From your description, you are still a student, and I understand how you feel.
I always think too much and have some anxiety and social fear. This is indeed a rather painful thing. I think that to solve the problem, we have to solve it at the root. Here are a few solutions for you, for reference only.
1. Be true to yourself
Think about it, do you really want to be recognized by others? People often have too high demands on themselves and become impatient. The more anxious you are, the more fearful you are. You are always afraid that you will not do well, that you will not perform well, and that the pressure will increase and you will not be able to bear it.
I suggest you relax yourself. What can be good or bad? If it is good, just give it more praise and recognition. Will it be enough for you? Can't? So what if it's bad? Will he be shot? cannot. So what are you afraid of? Don't worry about anything, just live your life. If I don't live for others, my talents will be useful. Who knows when to use it? Let’s talk about it then.
Don’t be anxious just because others are great. Remember, you are who you are. If someone else's model is used to trick you, will you feel better? Just be yourself. Which is more important, whether the teacher is disappointed or not, or your life?
2. Looking back on the environment in which you grew up as a child
Were you too good when you were a child? Or do your parents have too high demands and expectations on you? As far as I know, usually both parents or one parent who is particularly strong will instill a competitive mentality in their children, and gradually develop a strong character. But you must understand that no matter how good you are, there are people outside the world, and there is a sky outside the world. You will not be able to accept the reality, which will cause excessive psychological pressure, and you will be anxious to seek good things, which will be counterproductive. If this is the case, tell your parents that you don’t want to compare with anyone, just use your strengths and follow your own wishes, and your life will definitely be wonderful. Be brave and communicate with your parents.
3. Release emotions
Find a quiet place and completely release the pain accumulated in your heart. Be sure to release it completely. There’s no right or wrong, it’s just about releasing your emotions. After the release, sing a few songs loudly. It is recommended to sing more than three songs loudly. It will be much better.
4. Laughing method
Arrange a homework for yourself every day and laugh for half an hour. Whether you can laugh or not, force yourself to laugh. This is very important because it can vent your unhappiness and worries. Thirty minutes a day for a month. It will be fine.
I hope it can help you. If you have any specific questions, please send a private message. Welcome to follow the entrepreneurial painter.
Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a special type of anxiety. It often starts in teenagers, with the onset age ranging from 3 to 25 years old. It is less common after the age of 25. The highest incidence age group is 13 to 25 years old, with a lifetime prevalence rate of 15.
The core symptom is the fear of being scrutinized in groups, leading to intentional avoidance of social situations. The patient's irrational consciousness will produce fear symptoms in public, accompanied by anxiety and tension. Symptoms can be isolated, such as eating in public places, speaking in public, or meeting the opposite sex; they can also be generalized, affecting all situations except family. Fear of vomiting in public is the most common symptom. For some patients, looking directly into the sun or looking at each other may cause them to be particularly nervous, accompanied by symptoms such as blushing, trembling, nausea, and urgency of urination.
Social anxiety disorder is a type of chronic mental illness with a high incidence rate and a great impact on the patient’s social function. Such patients continue to have serious problems in psychological and social adjustment, and their work and social problems Ability impairment is severe, and quality of life and satisfaction are low. Clinically, social anxiety disorder is often combined with other psychiatric symptoms, such as depressive symptoms, panic symptoms, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, sperm dependence, etc. Another category is place phobia.
People who are afraid of certain places, such as empty squares, crowded basements, dark warehouses, underground tunnels, subway trains, or crowded carriages, are overly worried that there will be no emergency passages or exits in case of an accident in the above places. There is also a type of specific phobia or specific phobia. The main objects of fear are animals, the most common ones being fluffy dogs and cats. Some patients are also afraid of toy dogs. In addition, they are also afraid of snakes, rats, and bees, and some are afraid of sharp blades, fearing that they will hurt themselves. There are also people who are afraid of seeing blood, killing chickens and ducks, and some are afraid of thunder and lightning, and are afraid of going out when it rains and thunders. This type of patients is rare in clinical practice.
What is the treatment method? Good results can be obtained by treating anxiety disorders with medication, combined with psychotherapy and behavioral therapy.
Although social anxiety disorder is relatively common in clinical practice, most of it is not diagnosed and treated in time. The recognition rate of social anxiety disorder in general hospital outpatient departments, internal medicine departments, and emergency departments is very low. People will be more vigilant when experiencing anxiety and depression. Few patients come to the doctor for social anxiety disorder. Most of them mistakenly think it is a "personality problem." If social anxiety disorder is not treated in time, it will often have some adverse effects, such as difficulty in going to school, affecting academic studies and further education, being unable to carry out work, being unable to perform in some industries, shrinking the social spectrum, affecting development, affecting dating, love, marriage, family, and affecting the economy. income and quality of life.
The lifetime prevalence rate of social anxiety disorder is 13.3, second only to severe depression (17.1) and alcohol dependence (14.1). Therefore, attention should be paid to the identification of social anxiety disorder, early diagnosis, and early treatment should adopt biological, Comprehensive treatment methods such as psychological evaluation and social pre-treatment.
