one
Learn to love
Case background:
The status quo of the only child has led most families to give almost all their love and attention to their children. Since the birth of the child, his parents, grandparents and grandparents have been with him all the time. Everything he needs is replaced by adults, and everything he gets is taken for granted. The unprincipled love of parents objectively creates the selfish habit of children. They don't know that they still need to love and care for others, and they don't realize the pleasure of loving others. In our class, many children can't love like this. In kindergarten, they don't make people feel like unloved children, but at home, there are bullies, grandparents and parents everywhere, and no one is afraid. Instead, they tried their best to rely on him for fear that he would be unhappy. Case flow:
First Xiangxiang's grandmother came to pick him up. Xiang Xiang had a good time with the children. When she saw grandma, she asked her, "What delicious food did you bring?" Grandma said, "Ah, I came in a hurry today, so I didn't bring it." Xiang Xiang's face immediately became overcast, while grandma bowed to her grandson.
Analysis: In the one-child family, children are surrounded by all kinds of love, and there are no demands that children can't get. Therefore, when parents can't meet their requirements, children can't accept and don't understand their parents, but only complain. Imagine that such a child will be a child who loves his parents when he grows up. If he doesn't even love his own family, will he still love others? Saying "no" to children properly is actually love for children.
Second, Xiaoxiao's mother came to pick her up today. Mom looks pale today, Xiaoxiao said
I want to go to the supermarket after school. My mother said, "son, don't go today." My mother is not feeling well today. " But Xiaoxiao didn't think about her mother's health at all, just wanted to go to the supermarket and cry. As a result, her mother agreed
Analysis: In many children's homes, parents monopolize the opportunity of children's love. For example, when dad comes back from work, the child wants to hang clothes and put things for dad, but dad says, "Forget it, you are still young, go and play by yourself!" " "The child's awareness of love for others in infancy was blocked by his father's sentence" Don't stop ". Therefore, it doesn't matter whether children love others or not. They no longer care about others and don't know how to love them. Therefore, parents who really love their children should show pity in front of their children and give them another chance to love others.
Reflection:
While cultivating children to care about others and be friendly to others, we should pay attention to guiding children to feel the positive results of their actions. Some children are very caring, friendly to others, have others in their hearts, think of others first when they have something delicious, give them fun first, and always take the initiative to care when they see others in trouble, but every time they are friendly and concerned, they get negative results, such as never playing with their favorite toys. After a long time, parents and children will have a feeling of "bad intentions" or "loss" and "cowardice", and they will no longer be willing to do so in the future. At this time, adults, including parents and teachers, need to consciously guide, positively affirm children's friendly and caring behavior, give timely praise in front of peers, and let children know that parents, teachers and peers like it and get emotional satisfaction. In this way, children can experience positive behavior results and their good behavior can be maintained. A person who can love others can get others' love. Love is a feeling. A person can only feel his own value when he is needed by others; The same person cares about others and cares about him.
People can also feel endless happiness in this process. For children, learning to love is more important than learning more skills.
two
Influence students with love.
[Case introduction]
In classroom teaching, due to the contradiction between individual differences of students in the same class and unified teaching requirements, there are always some students who are backward in their studies. There are many reasons for students' learning difficulties, including students' own factors, family environment factors, parents' factors, teachers' factors and teaching materials. It is precisely because of the complex causes of students with learning difficulties that parents, teachers and students need to cooperate in many ways to change this situation. Students with learning difficulties generally have the following types: First, they don't want to learn. These children lack motivation and interest in learning, and often regard learning as a burden. They think that parents and teachers force themselves to study, forming negative rebellious psychology in their hearts, and their attitude towards learning is incorrect. Second, you can't learn. These students spend a lot of time studying, but often get twice the result with half the effort, which is the influence of improper learning methods or bad study habits; Third, there are obstacles in learning. These students are special children with congenital mental retardation. Only by determining the types of students with learning difficulties can we provide targeted counseling.
