As for EQ, you just see that he doesn't have many friends at ordinary times. That's all. Why? Just because we are all mediocre, who will have many friends? In our minds, people with many friends are often good at words, but what they say has little gold content. It seems that everything can be involved, but they only know a little, and they have not reached the point of perfection in a certain respect. Such people look very popular, but they are often at the bottom of society, and most of the people around them are mediocre. True emotional intelligence can't be judged by the number of friends. What is high emotional intelligence in reality? Often people who know how to retreat and make progress, who know how to make concessions on certain things, and who know when to retreat and not make progress. Like Sima Yi, can you say that his emotional intelligence is low? Although the emperor apparently rejected him and his ministers snubbed him, his former generals supported him convincingly, and finally he decided the world. This kind of talent belongs to high emotional intelligence. When the emperor doesn't like you, he knows how to retreat from difficulties, hide his strength, and shine at critical moments, which is a high IQ.
For a person who does things, whether he has friends or not is only the surface of the problem, but we often lack substantive analysis if we want to know a person. Because we only saw his superficial behavior and superficial phenomena heard from others. But if we communicate with ourselves deeply, we can understand that such people are often much stronger than we think.
I am a lonely person. /kloc-married at the age of 0/7 and divorced at the age of 22. My ex-husband left a son and a daughter. Since then, my children and I have started a lonely life. After a long lonely life of 44 years, I became everything to Dont Ask For Help. I have an independent personality. Diligent and kind. These years have been good, and I am willing to help people who are not as good as me. But I really don't want to make friends. I don't like people coming to my house to play. I'm very keen. Withdrawn personality. But I'm not introverted. I also like to travel alone. Go every day; I can't stand anyone because of my long loneliness. No matter who I contact once or twice, I can say what will happen if I continue to associate with him. Where is the destination? Happiness is sadness. Take in everything in a glance. This is probably clear water without fish. I live a happy life now. My children have grown up, and my grandchildren have been brought up by myself. I have no worries about food and clothing now. I dress myself up every day. Although I'm not perfect. But I really can't accept anyone. I don't think a low-quality marriage is as good as a high-quality single. It is better to be happy than to please others. I don't want to get myself into trouble. If a woman can live independently, she will have a lot of troubles. Parents are princesses and men are princesses. I am the queen myself. Depend on parents, parents will grow old. Shit, men can run, too ……
I agree with this sentence.
With the increase of age and daily affairs, many people will eventually become "unsociable".
To tell the truth, I have become a "loner" now.
Not to mention the time before school, I joined the work in 2000. After taking part in the work, work 8 hours a day and take a day off every week. In those years, after work every afternoon, I always went home for dinner first. After dinner, I went to the game hall to play games (arcade) with my friends in the same village. Later, after playing the game, I had to find a restaurant to go home after dinner. With the increasing number of meals, sometimes, after work, I make an appointment with my friends to go to a restaurant for dinner in the evening. It is inevitable to drink a little wine when eating. Later, with the passage of time, friends would get together every three to five days.
Later, I got married and had children, so I had to arrange things at home before going out for dinner. I won't go out if there is something at home. In the years when children went to kindergarten, it was easier and they were free to go out and get together with friends.
Later, the child went to primary school and had homework every day. I always finish tutoring my children's homework before going out.
When a friend starts drinking, he can control the amount without fainting. Later, with the increase of drinking times and friends, the amount of drinking is also increasing, sometimes twice a night. Here, there is a kind of "drinking dizzy". Drunk sleeping in flower beds, drunk riding and wrestling, drunk losing your mobile phone, drunk losing your wallet, drunk losing your home and so on. All these things happen to friends. Then I gradually began to be afraid of drinking. In fact, I was afraid that my friends would faint (including myself).
I have a drinking problem. If I only drink half a catty of white wine, that's fine. Nothing will be delayed. But if I drink white wine until seven or eight o'clock, I can fall asleep at night, but I can't fall asleep deeply. The next morning, the class meeting was particularly "sleepy". I wanted to wait until the next afternoon, but I was still "sleepy" the next night. I would go to bed early to make up for sleep.
Now, working all day is very tiring. When I go home, I must help my children with their homework. I also want to write two questions and answers to make money from cigarettes. If you drink alcohol at night, you must control it within half a catty, and go home to wash and sleep before 10. So as not to affect the energy of the next day. But now all my friends are drinking, which is particularly difficult. So now my friends ask me for a drink, and I always hide. Don't go if you can, and don't drink if you can.
