How to cultivate interpersonal skills
First, create a "popular" public image.
"Popularity" is actually interpersonal relationship. A person's interpersonal relationship, that is, whether he has a good "popularity", directly affects whether his work, study and life are smooth, and it is more related to whether he can achieve his goals smoothly. So how can we have a good "popularity"?
First, there must be tolerance. In interpersonal relationships, sometimes there are contradictions, bad feelings, barriers, personal feelings, constant cutting and confusion. What should we do? One way is to "narrow the road to the enemy", which is petty and miserable; Another way is that friends should make up instead of getting married-there is no doubt that the latter's attitude is commendable when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
Second, be kind. We should not be harsh and narrow-minded when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
Third, be a man. Care, love, respect and understand others. When people get along with each other, they should reduce the "smell of gunpowder" and increase the human touch.
Fourth, be honest with others. To tell the truth, there must be some chivalrous hearts, open-minded and open-minded, which makes people feel like spring breeze, so as to have a good popularity.
Fifth, if you want to be popular, you must be close to "good popularity." When you choose friends and network, you'd better choose popular people. And the closer you get to such a person, the better. Why? First of all, everyone knows that "people near Zhu Zhechi will be black". Secondly, he will bring you many benefits. First of all, a well-connected person must have many friends. If you become close friends with him, his friends will naturally become your friends. This is of great significance for you to quickly establish or expand your interpersonal network. Secondly, a "popular" person has many friends and a good mass base, and his energy will be even greater. Sometimes you will feel that it is much easier and faster to ask this kind of person to help you do something than to ask other people.
Second, adopt different strategies for people with different personalities.
1, arousing the interest of rigid people.
This kind of person, even if you greet him politely, he will not respond as you wish. He usually doesn't pay attention to what you are saying, and you may even wonder if he is listening. In dealing with such people, you will feel more or less uncomfortable at first.
When you meet this kind of person, you should take some time to carefully observe and pay attention to his every move, and find out what he really cares about from his words and deeds. You can chat with him at will, as long as you can make him react, it will be easy. Next, you should make good use of this topic and let him fully express his opinions.
Everyone will have their own interests and concerns. If you touch it a little, it will come out. This is human nature, so you must make good use of this person's personality and psychology.
2. Try to talk less about arrogant people.
Some people think highly of themselves and are arrogant, and often show a "self-centered" look. You are a rude and arrogant person, which really makes people angry. You are the most unpopular model. But how did you treat him when you had to contact him?
When dealing with this kind of person, you should be concise and powerful, and you'd better talk to him less. The so-called "talking too much is useless."
3. Silence, straight to the point.
It is difficult to negotiate with a person who doesn't like to talk, because the other person is so silent that you can't understand his thoughts, let alone whether he likes you.
For this kind of person, you'd better take a straightforward way and let him clearly express "yes" or "no", "yes" or "no"; Try to avoid circuitous conversations.
4. Pay more attention to hidden people.
There are many hidden people around us, who refuse to let people know his mind easily, and sometimes even say something irrelevant. Speaking of topics, they "talk about him from left to right."
When you meet such a hidden person, you should show him the information prepared in advance and let him make a final decision based on the information you provide.
Most people don't want to expose their weaknesses. Even when you ask him to say an answer or make a judgment, he deliberately pretends to be ignorant or evasive, making you feel "inscrutable". In fact, this is just a means for the other party to disguise themselves.
5. For those who make hasty decisions, step by step.
This type of person, at first glance, seems to react quickly. He often makes sudden decisions at the climax of negotiations, giving people the feeling of "lightning speed". Because most of these people have no patience, sometimes in order to show their "decisiveness", the decision will appear arbitrary and hasty.
Because "reaction" is too fast, such people often have illusions or misunderstandings about things. Their characteristics are: they have no patience to listen to other people's conversations, and often "take it out of context" and think that they are making decisions underground. Although this makes the negotiations faster, hasty decisions will mostly leave sequelae and attract unexpected side events.
