1. I got on the horse in the morning and got married right away.

2. Give me a beautiful photo of you to use at home to ward off evil spirits.

3. Thanks to my figure, I can travel around the world even if I am bloated.

4. I want to watch it lighter, and then lighter, until I don't want to watch it.

5. A woman who can't cry is a monster, and a woman who can only cry is a waste.

6. At present, the only thing I can't lift is chopsticks, and the only thing I can't get out of is the quilt.

7. You can't eat, who can't sleep, and it's all wrong without you.

8. If I were Wu Dalang, I would definitely let Pan Jinlian go, let her fall in love with others, and have a beautiful child ~

9. The hardest thing is to care about it if it is not properly controlled.

1. Being young is not the reason for you to play, but the capital for your struggle.

11. Getting married is nothing more than blaming others.

12. No matter how hard you are, you can't suffer from cadres, and no matter how poor you are, you can't lead.

13. For people like you, I can let you live for two episodes at most in the series directed by me.

14. You are so tired even when you sleep. Hey, wake up and have a rest, and then sleep after that.

15. A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

16. If you are well, it will be a bolt from the blue

17. We have been practicing smiling all the time, and finally we have become people who dare not cry.

18. Humor means that when a person wants to cry, he still has the interest to laugh!

19. Women wear a lot of makeup, but they are afraid that their hearts are fake.

2. Thanks to my nose, even if it collapses, I can breathe fresh air.

21. You were such a lady when I didn't know you well at first, but as a result, I got to know you well ...

22. The highest level of catching a cold, blowing bubbles with your nose ...

23. Losing your family when you have money, and worshipping God when you have no money.

24. Everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm just plain beautiful.

25. Homework, let's break up. I'm tired of you, because I endured the weekend ...

26. People live to prove that they're not dead.

27. I went shopping without my glasses one day and saw a handsome and familiar person. I want to go over and see who it is. It turned out to be a mirror.

28. Time slips like quicksand at your fingertips, and you can't catch it, and you can't stay. Can you hug all the thoughts in your mind again?

29. You have to understand that not everyone can make waves in my heart without making five friends when I have money. When you have no money, don't ask for five people!

When people are rich, everyone will get close, spend your money and eat your food.

when people have no money, everyone stays away from their own sufferings and eats for themselves.

If you have money, others will wait for you to speak.

If you have no money, you have no confidence to speak, and you are not qualified to speak.

with money, everything is reasonable,

without money, everything is futile.

if you have money, you can talk about your ideals.

without money, talking about ideals will only be laughed at.

People are alive, no matter whether they are rich or not,

See people clearly and learn to judge them,

Don't make friends or ask for help at will.

When you are rich, don't make five friends

1. When you are rich, don't make disloyal and unfilial people.

how can a person be loyal to you even if he is not filial to his own parents? He just takes a fancy to your money and wants to profit from it.

2. when you have money, don't make friends with lazy people.

such a person has no future, and he will not be sincere to you. He just wants you to give him some benefits and give him more reasons to be lazy.

3. People who don't keep their promises when they have money.

being a man, the most important thing is honesty. Make friends with people who break their promises. If you lend him money, don't expect him to pay it back.

4. when you have money, don't make friends with crooked people.

such people should really be kept away from everyone. If you have some money, such a person will use you to achieve his goal, and then you will end up as an accomplice.

5. when you have money, don't make friends with people who are too scheming.

such a person is always sincere with you, but he doesn't know what his plans are behind his back. Such a person will only use you to achieve himself.

when you have no money, don't ask for five people

1. When you have no money, don't ask for people who mock you.

when we are born as human beings, we should have dignity. If others ridicule ourselves, that means we look down on them. Why bother to beg and embarrass ourselves?

2. when you have no money, don't ask people who don't understand you.

In this world, there are not many people who can really understand you. Since others don't understand, don't ask for it, but it will make them misunderstand more.

3. when you have no money, don't ask for rich people.

once a person has money, he has an identity. If you ask him, you may not get sympathy. It is better to help yourself when you are in trouble.

4. when you have no money, don't ask for people who meet by chance.

After all, when you meet by chance, if you want something from him, he will directly refuse you. Why let yourself feel cold? You might as well not ask for it.

5. when you have no money, don't ask for a superior person.

When someone is above you, if you ask him, you will lose any dignity. A person can have no money, but he can't lose face. Funny thunder people who laugh to death and don't pay for their lives say: if you have money, you will lose your family, and if you don't have money, you will worship God

A selection of funny thunder people who laugh to death and don't pay for their lives: 1. If you have money, you will lose your family, and if you don't have money, you will worship God.

2. A school teacher collected a slogan to protect flowers and plants, and a classmate blurted out: Step on my head today and plant it on your grave tomorrow.

3. I'm really a playboy. I think about summer vacation just after the winter vacation.

4. It's a fine day today. I've been indoors for a long time, and I'm going to the living room for fun.

5. I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

6. I have been wandering between a lady and a rough girl.

7. Everyone likes to eat Master Kong. If you eat Master Kong, Mrs. Kang will have no companion, so you have to marry the white elephant.

8. Now I know why there are so many lovelorns in summer, because it's too hot for two people to sleep, and it's life and death that can keep them together.

