Being friendly is the basic accomplishment of dealing with people, and being alone is a personal social choice. This choice is not necessarily correct, but at least it is not wrong. ?

Tell a story when I was a student: When I first went to college, there was a campus organization called the overall planning office, and the selection criteria were quite high. Freshmen participated in nearly a thousand interviews, and only ten people were selected after seven rounds of interviews. ?

I was one of them by mistake. After going in, I found that this place is hidden dragon and crouching tiger, all of them are elites, and several of them are said to have a good background. We call each other "colleagues". During this period, many stories happened, and today I choose one to tell them. ?

One of them is Ziyang. He didn't come in through the normal way. It is said that the school was sent by his father and the headmaster together. Doing business at home, people are tall and handsome, and they look good when they smile. He is very popular, calm and conscientious, and has strong ability. He is very popular with school leaders and cooperative institutions, and naturally becomes the leader of our small circle. ?

I'm relatively cold-hearted, academic-minded, results-oriented, and not very good at making relationships. Of the ten people in our class. I only appreciate two people, Tucki and Ziyang. Our relationship is close. Besides, Tucki, who is a loner, is also a good interpersonal relationship player. ?

I had a fun time with everyone. I had dinner with Tucki and talked about making friends. Tucki said, "You are nice, but a little cold. You can try to talk to everyone more." I am quite able to shrug off the answer: "I don't need many friends. I prefer to deal with people who live seriously, otherwise it is meaningless." He quite disagreed with my approach and retorted, "There are many ways to go with friends, so you need to blend in." ?

Later, he made a faint remark that deeply touched me: "Not only you, but everyone actually likes Ziyang." My neck suddenly tightened, and I thought that my fair relationship with them was because I was good enough for the other party to appreciate. Or do they have the ability to make everyone like me, and I am just the one who has not been rejected? ?

in other words, we get along well, is it none of my business? What about the habitual friendliness just because the other person is sociable? Or they have the ability to make everyone think that they have a good relationship with them. ?

when I thought of this, I couldn't help feeling cold behind me and broke out in a cold sweat. Of course, it turned out that this was not the case. We were attracted to each other because of each other's bright spots. Later, I deeply thought about this problem and found some problems in my own personality and social life. ?

Ziyang is very tolerant and can accept the shortcomings of others, which is difficult for me to do. I find it hard to accept a person after he has some shortcomings such as laziness, blind obedience, insincerity and narrow vision. Just being friendly, keeping my distance is not inclusive. I can't tolerate some shortcomings. I refuse to get too close to such people. ?

But in Ziyang, this standard is much more tolerant. It seems that everyone can be "friends" or Ziyang also has criteria for judging likes and dislikes, but he is mature enough to show less hatred and sharp edges, which is hard for me to do. When I was young, I even advertised myself as lofty and rebellious. With more and more experiences and maturity, I found that everyone has shortcomings, and tolerance and appreciation are actually a virtue. ?

until now, I'm still trying to be tolerant and close. In a word, loneliness is not commendable anyway. ?

I am passive. People I just met, if you don't talk to me, I seldom take the initiative to talk to you. I don't feel how comfortable it is to socialize, and I don't need so many friends around me. I don't think it's wrong to do so. ?

But Ziyang is very active and can properly care for most people's feelings on many occasions. For example, if anyone is left out in the cold at a party, he will take the initiative to strike up a conversation and take care of it. It is always much better to have him in the atmosphere on many occasions. I have been cared for in embarrassment, and I really appreciate this kindness in my heart. This is a great ability, which is also an important reason for his good feelings. ?

Later, talking about this matter, Ziyang himself said that he prefers to be surrounded by crowds, and he especially enjoys the feeling of being surrounded by crowds. This may also be the motivation for him to do so. Here we need to introduce some differences between introverted personality and extroverted personality. It will consume energy in unfamiliar social interaction, and it is easy to feel tired and afraid of extroverted personality. Socialization and crowding are a way to gain energy, and this state of life makes them feel comfortable and safe. ?

For me, it is definitely not an easy thing to socialize with strangers. I even feel inexplicable hostility towards strangers of the same sex (aggression, which is mentioned in other answers). I also found another rule in social interaction: most people are passive, and they often take the attitude of "If you are not good to me, why should I be good to you". But if you take the initiative to be friendly to them, they can also be polite and become good friends after a while. ?

Therefore, the more active you are, the more active you are in showing kindness and care, and the better your popularity will be. Along with this, the social burden is heavier. I have made some reviews, and most of my good friends are due to their initiative, that is, the establishment of relationships depends more on each other's initiative.