their children on other issues. Be sure to praise the progress of writing in time.
Every question should see its essence, such as the child's handwriting is too ugly, what is the reason. I divided my son's writing into several stages to help him.
In the first stage, pay attention to the strength of holding the pen and try to be "horizontal and vertical".
In the second stage, pay attention to the size of words. Children's handwriting used to be very big. How big is it? The requirement for children is: write it in the grid.
The third stage: analyzing the structure of Chinese characters. I think Chinese characters are almost enough for this part, so the requirements are very low.
3. Help children do their homework
Only by solving the problems one by one can we finally solve all the problems. However, if we solve problems slowly, children will often fail to finish their homework and be criticized for going to school.
But the children are really working hard, and we can't say that there is something wrong with the teacher. After all, the teacher is considering the overall situation.
So I think helping children do some homework properly can not only reduce their burden, but also make them realize that you and he are United and will be more cooperative in the future.
Some places can tell him the answer directly, so that he won't spend a lot of time looking up books and dictionaries.
Teacher Yin Jianli mentioned in the book "A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher" that she had done homework for her daughter.
4. Mention the children's efforts in front of the teacher and strive for certain rights and interests for the children.
My son often stayed in school in the first grade. When I pick him up, I sometimes talk to the teacher. Tell the teacher that my son wrote his homework late yesterday and I made him rewrite it several times.
Let the teacher feel that the children are working hard and our parents are very cooperative with the teacher.
As long as there is an opportunity, I will also talk to the teacher about my educational plan for children during this period. For example, tell the teacher that I will focus on tutoring children's writing and listening to the teacher's opinions during this time.
In this case, the teacher will pay attention to the child's writing during this time, and as long as there is progress, he will definitely praise it. Then you will be more relaxed when you are away with your children.
Communicate with teachers often, and teachers are not particularly embarrassed to punish your children all the time.
5. Maintain the authority of teachers in front of children.
In front of children, we must maintain the authority of teachers. Children are not afraid of teachers, even despise teachers, and then it is difficult to rectify.
Even if the teacher criticized the child and went too far, we can say this:
You see, your mother often gets angry when she tutors you. Teachers are really hard. He is in the same mood as his mother. I hope you can get good grades.
6. Change the form of homework and minimize the amount of homework.
In the first year of high school, we always had dictation homework, but we didn't hand it in. Go to school the next day, but you may be detained if you fail.
In order to help children dictate, we often sit on the sofa or at the dining table to test children and let them write by hand. You don't have to sit on the table properly, so you will feel more relaxed.
Many students in the children's class send groups after dictation (in fact, the teacher didn't ask). My son was slow at writing, so I just dictated to him. I don't think he can write.
I like math homework. It's difficult to ask questions and think about questions at the back. If he can't do it, I'll let him not do it. Because I told him the answer was meaningless, and my son's qualifications were average. In the first grade, I thought it would be good to lay a good foundation.
Children's homework has a long way to go. The best solution is to stand with the children without criticizing or scolding them. All the above are my practical experiences from the heart, which I have written for such a long time. I hope it works for you.
Beating and cursing is definitely not enough, so that children will not write more and will be easily disgusted.
Make a reasonable plan, give him corresponding encouragement, or use rewards and punishments. Some rewards can be deducted if they are done well.
But not every child is the same, we still have to find the right way.
My son, who is now in the fifth grade of primary school, has basically taken care of himself since he was two and a half years old. Since he started school, I have been a primary school student again. I have always advocated putting down my mobile phone, slowing down and growing up with my children. Now I will share my parenting experience and professional experience with you, hoping to help this topic.
The following six aspects are not a simple order of writing, but a causal relationship between them. I hope that parents can check for leaks and fill vacancies, and find problems from themselves first. When you are ready, your child will be fine.
1. Preparation of family learning environment After children go to school, the family is one of the important places for children to study, and the preparation of family learning environment is also an important content. Prepare an independent small study space for children, which can be a single room or a corner of the room. Prepare highly suitable tables and chairs for children, choose good myopia-proof desk lamps for children, and prepare necessary stationery. Space pays attention to quietness and neatness.
Remember not to let children do their homework while watching TV, making noise or brushing Tik Tok. Children are greatly influenced by the outside world. Children in grade one can concentrate on their homework for 20 minutes. As parents, we must first ensure a suitable family learning environment, including asking parents to be calm, and a harmonious and peaceful family atmosphere is the biggest catalyst for children's learning.
2. Due to the epidemic, the habit of living is isolated at home. Unlike the normal routine in the past, everyone's life rules have been disrupted. In addition, the teacher assigned a lot of homework punching tasks, which reduced the time for children to play and made them unhappy. Regardless of the impact of the epidemic, parents should try to arrange their children's life rules, go to bed early and get up early, work and rest regularly, and develop good living habits.
