In the face of pressure from all sides, we should learn to deal with it bravely. Psychology divides people's coping strategies into two types: one is problem coping, that is, overcoming difficulties, removing obstacles, achieving goals, solving problems and eliminating pressure; The second is emotional coping. The so-called "emotional coping" means that people can relieve stress through appropriate psychological adjustment. In daily life, not all goals can be achieved. It is particularly important for people to make psychological adjustment and learn to "deal with emotions". Diversified emotional coping styles provide people with different choices. Speaking, writing, crying and shouting, and expressing your emotions reasonably, this is called catharsis; Reading newspapers, practicing calligraphy and painting, doing sports, doing housework, keeping pets, getting rid of troubles or leaving the source of troubles is called transfer; Sighing, deep breathing, yawning, stretching, massage, hypnosis, or beautiful scenery such as blue sky and white clouds, waves and beaches or quiet pastoral scenery come to mind, which is called relaxation; Using jokes or self-deprecating methods to resolve contradictions and get rid of embarrassment is called humor; Step by step contact with unpleasant stimuli changes from weak to strong and gradually adapts, which is called desensitization; What you can't get through hard work is called bad sour grape psychology, and what you can't get rid of is called self-comfort.
2. The maladjustment syndrome of college students is the most common abnormal psychological behavior. Some reserved, quiet and introverted freshmen are not good at communicating with others and it is difficult to integrate into the new environment. Some of them are seriously confused, confused and depressed and suffer from "maladjustment syndrome". The psychological gap also makes them depressed. Some students are classmates' idols and were spoiled by teachers in middle school. But after entering the university, I found myself very ordinary and had a strong sense of loss. I am worried that I will live up to the expectations of my parents, relatives and friends. I am anxious and unhappy. I am paranoid and anxious.
In the final analysis, the reason of psychological problems lies in whether the self-awareness of teenagers develops healthily and well in the process of growing up. The so-called self-knowledge means to evaluate yourself reasonably, objectively, correctly and rationally, to see clearly your own advantages, to know your own shortcomings, to know what you can do, and not to force yourself to do anything. This is the foundation to improve the psychological condition of teenagers and the key to build their self-confidence. In order to defend the psychological harmony of teenagers, it is the key to "know yourself and know yourself" under the guidance of teachers and parents. The so-called "confidant" means having self-knowledge, being able to have self-knowledge and having a comprehensive and objective evaluation of oneself. And "knowing the other" is a correct understanding of the objective world, that is, learning, communication and other objects, and it is a reasonable and dialectical concept and attitude. Therefore, if everyone, including teenagers, can strive to "know yourself and know yourself", the flower of harmony will bloom in our hearts.
3. "Eunuch posture"-disorder caused by physical defects: the whole body skin is delicate, the hair is sparse, there is no beard, armpit hair and pubic hair, the testicles are as small as broad beans, peanuts or soybeans, the penis is short, the erection is weak or weak, the tone is harsh, the Adam's apple is low and flat, and the breasts are slightly developed. Generally tall, the body is mostly centripetal obesity. When he walks, his body shakes from side to side like a penguin. No fertility, no motile sperm in semen examination. The mental development of some patients is lower than normal, showing mild mental retardation. The development of psychological personality is immature and passive, characterized by indifference, calmness, timidity, clumsiness, indecision, few friends, and lack of ambition and strength. I often feel uneasy about my lack of masculinity, and I feel very anxious about my low sexual function and infertility, which leads to great psychological pressure, sometimes sexual crimes or other anti-social behaviors, and even some mental and psychological obstacles.
4. Children don't adapt well to the new environment-it's hard to change, for example, changing to a new school doesn't adapt to the new environment, the teacher is very strict, and the teaching style is very different from that of the previous teacher, because the classroom content is difficult to digest and the study is a bit backward. Because of poor study conditions, I am often criticized and even punished by teachers, so I feel a little inferior. Because he suddenly has no friends around him, everything is strange, he feels inferior and doesn't take the initiative to make new friends. There is always no one to play with him after class, and he feels very lonely. This is a typical maladjustment in the new environment. In primary school, children's partners tend to be more and more socialized. They attach great importance to the values shared by their friends and their prestige and status among their peers, especially their peers' evaluation of themselves. When he transferred to a new school and entered a new group, he could not integrate quickly and could not be recognized and accepted, which led to his sense of abandonment and emotional distress. When people are troubled by bad emotions and don't know how to solve them, they will inevitably generalize these emotions, escape and dare not face the existing situation.