9. When I grow up, I want to cut my hair short. Long hair and short knowledge show that I am literate.

1. During the Qingming Festival, it rained a lot, and students tried to kill themselves by doing problems. The holidays were too short, so there were piles of homework.

11. In fact, I think the name of the summer homework is the same as that of the cigarette case that smoking is harmful to health.

12. Since ancient times, no one has died, and everyone has to die early or late.

13. Pigs have pig thoughts and people have thoughts. If pigs have thoughts, they are not pigs, but Bajie.

14. Sleep or be in a daze. Body and soul must be in bed!

15. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

16. All relationships that don't aim at marriage are obscene hooligans, and all relationships that aim at marriage are upper-class hooligans.

17. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. When I see you, I feel even more entangled than going to the grave.

18. I remember the first girl I chased when I was a freshman. I sent her a message that night: I like you. What should I do? She replied to me in three words: secretly in love!

19. Come to school early every day. On the surface, you love learning, but a few people know that we are here to copy our homework.

2. These days, women are becoming more and more manly, men are becoming more and more girly, children are becoming more and more mature, but adults are beginning to pretend to be pure.

21. When can I become a bird, to see who is not happy to sow bird flu?

22. Be a koala in your next life! Sleep for 2 hours, eat for two hours and play for two hours every day. This is the perfect life! !

23. At the party in kindergarten, the friend who announced the curtain said in a loud voice: Please enjoy the chorus "We are all people"

24. A host said the precautions before the game: everyone should wait for me to finish and answer first. Then further stressed: be sure to wait for my beginning to come out and grab it!

25. Tomorrow is another day. How many tomorrows there are! Since there are so many, we might as well put it off again.

26. If you see how big trees turn into piles of exercise books, do you still have the heart to do your homework? Without buying and selling, there will be no killing.

27. You think you are a saint, but in fact you are just a mental derangement among human beings.

28. I didn't fart before I went to college, but I farted when I came to college!

29. The quality of the teacher's class determines the flow of mobile phones this month.

3. There is a kind of anxiety that the computer is stuck and QQ is still ticking.

The hilarious thunder man who laughs himself to death and doesn't want to pay for his life. Selection 2:

1. Don't work all day, your old bitch is almost pregnant.

2. Being cheap is also an art. Let's do this art well together!

3. Don't be optimistic like a fart, thinking that you can shake the world.

4, BBK lighter, where not to point.

5. Once upon a time, someone ran in my space, and in less than two seconds, he died with a bang.

6. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater near, with more than 3 nuns and more than 1, experienced people.

7. Next, I'll perform a stunt handed down by my family, and a big stone will break your chest.

8. Beating is kissing and cursing, and it is love. I always scold your mother, and I almost have feelings with your mother.

9. Your short stature is lifelong, but my fat is temporary.

1. during the exam, I wanted to turn the salted fish over, but damn it, I didn't expect it to stick.

11. I passed you but you didn't know it was me, because I turned my head away.

12. The so-called natural awakening is actually awakened by urine.

13. There are more and more monsters in this world, and there are fewer and fewer Tang Priests.

14. Since people get tanned, their faces look good, their teeth turn white, and they don't blush when drinking.

22. If it can't be amazing, it's so ugly!

actually, I'm not fat, but I'm too lazy to be thin.

24. I had a crush on you because I was out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

25. If I die, my first sentence is: I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts.

26. I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps. Do you think I can stop kicking him in return?

27, sweet, fragrant, spicy, sour, bitter, so many flavors, but you just like coquettish.

28. If there is a next life, I must be your heart, because if I don't jump, you will die.

29. Young girls are precious, young women are more expensive, and if there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

3. What is a class teacher? It is a person who destroys your friendship, your love and your affection. When people have money, when people have no money, eight big truths!

It's no use knowing that big fish and big meat are in front of you only when you have a toothache.

It's no use knowing that Jinshan Yinshan has no place to spend money only when you are sick.

When the sun comes out,

You complain about tanning your skin.

The sun goes down.

You blame that you can't see clearly.

The poor look at the rich.

Everyone is rich and heartless.

Everyone deserves to be poor.

As a result,

the poor have money.

Finding money doesn't make the mare go.

Finding that there is no money makes the rich feel more comfortable.

Day and night

There are always people crying and laughing.

There are always people who are happy and suffering.

You only see him

The scenery in front of people < He sighs behind his back

You are jealous, he wears gold and silver

He envies you for sleeping till dawn

Trouble comes from comparison

Peace of mind because being content

Being healthy and full of good teeth

There is not so much difference between people

If you are content and cherish happiness, your life will be better

1. -stupid!

2. Don't forget that health is capital. Without health, you can't enjoy all the fun of life. -special loss!

3. Don't take fame and fortune too seriously. After glitz, it's all gone. -it's really true!

4. Don't think that it's the doctor who can save lives, but it's actually yourself. Keeping in good health is more important than saving lives. -that's right!

5. Don't think that you will get a reward if you pay. Only when you don't count the reward, can you practice good for evil. -Trane!

6. Don't think that the officials are better than the people, and they will all be retired, and they will all be the people in the end. -special permission!

7. Don't neglect the people who are predestined friends with you. When the prosperity is over, you will realize that many people will leave you and it is hard to find a bosom friend. -I regret it!

8. Don't think that greeting will disturb you. It must be someone who always sends you WeChat. -special!