If you want to do something but can't figure it out, the most important thing is that you don't know how to expand or maintain your connections.

I feel that some people feel that this society is too realistic and choose to stand indifferently and go against the society; some people simply give up on themselves and use various excuses to stop themselves from moving forward; and some people are on the road to expanding their network of contacts. Scarred and scarred, I still don’t know how to reflect on myself, so I choose to continue to move forward arduously.

Let me introduce an effective method to you. This article will first give you an outline so that you can understand it. Later, I will introduce the operation method and experience in detail.

The article is a bit long, so please be patient if you need it, but it is definitely informative and I believe it will be helpful to you after reading it.

The iron law of connections:

If you want to accumulate connections, what you can do is to continuously accumulate your own value and continue to export your own value. When you can help more and more powerful people, your network will become wider and wider, and the quality will become higher and higher.

Effective network expansion is always the winner. Anyone you meet must ask yourself: "Why does he help me? What are the three reasons?"

Step one: Regular analysis and diagnosis of the network of people

1. Error in the structure of the network of people (6 types of network structures) Reasonable)

A. Look at everyone in your network. What benefits can you bring from your interactions with them? Does it meet the 6 types of network classification?

The first rule of networking is to reverse the concept of "heroes are judged by their numbers" and limit the number of people you communicate with, because your energy is limited, so you must be focused and efficient without wasting it.

My network of contacts all has levels, and each person’s actual situation determines his level. Generally speaking, everyone focuses on the circle they are in, moving up and down to expand their network of contacts. The difference is one level and the difficulty of integration is relatively low. Every ordinary person progresses from the lower level up, just like playing a game. You have to constantly fight monsters and upgrade, and you need more advanced accessories, weapons and abilities to compete with the big boss. Giving you a big boss at the beginning is definitely a good idea. If you can't beat it, not only will you not be able to beat it, it will also dampen your confidence.

Networks are different from friends. Networks are more based on interests and are a kind of "equivalent exchange". Only relationships that are beneficial to both parties can be called connections. The so-called hugging the thighs has no meaning at all. When you don't have the qualifications to be an equal, and when you don't have the resources that others need, there is no point in hugging others.

B. To what extent do these interactions energize you? Or are they stimulating negative emotions in you (resolutely get rid of them)?

2. The network relationship is wrong (the network relationship matches with depth and breadth)

A. Judging the distance between each other: The value of the network is determined by the party with the greater psychological distance between the two parties. Don't be wishful thinking

Don't blindly join the circle. The circle is not equal to your network. Networks that cannot be cashed in are like vampires and will only drain your capital and savings. Networking is not about how many people you use, but how many people you help. A truly effective network must be based on equal exchanges and mutual benefit.

Networking is not about how many people you know, but how many people know you. Networking is not about how many people you have dealt with, but how many people are willing to take the initiative to deal with you.

If, finally, one day, you become an expert in a certain field, you will be pleasantly surprised that truly valuable and so-called efficient connections will break through the door. The people you meet will come from completely different levels and from all kinds of unexpected and different directions. And you yourself are no longer the useless person you were in the past. You are no longer a "taker", you play the role of "helping others" - few people hate well-intentioned help, not to mention that you are asked to provide help. .

3. Errors in human network behavior (interaction between human networks, natural, efficient and practical)

A. Whether the specific business behavior of type 6 network is wrong or embarrassing, it must be practical and efficient.

With the popularity and development of WeChat, "scanning WeChat" has become a way for many people to "get to know each other" and has become the first step for many people to establish personal relationships. But what about after adding friends? After all, the chat in WeChat is across the screen, and the other party cannot feel your expression and tone, and will have completely different reactions to the messages you send: some people hate voice messages lasting tens of seconds; some reject fancy dynamic emoticons; some Being extremely sensitive and tired of typos... When they build up a bad impression of you through some small fragments, it will only detract from your professional image.

Or, you just want to go to Moments to like it, leave a message to interact, and make your presence known. This is understandable, but don’t think that this is your network.

