There is a saying in Confucius' Family Talk: Making friends with good people is like entering Lan Zhi's room, but not smelling it for a long time.
Getting to know a person with high emotional intelligence is equivalent to taking a free emotional intelligence promotion class and benefiting for life; And if you meet someone who will only waste you, you will only suffer yourself and help others.
Learn to choose friends, and life will be much easier.
Share three kinds of friends worthy of deep friendship. Don't invite people who make you tired to get along with each other into your life.
Seeing a sentence "No matter how familiar the relationship is, revealing people and joking are two different things."
Earlier, Tang Wei and Lei Jiayin were interviewed together for starring in The Informant.
At that time, the host asked a question: What do you hate most about each other?
Lei Jiayin said brazenly that Tang Wei often went to the toilet while filming.
"Ten times, I want to go to the toilet three times. Every time I was in high spirits, she offered to go to the toilet ... "
Tang Wei began to collapse, with tears in his eyes, got up and left his seat, acting a little crazy. Lei Jiayin also asked incredulously, "Really?"
After her emotions calmed down, she went back to her seat to apologize, saying that she didn't mean to, and I'm sorry that her unprofessionalism dragged down her partner.
Afterwards, Tang Wei explained that when he came back from giving birth, he got sick while filming, and his physical function declined after taking a lot of antibiotics. Frequent urination is one of the side effects.
Although Lei Jiayin didn't mean to poke his friend's sore spot, it was really unpopular to talk about other people's privacy in public.
Respect other people's privacy, but keep your mouth shut for yourself. Don't talk about other people's privacy, so that the relationship between the two sides can be stronger.
Do you remember the hot search on Zoe's best friend's public chat record?
There is a passage in "Actor in Place" because Zoe modified her makeup and hairstyle. Director Jing M.Guo told her angrily that if she changed her hair style and put on a lot of makeup in the future, don't shoot!
After the program was broadcast, Zoe was strongly criticized, saying that she did not respect her predecessors and was not worthy of acting. Even if she sent Weibo an explanation, she didn't get any relief.
At this time, Zoe's best friend "Budao" sent a chat record certificate. In the chat record, Zoe and her best friend talked about their unsatisfied jobs. However, the content of the chat revealed Zoe's prejudice against her tutor.
As a result, Zoe was scolded even more.
If you have inappropriate privacy, saying that you think you are a "hero" is actually more harmful to your friends, and most of them are hypocritical.
There is a saying in Disciples Rules: "People have shortcomings, don't expose them; People are private, don't say it. "
To measure a person's speech is to measure a person's scale. A friend who really deserves to make friends knows not to talk about other people's private affairs, but he should be careful about his words and deeds.
See a sentence on the Zhihu:
"I lent you money, and you took advantage. I asked you for money, and you called me stingy. Finally, I became a villain. "
Many times, it is always difficult for us to refuse a good friend's request. When we meet people who are demanding too much, borrowing money becomes a matter of course as friends, and asking for debts from friends seems to be a disloyal friend behavior.
I thought that between good friends, I never talked about human feelings and "borrowing and returning", but I met a friend and had a social EQ class.
I gave her a delicious food today. She must find something to exchange with me on the spot. It was hard at first, and I didn't think it was necessary. Before good friends "owe" each other something, the relationship will be stronger.
But she is very persistent. As long as it is a favor given by others, she will find a chance to return it.
Every time someone gives her a gift or money, she will return it to him in another form. How much money she owes others, she will write it down in her notebook and keep it in her heart.
Even the takeout that her boyfriend ordered for her these days, she memorized it. Who else can be so decent?
Both male and female friends should settle accounts clearly, let alone between friends?
The highest realm of social communication is: mutual interests are not owed, and interpersonal relationships are bound to each other.
I'm afraid it is the purest and most precious thing to strip away friendship other than interests in this way.
Regarding the hot search for celebrity gifts some time ago, she said this: "You always have to return something given by others, not to mention such a valuable thing. What do you want to pay back? With the love of fans "
I don't accept things that I can't afford or don't want to return. I only accept gifts and wealth from friends that I am willing to associate with and that I can afford. Friends are never a tool you can ask for.
Think of a story, classmate A, living expenses are often spent on cosmetics, so that he always has no money to eat and always borrows money from his roommate.
Roommates feel that after all, the relationship is so good that it is nothing to eat a few meals. In the back, classmate A not only did not restrain himself, but even intensified his efforts. He even asked his roommate to "borrow" money for a week's meal, and sometimes his roommate himself was not enough.
A classmate also said, "I especially hate people settling accounts with me." Is the calculation between good friends so clear and interesting? "
"After all, we have a good relationship, otherwise how could I find you!"
Take the feelings with friends as the weight to satisfy your own interests, and such friendship will be broken at once. Making friends with such people will eventually hurt yourself.
A good relationship is not a reason to get into debt or force others. People with high emotional intelligence never owe others anything.
If you meet someone who always asks you for money and never "returns", then she is probably not sincere to you. In this life, please stay away from such rotten people.
Blake said, "Forgiving each other's shortcomings is the gateway to heaven."
Being able to tolerate others in principle, make others comfortable in front of others, and make yourself comfortable behind others is a kind of ability with high emotional intelligence.
Master Zhu is a hairdresser, who has been cutting hair for the Prime Minister for more than 20 years. His friendship with the Prime Minister is called "friendship with Bao".
Once shaving, Premier Zhou coughed and cut his face, which made Master Zhu deeply uneasy and guilty. Premier Zhou comforted him and said, "You can't blame this. I didn't say hello when I coughed. Fortunately, you hide the knife quickly! " Master Zhu was deeply moved by the words of the Prime Minister.
It can be seen that tolerant language can communicate with the soul and strengthen feelings. On the other hand, if you care about your friend's mistakes and deeply blame and dislike them, two people will not go far, and the relationship will become more and more rigid.
Shakespeare once said: "tolerance moistens the earth like a drizzle in the sky, and it blesses those who are tolerant;" And bless those who are tolerated. "
In 2006, Hugh had a car accident and left a scar on his face, which was fatal to an actor.
But for driver Xiao Kai, Hugh chose to let the other team continue to be the driver of his team.
In this regard, Hugh said, "I want to ask Xiao Kai to continue to be a driver. The whole world can blame him, I can't. "
Hugh chose to forgive Kay, which may be a chance to make amends.
He saved the reputation of Xiao Kai's career with his tolerance and understanding, and their friendship became deeper and deeper.
Come back to us, if there is always someone around you who haggles with you and always treats your unintentional mistakes as ulterior motives, you will really feel very tired.
We don't have to compromise, but we should learn to screen our friends moderately.
We will meet many people in our life, and those who really make you feel comfortable with each other are the people you are worth interacting with.
Getting to know a person who is not tired and has high emotional intelligence is a valuable asset and a "good friend and mentor". Those who get along very tired and embarrass you, please stay away from them all your life.