Matters needing attention
① Parents often communicate with teachers: Because of their busy work, parents often ignore the communication with school teachers, are not clear about their children's real performance at school, and cannot find out their maladjustment in time. Therefore, communication between parents and teachers is necessary. Especially in the initial stage of entering a new school, parents should keep abreast of their children's study life and behavior at school, and introduce their students' study life and personality characteristics at home and in the original school to teachers. Once problems are found, they can be dealt with in time.
As parents, we should cultivate children's social skills and peer communication strategies. Guiding children to accept the shortcomings of their peers and the way they are accepted by their peers can meet their psychological needs of collective belonging. When children win friends, they win emotional appeal, win the power to solve problems and difficulties, and increase their happiness and interest. Other problems will be solved naturally.
③ Establish learning norms. Use children's novelty psychology to help children rebuild their learning norms. Psychological research shows that the unknown can stimulate people's curiosity and self-motivation, and everyone has the psychology of reshaping their image in the new environment. Parents should analyze the original advantages and disadvantages with their children and put forward requirements and hopes for future study and life. For example, at the beginning of school, parents should patiently assist their children to work hard in the learning process and teach them scientific learning methods, such as the eight-step learning method: making plans-preview before class-concentrate on class-review in time-work independently-solve problems-systematically summarize-extracurricular learning.
4 Pay attention to children's emotions. Parents should pay close attention to their children's emotions, communicate with their children, listen to their voices patiently, understand their psychological dynamics and stress, and conduct timely counseling.
⑤ The expected level should be equivalent to the child's actual conditions. Parents' expectation of their children is one of the keys to affect their maladjustment. Too high expectations for children will cause great psychological pressure on children, and they will always feel anxious in their studies, so that they can't adapt to the new study life smoothly. Parents must determine appropriate expectations according to their children's actual situation. When you enter a new school, you should put your child's adaptability in the first place and rank second in academic performance. They should not make excessive demands on their children, let alone blindly compare with others and increase their psychological pressure.
5. Young people don't adapt to society-it is difficult to join the WTO: the transition from campus life to social life is a key turning point in life. For a person, at this moment, whether he adapts well or poorly, whether he is active or passive, or either/or, determines two completely different life trajectories. If the weaning of babies and the rebellion of adolescence are two psychological crises that people face in their life, then stepping into society is undoubtedly the third psychological crisis that people face. Every May, many young people who have just entered the society commit suicide in Japan. They are desperate because they can't stand the hardships and setbacks of work. "It is difficult to join the WTO" is a sigh of many young people today. It is difficult to join the WTO, because there is great disharmony among young people before and after it. If we further explore the internal causes of this disharmony, we will find that its essence is caused by the huge gap between reality and ideal.
Teenagers are at the age of dreaming. They have a natural tendency of idealism, and it is easy to fantasize about their future life and the outside world to perfection. And our education is a kind of "closed education". Students live in the "two points and one line" between home and school all day, lacking opportunities to contact and understand the outside world. What they learn every day is mostly basic knowledge, and there is almost no social knowledge to help them adapt to society; Coupled with our education, consciously or unconsciously, there is a tendency to whitewash reality, which makes teenagers paint a beautiful picture of heaven in their minds and imagine the future too beautiful and pure. As a result, once they step into the society, they will immediately find that the "scene" is not as beautiful as they thought.