1. Exposure therapy
It is still the main method of treatment. Social skills training (a comprehensive approach), which includes behavioral rehearsal, reinforcement, and practice of verbal and nonverbal behavioral techniques, can be used with patients with severe deficiencies in communication and emotional expression. There are controlled studies showing that techniques such as practicing and practicing how to date are very effective for patients who are afraid of dating, meeting strangers, or attending group gatherings. When exposing patients to anxiety-provoking social situations, it is necessary to practice some interpersonal and communication techniques, because it is often impossible to cleanly separate exposure and social skills training.
2. Drug therapy
The drugs approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to treat social anxiety include: paroxetine, sertraline, venlafaxine extended-release, and fluvoxine Sha Ming. No matter what kind of medicine it is, you must take and stop it according to the doctor's instructions. You must not blindly increase the dosage or reduce the dosage at will.
Fear often comes from the mentality of "cannot afford to lose" and depends on the degree of narcissism deep in human nature. People do not cope better because they are older, but because they have learned a series of skills to change "away" to "home" and learned the ability to manage emotions, they have the magic of looking forward to the future. To put it more deeply, in an unfamiliar scene, everyone has fear, but some people are more skillful in preventing their fear from being exposed. Workplace Rookie Show: "New Entry into a Rich Family" Phobia Character: Xue Shan, 24 years old, joined the planning department of a foreign company after graduating with a master's degree. Seven months later, she encountered her first "social Waterloo" at the company's year-end party.
Main complaint: I know that the German boss and seven directors will fly to Shanghai to attend the party. I ask senior colleagues for advice, but no one is willing to tell you how they will dress up at the party (for fear of wearing different clothes) . So I decided to dress up freshly, wearing an Asana short-sleeved shirt and linen trousers. But when I got there, the most disgraceful people were me and the other three newcomers. The scene of the fragrant clothes and shadows made us dizzy. , As a result, we could only hide in the corner, drink as hard as we could, and go to the bathroom to get some air to escape the omnipresent pressure in the "Golden Hall".
Why did the full confidence in the office turn into a gloomy low self-esteem here?
Optimistic psychological counselor’s advice:
It’s not surprising that newcomers who participate in a party of a multinational company for the first time always feel that “the depth of the sea is as deep as the first entry”. , especially if you come with the purpose of "please your boss" or become a "star figure". Try the following principles: 1. Let go of the burden of "I must impress the president". Overemphasis on purpose and nervousness will distort your performance; 2. Understand that the skills to stay calm and relaxed in all social situations are training and rehearsal. As a result of careful preparation, you might as well prepare some "familiar" topics to strike up conversations with kind-faced strangers. 3. Don’t talk about work with your boss at parties, and don’t use work topics to please a “big shot” when you meet him, because what benefit does “judgment of superiority and inferiority” at this moment do to you? You can prepare some topics that comply with the party rules, such as French movies, red wine anecdotes, golf experiences and understanding of the latest open-top sports cars. 4. Dressing up in 40s or 95s makes newcomers feel overwhelmed. Wearing a pair of trousers to a meeting or wearing too much jewelry will expose you to your shortcomings. When experience is not enough to make you calm and composed, 10 dressing levels are just right. They include a simple and close-fitting little black dress, an ancestral pearl necklace, and an antique-style amber pendant that can also bring out your freshness and brightness. Don’t fall into the trap of competing with others on the size of your diamond. Fear of Dating Characters: Hu Yun, 26 years old, a physician at a foreign-owned dental clinic, introverted, was introduced by a friend a year ago to participate in various dating parties, including TV shows, 8-person round-table quick blind dates, self-driving friends, etc. Main complaint: I have been studying well since childhood and finding a job. I have never suffered from the fear of "being chosen". I am always worried about how humiliating it will be if no one chooses me during the blind date, and I am also afraid of overly eager men. I am always worried that being chased by others will lead to falling into the trap of "sexual harassment"; but if If I aim at the target and take the initiative, will men think that I am an overly Westernized girl with particularly casual sexual concepts?
Optimistic psychological counselor’s advice:
From the age of 23 to 30, career women’s fear of social parties is decreasing, while their fear of blind date parties is increasing. Especially 26-year-old women who have not yet had a deep emotional relationship, they are prone to fall into the trap of worrying about gains and losses; they are used to considering all the worst blind outcomes, and are frightened by their own imaginations. It can also be said that the older a person is, the more likely he is to turn from "other love" to "narcissism", and the depth of narcissism is directly proportional to the difficulty of starting a relaxed relationship. How to travel light and enter the blind date scene? 1. Explain the meaning of your name and help others remember you. 2. Showing off your strengths, especially handicrafts, will earn you a lot of impression points; talent displays such as calligraphy, painting, violin and piano can show your calm and leisurely beauty, and also show off your tutoring. 3. If you’re not going to be on a TV show, don’t bring a group of friends and family. If you are a person who often "imagines failure", why do you want so many people to witness your frustration? 4. You can pursue a man, but don’t be so direct. For example, if you are a dentist, you can encourage him to do dental cleaning treatment. “This will make your smile more charming.” Such an invitation is a smart bait to induce him to say Words of endearment - if he doesn't hate you either. "Borderline Social Phobia" Character: Saina, 29, a mobile phone software designer for an international brand. Main complaint: When attending parties, I spend most of the time sitting on a clean toilet, holding a comic book, and listening to people outside. Talking and laughing Yan Yan, experiencing the inner struggle. Just because I said at a party that "jazz" is used as the background music of the red light district in New Orleans, USA. The die-hard jazz enthusiasts at the party criticized me thoroughly. Finally, one of them, a man who had remained silent, said loudly: What do women know about the spirit of jazz? It's too stupid for you to argue with a layman who doesn't know how to pretend to understand.
