In adolescence, due to the development of self-awareness and independence, the focus of communication objects began to shift to peers, and the focus of feelings gradually shifted to close friends. Because the equal relationship with peers can provide parents with a sense of psychological stability, a sense of identity and opportunities and places to play their own initiative, share the same emotions, contradictions, troubles and difficulties among friends, and meet the needs of self-development through mutual help and respect. Junior high school is the peak period for students to make intimate friends. By the high school stage, teenagers have almost reached a period of rapid increase in making same-sex friends.
Second, the way of communication has changed. Teenagers feel uneasy and anxious psychologically because of the enhancement of self-awareness and the emergence of physical and mental contradictions. They need a place where they can talk about their troubles, exchange ideas, show themselves and keep secrets. At the primary school stage, gang-style communication can no longer meet this requirement, so the form of making friends began to pay attention to the characteristics of individual internal quality, and the content of communication gradually developed from the external level of activities to the internal level of understanding and experience. Their criteria for choosing friends mainly include the following aspects: 1 having the same interests and pursuits; Have the same anguish and troubles; 3 similar personality; They can understand each other in many ways, and so on. At this stage, the relationship between friends is very close and the established friendship is relatively stable and lasting.
Three stages of changes in the characteristics of choosing friends. Teenagers' choice of friends is based on their new understanding of the significance of making friends. The choice of adolescent friends is mainly centered on activities. As long as you get along well, you are friends. Friends should be absolutely loyal, honest and confidential, and abide by the principle of invisible partnership. Qi Xin rebuked his friend for his betrayal. The friendship between teenagers in high school is much more stable and profound than that in adolescence. When choosing friends, they pay more attention to their inner qualities and interests, that is, emphasize each other's temperament, personality, ability and hobbies. At this time, teenagers' judgment and self-adjustment ability have been relatively improved, and they can seek common ground while reserving differences. Some unprincipled problems between friends will not affect the continuation of friendship. Due to the expanding interest and inner enrichment of teenagers, the communication field of high school students is much broader than that of teenagers, and they are more inclined to choose different friends to meet their different needs.
Characteristics of
1. Expansion of horizontal communication. In extensive social communication, peers can exchange experiences and ideas with each other, but some contents are unwilling to tell parents, leaders and others. If it is not handled well, it has formed a small circle in horizontal communication, which deserves attention.
Second, the vertical interpersonal relationship tends to be two-way. It turns out that between the two generations, infants and young children are obedient to their parents, but it is different in adolescence. Young people have self-awareness and independent thinking. They have to distinguish between what they say to teachers and parents. In turn, he even influenced his parents with his own thoughts.
Three different * * * have special meanings. It is only a special social phenomenon that young people are single at home instead of relying on their parents to become independent. Before starting a family, you have to get in touch with the opposite sex, so heterosexual relationship has become a special part of interpersonal communication in youth. There is a difference between love and friendship in this period. Friendship is extensive. As long as you have the same interests, see the same things and feel the same, you can get along closely, learn from each other and help each other, regardless of the same sex and opposite sex. Friendship can be multifaceted, multi-level and all-round, but friendship is not equal to love. Love is exclusive, exclusive. To build a true friendship, we must first understand, secondly respect, thirdly trust and fourthly tolerate. Only in this way can the relationship between comrades be properly handled and the friendship be long-lasting. If there is contradiction between friends, it should be respect, understanding, trust and tolerance. Don't magnify contradictions and hurt feelings just because of a little thing. It is very painful to hurt feelings between friends, so young people should pay special attention to understanding and tolerance between friends and comrades in interpersonal communication.
deal with
The first is humanitarianism. Humanism advocates liberating people. It is not enough for people to be liberated only in the social and economic fields, but also in the field of life. When dealing with interpersonal relationships, people should be liberated from various unfavorable environments. Humanism also requires respect for people, especially respect, care and love for others in personality. Confucius said, "The benevolent loves others". To reach the realm of benevolence, you must love others. Love wants others to be good and good for them.
The second is patriotism. Lenin defined patriotism as deep affection for a country that has been consolidated for thousands of years. Patriotism can unite the people of a country, make them strive for progress and become a great cohesion of the people of all ethnic groups in the country. Patriotism will play a positive and important role, especially when resisting foreign aggression and striving for strength. A man with a skill must never go abroad to become famous and earn money. When dealing with interpersonal relationships, we should always put national interests and national interests first.
The third is collectivism. Collectivism should be a higher-level interpersonal norm than patriotism and humanitarianism. Collective management itself is an important content of interpersonal norms. Collectivism is a mixed synthesis of individual interests, collective interests and national interests. Personal interests should be subordinated to national interests and collective interests, and personal interests are consistent with collective interests and national interests. Personal interests and individualism are not the same thing. Personal interests refer to the interests that are necessary in our daily life and belong to the deserved part according to the provisions of the state. Individualism, on the other hand, is all for the individual, all for oneself, and wantonly destroys the national interests and collective interests. We must pay attention to individual interests, collective interests and national interests. When young people form themselves, they should put this brand in the depths of their consciousness. If people want to deal with interpersonal relationships well, they must take this as a criterion and understand that interpersonal relationships have so many characteristics and contents, so that we can have a correct guiding ideology when dealing with interpersonal relationships and grow step by step in practicing these ideas. Young people are selective in interpersonal communication. If the interests of the individual, the collective and the state are not considered, it is possible to form a small group of individuals and undermine the collective interests.