Many years ago, the president of Harvard paid a heavy price for his lack of respect for people.

One day, an old couple came to visit the president of Harvard University. The woman wore a faded striped cotton suit, the man a cheap cloth suit.

The president’s secretary concluded at a glance that it was impossible for these two countrymen to have any business dealings with Harvard. The man said softly: "We want to see the principal." The secretary replied politely: "I'm really sorry, he has been busy all day!" The woman said: "It doesn't matter, we can wait."

Pass For several hours they waited there. The secretary had no choice but to comrade the principal, who impatiently agreed to meet them. After the meeting, the lady told the principal: "We have a son who studied at Harvard for a year. He liked Harvard very much and his life at Harvard was very happy. But last year, he unfortunately passed away due to an accident. My husband and I really want to leave a memorial for him on the Harvard campus."

The president was not moved. Instead, he thought their request was ridiculous and said unceremoniously: "Madam, we are. We can't erect a statue for everyone who studied at Harvard. If that were the case, our campus would look like a cemetery."

The lady said: "No. We don't want to erect a statue, but we want to build a building for Harvard."

The president took a closer look at their costumes and sighed and said, "Do you know how much it takes to build a building? How much does it cost? Each building in our school costs more than $7.5 million." At this time, the woman stopped talking. The principal was very happy, thinking that they could finally be dismissed. The woman turned to her husband and said, "It only costs $7.5 million to build a building, so why don't we build a university to house our son?"

The Stanford couple then left Harvard. , arrived in California and built Stanford University with their sons in a few years.

The most important thing in communication between people is mutual respect, and avoid "judging people by their appearance." As the proverb goes: "I don't know which cloud has rain." Indeed, the lesson of the president of Harvard should be deeply remembered.

Bernard Shaw was a famous British dramatist and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature. Once he visited the former Soviet Union and saw a very cute little girl while walking on the streets of Moscow. Bernard Shaw played with the little girl for a long time. When he broke up, he said to the little girl: "Go back and tell your mother that you played with the great Bernard Shaw today." Unexpectedly, the little girl also imitated the adult's tone and said: "Go back and tell your mother that you played with the Soviet girl Anina today." George Bernard Shaw was surprised, and at the same time he immediately realized his arrogance and apologized to the little girl. This behavior of Bernard Shaw is still widely circulated today, and it also gained him the respect of more people.

Respecting others is the first principle of interpersonal communication, and it is also a kind of beauty. People who respect others will also be respected by others, because knowing respect can awaken others' self-confidence and motivation to strive, and guide others to succeed.

A New York jounin saw a ragged pencil salesman on the street and gave the man a dollar out of pity. But after walking a few steps, he came back to get some pencils, and explained apologetically that he had forgotten to take them. Then he said meaningfully to the salesman: "You and I are both Jonin, and you also have something." To sell." Almost a year later, they met again, and Jonin found that the pencil salesman had become a salesman. He gratefully said to the New York businessman: "Thank you, you gave me self-esteem, you told me, I am a businessman. ”

Not only should you help others with your actions, but you should also consider the other person’s self-esteem and respect the other person. Respecting others can help disappointed people see the light, help people with low self-esteem find self-confidence, and can even change a person's life.

People who respect others are often remembered by more people and receive help from more people.

When Roosevelt was running for president, his right-hand man Jim not only took the trouble to travel to and from the western states by train, he greeted and talked cordially with the local people and canvassed votes for Roosevelt. Everywhere he went, he maintained a people-friendly style, had a chance to have dinner with the locals, promoted President Roosevelt's political views, and had the most cordial communication with the masses. After returning to the East Coast, he immediately listed the names and addresses of all the attendees and compiled a list of tens of thousands of people. Jim wrote to them one by one according to the list. At the beginning of the letter, he addressed the other party by his or her name affectionately: "Dear Bill," "Dear Joseph," etc., and did not forget to write his own name "Jim" at the end of the letter. Just because Jim knew how to respect others, voters had a good impression of Roosevelt because of him and voted for Roosevelt with their precious votes.

In today’s etiquette, respect is the most basic principle and the most important. From a psychological perspective, everyone has psychological requirements for friendship and respect, and everyone desires to become a true member of the family and society on an equal footing. Any disrespectful behavior, such as disrespectful language and behavior that elevates oneself and belittles others, is not conducive to the establishment of harmonious interpersonal relationships. Moreover, respecting others is a state of mind, a habit and a cultivation. Therefore, do not decide how much you respect others based on whether they respect you or how much they respect you, but respect others from the bottom of your heart.