Many times I don't go drinking with my friends. A friend told me, "You haven't followed the crowd recently, so you can't go on like this."
I don't really want to see my friends, but I'm afraid that drinking too much will affect my normal work and family affairs the next day.
Two months ago, I was thinking, is the highest level of drinking at home "self-pouring and self-drinking"?
When my father was young, he went into business and the wine field kept on. I didn't work in the company ten years ago. In the past seven or eight years, I didn't go out to play with my friends, nor did I go out to drink with my former friends, so I just stopped joining the group. I always drink two ounces at noon and three ounces at night at home. Is this really the highest level of drinking?
When I used to like to cajole and drink with my friends, I became a person drinking at home. This is all a manifestation of "not following the group". I am gradually getting rid of my friend's "wine field" and becoming a "loner"!
Therefore, I quite agree with the saying that "the highest state of life is not sociable". With the increase of daily affairs and the growth of age, many people will become "unsociable"!
The highest state of life is unsociable, I don't quite agree with this statement.
I am an ordinary person. As an ordinary person, if you don't fit in with your family at home, it's hard to be at home and happy. If you don't fit in with your colleagues in the work unit, it will affect your work on a small scale and affect the work of the whole unit on a large scale. I still agree that comrades should be treated as warmly as spring. As long as they are gay, everyone should get along well. Even those who have opposed themselves, as long as they are not sincere, should unite with them for the sake of work. When I was a deputy company commander in the army, a monitor once contradicted me. Later, I became an instructor and became the head of the company. He was afraid that I would give him little shoes to wear and repeatedly make me admit my mistake. I told him that I was not a narrow-minded person. As long as you work hard, we are still good comrades. He put down his ideological baggage and did a good job. At my suggestion, he was transferred to be a volunteer and became the backbone of the company.
People are social animals, whether in life or at work, it is inevitable that you need me, I need you, and it is very important to get along with people. Even people who have opposed themselves, if you can repay evil with good, still regard him as a comrade, which is good for the relationship between people and work.
As the saying goes, the police with the highest gambling skills just don't go, and the police with the highest life are unsociable. They are all words of wisdom. People who really can't get along with others are not cultivated from the beginning, but the strength and courage that he has experienced success, frustration and failure on the road of life, which makes him feel guilty, he feels inferior and waits for success with the spirit of time, so this is the reason why he doesn't fit in. Take myself as an example. For more than 20 years, if I am allowed to sit at the mahjong table most of the time at home except from early to late, then I can really talk about the life of the emperor. If there were friends at the wedding reception, there would be 800, but later, because of the change of business, I became greedy and poor. After ten years and eight years, I lost touch with them, thinking that I am different today. They didn't call their grades. Now I can watch TV and news at home all day without going downstairs. Sometimes I go shopping and say hello to ordinary friends. I have been used to it for nearly ten years, but I haven't changed one thing, that is, I go downstairs to exercise for half an hour every morning. I always think that people have a healthy future.
Hello, everyone, I'm talking about chores. Let me talk about my personal opinion, so as to increase the advantages of my answer when everyone's judgment is insufficient. thank you
Personally, I have always been introverted and not good at communication. No matter at school or at work, I have less contact with people, so that there are fewer playmates, and I am basically alone. Perhaps it is because a person is used to it and introverted that he finds that he doesn't like to join in the fun. No matter what classmates, colleagues and friends ask to go out to play, they will refuse to go out. I don't want to go out and listen to what they say. I just want to stay in my room, watch movies and play games.
With the passage of time and the growth of age, I feel more and more insecure and inferior. When I really want to communicate with people, I am afraid that others will look down on me and feel inferior. Under this kind of thinking, I dare not make friends with others, and I am even more afraid of interacting with others and being alone in my spare time.
In fact, it doesn't matter if you are gregarious. The important thing is not to care about other people's eyes, but to be yourself. There is no need to associate with them. Continue to work towards your life goals.
I am a loner. When I was young, I suffered a great blow in my personality and had a deep understanding of my outlook on life and world. Often 99% people say this is right, but I give a different opinion. Some days, ten days or even ten years prove that the truth is here. How should I get along with others? But I'm not lonely or introverted. Even hit the village head and the mayor. Although I am not big, I never lock the door when I sleep alone at night. I firmly believe that as long as I am right and not afraid of ghosts knocking at the door in the middle of the night, my life will be short and happy, and my children will have careers and real estate in first-tier cities. As a little old man in a remote rural area, I should know enough. Now I have taken care of the old houses in the countryside for more than ten years, with flowers and trees all year round. But I still don't want to get along with the children. I'm going home to raise chickens and fish, learn a driver's license, go on road trip, and pick up the past again.