Good living habits will be transferred to study habits. It can be said that good living habits are the beginning of serious study habits. If adults' daily life is a mess, children can't talk about studying hard and doing their homework.
3. Strengthen the training of thinking mode and teach learning methods. The homework in the first grade is not difficult, but it is important to cultivate children's learning thinking, learning habits and learning methods. They must practice repeatedly in the three years from the first grade to the third grade, so that children can form stable learning behavior and lay a foundation for future study.
We don't require every parent to have the professional knowledge of teachers, but after all, children are their own, and family education is also the basis of all other education. Therefore, parents may wish to be primary school students, accompany their children to do their homework, interpret the questions of Grade One from the perspective of adults, and give their children more guidance in divergent thinking. Instead of trying to correct the right or wrong answers or the length of time, it is better to guide children to think more and spend more time inspiring them to think independently.
4. Clear the reward and punishment standards in advance to cultivate children's autonomy. Children in grade one have a clear sense of rules. Parents must set an example and make rules. They can discuss with their children what they can and can't do, or form a daily schedule that children also recognize, and keep up with the corresponding rewards and punishments. Rewards and punishments must be clear and strictly implemented, and the standard cannot be lowered at will. Because children always try to challenge the bottom line of adults, only if you set a standard of 100 for him can he get 90 points, otherwise you only need to pass 60 points, so the children are unqualified in many aspects.
Children have no parents to rely on at school, so they have to make their own decisions at home. Don't take the initiative to "study with the prince" or "do homework with the princess", let the children understand that learning is their job, make the right choice according to the situation, and ask the children to do their homework in time and check independently afterwards. Unless children have problems and need help, adults can stand by and gradually let them learn to take care of themselves and stand on their own feet.
5. Strengthen the sense of responsibility and let it bear the consequences. It is also the key to cultivate a sense of responsibility in primary schools. The sense of responsibility is mainly driven by the problem of "internalization of external responsibility", such as the external factors of reward and punishment standards mentioned above to drive the transformation of children's internal emotions and beliefs.
Parents should first make their children responsible for their own actions, especially their own mistakes, and let their children receive the opportunity of "natural consequences" education in their daily lives. For example, if he can't do his homework on time, he won't be able to cash your reward and will be criticized by the teacher. Parents should not always take responsibility on themselves, but should let their children bear the cost of making mistakes. The sense of responsibility must be cultivated in the process of taking responsibility, otherwise it will not bear the consequences, and the cultivation of the sense of responsibility is empty talk.
6. Harmonious parent-child interaction Under the influence of the epidemic, children are unhappy all day at home. Parents should also combine learning, sports, leisure, entertainment and children. No matter how busy parents are, they need exercise and entertainment to relieve the pressure brought by intense work. Growing children also need sports and entertainment to relieve the tension and anxiety caused by excessive study pressure.
If parents are careful, they can try to find the same hobbies as their children, which not only meets the needs of adults and children to relax, but also meets the needs of accompanying children. Life lies in exercise. Adults and children need exercise to keep fit and relieve stress. For children who are in the first stage of development, exercise is the best means to grow up and strengthen their physique. Only by strengthening physical fitness can we cultivate and shape personality.
At home, you can also play the board game of educational logic that we advocate, and play and study in middle school. In harmonious interactive communication, you can learn to lower your body, listen to your child's voice and become your child's partner, teammate or opponent. Equal to each other, naturally you will get less punches and less sticks.
In short, good study habits can not only save study time and improve study efficiency, but also be the basis for improving academic performance. However, it is not enough to rely on teachers to teach study habits at school. Parents should also make efforts to carry out home-school education, and we can also make use of institutions like our new gifted education, which pay attention to the quality development of primary and secondary school students, to jointly cultivate gifted students.
I am an old teacher who has been teaching for 30 years. I hope that some experiences I share can help parents and children in need.
First of all, don't let your child do his homework immediately after school, because the child has been in class for a day and his energy and physical strength are in a state of fatigue, so let him eat some fruit first, and then let him relax properly; Or parents can talk to him when they are free, ask their children what happened at school today, and let them talk about all the happy and unhappy things. You can also learn about your child's study at school by the way. This time period is controlled within half an hour.
When the child has replenished energy and relaxed, it will get twice the result with half the effort to let the child finish his homework at this time. It is very important for first-grade children to develop study habits. The environment for homework should be quiet, no toys and no TV. Parents are even more reluctant to tutor him while playing mobile phones. These will interfere with his attention. Once he is distracted, the bad habit of procrastination will be difficult to correct, and it will also bring endless trouble to his later study.
Therefore, children need high-quality guidance and companionship from their parents at the beginning of the first grade and even the whole first grade. When children's good study habits have been gradually developed and a virtuous circle has been formed, parents can worry a lot less during their children's long learning stage.