[generate background]
There is a student in the class named Yang Xiang, who grew up under the care of his parents. As an only child, he is meticulous, does not like thinking, goes his own way, regardless of the consequences, lacks a sense of responsibility when something goes wrong, and shows rebellious psychology. Lack of self-consciousness in learning, the homework assigned by the teacher to deal with things, do not want to do more, have no perseverance to overcome the difficulties in learning, weak foundation, so that academic performance is downstream. Doing something wrong, not accepting criticism, not letting others say it, showing strong vanity and resistance.
[investigation]
The mother has a low education level and is busy with business, so she has no time to urge her children to study, even to the point of indifference. When he got along with his classmates in class, he was selfish and grumpy, and his classmates didn't welcome him very much. Often criticized by teachers, they think they are not learning materials and give up on themselves.
According to the student's personality and psychological characteristics, after investigation, I think his personality problems come from the influence of family environment and school education:
1. In view of his spoiled childhood, he was regarded as the apple of his eye, did whatever he wanted, was spoiled by the main members of his family, and was too fond of him, making him live a life of reaching for clothes for food. Lack of self-care and self-reliance has developed dependence and inertia on others.
2. In the class, I lack the spirit of serious and hard study, and I don't want to think about difficult problems, and I don't want to ask others for advice. I don't know how to pretend to understand, and my knowledge is not strong for a long time. You have an inferiority complex. I think that's it anyway. I gave up and gave up on myself, which led to a decline in my grades. I always feel that everything is right, I don't know myself, and my mood is unstable.
Therefore, it is not an easy task to transform it. It needs the close cooperation of schools, parents and teachers to find its bright spots, encourage and affirm more, and help him to re-understand himself and grow up healthily with collective strength.
[Main practice]
1. Persuade parents and teachers to form a joint educational effort.
Family is a small social cell and the first environment for teenagers to receive education. Teenagers keep close contact with their families all their lives. In order to actively strive for the cooperation of the student's parents, I visited the student many times, strengthened contact with his parents, analyzed the current situation and countermeasures of the student, and asked parents to constantly urge their children to study, change the wrong practices of beating and scolding their children in the past, and guide them to master the correct methods of educating their children.
Second, establish a good relationship between teachers and students.
Harmonious teacher-student relationship is the premise of successful education. Because the student is afraid to communicate with the teacher and doesn't want to be close to him, I try to find out the communication point with him. He loves to play badminton, so I will play badminton with him, which will increase the opportunity to talk with him and facilitate the timely understanding of students' ideological trends. After several times of communication, the student told me his inner secret without reservation, and I became his trusted confidante, so I can take this opportunity to educate him.
Third, careful education and individual counseling.
I arranged for a student with good moral character and good grades to sit at the same table with the student to help him overcome the difficulties he encountered in his study and often use his spare time to help him with his homework. During counseling, I first chatted with him, summed up his performance some time ago, and then analyzed the causes of various problems to help him solve the difficulties he encountered in his studies and improve his academic performance.
Fourth, give priority to encouragement and proceed step by step.
In classroom teaching, I give priority to him when I ask general questions. Encourage him as soon as you find his bright spot. At the same time, I assign homework according to his level. As long as he achieves something, he will be praised and affirmed. In this way, he can directly feel the teacher's help and care, and his enthusiasm for learning has also been enhanced.
Fifth, give full play to the collective strength.
I encourage other students to get closer to this student and communicate with him more. We urge each other, help each other, and make friends with him sincerely, so that he can enhance his self-confidence and feel that he is no worse than others and live happily.
[basic effect]
After a period of understanding and education, he has made some progress, just like a person's personality can not be changed overnight, it has the characteristics of stability, and it takes a long time to completely change. Now, he respects his teachers very much, has a clear understanding of the purpose of learning, can adhere to all courses, and his grades are gradually improving. He is also full of confidence in life, his mood is relatively stable, impulsive events are gradually decreasing, he has a preliminary understanding of labor, he is active and enthusiastic on duty, and he can realize where his mistakes are when he makes mistakes. Willfulness and stubbornness can be alleviated, things can be purposeful, and rebellious psychology is weakening. However, he still lacks the spirit of studying hard, giving up easily on difficult problems, lacking strong perseverance and weak ability to resist setbacks. His future education is still long-term, and I hope he will become a strong, knowledgeable and healthy person.