If you meet this kind of person, you'd better divide the topic into several paragraphs. After writing a paragraph, ask his advice immediately, and then continue to do the problem to avoid mistakes and unnecessary troubles.
6. Try to avoid people who are too confused.
This kind of person doesn't understand you from the beginning, and it's futile for you to negotiate with him for a long time.
There are only two kinds of people who often make mistakes: one is that they never know how to reflect; The other is that the understanding ability is too poor to understand other people's conversations at all. For this kind of person, you'd better have less contact with him and find another way out.
7. Enough is enough for stubborn people.
Stubborn people are hard to deal with, because no matter what you say, he won't listen, only knows to stick to what he sees and die hard to the end. Dealing with such die-hards is the most tiring and time-consuming, and the result is often futile. Therefore, when you negotiate with him, you must pay attention to "enough is enough", otherwise the longer you talk, the more unhappy you will feel.
To deal with this kind of person, you can't avoid holding the idea of leaving early, casually perfunctory him a few words, don't waste time and energy and ask for trouble.
8. Be patient with people who are slow to move.
For those who are slow to act, patience is most needed in negotiation.
When dealing with people, you often meet such people. You must not worry at this time, because his pace will never keep up with yours. In other words, it is difficult for him to reach your predetermined plan. Therefore, you'd better be patient, show patience and cooperate with him as much as possible.
How to cultivate interpersonal skills
Be brave and come out.
If we can't go out bravely, it is very difficult to improve our communication skills. We should learn this in peacetime, in class or on the bus. Everyone around you, you should dare to say a word to others, not strike up a conversation, but say hello, and then tell others that you are introverted and are now learning to say hello to strangers. I hope you don't mind.
Smile more and look less dignified.
Some of them are more serious. Compared with others, this person is more serious and it is difficult to play jokes on them. Sometimes people just want to be happy together. Therefore, if we are serious people, we should learn to smile more and let others see your smile instead of majesty.
Stand up to jokes
When friends play together, sometimes they don't pay attention to joking. If you are a sensitive person, when friends are chatting together, or when they are in contact, tell them what they are sensitive to and remind them. Or you should think about whether you need to be like this all the time and whether you can face other people's jokes well.
Generous and helpful
Friends play together, don't always haggle over every ounce. That gives people the impression that this person is too stingy and calculates everything so clearly. If you want to improve interpersonal relationships, you should also learn to be generous.
There should be enough knowledge accumulation.
These are all necessary knowledge to expand your circle of friends, because only if you know more than others can you talk to you and know what others are saying. To improve communication skills, we should read more books, accumulate knowledge and learn to use what we have learned instead of hiding it all the time.
Have your own interests.
Interest will make you naturally open yourself up. When your communication skills can't be improved, first make clear where your interests are and find like-minded people, which will make you relax. By associating with these friends, you will expand your communication scope and learn interpersonal communication.
Unique way of thinking
Isn't the way of thinking different from the angle of facing the same thing? In the face of something we are talking about, the concept is different. Our unique way of thinking will make people more curious about you, will take the initiative to associate with you and want to learn from you, but this unique way of thinking is not a dead end.
Learn to create topics
We can't wait for everything to be said by others, and then we are the audience. Listening is certainly good, but you should also learn to speak more. After all, communication is a matter of two people, not one person. We should talk more and learn to talk to others, so that it won't be cold when we communicate with others.
willpower
No matter what, you can't do without persistence. If we really want to improve our communicative competence, we must learn to face it and stick to it, and we will certainly encounter many neglect and setbacks. However, to understand what you are for, don't give up, come on.
How to cultivate interpersonal skills
1, showing interest in chat partners.
Let the other person talk more
The best way to chat is to constantly show that you care about what others say.
People like to talk about themselves, and showing interest in others also means letting others talk more and share information about themselves.
The best way to show interest is to look at each other with curious eyes. Or ask, "then" and "next" can make each other talk.
