Text: Qingteng Creator

Since ancient times, China has not lacked tobacco, wine, tea culture, and table culture. The first lesson for parents to teach their children is to start with table culture, what should be done when cooking, what should be done before eating, what should be done during eating, what should be done after eating, etc.

Everyone has to do something and not do something. For new friends who have just met, table culture is the fundamental reflection of whether a person is worthy of deep friendship.

The so-called eating, generally speaking, is not only eating, but also drinking, such as tea, wine, drinks, etc. on the table, these are all drinks. From how to sit, how to pour tea, how to pour wine, etc., these are just reflections of a person's dining behavior.

However, whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, you need to pay attention to these three points at the dinner table:

1. Whether you pay attention to the feelings of others;

First of all, As for the agreed time, if you make an appointment in advance, you must not be late. If you are late due to objective reasons, you should notify the other party half an hour to an hour in advance. Whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are a friend or a lover, you must abide by this point. No one likes a person who does not respect other people's time.

The order of seating at the venue, the host and the guest. If you are in a restaurant, it is the innermost seat of the door, and the guest next to the door. If you are eating with a stranger and meeting for the first time, and he arrives first, sits on the entrance side, and lets you sit inside, it is obviously asking you to sit on the east side. Of course, it can also be understood as showing respect for you. This has a double meaning. It is mainly based on the meeting. determined by the purpose.

When ordering, does the other person only look at the price, or only orders what he or she likes without asking you if you like it? This is a very insensitive approach to other people's feelings. For example, the other party doesn't like spicy food, but I like spicy food, but I end up ordering spicy food, which makes the other party very embarrassed. If the other person eats very tastefully, he doesn't just look at the price, but you only consider that you may pay for it yourself and order the cheaper one, which will lead to a bad dinner party.

Whether it is a greeting when ordering or a concern when eating, it will directly give the first impression of strangers. It is easy for everyone to leave a first impression in their mind, so this kind of meal can also tell how the other person treats others.

Perhaps, many times when we talk about inviting people to dinner, we actually mean drinking at the dinner table. The quality of wine determines one's character. Through drinking, one can see clearly how a stranger behaves towards others, whether this can be a business deal, and whether it is worth having a close relationship. This is a very profound knowledge.

2. Can you treat each other with courtesy?

I have met some strangers. When we meet for the first time, we just use our own feelings and do whatever makes us feel comfortable. During the meal, before anyone else started eating, he started to eat heavily. I don't care what others are like, I just say I'm hungry and I don't care about that much.

Of course, in terms of table culture, there are great things to pay attention to when picking up food, pouring wine and water. Not filling the river dish means that the dish is in the same bowl, but only the side in front of you; not filling the cup of tea means not filling it overflowing when pouring the tea; not pouring half a cup of wine, except for red wine and foreign wine, and white wine Fill the glass full, the glass of red wine is half full; toast to the person who is the most respected person, if you respect the other person, you will lower your own book than the other person, etc.

It seems like etiquette in life, but this is actually our attitude towards them. If a person does not pay attention to etiquette, it will often cause others to feel disrespected. Especially when you are making friends or discussing business, if you are not careful, you may ruin the business.

Don’t have sex after drinking, and don’t make a sound while eating. It is very important to be able to control your emotions after drinking, not to talk nonsense, and not to be disrespectful when drinking. Being silent while eating does not mean that you should not talk while eating, but that you should not make bad noises while eating. For example, the sound of drinking soup, the sound of mouth hitting up and down, etc.

When saying goodbye for the last time, you should be concerned about how the other person will get home, and how they will report that they are safe when they get home. It seems very cumbersome, but it is also a sign of respect for others. Even strangers can feel cared for, and even strangers can give each other peace of mind.

Don’t talk deeply about privacy, and don’t exaggerate yourself. Whether a person can treat each other with courtesy is very important. People who are too exaggerated appear to be hypocritical and not worthy of deep friendship. If you communicate with each other attentively, without any selfish interests, and treat each other sincerely, this kind of deep friendship will not be bad even if it is just the first time.

3. Attitude towards expenses.

A friend once said: If you want to know clearly whether a girl likes you, just ask her out for dinner once. I asked why? He said: Women who can talk to you about the cost rules before eating are more principled women; if you don't ask anything before eating, it seems that you are a man and should pay, pat your butt and leave after eating. You can leave this kind of woman alone for a while; if it is a woman who takes the initiative to pay for the meal after eating, she may not necessarily like you. He treats money, will value friendship more, and will only treat you as a friend; For a woman like AA, you have to work hard.

This is also very important when it comes to making a deep friend with a stranger. Regardless of whether the other party is rich or not, those who rush to pay the bill may not necessarily be rich, but they must value friendship more than money. Friends who can distinguish money clearly show that they have a strong defensive mentality and do not like to be constrained by money.

Most people who only look at the names of the dishes when ordering are those who like it and can ask the other person first. This is to take into account the feelings of others. If you look at the price first and then choose the dishes, most of them are the saving type or the worrying type. Why?

For the frugal type, their thinking habit is to get a little cheaper, but it is not easy to make money. But for the worried type, they want to eat good and expensive food, but if they end up footing the bill, it will cost a lot. If the other party ends up footing the bill, they seem to be at a loss.

Regarding expenses, no matter whether the other party is a male or a female, I think that if it is a stranger, whoever said the treat will pay. If it is not stated clearly who is inviting the person, you can either be AA or take the initiative to pay the bill. It mainly depends on the feeling after communicating with each other.

No one owes anyone, so don’t think that men have to pay the bill, but women don’t have to pay the bill. This kind of thinking must not be allowed. Especially when a man meets a woman for a meal, he must clearly explain the cost first. It may not be a lot. This may affect a lot of business behind it. For example, in a previous restaurant, a woman took the initiative to ask a man to eat, but the place was designated by the woman, the woman ordered the food, but the man paid the bill.

Meeting is fate. It is not easy to become friends when you meet a stranger. It is even more precious to be able to have a deep friendship with a stranger for a lifetime.

You can tell a person clearly from these three points of having a meal: distinguishing interests, being courteous to each other, being honest and sincere, whether it is worthy of deep friendship, and whether there will be a next time. This is not a meal, but a meal. It's a friendship.

In too many first encounters in life, we all have to stick to our own principles. Once, a friend and I went out to develop our business. I originally asked him to invite him to dinner, but he said that we are still AA because we have no interest relationship and we will not receive any reward for nothing. This taught me a deep lesson.

Yes, no reward is given, this is the best way to make a stranger, and it is also the best principle to treat others.