Therefore, we should shout loudly to the society, schools and families: give children more "protective hard work", and many people will be devastated and disheartened after being hit. In psychological terms, these people's psychological endurance is still too low. Psychological endurance is very similar to a term "resistance to blows" in boxing. In boxing, those players who are weak in fighting ability are also easily knocked down or even expelled from the boxing stage. One thing is indispensable, that is, I have experienced various setbacks. Because only after people have experienced hardships and setbacks, will they improve their courage and ability to overcome difficulties and get out of difficulties in the process of fighting difficulties, and establish psychological preparation for meeting the challenge of fate again. "The most important thing for human society to adapt is the adaptation of interpersonal relationships." Because interpersonal relationships are handled well, people will be happy, full of confidence and vitality. On the other hand, if the interpersonal relationship is not good, people will feel lonely and troubled. Psychological research shows that a person's personality characteristics are closely related to the quality of his interpersonal relationship.
There is a kind of social maladjustment, which is completely caused by the lack of certain social skills and knowledge. We should also pay attention to introducing relevant knowledge and skills adapted to society into school and family education. Admit that how to be a man is also necessary knowledge. Only by strengthening education in this field can we enhance their ability to survive and develop in the real environment. Nowadays, there has been a concept as important as IQ-EQ. Just as IQ is a concept to measure people's intellectual development, EQ is also a concept to mark people's social and psychological maturity. Its appearance once again appeals to our society, schools, families and teenagers not only to focus on the development of intelligence, but also to pay attention to the maturity of human social development.
6. Treatment of turtle maladjustment syndrome: etiology: that is, the turtle itself can not adapt to the artificial feeding environment. Symptoms: lethargy, anorexia, cachexia and death. Prevention and cure: controlling abnormal changes in turtle environment and providing its favorite food may make the disease recover better, but it often ends in death. Spraying the turtle house before feeding can induce the turtle to eat. Similarly, increasing the ambient temperature can also stimulate appetite, and irradiation with full-spectrum light can also increase appetite. It is reported that injecting vitamin B 12 can increase appetite and improve eating behavior. Individual turtles refuse to eat for a long time at a suitable temperature, so they must be forced to feed and sometimes start eating by themselves. If the temperature is lowered to 15- 18℃, and then slowly raised to the appropriate temperature of soft-shelled turtles, it is sometimes beneficial to restore the appetite of soft-shelled turtles, but this method can not be used for cachexia soft-shelled turtles with serious physical consumption.
7. The maladjustment of newly recruited drug addicts: In view of psychological problems such as inferiority and anxiety caused by drug abuse and maladjustment to the environment, music relaxation, cognitive therapy, behavioral therapy and other skills in psychological counseling are used to help her get rid of inferiority and anxiety, so that she can change her cognitive model and learn to solve problems and take actions, thus achieving the effect of psychological self-help.
8. Retirement syndrome: After retirement, many people look forward to retirement before retirement, but after they really retire, they miss the busy days before. If retirees do not face up to the troubles caused by retirement, they will not only suffer from mental illness, but also suffer from various physical diseases, which are collectively called retirement syndrome. The psychological characteristics of retirement syndrome are loneliness, emptiness and depression. People who are optimistic may become depressed at this time and don't know how to spend too much time. They will also feel useless and alienated from society. At the same time, my health problems suddenly increased, and my health was out of control like a broken river. When an old friend died, they died in pain, causing doomsday panic. Retirement syndrome is a typical mental illness with psychological and social maladjustment in the elderly. It refers to a variety of psychological disorders and physical and mental dysfunction syndrome caused by the inadaptability of retired elderly people to the environment after retirement, which is increasing in clinical and practical life.
9. School-starting syndrome: "The school is a senior three. If you don't hurry, you won't want to get into a good university, and you won't want to find any good jobs in the future. " They are already facing the pressure of entrance examination. Under the vivid description of their parents, they regard grade three as darkness, and some students have the mentality of escaping. Parents should learn to release pressure on their children, adjust their emotions and enter a moderately tense learning state. Children who prepare for the college entrance examination under the pressure of their parents often lack self-confidence and can only measure the success or failure of their lives by their achievements. So parents might as well try to let go, cultivate their own ability to choose and handle their studies, and learn to be responsible for their future in the process of preparing for the college entrance examination.
