There is no absolute either/or. In interpersonal communication, politeness, respect, and frankness can best shorten the distance between each other.

But people have bad qualities. One of these bad qualities is the need for an independent space to distinguish, think, and screen. In other words, it requires a space and distance for self-adaptation. This kind of space and distance It cannot be touched.

In the process of getting along with others, showing your true self without reservation has good intentions and expectations and is worthy of praise. However, a seemingly unreserved display will invisibly infringe on the unknown cognitive space and adaptive distance of others, and getting involved will cause panic and defensiveness. The reason for this is that the living environment is different, and nature and nurture are different. Some of the personality differences formed can spark sparks, but some have no emotional points.

Communication between people lies in the grasp of scale. It is a comprehensive application of knowledge, cultivation, sensibility and perception. There is no such thing as a false mask.

Absolute truth does not exist in interpersonal communication. Even when a person faces his own family, such as parents, children, brothers and sisters, he cannot be absolutely truthful. When a person is most real, When he is home alone. Everyone in life wears a mask. The so-called truth and hypocrisy are nothing more than the thinness and thickness of the mask.

Everyone will face people of various relationships in their interpersonal interactions, including leaders, colleagues, classmates, friends, family, and strangers. The thickness of the mask when facing different people It will be different.

Even so, we will still encounter people who make us feel real and hypocritical people in our lives. Whether a person is real will be reflected through his words and actions.

Everyone has some secrets deep in their heart that they don’t want anyone to see. The few secrets are true, and the many secrets are hypocritical.

We often say that a person is consistent and inconsistent, which means whether what he says is consistent with what he thinks in his heart. The higher the consistency, the more truthful it is; otherwise, it is hypocrisy.

Everyone has a sense of self-protection. A pure and simple person pretends to be more beautiful in his heart. Therefore, such a person does not lack a sense of security and rarely puts up defenses. Naturally, he will be more genuine when interacting with others.

A scheming and suspicious person lacks trust in others, has no sense of security, and always puts others on his side. He will naturally wear a thick mask when interacting with others.

Vanity also determines the thickness of a person's mask. A person who does not love vanity will naturally be true. A person who loves vanity must always wear a thick mask.

The thicker the mask, the more tiring life will be, so face life sincerely and face everyone around you. Even if you can't take off the mask, you can still make it thinner.

If you want others to wear a thin mask in front of you, you must first wear a thinner mask to face others!

I saw a sentence: To handle the relationship with people well, just three sentences: look at people's strengths, help others with difficulties, and remember people's benefits. Introduction

When facing real life, whether everyone needs to wear a mask cannot be judged directly in black and white. Not wearing a mask and showing your true self is of course a kind of self-confidence that requires courage and sustained willpower, but there are often pros and cons to the performance of one thing.

To put it simply: if you don’t wear one, you will appear too real; if you wear a mask, you will appear too false;

A true wise man does not just choose to wear or not wear a mask. , but uses the mask as a social tool in different situations, and uses it with ease and relaxation.

When facing a problem, first find the pain point

After seeing this question, the first ideas that came to mind were not these four questions:

1. Should masks be worn? Wear?

2. Under what circumstances should it be worn?

3. What are the consequences of not wearing it?

4. What are the effects of wearing it all the time?

——And the real pain point is:

How do the people behind the mask think about the mask? Why do you think this way? Analysis 1: Are you the person behind the persona?

Swiss psychologist Carl Jung once elaborated on his view that personality masks are not something we are born with. At least Jung believed that we do not have personality masks in our infancy. Then, its emergence must include two elements:

1. An individual is not an individual that exists alone. Everyone needs to communicate and contact with society and others to confirm his or her existence

A person’s persona must conform to the requirements and expectations of the current society. In other words, if you want to be the person that society needs, you must have a personality mask.

To become a people’s teacher required by social education, you need to have ideological recognition and teaching skills recognition that meet the needs of the teaching industry. Once you meet the requirements, you need to wear the slogan of “education, educating people, answering questions and solving doubts” Persona.

To become a medical worker required by social medical undertakings, you need to have nursing practice recognition and medical theory recognition that meet the needs of the medical care industry. Once the requirements are combined, you need to wear a "saving lives and healing the wounded, respecting life" Persona.

Why use examples from these two industries to illustrate the existence of masks? In fact, the reason is very simple. In most cases (under the state of mind), the characteristics and meaning of the mask are not a derogatory term, and I have always believed that the existence of the mask is a requirement and restriction on personality.