If you don't care what others say at all, but are eager to show yourself, then you will be hacked by the goddess slowly.
Step 2 choose the right theme
Don't say shallow things.
Everyone has endless stories in his heart, which are all a fortune. Asking other people's stories requires you to have a caring heart.
The most suitable topics to talk about: hometown, work, travel, movies, food, recent books, hobbies.
On these topics, the other side often has many stories to share.
Don't say shallow things.
Even if you are a profound philosopher, you don't have to rush to ask people the ultimate proposition of "why is this tree a tree" and "what is the meaning of life" at the first meeting.
We are strangers. The most important thing is to be relaxed and happy. Don't worry too much.
Don't share too heavy experiences: illness, death, political stance, etc. Not to mention your dissatisfaction with the boss and the company.
3. Ask more open questions.
Talk more.
Generally speaking, open-ended questions make it easier for the other person to talk more.
Asking open-ended questions can encourage your conversation partner to share more information about him, instead of letting the conversation go to a dead end.
If you want to have an outing with the goddess, don't go straight to the point as soon as you come up. Even if it is only out of reserve, the goddess is likely to say no at once.
You can start with "I heard that the weather is fine this Saturday". What do you usually do on weekends? "At first, if the goddess says she is reading a book and drinking coffee, you can provide several cafes with emotional appeal for her to choose from; If the goddess says she wants to go for a walk, it's not too late to throw out suggestions for an outing.
4. Make your chat partner your teacher.
Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself.
Many people chat with their hands tied behind their backs for fear of "making a fool of themselves".
However, if you don't know much about the content of the conversation, but just let your chat partner teach you, then don't miss this opportunity.
Most people are willing to be teachers and teach others patiently.
This is also a skill to make others talk more, because others often need to explain in detail in the process of teaching you, and you can continue to talk according to what he has taught you.
In this process, you can wait for an opportunity to expand the content and talk about the topics you are good at. If the other person doesn't understand this topic, congratulations, this is your chance to show it.
Because your worlds are different, sharing their different worlds is the fun of chatting.
What should I do if I talk about ice?
Talking about news is not abrupt.
There is no more embarrassing chat scene than saying nothing on a topic and then not knowing how to answer it.
A nonsense man with strange bones may say, "Hey, it's a beautiful day".
The goddess got the message, smiled at each other, and an embarrassment was skillfully resolved.
Of course, talking about news, history, current affairs and other topics is easy to show that you are knowledgeable, but there are certain risks, so it is also crucial to choose topics that the goddess may be interested in, such as fashion circles that you don't know at all, such as the publishing industry she is engaged in.
On the other hand, dealing with people requires us to know what happens every day in the world, including those parts that you may not be interested in, and it is also a way to help ourselves learn more about the world.
6. Learn a good dialogue
Imitation is the most effective learning method.
Listen to comedians or talk show hosts and try to remember the types of questions they ask, how to follow up others' answers, and even how they use silence.
People who are good at chatting will also seize this opportunity to learn.
7. Sincerely praise the person you are chatting with.
Bring positive energy
Learning to compliment each other properly will make them willing to continue chatting with you.
After all, put yourself in the shoes. Who wants to be criticized and hurt in small talk?
It is also a unique skill to make everyone who chats with you feel happier after chatting with you. Passing positive energy is the best way to get closer to each other.
8. Everyone will be embarrassed and shy.
it's not a big deal
You are not the only one in the world who will feel embarrassed or shy, and others will feel the same way.
So never be afraid to speak because of silence once or twice.
After all, who knows who is outside the door? Or, how much can you weigh in someone else's little universe?
You have to believe that when you try to save the embarrassing situation, the other party thinks so.
9. Practice makes perfect
Chatting also needs practice.
Zuckerberg once published his list of things to do besides work.
In addition to reading a book every two weeks and learning Chinese once, there is another saying: meet someone outside Facebook every week.
This is undoubtedly a good suggestion for friends who are afraid of socializing and are not good at talking.