Have you ever seen a group of tigers? In droves, that's sheep!
About gregarious, you have to understand it the other way around.
There is nothing wrong with gregarious, because human beings are gregarious animals. Some people are extroverted and like to find a pleasure in the crowd, which is nothing and understandable.
But!
Some people like noise, others don't want to be disturbed.
It is your freedom to fit in. Being unsociable is human freedom.
Whether you like it or not is your business, but you can't tie people up, put a knife rest around your neck with your consciousness, and then carry it with you.
Everyone is driving in his own lane and has his own life track, so everyone should know how to respect and let go, instead of just stepping on the accelerator and hitting head-on.
This belongs to the perpetrators of private life.
You can't say that TA looks down on you just because people don't drink, and you can't say that people don't understand customs just because they don't go to karaoke together. People who don't take part in group activities are monsters, and those who don't follow plays say they have no mood.
In fact, people really don't drink, don't like singing, don't watch the series you watch, and really like silence.
People's emotions may be much higher than yours. People actually have their own groups, but you are not in their groups.
Freedom is priceless. You can't exclude people and question them just because you don't fit in. No matter what you think or do, you have no right to kidnap anyone.
Don't let gregarious become a kind of blindness.
Socialization should be beneficial! Gregarious and effective!
Luo Yonghao has a saying: "People with ideas don't fit in anywhere."
People who want to say something and make a sound are actually the least attractive. What do people who want to participate in everything and refuse everything actually want? I don't know.
Loneliness does not mean solitude, let alone a concept. Not all lonely people are lonely, but lonely people are definitely lonely.
Carina Lau once said that Tony Leung Chiu Wai could stay in a corner of the house and be silent all day and all night, saying that he didn't like publicity and attending activities.
But Tony Leung Ka Fai and Liu Qingyun still celebrate his birthday every year, and Chow Yun Fat and Felix Wong Yat Wa often go fishing with him in Dongshatou, New Territories.
In fact, he is not sociable because he just wants to be with the person he likes and what he wants to do.
No matter how good an actor is, he feels very tired in disguise. Have you ever won an Oscar? Or did you thank CCTV and MTV? Are you tired?
Even if you know all the people on earth, how many people on earth know you?
Some people go out to buy food, go shopping, take a walk, dance, listen to songs, read books, take a walk, exercise and travel in their spare time.
Some people have nothing to do, and a large group of people push cups for a change, eat, drink and be merry. A group of people get together to discuss entertainment gossip, current affairs and politics, and study Taobao discounts.
What kind of life is more advanced?
Most happiness is actually sensory happiness. Once you lose the support of external objects, this pleasure will not last. Therefore, the picture is a momentary pleasure.
Pleasure should last. Therefore, spiritual pleasure is the highest pleasure!
People whose way of thinking is not on the same channel often have no common language.
The higher the realm, what he wants is not a friend, but a confidant.
Excellent people can't integrate well because they know how to think about gains and losses and know how to distinguish seriousness from seriousness. Because they know better what they need and what they don't need than those who try to get along with others.
"Loneliness is a person's carnival. Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. "
How big the carnival is, how deserted it will be when it is over. Like-minded souls are the real fusion. What can enrich a person's loneliness is called realm!
It's really easy to try to be someone else; It's hard to be yourself with your heart.
How hard is it to be yourself? !
On the way to Excellence, you have to endure the positive contempt and ridicule behind you, and accept the attacks of various languages.
It is said that "the wood in the forest is beautiful, and the wind will destroy it." I insist that the more the wind destroys it, the more beautiful the wood is!
It is brave not to shy away from the secular vision! Openness is an ambition! Although "A Thousand People Walk Once" is lonely, it is ambitious! Very backbone!
Even in the face of criticism from all over the world, we are still not depressed. When a person's heart is strong enough, who can force you to give in?
Loneliness is not loneliness or isolation. It's just that the music is high and there are few people.
Really powerful people always bring their own light. They don't need to hold a group to keep warm, and they don't need someone to comfort them, because they are matches that can ignite themselves and burn sparks everywhere!
Aristotle said in "Politics": "Lonely people are either beasts or gods."
It is impossible for everyone to be satisfied when one person lives. Know how to please those who know, love and understand you, not everyone.
Take it if you like. Please don't attack if you don't like it. Some people don't want to act, they just want to be themselves.