The debate ended here. I wished I could crawl into a crack in the ground. Later I found this crack in the ground. That is the WC where I can relax by reading comics and the warm WC.
Optimistic psychological counselor’s advice:
There are not a few people who have social phobia due to making “idiot-level mistakes” in conversations. People who are easily troubled by frustration because they express a wrong point of view usually have contradictory self-evaluation. On the one hand, she hopes to lead most topics, like an omniscient prophet; on the other hand, she prohibits herself. When you make any mistakes, you tend to completely deny yourself when challenged. In short, her self-evaluation is completely based on the likes and dislikes of others. As a result, her heart is always suffering in the whirlpool of inferiority and arrogance. Charlotte is a typical example of "borderline social phobia". If she takes a step to the left, she will isolate herself, but if she takes a step to the right, she will be no different from a normal person. Psychiatrists suggest the following: 1. You might as well learn a few tricks to hide clumsiness from the social masters around you. For example: How to change the topic to a field that you are familiar with without leaving any trace? 2. Make full use of the "home field advantage." When you first resume social activities, you should try to hold parties in circles you are familiar with. The surrounding scene and all the preparation details are clearly understood, which is helpful for calming down. 3. When you are too panicked, try to use abdominal breathing. Follow your yoga instructor to learn abdominal breathing and use acupuncture points to release stress, which will bring a more calm posture to your social life.
We are grateful to all the patients who chose to come to the Optimistic Psychological Counseling Center for treatment. We are grateful for the wealth you have created for us. We are also very pleased that you have mastered and possessed great spiritual wealth in the optimistic psychological counseling. Optimistic Psychology I am grateful to you and wish you to get out of the quagmire of neurosis as soon as possible and find the source of your own happiness. I love you all! Neurotic patients, when you are unable to save yourself, it is also a wise choice to choose a suitable psychological counselor to be your guide in life! Knowing how to ask for help shows that you have a strong intention and desire for self-improvement. This is also an ability! People with obsessive-compulsive disorder don't know how to cherish and love themselves. Please start by asking for help, love yourself well, and learn the wisdom of life, social rules, and psychological laws. Patients, please make the best choice for yourself!
For obsessive thinking, I suggest you learn about Morita therapy. Don't pay attention to the negative thoughts in your mind, and do your best to do what you should do. After going through hardships, you will definitely rise from the ashes.
Go out and find something to do that you like.
Every adult will have it. Try to listen to other people's stories. Maybe your focus is not just on yourself. You will relax a little. This is the only way for adults. Shift your attention. You will gain different rewards by studying some of your own interests
There are many ways to do this. I will only talk about some of them here. If you are interested, you can communicate more. You can do this by adjusting your work, rest and eating habits or seeing a psychologist.
Random thinking may be human nature, and people will think about the bad side of everything. This will torture people, make them extremely nervous, and even cause anxiety and panic. The only way to solve this problem is to change your mind, find something to do, put aside the problems that make you anxious, reduce the time you spend alone, enrich your life arrangements, and accordingly reduce the number of random thoughts. time. To put it bluntly, there is nothing that cannot be overcome and there is no one that cannot be separated from. There is a saying that if something makes you cry, one day you will tell it with a smile. This is life. If you take it lightly, you will be relieved.
Don’t be controlled by society;
Personal destiny is controlled by the individual. Man himself is an independent entity, and a person's destiny is controlled by this independent entity. Romain Rolland once said: "Fatalism is an excuse for authors who lack willpower." Don't blame the tragedy of your personal fate on fate and society that made me like this. All of this is caused by your lack of self-control. Excuses for your miserable life.
Don't be controlled by society. Society can only influence you, but cannot control you. The only person who can control your destiny is yourself.
Conquer anxiety;
Where does anxiety come from? Different people have different answers. Women are anxious about their bodies and faces, men are anxious about money and status, and even children are anxious about the upcoming final exams. But ultimately, they are all uncertain about the future. Then there is the solution to anxiety: live in the present. As Matt Hager said: "If you want to conquer anxiety in your life, live in the moment, live with every breath."
You have anxiety disorder and social phobia, and you need to go See a psychiatrist and take some paroxetine