And those who are not excellent often do not know such a seemingly simple truth. They do not even realize that their situation can only make them play the role of "takers"; and then put their every " "Exchange" turns into "unfair exchange", and the exchange is more likely to fail in the end, because no one likes "unfair exchange"; every time the exchange fails, it further causes one's own losses, so that the resources one owns are not reduced in quantity. , that is, quality declines, further making it more likely that you will become a "taker" - a vicious cycle, and you may even never be able to turn around.

Please stop ineffective social circles and build effective connections in 6 steps and 14 tricks (in-depth information)

Step 2: Regularly eliminate the bad and keep the good in your connections

1 .Which of the six categories of connections are overcrowded? Look at the types of people who take up too much of your time in terms of function, level, and region, and think about whether this is necessary

2. Eliminate those who consume too much of your energy or cause bad behavior people, or minimize contact with them

3. According to the relationship and role, the six types of connections should be replaced, deleted, and added from time to time;

The third step: establish Regular review of 6 types of network relationship structure & classification

(Notation method: use a series of indicators to describe the network, and record the parts you think are important)

1) Like What kind of address;

2) How did the two parties get acquainted;

3) Who are the most common friends between each other;

4) What is each person’s birthday, the lunisolar and solar calendars should be separated, and the year and year;

5) What is the relationship between the two parties;

6) What are the important experiences of this person;

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7) What are personal preferences;

8) What is the situation of parents and children;

9) Graduation institution;

( Recording method: record relevant dealings with connections (for example, time investment, financial dealings)

1) How much time and financial investment you gave the other party, the corresponding time, and the value of the return;

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2) Record the reasons and events for each interaction. And you must make sure through communication whether you are within the scope of the other person's network, and don't make wishful thinking.

1. Annual target of 30 people

2.30 people with new skills/new information

3. 30 people in power (resource provision, political support, corporate guidance , project coordination)

4. 20 relatives

5. 20 friends

6. 20 people with a sense of the value of life (helps to cultivate both internal and external self)

Please stop ineffective social circles and build effective connections in 6 steps and 14 tricks (in-depth information)

Step 4: Expand and build

(Position yourself: based on 6 types of connections to position yourself differently: Nodes; Experts; Celebrities; Assistants, etc.)

People who make brands know that the brand must have a "positioning". In fact, each of us also has a personal brand, but we are not responsible for it. It's called "reputation". If we want to achieve good marketing results in the network market, we should also have a positioning, which is our "personality".

There is a saying that "if you bloom, the breeze will come." As long as we firmly be ourselves and live a life-defying life according to our own ideas, we will naturally exude an aura that will It will attract those who recognize us.

Some people may say, "If you are too individual, you may lose some friends who do not recognize you."

I said, brother, you haven’t owned them at all, so what’s the loss? It's not enough to say anything, so why do you have to distort yourself to please them? If you want everyone to like you, there is only one result in the end, and that is that no one cares about you.

Node: usually knows a lot of people, they are likely to be the initiators of the network, or they may be well-connected people. They are very good at getting along with everyone. Suitable people: involved in many fields; can discover many possibilities among people in the circle

Experts: Experts are usually people who have information. They know the information in a certain field well, so everyone will Depend on him. Suitable people: knowledgeable; possessing specific social resources and advantages.

Celebrity: A person who is good at selling his own opinions and himself to convince others and has a charming personality. Suitable people: People with strong appeal, charming personality and good eloquence.

Assistant: Do a lot of coordinated service work. Suitable people: People who are willing to help everyone and have a green leaf mentality.

(Use good skills: capable image + speak less and listen more + show ability and value at the right time + show potential when you are not capable)

1. Export your own value, build potential energy, and amplify Your own "exploitable value"

The value of your network has nothing to do with how long you have known him or how many times you have drank with him. The only thing that matters is how much you use him. value. The greater your use value, the more he will help you.