Principles of interpersonal communication

1. Principle of equality

Equality for all is the most basic moral principle and norm, and it is also the basic legal spirit.

2. The principle of respect

Respect is the principle of interpersonal communication determined by the social ethical norms of equality for all. Mutual respect is the basis for establishing good interpersonal relationships.

3. The principle of sincerity

Sincerity is the guarantee for the continuation and deepening of interpersonal communication, and it is also the basic requirement of being a human being.

4. The principle of tolerance

Tolerance means not caring about non-principled issues, being tolerant to others, and being able to treat the shortcomings of others based on the principle of "seeking common ground while reserving minor differences" tolerate.

5. The principle of mutual aid

Mutual aid refers to caring enthusiastically about others, thinking about others, and doing your best to help others in interpersonal interactions.

6. Credit Principle

Credit means that a person is honest, does not deceive, and keeps his promises.

7. The principle of understanding

Knowledge and understanding are the starting point for establishing interpersonal relationships and the basis for the in-depth development of interpersonal relationships.

Ways to establish good interpersonal relationships

(1) Master language communication skills

1. Learn to listen

2. Be good at listening Conversation

3. Use some humor

4. Encourage others to talk more

5. Avoid unnecessary arguments

(2 ), learn to use non-verbal communication

Refers to voice, body posture, clothing, time concept, eyes, posture, expression, movements

(3) Maintain appropriate personal space

A sense of proportion: timely, moderate, appropriate, appropriate

(4), learn to praise and thank you

Principles of interpersonal communication

University What to study? In addition to knowledge, the most critical and basic thing is human ability. College students should cultivate various abilities such as: interpersonal skills, innovative thinking ability, information mastering ability, learning ability and self-reliance ability, etc. Among them, the cultivation of interpersonal skills is particularly important. The great revolutionary teacher Marx once said: Man is the sum of various social relations. No one exists in isolation. He must exist in various social relations. How to straighten it out? These relationships and how to improve the quality of life involve issues of social skills. The moment college students enter school, their communication needs have been determined. Good interpersonal skills and good interpersonal relationships are necessary conditions for survival and development.

In the quasi-society of the university campus, we must face up to and solve the problems of being unwilling to interact, not knowing how to interact, and not good at interacting, shape our own image, treat interpersonal interactions with positive attitudes and behaviors, establish harmonious interpersonal relationships, and establish good interpersonal relationships. Forming a united, friendly and vibrant environment will be conducive to the formation and development of healthy personality qualities among college students. This is especially true in today's society where the pace of life is accelerating and competition is fierce.

The meaning of interpersonal skills: Social communication skills refer to the ability to properly handle relationships inside and outside the organization. It includes the ability to establish extensive contact with the surrounding environment and absorb and transform external information, as well as the ability to correctly handle relationships between superiors, subordinates, left and right. ability. There are generally three categories of interpersonal skills: one is the ability to express and understand, that is, whether a person can express his or her inner thoughts and allow others to clearly understand their own thoughts, and the second is to understand other people's expressions. A person's expressive ability can also directly prove the degree of social adaptation; the second is interpersonal integration ability, which shows whether a person can experience people's trustworthiness and loveability. It has a great relationship with the person's personality. But it is not entirely determined by it, it has more of a psychological meaning; the third is the ability to solve problems, that is, a major weakness of the current only child is strong dependence, poor independent problem-solving ability, and test-taking The shortcomings of education have seriously affected students' communication skills.

The core part of interpersonal communication is cooperation and communication. To cultivate communication skills, you must first have a positive attitude, understand others, and care about others. In daily communication activities, you must take the initiative to communicate with others, do not passively avoid them, and dare to contact, especially dare to face people who are different from yourself, and also Don't be afraid of your origin, appearance, and experience. Don't close yourself off because you come from a remote area, are not good-looking, or have less experience than others. Secondly, you must start from a young age, pay attention to social etiquette, and the little you add adds up; again, you must be good at doing it, and go out of school boldly. Eliminate fear, strengthen the accumulation of knowledge in communication, experience it in actual communication life, and master various methods and techniques in interpersonal communication. In addition, we must realize that in dealing with others, what moves people is sincerity. Make friends with sincerity and act with sincerity. Only sincerity can exchange for cooperation and communication with others. Sincerity is always one of the most precious emotions of human beings.

People who are decisive, independent, energetic, and confident can easily inspire others' motivation to interact, win their trust, and create a charm that makes people willing to interact.