Recently, many domestic media news about "the smaller the age gap between husband and wife, the higher the divorce rate" has been widely concerned. According to the Wuhan Evening News, the Civil Affairs Bureau of Hanyang District in Wuhan conducted a survey of 92/kloc-0 couples who divorced in 2004, and found that couples of the same age became the high-risk combination with the highest divorce rate. At the same time, the White Paper on Marriage in Yichang City also pointed out that the divorce rate of couples aged/kloc-0 in Xiling District of Yichang City was the highest, reaching 1 9.85%, the divorce rate of couples aged 2 years was 17.44%, and the divorce rate of people of the same age was 10.23%.
Three years apart, same age.
In the eyes of most people, same-age couples refer to couples of similar age, but in the eyes of marriage experts, the concept of same-age couples has been extended.
Lin Zi, director of Shanghai Lin Zi Psychological Counseling Center, pointed out that from the traditional view of marriage, the age difference between husband and wife is less than 3 years old, and both sides will have similar psychological maturity, that is, the same age. According to the latest survey by Beijing Bureau of Statistics, the average age difference between husband and wife in Beijing is 2.6 years, of which 73.6% is between 1-4 years. Among them, the proportion of the same age of husband and wife is the largest, accounting for 16. 1%, followed by 0 and 2 years old, accounting for 65438+ respectively.
Lin Zi said: "Most young people like to find people with similar age and similar interests, so couples of the same age are the mainstream of society." In addition, the fast pace of life in modern society, the lack of opportunities for young people to get in touch with a wider range of people, and friends are limited to classmates and colleagues, which also makes the number of couples of the same age increase day by day.
Yu Hai, a professor of sociology at Fudan University, believes that from the perspective of healthy marriage, the age difference between husband and wife is about 3 years, which is a normal natural marriage age.
"One-year itch" is quite common.
With the young people born in the 1970s and 1980s entering the marriageable age, the "seven-year itch" that lasted for many years was gradually subverted. Professor Yu pointed out that "three-year itch" or even "one-year itch" is quite common among modern couples of the same age.
Professor Yu believes that there are two main reasons why young couples feel sad about the "running-in period": First, young people are generally psychologically naive, lacking due patience and tolerance, and their ability to deal with problems and solve contradictions after marriage is not strong. Because both of them are at the same stage of life, facing the same pressure of work and life, if they don't give in to each other after encountering contradictions, it is easy to raise small problems to the level of "divorce". This is different from the situation in the past when couples tried to coordinate and endure the unhappiness in marriage and let the intractable contradictions break out many years later.
Second, economic contradiction is also the main reason for the marriage breakdown of young couples of the same age. After marriage, with the birth of children, family expenses suddenly increased, which made many young couples from poor families feel depressed and easily led to quarrels. The birth of a child also broke the original world of husband and wife. Young couples lack communication and gentleness, and their feelings will naturally cool down, leading to an increase in divorcees after two or three years.
Among middle-aged couples of the same age, a social survey on the causes of divorce found that two-thirds of divorced couples are also related to sexual disharmony. "With the growth of age, the wife's sexual desire is rising, but her husband is gradually losing it. The wife's complaints and her husband's worries aggravated their sexual disharmony. When they enter menopause, conflicts intensify and it is more likely to lead to divorce. "
* * * The same experience is actually an advantage.
"There is a case that impressed me deeply: a pair of college students have only been married for three years, because after marriage, the position of the man is not as fast as that of the woman. Under the aura of his wife's success, the man felt depressed, and the husband and wife fell into the cold war day after day and finally embarked on the road of divorce. My husband told me that he felt that the year when they had the same experience for the first time was the happiest, and the same language was the most. Later, they went further and further. " Lin Zi believes that in fact, because husband and wife are similar in age and experience, it should be easier to communicate. Couples of the same age should seize this greatest advantage and manage their marriage well.
Luo Huilan, a professor at Women's University of China and director of China Marriage and Family Research Association, suggested that two people may have different jobs and different investments in their families, but their responsibilities are the same. Couples in any state should deepen their understanding of family responsibilities and be considerate of each other. A large number of data at home and abroad show that if the husband can devote himself more to the family and do more family duties, such as helping his wife do more housework, such a family is often happier. Therefore, if possible, both husband and wife should try to cook and clean together, so that the sense of "home" will be heavier and the marriage will be more stable.