Instead of spending time getting to know more people, it is better to spend time improving your personal value. For example:

1) Your position power or personal influence;

2) Your financial resources;

3) Your wisdom or professional and technical ability;

4) Your personal charm, such as good looks, humorous speaking, and noble personality;

5) Your interpersonal network;

6) You fame, etc.

2. Go with what the person likes, have clear goals, and take the initiative to strike up a conversation

Aimless conversation is a waste of time for both parties. You must think clearly about what you want to know before taking action. Who is a person? If you don’t think clearly, don’t act.

Generally speaking, there must be a reason to strike up a conversation directly. It is best not to say something like "Let's get to know each other. Many friends lead to many paths." Everyone is very busy and does not have time to make friends aimlessly. You'd better have a specific thing to ask him about, and it's good for him. For example, if you want to meet Jiang Nanchun, you'd better say: "Mr. Jiang, our company wants to do outdoor advertising. Can we meet and chat with you?"

Communication with connections is one step. What can be built in one step is not a deep and evenly matched cooperation that can be achieved just after meeting. It is recommended that you start with an invitation to have a working lunch. The environment during the meal is relaxed. In a relaxed environment, both parties can have a deep understanding and have the opportunity to enter the next step of cooperation.

In communication and negotiation, the main focus is to create value for others. Although the purpose is to achieve cooperation, you must first give value to the other party. You look at what you need for a potential customer or partner, so your chat should be in-depth enough to understand his needs and see if you can provide the other party with these help. Even if it doesn't solve a particularly practical problem, it is very helpful to be able to provide some information and resources.

3. Use *** to talk about the same topic

For example, since you are having a dinner together, you can start by talking about eating. You can talk about how the food is cooked, what you usually like to eat, and any good restaurant recommendations. Personally, I am a loyal reader of Beijing Consumer Guide. I like to try new places. If the food is good, I recommend it to my friends, and everyone likes it. It's very natural to use food to connect with others. Then move into areas that are familiar to each other.

4. Make good use of the "platform" and get twice the result with half the effort

The platform mentioned here specifically refers to a career that allows you to gain a larger social network. Typical platforms include: media reporters; chambers of commerce , industry association or entrepreneur club staff; NGO organization staff; trainers, consultants; civil servants.

All professions that require dealing with people basically have platform attributes. For example, salespeople can establish a network of contacts targeting customers, marketers can establish a network of contacts targeting agencies, and buyers can establish a network of contacts targeting suppliers.

If we think about it in reverse, those who have a "platform" behind them are also worth getting to know. We can connect to the social network behind them through them.

Create some seemingly "natural" opportunities to get to know someone without any utility. For example, when attending a dinner party, deliberately sit next to someone you want to get to know.

When attending a meeting, go and say hello to the friend you know first, and then he will usually introduce the person he is chatting with to you.

5. Let others introduce you

Find an intermediary and ask him to help introduce you. The other party will usually give you face;

6. Take the initiative to establish a circle of friends Connections

Chatting up can only solve the problem of "knowledge", but the connections that are truly valuable to you are "familiarity". How to achieve this leap? You'd better have at least one "deep conversation." One in-depth communication is worth countless casual acquaintances.

After you successfully strike up a conversation with someone, it is best to make an appointment with him for an in-depth communication within a month. You can invite him out for coffee, visit his office, or have a meal together. Some people like to participate in "dinner parties" and join "circles". The input-output ratio of such things is very low. It is best to limit the number of people eating to no more than 4 people. A conversation with more than 4 people will have no effective information.

7. Give first, take later, create value exchange

Don’t think about value exchange, but think about providing value first. Only by sharing what you are good at with others can you increase your own value. Everyone has their own area of ??expertise. Anything you learn may help you expand your social circle. When you help others without expecting anything in return, others will truly open their hearts to you and be willing to help you promote your work. Good reputation will naturally bring you new connections.