three
Zhong Xu is a "special" child, which makes every teacher feel headache and difficulty. Zhong Xu's temper is stubborn: when there is a contradiction between peers, if the teacher doesn't help him, he sometimes gets angry and stares at you for a long time without saying a word, so that you can't turn off the game; Sometimes I get emotional, like an angry little lion, throwing things away when I get them. Once I was shocked and worried for a long time. I remember packing my toys and getting ready to wash my hands for lunch. I saw him running around with a toy. I hugged him, coaxed him, and took his toy away to prepare it. Who knows, Zhong Xu pulled Dongdong uncharacteristically, that is, he pounded hard and shouted, "I want you to grab my toy, I don't eat lunch, I hate you ..." Then I rushed out, and I quickly caught him.
First, teachers and parents work together to achieve * * * understanding.
It turns out that Xiaoxu's parents are busy at work, and her mother-in-law has taken care of him since childhood. Xiaoxu's naughty mother-in-law, whose legs and feet are a little inconvenient, always meets the children's various requirements and dotes on them very much. Usually at home, Xiaoxu doesn't eat, and her mother-in-law is always chasing him everywhere. Mother-in-law never scolds her child, even if she is wrong, she will accommodate him. Parents get up early and are busy with work. When they get home, they seldom get along with their children. They are more caring and often indulge their children and let them do whatever they want. Therefore, as long as Xiaoxu is slightly depressed, he will not eat or throw things angrily, and even hit people. Once, the mother was so angry that she hit the child several times, and the child actually fought with her. Dad didn't stop her, but smiled, which further encouraged Xiaoxu's arrogance and obedience. In order to change Xiaoxu as soon as possible, I decided to visit my family and communicate with my parents during my visit. Specific practices:
1. During my home visit, I brought some homemade toys to attract Xiaoxu with the charm of toys, so that he could accept me happily and narrow the distance between us.
When talking with Xiaoxu's parents, I won their trust with sincere words. In the process of casual conversation, I asked witty questions, such as persuading parents to realize the seriousness of Xiaoxu's bad behavior, and persuading parents to cooperate with me and educate their children hand in hand. At the same time, parents are also required to line up and sing the same tune when educating their children, so that there is no gap for children to drill.
3. After persuading parents to get their approval, I recommended several magazines about early childhood education for them, especially the "Family Education" column of the Early Childhood Education Expo, to let them know that educating children must be synchronized with their families, further update their concepts and strengthen their behavior.
Second, persevere and get twice the result with half the effort.
As the saying goes, "As long as you work hard, the iron bar is ground into a needle", it is very important to persist in everything, especially to correct a child's bad habits, and you should not rush into it. Therefore, teachers and parents should make long-term psychological preparations. Only by United front, perseverance, not letting children take advantage of loopholes and gradually raising requirements can we finally achieve our goal. This semester, I have done a lot of parental work, and my hometown is also a tune. Pay attention to keep in touch often.
Specific practices:
1. When my parents feel tired and can't ask questions, I will make home visits, send suggestions and countermeasures to my door, get my parents' consent and support before I act to keep my family consistent.
2. When children make small progress and parents are in high spirits, they will briefly explain the next plan by phone and agree with each other. The two sides reminded each other not to relax and prevent the child from recurring.
3. When a child has an emergency and can't explain it clearly in a few words, I will write a note explaining the cause of the incident and my handling opinions, and advise the parents of the child to unify their opinions, handle things calmly, and insist on singing a tune within and between families.
4. After a while, I contacted the parents of the children by phone, summed up their recent performance, found out the bright spots, guided and encouraged them, found out the differences and explored new methods.
Through the continuous efforts of my parents and I, Xiaoxu has changed, become lively and cheerful, love talking and laughing, study hard, sing a few songs and recite some ancient poems. Although I sometimes lose my temper, I am
The teacher's reminders and hints will soon be reversed. Now, he can actively share toys with his partners and live in harmony. I treat Xiaoxu like any other child. I won't treat him "specially" or take care of him. First of all, silence is golden.
As the saying goes, the head teacher should be talkative, so how can silence be golden? Let's look at two cases.