Internet addiction is difficult to enter school: spending too much time online will lead to weakening interest in learning and indifference in interpersonal communication. Physically, dizziness, sleep disorder and other discomforts may occur. In severe cases, it may lead to decreased immune function, and in psychological cases, suicidal thoughts and behaviors may occur. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most commonly used method to treat Internet addiction. By challenging the inner thoughts of internet addicts, we can help them re-establish their attitudes and behaviors towards the Internet, themselves and the world, and change their internet addiction behavior. Group therapy and family therapy are also commonly used treatment methods. In addition, there are some drugs that can also improve the curative effect, such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs.
Fear of interpersonal communication: for introverted and timid people, interpersonal communication is a difficult adaptation process. In the interpersonal fear of starting school, the problems of freshmen in transition are more prominent. In addition, many students have already had certain interpersonal difficulties before the start of school, and their anxiety broke out before the start of school. The main reason of "school-starting syndrome" is the special event of "school-starting", which leads to anxiety and fear when they adapt to school life, or stimulates bad emotions and behaviors such as separation anxiety, poor learning adaptability and difficulties in interpersonal communication. The former is due to their own personality defects or too nervous about school and study; When the latter study in school or engage in other activities, they often experience setbacks, grievances and humiliation. The pressure of entering a higher school and the inadaptability of interpersonal communication are the important reasons for the "school-starting syndrome" In particular, students with poor psychological quality and adaptability, students who are often criticized by teachers at school, students with poor academic performance, students who can't adapt to the new environment quickly, and some excellent students who are too demanding are prone to "school-starting syndrome".
Method:
⑴ Psychology: Parents should talk about the school and the new semester with an optimistic attitude, give their children confidence, and say some words of appreciation and encouragement.
⑵ Time: It is best to make a timetable close to school life a few days before the start of school, and urge children to get up and eat on time. Ensure that children have strong energy input in the new semester after school starts.
⑶ Environment: You can go back to school with your children before school starts, and if possible, visit the main places where students study and live.
(4) Content: Talk more about school life with children. Parents can consciously shift from daily entertainment and play to study-related topics, such as holiday homework and classmates' relationship.
5. Supplies: During holidays, parents should prepare stationery and other related school supplies with their children, and it is not advisable to continue to buy toys for their children as gifts before school starts.
10, over-adaptation: refers to the fact that individuals can quickly adapt to the rules and regulations of activities and apply them to social activities, and can easily succeed, so they cannot experience growth and sense of accomplishment. We have a strong ability to "adapt", but there are several reasons why we are confused because of excessive adaptation: First, are we expecting too much of ourselves? If the goal you set for yourself is very far away, the description of the goal is very vague, and it has no practical guiding significance for your current work and plan, then even if you make achievements in the eyes of outsiders, from your own judgment standard, you still don't think it is "success", so you won't feel a sense of accomplishment. Second, don't think about your future, and irresponsibly imagine what your personality, interests, expertise, abilities, channels and contacts are suitable for, can and should do. Just like a long-distance race with no direction sign and no finish line, although I have finished ten kilometers, I can't feel the joy of finishing the race at all, even though I am actually the fastest one. The third and most hidden reason. Lack of self-confidence can also lead to excessive adaptation. This reason sounds like it doesn't meet scientific standards, but it's not. A person is very capable, but at the same time, if he lacks self-confidence, then he is likely to show his pursuit of security in another form. It is precisely because of the lack of confidence in the work, not believing that I can achieve something, and being busy looking for a "back road" for myself that the second and third jobs appeared. In fact, this is just an external strong performance to cover up my inner fragility.
When it is difficult to correctly understand whether you are over-adapted, when you adjust your goals without scientific and objective benchmarks, and when you stand in front of the inner mirror again to examine whether your goals are reasonable, it is a wise choice to turn to professional career counseling institutions. Just like the service tenet that Xiangyang career consultant has been providing to customers, it is our first task to solve the current confusion and help customers from the professional perspective of career consultant, but this is not the purpose; What we always pursue is to help customers understand the causes of their own state after solving the exposed professional problems, and to help others help themselves in the future career development.