With such requirements and constraints, we can realize our self-worth in a positive direction, instead of falling into the fear of loss, apathy, and inferiority once we hear the word mask.

2. The lofty ideals and revenge that a person has gradually formed since he was a child, and he will gradually put on the necessary personality mask towards the role he expects in the future.

A person has grown up since he was a child. If he aspires to become a very influential celebrity, then on the road to becoming a celebrity in the future, he will need to go against some of his own wishes and reason, and he will need to do so at a great cost in order to become a celebrity.

When you are ordinary, there is not even a friend around you who is willing to accompany you, and you can only walk hard on the road to realize your ideal;

But once When you become famous, "flies or fleas" will all flock to you, but when faced with such a scene, you need to passively put on another "mask" for your "fame and fortune".

Regardless of whether the predecessor of the persona is the need for positive energy, or the coercion and passivity behind the vanity fair, just like the sentence "I think, therefore I am", existence has its own value. It's just presented in another form.

The key point is that you behind each personality mask, who you are or how you think, can determine the value and orientation of this mask. Analysis 2: Are you the person behind the workplace mask?

You are just an engineer who is not good at words but has superb skills. In terms of technology, no one in the group can match it. However, your focus is not on your own strengths, but on blindly aiming at A sales manager who has extraordinary management skills and can talk freely.

You have satisfied your self-worth on the road of technological growth, and there is no need to wear this mask in front of everyone; but on the road to attracting everyone's attention, you have completely ignored your own shortcomings. .

In such a situation, a sense of inferiority will gradually develop into low self-esteem.

As a result, on the road to realizing one's own shortcomings, one gradually puts on the mask of inferiority, not only neglecting one's own advantages, but also lowering one's own value, making happiness no longer exist.

Behind the mask in the workplace, what often appears is a personality with low self-esteem. The main reason for the formation of this personality is that one cannot truly recognize what one's strengths are, but is blindly and keenly aware of them. The Earth can discover the strengths of others and cling to them for a long time without being able to let them go. Analysis 3: Are you the person behind the family mask?

For some women, when they face domestic violence again and again, but they do not have the courage to choose to leave, the reasons behind it are not the three types of compromise:

1 , Because of the children, you have to compromise;

2. For the sake of face, you have to compromise;

3. You rely on your husband financially, and you have to compromise;

But - low self-esteem Personality

Faced with domestic violence, from anyone's point of view, it is intolerable and an undesirable way to resolve family disputes.

The perspective of a man with a history of domestic violence:

If you can solve the problem with your hands, you will never argue, because it is not worth arguing with your partner; (This is an extreme Selfish and possessing extreme male chauvinist ideas)

The perspective of a woman who has been domestically abused:

A personality with low self-esteem makes her focus every time she faces domestic violence. It starts from one's own mistakes and shortcomings, never thinking it is the other half's fault, but just denounces the method of resolving the dispute.

The victim of domestic violence, affected by a low self-esteem personality, has lost the ability to distinguish right from wrong.

From a psychological point of view, it seems that the victim of domestic violence believes that as long as the domestic violence is caused by his own fault, it is reasonable. The emergence of this kind of thinking shows that "negative compensation psychology" has been stimulated. Be the master behind the mask and give suggestions and methods

Simply summed up in one sentence: enhance self-esteem.

At the same time, American psychologist Nathaniel Brandon also gave a very high evaluation of self-esteem:

1. Build and enhance self-confidence

According to Loken, introverted and highly sensitive people must feel hesitant and struggling when facing unfamiliar environments and unfamiliar events.

In order to do well and build confidence, you need to think analytically in the face of complex problems, and at the same time use your own intuition to disassemble complex problems one by one, one by one. Break through and be aware of it.

2. Believe that your hard work will always pay off well

Introverts and highly sensitive people have a unique characteristic, that is, they lack perseverance. When encountering an environment that you think is difficult or extremely sensitive, you will choose to give up midway or retreat. So this is why there has always been an emphasis on the causes behind the mask of low self-esteem.

Once you achieve a perseverant work attitude at work, you will not only realize your self-worth, but also gain recognition and interpersonal cooperation from colleagues.