Case 1: A famous student in my class now is Zhou Kang. When I first transferred to the fifth grade, it gave me a headache: if I didn't do my homework, I would easily have conflicts with my classmates and violate the discipline almost every day. At first, I only taught him punishment, even punishment, but it had little effect. One day, he made another mistake. I called him into my office and he just waited coldly for my criticism. There was no teacher in the office. I looked at him and said nothing. I just looked at him calmly, because honestly, I didn't know what to say, but strangely, I wasn't angry at all. I found that he gradually changed, from careless just now to a little embarrassed. After a while, he lowered his head and occasionally looked up at me. I knew he was spying on my heart, but I still looked at his face calmly, as if I were admiring a painting. His head is getting lower and lower, and he is getting more and more uneasy. For a long time, my voice broke the silence: "You can go." He looked up at me in surprise. "You can go now." I repeated it. He left silently. But this time he did well for several days in a row, and I lost no time to praise him. Later, although repeated, after several silent treatments, he still changed. Now, he is a good student, just like other students in his class.
Case 2: Once, in the class Chinese exam, I mentioned the scope of review in advance, but I found that students were generally confident and thought they would do well in the exam, and few people actually reviewed it. As a result, the overall situation is very bad. After handing out the paper, I found that many students were watching me. As usual, it was a good time to preach. I just looked at everyone calmly, slowly moving my eyes on each student's face, and finally said softly, "Well, the past is the key." Since then, students have been more practical in reviewing.
Second, set an example.
Case: In the fifth grade, the class has the task of cleaning the playground. At first, the students were quite curious and danced with big brooms. Later, no one wanted to go down, especially in winter, when it was too cold to clean the playground with a broom made of bamboo in his hand. Seeing this situation, I took the lead in sweeping the playground in the morning. Of course, several students were called by me or offered to help me. Every day, when we clean the playground, we walk into the classroom with a little sweat and rosy face, and when we return to the classroom, I always say loudly to my classmates who clean the playground with me: "Labor makes us happy, and I am proud of you!" "Now every morning, the boys who come early are rushing to clean the playground. I believe: they enjoy their work!
Analysis: the power of an example is infinite, not to mention that this example is his own teacher.
Scope of application: almost all ranges.
Third, look around him.
Case: One day in class, I asked a student, Zhang Xu, to answer questions. After he answered, the students gave a burst of laughter. Why? He didn't listen carefully in class, but answered the previous questions. Of course, the bull's head is not a horse's mouth. I smiled, too, just laughing. I said to this classmate with parental care: "You have worked hard, eat quickly!" " "The students all laughed, and so did the classmate. The rest of the time, he was listening carefully.
Analysis: Life needs humor, and serious classes also need humor. If students who make mistakes can realize their mistakes in laughter, why not?
Scope of application: suitable occasion and opportunity.
Fourth, let nature take its course.
Case: It is very normal for boys and girls in the upper grades of primary school to have a good impression on each other. After the fifth grade, there were many discussions in the class. Many students told me mysteriously that there was a boy who was very strange. Every afternoon after school, he had to walk a long way to send the monitor of our class home. I smiled and said, "Well, how enthusiastic he is!" Many students came to tell me that I should talk to them, but I refused. Of course, I mentioned at the class meeting that it is normal for boys and girls in their grade to have a good impression, which should be treated and handled correctly. These words of mine are definitely not just for that boy. However, it can be seen that it has affected him. He and the monitor get along well and normally now, just like other students. Of course, the boy won't send the monitor home now.
Analysis: The so-called "puppy love" is completely normal. As long as you make it clear, you must first fully trust the students, and it is ok to let yourself go to some extent.
Scope of application: so-called "puppy love"
5. Take back your rights.
Case: There are four students in the class.
Analysis: The purpose of withdrawing the right is to calm down some students who have certain management tasks in some classes and analyze their own shortcomings.
Scope of application: students with strong psychological endurance.
Just like "teaching has no fixed method", I think there is no fixed method for management. There must be some teachers who will have more creative methods. However, we must realize that the basic premise of all methods is that we love students, respect students, understand students and treat students equally. In my mind, the highest level of class management should be the "inaction" of the class teacher!