Text /37 degrees warm dad
Wenwen is four years old. As a little boy, his mother is really worried about his social skills: he doesn't talk to people and doesn't like playing with children. When he goes to amusement places like Naughty Castle, other children play around, and Wen Wen only cries for his mother. Mother said, "How can this child survive in society when he grows up?" ? Just such a person? "
After analyzing the situation in Wen Wen, I think there are two factors leading to this phenomenon:
First, children's sense of security in attachment relationship is not high enough, the desire to explore in unfamiliar environment can not be activated, and the communication system can not be activated.
Secondly, Piaget, a cognitive psychologist, once thought that children before the age of 7 were in a "self-centered" state, which was a normal phenomenon for children. In other words, children before the age of 7 are based entirely on my feelings, likes and needs, regardless of the objective environment and the feelings of others.
Similar to Kelly's situation, what can parents do besides taking their children out to play more?
First, children of the same age can be invited to play at home. First of all, your home is a familiar environment for children, and you feel safer relatively. Secondly, toys and children's books at home can be shared with friends, and children can get a kind of sharing happiness. It is easier to activate children's desire for communication and promote the development of friendship between children.
At the same time, parents can also prepare some snacks, drinks, cakes, fruits and so on. What children like to eat. I hope that children can come to play at home and gradually cultivate their sense of security and desire to communicate with strangers.
Second, parents should not have a strong sense of rules, which may easily cause children to feel too "rigid, dogmatic and bound". When children play with other children outside, they will project the sense of rules brought by their parents to other children. If he makes other children feel constrained and uncomfortable, who wants to play with him?
What parents can do is to dilute their boundaries, frameworks and rules. Too much emphasis on children's obedience and intelligence is actually the embodiment of emphasizing the sense of rules, which is not conducive to children making friends.
Third, tolerance and generosity, parents rarely participate or do not participate in interactive activities between children. For example, when children are playing, there is a dispute because of toys, amusement equipment or game rules. Even if they are flushed, their parents just look at them and smile. Children's problems, children themselves solve, parents help, may be more help more busy.
I remember there was a student in a kindergarten class whose child was bullied by a child. Her mother saw it and said a few words to another child. Just as the other mother saw it, she thought it was the other mother who bullied her children. From the war of words to physical conflicts, the two sides called their husbands, and then developed into calling friends to help. As a result, they all entered the police station for the crime of provoking trouble. The next day, when my father came to see the children off with black eyes, my mother was embarrassed and took the initiative to tell me about it.
However, when both parents are still arguing, the children will be reconciled! Later, through the mediation of kindergarten teachers, the two sides failed, which was really not worth the candle!
Parents should be generous with their children's conflicts and contradictions. As long as it doesn't threaten their safety, let them solve it themselves. Even if there is physical contact, parents should take it lightly if the other child is not malicious.
Fourth, parents should not compare their children, but have a heart of comparison. Once you have the heart of comparison, children certainly don't like to make friends with "people who are better than themselves." Because he is a friend and compared with his parents, he looks "incompetent". Who would like this feeling? Regardless of whether the other's children are better than their own, parents should keep a normal heart, and everyone has their own bright spots. Whether the present is excellent or not cannot be used to measure a lifetime.
Fifth, you can also give a little pocket money to a slightly older child (after 7 years old) and let the child take the initiative to invite the child to eat snacks or drink. These expenses are the expenses of prosocial behavior and the necessary expenses for establishing friendship.
Social forces are really important! When a child enters the society, the important factor that determines his life development is often not IQ, but the quantity and quality of his social circle. Adler, an individual psychologist, once mentioned in his book Inferiority and Transcendence that the sign of the meaning of life is that it can be shared with others and recognized by most people. The meaning of life lies in the willingness to care about others and the desire to become a member of the social family and make contributions to mankind and society.
As a gregarious animal, people need the recognition and integration of the group, that is, integration into society. In fact, according to the current situation of children, there are many ways to make friends with children. As long as you understand the underlying logic of cultivating children's social skills, you can also cultivate children who are good at socializing by yourself.
There are several reasons for children's weak ability to make friends: cowardice, inferiority, strong sense of rules that other children don't like, self-centeredness, serious disregard for other people's feelings, and dislike of being compared. "Children's social ability training course" is mainly to help children "decentralize", that is, to eliminate the self-centered state, guide children to consider problems from the perspective of others, and improve their emotional perception and sensitivity to others.
This book describes in detail 28 common social situations in life, and is compiled according to children's learning characteristics and combined with children's life experience. The Guide to Learning and Development for Children Aged 3-6 points out that children's learning is mainly based on sensory perception, direct operation and personal experience. This shows that children's learning characteristics are concrete and based on their own life experience.
It can be seen that parents don't listen to their children for a reason. Specific story-telling scenes, anthropomorphic animal descriptions and concise language are all ways that children like.
The content of this book can be done by most parents, and it is very simple, but if you think this book is simple, you are wrong. The soul of this book is thinking, testing, combining with life and decentralized guidance after each story. You can teach children social etiquette, but can you make up stories for them every day? You know, stories are easier for children to accept than boring truth.
You can tell stories to your children, but can you extend your thinking, testing and decentralized training in combination with life? The essence of cultivating children's social skills is to weaken self-centeredness, cultivate empathy, and learn to consider problems from the perspective of others.
Give the children scattered exercises and give this book to help you solve it. Daily work makes the body exhausted, why not let the mind relax? With little money, children's social skills can be cultivated with knowledge.
What is spent above the neck is called investment, and what is spent below the neck is called consumption! The active price of this book is only 25.8, and the link is as follows:
Actually, parting is not that terrible. After 650,000 hours, when we are oxidized into wind, we can become two adjacent bubbles on the same glass of beer, and