Low-key luxury has connotation, high-end atmosphere adds class, rich humor

Upgrade posture: high-end atmosphere adds class, low-key luxury has connotation. Unrestrained, foreign style and deep, cool and awesome.

On his second wedding anniversary, Lao Wang went to see a psychiatrist: "After two years of marriage, I found out that I fell in love with a woman who didn't come home. What should I do?" Doctor: "Then what do you want? Try to find a way to get her to go home with you." Lao Wang: "I've tried this, it's very difficult." Doctor: "Why?" Lao Wang: "First of all, her husband doesn't agree, and secondly, my wife doesn't agree either." /p>

At the station, a young couple was waiting for the bus. The man pulled the woman over to kiss him, but the woman was a little embarrassed and ran away. The man was unhappy: "What's wrong? My wife won't let me kiss her anymore!" The woman pouted: "So many people are watching! Showing affection in public is something that only middle school students can do, okay!" The man nodded. The head is not moving anymore. Looking at their retreating figures, I couldn’t help but sigh: Today’s primary school students are so enlightened.

A friend and his girlfriend were going to go hiking on the second day and stayed in a hotel that night. Before going to bed at night, my girlfriend put a pillow in the middle and told the guy not to cross the line. The next day, my boyfriend woke up early and excitedly asked his girlfriend to get up and prepare to go hiking. Unexpectedly, his girlfriend picked up a pillow and hit him on the head hard, saying, "I can't even climb on a pillow all night, so why not climb your sister's mountain?

The people in the capital are so enthusiastic. ! As soon as I got off the airport bus, several people on electric bikes surrounded me and said enthusiastically: “Where to go? I send you! "Several women saw that I was very tired and asked with concern: "Do you want accommodation? "A young male white-collar worker came up to me and whispered: "Do you want a mobile phone? Apples are so cheap! "The most touching thing is that the employment situation in the capital is so severe. Uncle Youwei is still worried about me and sincerely asked: "Young man, are you looking for a job? "

Being ugly is a disease! Otherwise, why would a plastic surgery hospital be a hospital? (Jokes)

"Dad, did you bring me here?" "Of course not." "Hey, I'll tell you." "If we were to adopt, why would we choose you?"

A beautiful colleague complained that she always loses her stockings. As soon as she said this, several female colleagues started talking. After a while, a buddy who studied science said: According to the mechanics of materials, the main reason why stockings are easily pulled off is due to excessive tension, which causes plastic deformation. In layman's terms, it means thick legs. There are about a dozen "rolls".

I spend my days in reverse: exhausted when I wake up, and energetic before going to bed.

A sad choice of words. Fill in the blank: “Is this your_? "

"No, this is mine. ”

A. Monthly salary B. Annual salary

I have a two-year-old baby at home. One day I was playing with him on the bed. I picked up his little feet and brought them to my nose to smell them. He smelled it, and then made an exaggerated expression as if he felt it smelled bad. The baby laughed loudly, and then he imitated me and moved his feet to smell it. As a result, I felt that his expression was not fake. . . .

You got me drunk, you made me cry... Hu Xiaojiang, who was doing business in Xi'an, was robbed by three kidnappers and brought to Henan. He talked and drank with the kidnappers. They bought 1 bottle of liquor and each drank 10 bottles of beer. One of the kidnappers vomited and the other was drunk. The kidnappers were talking and crying and wanted to "make friends" with him. The ransom was also reduced from 1.2 million to 100,000. The kidnappers said they were Arresting him will not retaliate. In the end, Hu was successfully rescued... I told you not to mix personal feelings with your work!

I thought something so smelly must be disgusting when I saw durian. Out of curiosity, I bought one and took it home to give it a try. Damn it... it really didn’t taste good. My mouth was filled with blood when I stabbed it.

My classmate asked me if I knew there was a 410mm ultra-long night version. When asked what happened, she said that it changed her world view. I was curious about how powerful this sanitary napkin was. She replied, "Because I found that I am only as tall as four sanitary napkins. I feel so small." . .

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At five o'clock in the morning, when the entrepreneur Zhang Xiansen got off work from the company, the sky was already slightly white. Zhang Xiansen was so confident and ambitious that he couldn't help laughing: My competitors, you know the city at five o'clock in the morning What does it look like? Suddenly, a low voice came from behind: Robbery! This story teaches us to never doubt that there are people who work harder than us in this world.

The Internet has improved the efficiency of communication. But two Chinese characters have always been holding back, and that is "are you there"

When I was a child, I always had a question when watching Ultraman. Every time Ultraman was beaten to death by a monster, I would only let him go. Laser kills monsters. It wasn’t until today that I suddenly understood after seeing a comment from a person. He said: Are you just throwing bombs?

A best friend of mine was an intern in the facial features department of the hospital. One day After checking the guy, she directly wrote the word "handsome" in his physical examination report. Then she stayed up late that night and wrote a letter of apology.

She will definitely keep a key in her pocket when she goes out to do errands. , so that when you want to leave, you don't have to make up a reason, just say "I'm sorry, I have the key, let's go first~".