"Not sociable" is a living habit of some people. There are many conditions for this phenomenon:
1. Having certain economic living conditions, being unsociable and living comfortably is also a living method. Carefree and spontaneous, I feel that I have reached the "highest level".
2. introverted and quiet. After years of experience and accumulation, I have formed my own talent, and I can live independently and maintain my life. I don't need to socialize much, such as writing, design, craftsman, philosopher, martial arts practitioner and researcher. If you are inspired, savvy, creative and effective in your major, you will think that this state is conducive to reaching the highest level of life.
3. Consciously "unsociable" to pursue the goals in your heart. The monkeys in Huaguo Mountain and the Monkey King are gregarious and lively. They don't want to wander around Taoism alone, and they are also on the way to improve their own realm, but monkeys who live in groups are still monkeys.
4. Improve in harmony and disharmony. The change of three stages and realm of unsociable/gregarious/unsociable. Wukong didn't adapt at first, so he accumulated talent and strength. Gregarious: the heart is higher than the sky, and there is no self-knowledge. I wanted to join the high-level "group", I wanted to be "the Monkey King", but I finally became "Bi Marvin". I finally realized the rules and retired from Huaguoshan to return to the monkeys. Later, he joined the Buddhist scriptures team and walked in droves. In the end, success is in its place.
If you are young and should work in a team, then you should get along with others and give full play to your personal abilities. If you don't fit in with others, if you find an independent way that is suitable for your own survival and conducive to your own development, then do it quietly. There is no need to be proud of what you have achieved: it depends on whether you are creating or not. What contribution does it make to society, others and the value of talents?
Isn't a person who sleeps late every day and does nothing the highest level?
There is a choreographer who doesn't fit in. He doesn't take part in group rehearsals during the day, dances alone at night, tries to figure out the innovation of self-enlightenment, and then wins the championship in one fell swoop. It can be said that it is because of his achievements that he interprets "being unsociable and reaching the peak". Or you can live.
Buffalo, wolves, lions, hounds and other animals in nature choose groups to enhance their own strength to resist violence and predation, while beautiful cheetahs with superb martial arts are "out of place" and hunt independently, but their food is taken away by despicable team hounds or lions. Wolves are strong because they are in groups.
Now there are many only children, and the living space is closed, so it is easy to become an "otaku". It is difficult to get along with others, so we should strengthen the collective activities of "getting along with others": football, group walking and communication with others. So as to eliminate the disadvantages of loneliness and depression and solve the marriage problem.
With the trend of social development, human beings have formed many "homebodies". Form a "home economy", living alone, shopping online in the building, and delivering food to the door through the window of the drone, which looks quite comfortable and enjoyable, with advantages and disadvantages.
You can choose not to be sociable, have no amazing achievements, and live a plain life comfortably, which is also a living method. But in reality, things are changeable and there is no eternal peace. We should also pay attention to those friends who lack help, once they encounter unexpected diseases, setbacks, problems, blows, bullying, attacks, difficulties, loneliness and helplessness.
There are many people in square dance, which has always been fun and gregarious.
Not gregarious, "you can tune the pipa and read the Golden Classics. There is no confusion between bamboo and bamboo, and there is no work in the case. " Seemingly wonderful, in fact, it was just that the author of "Humble Room Ming" was idle for a while, which made the city crush people's hearts, and the author later joined the world of mortals. If you want to go out of town, you want to go into town. Very vivid and quiet. You want to be quiet, lonely and lively, lively and quiet. Life is like this in a cycle.
What is the highest state of life? Some people think they have seen through the world, depressed, decadent, isolated and isolated. Some people hold a lot of wealth, money and power, thinking that they are at the peak of society, looking down on the people at the bottom and below in his eyes, unwilling to contact with them and unsociable. Some people think that they have made great contributions to society, and they are complacent and appear aloof, divorced from the masses and unsociable. These people all feel that they are very advanced and unsociable, but the most important question is, are these really advanced realms? My answer can only be: no!
What kind of realm is the real high realm of life? Insight into the social truth and the true meaning of life enables me to live in peace and joy, and at the same time, I am full of sympathy and pity for the society, and I am willing to make unremitting efforts for social progress and for mankind to get rid of suffering and pain. Such people have a high standard of living because of their high level of knowledge, and they are difficult to be understood by others because of their high level of knowledge, so they are unsociable. So he doesn't fit in. It's not that he deliberately doesn't fit in. It's not his desire. His desire is just the opposite!
Therefore, the highest state of life is not unsociable, but in the eyes of people who don't understand, he seems unsociable. It's a fact! ! !