For example, taking an ordinary bank teller as an example, how much savings does he need to withdraw in a year? Normally it is about 30 million yuan. I met a fan on Weibo. She came back from Australia and I admired her very much. It stands to reason that her connections in the country must not be good. She now works as an account manager at a bank branch in Zhejiang, and has saved 400 million yuan a year. I think this guy is pretty cool, I need to meet him. It just so happens that I am working on Pegasus Travel, which supports the service industry and entrepreneurial enterprises. There is an entrepreneurial enterprise in Zhejiang that specializes in rural leisure hotels. When I went to meet the CEO of our startup, I met her together. As a result, within a few minutes, she came over holding the boss's hand. She told people: "I think we should cooperate." The boss said: "Cooperation... there are many banks that want to cooperate with us." This means that there must be a slight threshold. So she asked: "What do you do?" The boss said: "We are in the leisure hotel business." She said: "Okay, can I buy a card for my mother?" In fact, the card only cost four to five thousand yuan. . After buying the card, she said, "I'll buy your card and you deposit the money with us." She deposited it. Her response is very fast. As long as it is a relationship, she can be contacted. As long as it is a dish, she will go to the vegetable basket. It is as simple as that.

In fact, it is not that difficult to establish independent connections. Usually as long as you can be gregarious, people will conduct minimal transactions and cooperation with you. For example, if there are many people who want to buy insurance, and you happen to be in the insurance business, don't try too hard to sell them. First spend 500,000 yuan to study for an EMBA, and then develop all the classmates in this class into your customers. In this way, if you invest first, there will be output.

For example, a restaurant owner is obsessed with Jay Chou. You happen to have two tickets for Jay Chou's concert, but suddenly you have other arrangements and you won't be able to use these two tickets, so you give the tickets to The restaurant owner. What was his reaction? "From now on, let me use this place as a canteen. You can eat whatever you want and drink whatever you want. You give me the money and I will help you." This has a characteristic. When you give your resources to others, others will use them at a very low cost. Returning your own resources to you is called resource transfer.

When people give first, they receive a lot of help.

I do this all the time. Before I started Pegasus Brigade, I basically worked for charity. I often gave lectures to my classmates, but I didn’t charge an appearance fee. If things develop normally, more than 10 years later, some of my classmates will become bank presidents. When they meet again, they will say: "Teacher Yuan, I listened to one of your classes 15 years ago." At this time, if you Once there is an order, it will naturally be given to me first. This is long-term trading.

You must keep asking yourself, why should others help you? How to ferment your social network so that others are vying to help you? Who you go with will determine your future.

What is a network? Networking is not about how many people you know, but how many people want to know you? The people you respond to are your network resources, and there is no fixed ratio between the number of people you respond to and the number of people you know.

In the real society, anyone who thinks about expanding and managing connections regards social interaction as an investment, hoping to make some “useful friends” through social interaction. However, friendship is made between two people. If you want to make useful friends, the premise is that you must also be a "useful person" in the eyes of the other person. If you have no immediate or long-term use value, will others be willing to make friends with you?

Therefore, what kind of network resources a person can have depends on his or her own status, wealth, knowledge and other strengths. A person without strength has no use value in the fame and fortune market. A person without use value will naturally not have the ability to expand contacts. Therefore, expanding your network through social networking is wishful thinking, both offline and online.

Please stop ineffective social circles and build effective connections in 6 steps and 14 tricks (in-depth information)

Step 5: Efficient utilization

1. Give first, then give Take, try to provide value to the network, and the relationship is reciprocal

2. Lateral thinking on the efficient use of the network: Try to use the network as efficiently as possible, and whether it can also satisfy your needs in another aspect (such as personal development) need?

Step Six: Relationship Maintenance

Carry out timely/appropriate maintenance of time and finances for personal connections, and do things that provide help when needed, not things that are icing on the cake.