3. Stick to yourself and be relaxed

For many people behind the mask, they usually choose to go to two extremes:

These two Extreme methods will not do any good in re-establishing self-esteem, because the prerequisite for achieving a certain degree of relaxation is that you need to stick to yourself and not become a "fall with the wind" - fall wherever the wind blows.

Instead, set a bottom line principle for yourself. If it violates your own bottom line, you must stick to yourself; if it does not exceed your own bottom line, you can make appropriate concessions and follow suit.

4. Set feasible goals

Goals are the iconic results that measure the success of your own efforts. Lack of goals is also a life principle that introverts and highly sensitive people avoid behind their personality masks.

Whether it is the workplace, family, or personal heart, goals are the source of motivation to start taking action. In the vernacular of the common people, it is called "having a head".

When the goal is not achieved, you need to go back and reflect on your detailed mistakes, so that you can discover problems more clearly and solve them in a timely manner.

Conclusion

There are reasons for choosing to put on or put down the mask. There is no absolute good or wrong in the world, and the only one who can truly decide what is right or wrong is yourself. Just like drinking alcohol is bad for health, everyone knows it very well, but on the basis of ensuring not to exceed the amount, weighing the harm of letting go of the baggage in the heart is much less harmful than keeping the baggage locked in the heart.

Thank you for reading. If you have different opinions or suggestions, you can leave a message in the comment area below. We will learn together and make progress together. Mingliji, distinguish right from wrong, pursue the truth, record life, thank you for having me!

Some people are accustomed to living with masks because they dare not face the world truly. Therefore, showing your true self not only allows others to see your true self, but also attracts people on the same channel!

What you mean by truth may be a kind of stereotype. Wearing a mask also indicates hypocrisy, so it makes you feel dilemma.

In fact, people don’t have to be so rigid or hypocritical. Flexibility, perseverance and sincerity are the characteristics of a mature personality.

To answer this question, we believe that we must first understand two things. What does it mean to show your true self? What is life with a mask?

Just as we say that being sincere does not mean telling the truth about everything, showing your true self must not be a free expression of inner thoughts and an unconstrained display of external behavior. Personally, I think that showing the true self should actually be our own inner subjective judgment and opinion on something, and should be displayed as much as possible while complying with certain external environmental requirements and rules.

So here comes the interesting question, what is life with a mask? I know there are a lot of people who give it an extremely dark color.

From a psychological point of view, one of the important indicators to judge whether a person is mentally healthy or not is to see whether social adaptability is normal, and a very important criterion for the cure of mental illness is to see whether , whether they can re-adapt to social life.

So it is not difficult for us to see that a mentally healthy person, a person with strong social adaptability, must also be a person who is very flexible when facing different environments and dealing with different problems.

So from this point of view, is it true that every one of us with normal mental health is wearing different masks in life? So my answer to this question is that in this chaotic and complex social environment, we need to live with different masks.

Because this will allow us to adapt to different environments, different rules, different conditions, and different requirements faster and better, treat the people and things around us flexibly, and give others what we can give, Get what you want, create more opportunities for yourself, and be able to show your abilities, so as to achieve the life you want to achieve!

We don’t have to worry about wearing too many masks, as long as we don’t get lost and always remember clearly which mask is the real self!

You should show your true self in interpersonal communication!

In interpersonal interactions, showing your true self will attract others to want to make friends with you.

People like to make friends with people who are genuine. Making such friends is real and reliable, so you can effectively improve your social circle and make more friends.

Who wants to be friends with someone wearing a mask? If it seems that two people are like friends, it is also an illusion that they are driven together by interests or some other reasons.

Whether a person can make friends or not, others can tell by one or two things. If you wear a mask to interact with others, others will also wear a mask to interact with you. Then you definitely don’t want to associate with someone who wears a mask.

Showing your true self will more or less give people a feeling of trustworthiness. You treat others with sincerity, and they treat you with sincerity. These effects are mutual!

The educational inheritance of Confucius and Mencius, the competition between IQ and EQ, nothing more! There is no standard answer! The interpersonal communication model that makes relationships harmonious and makes people peaceful is the best model! Hope this helps! Good luck!

Let me give you an example.

From ancient times to the present, when it comes to martial arts, swords have been mentioned. A sword must have a scabbard. Although the sword is sharp, it cannot hurt yourself or others with the protection of the scabbard, and it can also be used as a decoration to set off oneself.

If there is no scabbard, you can draw the sword faster and protect yourself better when encountering bad guys.