1. Remain sincere: (Be true to yourself, think from someone else’s perspective, don’t be too utilitarian)

2. Remain equal: (Both parties have a good match, be confident, show ability rather than prove it )

Liu Run invited great people to share his thoughts on three methods: Lesson 1: What we do is valuable to great people, and we are even grateful. For example, the entrepreneurs we invited can use this opportunity to convey their thoughts, perceptions and personal brands to more people. Lesson 2: Every entrepreneur represents the company behind him. As representatives of the company, they will not only gain a sense of accomplishment and honor by expressing their opinions, but also in terms of commercial value, it will also allow more people to understand the company's business philosophy and values. Lesson 3: This matter must be valuable not only to the guests, but also to me and the users. When something is of no value to one of the parties, then it cannot be done. In addition, we treated these guests with full respect and consideration. For example, we will respect the time and arrangements of these guests and will not take advantage of them. At the same time, our team will screen out ten questions for the professor in the early stage, and the other party will choose two or three. This will not only give the guests room to choose, but also reduce the workload of the other party as much as possible.

To be very honest, I hardly spend any time on networking. I personally believe that the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. For a good interpersonal relationship, there is no need to eat together every day or give gifts during holidays. Many people try their best to please others or work hard to build connections, just so that one day they can help you. This state is wrong.

My own method of keeping in touch with others is very simple. For example, when I hear a certain point of view or see a certain information, I suddenly think that this point of view or information may be helpful. To my friend who is an entrepreneur, I will just pass this thing on to him. I actually didn't have any purpose, I just thought this thing would be valuable to others, so I gave it to him. Yes, this is a basic mentality that you must always maintain - put your value into others without reservation.

At this time, this matter has become the most basic method and logic of human connections. If you continue to exert yourself, continue to shine, and find that you cannot help some people, it only means that you are of no value to them for the time being, and they are not your connections for the time being. Slowly wait until one day, when you have the ability to help him, he will feel your help to him. Do your best to help others without any purpose. I think this is a particularly important thing. Therefore, I will insist on sharing my new ideas in the circle of friends.

There are even many friends who have developed the habit of checking my circle of friends every day because they think my sharing is valuable.

3. Remember to give: The basis of your network is your "value of being used" (do what you say, take the initiative to give, ask others for help and give at the same time)

4. Less " "Flatter" and "mutual support"

In the network market, those celebrities and high-end people are like hot stocks. Everyone wants Baji and them, but the threshold is too high, how can small investors catch up? superior? Even if you spend a lot of money to buy tickets for a certain conference, and you are even lucky enough to take a photo with Mr. Ma at the venue, what will happen? Flattery has the highest cost and the smallest benefit. My suggestion is to do it as little as possible.

There are two types of people we should invest in the most:

The first type is people who are at the same level as us. They have similar social status, are in similar stages of life, and have the greatest intersection when doing things. , there is an equal "mutual assistance" relationship between everyone. In fact, Diaosi’s counterattack usually happens in a group of people. Have you heard of names like Manet, Cézanne, Monet, Renoir, and Pissarro? They are both famous Impressionist painters. 150 years ago, they often met together at the Gaelbois Café in Paris. They jointly created the new school of Impressionism and shared the reputation of world-class painters.

The second category that should be invested in is people with a slightly lower social status than us, such as subordinates and young people. We should try our best to "support" them. If a person wants to go up, he not only needs someone above to help him, but also someone below to support him. Without any force, you will not be able to go up.

5. Cherish your character, the circle is very small (those who come out to fool around will have to pay it back sooner or later)

In interpersonal communication, reputation is particularly important. It refers to the way others treat you. evaluations and impressions, and guard your reputation as the most important thing.

The quality of your reputation is based on a responsible attitude. If you are willing to help others, you will naturally get a good evaluation. Your reputation determines whether you can integrate into other people's circles as quickly as possible and gain recognition from others.

6. Networking is investment, not consumption

Networking is also an investment. What is the investment goal? It's "face".

Face is equivalent to stocks in the network market. If you give someone a face, it is equivalent to buying a share of the stock issued by him. When you need it, you can ask him to return a face to you, which is equivalent to selling the stock. The stock is gone once you sell it, so don't use it easily. If you use it once, you will lose it once. If it can be solved with money, try to solve it directly with money, and try to use face on things that cannot be solved with money.