Nickname: Fish? Mengmang
Location: Shandong
Occupation: Administration
Self-report: The author studied in Sifang Campus of Qingdao University of Science and Technology (this is the old campus, and there are also Laoshan, Gaomi and Jinan campuses, which are famous for chemistry and chemical engineering, and Mo Yan is a visiting professor), but he didn't like his major and didn't engage in chemistry and chemical engineering-related occupations after graduation.
Because I am extremely mediocre at school, I stubbornly believe that I will not miss my university, but her influence on me is so profound that her brand has always been on my behavior pattern.
She taught me to build my own system and think independently. I love my alma mater. She is ordinary, but she is the only one for me.
Text:
There is an angel road in our youth division, and people who don't know it are fascinated by it. People who are in it are always happy, and those who truly understand it will benefit for life. ...
The so-called Qingke is not the "highland barley" on the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, but the abbreviation of Qingdao University of Science and Technology. When I was admitted to this university, I was ecstatic, as if there were thousands of grass-mud horses passing by in my heart.
That year, I played an extraordinary role, and my college entrance examination score was more accurate than that of cruise missiles, no more or less points, just flush with the key lines. I suddenly felt that it was a lie to cross the wooden bridge with thousands of troops. I am the only one in the real college entrance examination.
But here's the problem. It is very sure that this achievement will be reported in two books, but it is completely lucky to report it in one book. I quickly turned over the thick "National College Admission Scores" bought from the stall, skipped the first-class universities in the front row and went straight to the end, and finally found her in my dream.
Over the years, she has been waiting for me, so most of the admission scores are hovering in the key line. "Lang is affectionate, I am interested." I patted her on the head. I have always got good grades in chemistry, and it is easy to find a job in chemistry, so I naturally chose the chemistry department.
In the meantime, there was another episode. The chemistry department is divided into ordinary classes and aristocratic classes. Noble class, also known as Prince's College, is a learning mode in China for the first two years and abroad for the second two years. The cost is staggering, 30 thousand to 40 thousand a year.
I didn't read it carefully when I volunteered. I just checked one at random. I didn't know such a thing until I got the admission notice. I was cheated at that time. Looking at the high tuition fees and thinking of poverty at home, I want to cry. ...
It turned out that this was just a false alarm. I signed up for an ordinary class with a tuition fee of 4 thousand a year, which is relatively close to the people. Young and energetic, he always makes some meaningless decisions and has no idea about the future results. I can look back and think, "Are you still called a young man if you are not angry?"
In this way, I was lucky enough to catch the last bus to a key university. In the second year after that, the admission score was twenty or thirty points higher than that of one book, and I couldn't help shouting, that was close!
When I checked in, I couldn't stop imagining the "blue sea, blue sky, red tiles and green trees" in Jiaodong Peninsula, and imagining the birds and flowers on the university campus. Is there a better place in the world?
At that time, Sifang Railway Station had not been demolished, and I got off there. It's very ugly around the station, with shabby houses and corners everywhere. Not far away, there is a black liquid flowing in the river under the overpass, and the smell is pungent. Maybe it is not a river at all, but an abandoned drain.
This destroyed the beauty in my heart, but it still didn't dispel my hope. I think there will be a university campus facing the sea and blooming in spring in front of me (official website is like this, but that's the Laoshan campus, a new campus). I got on the school bus in a hurry, but I still saw a scene of decadence.
I thought these things would pass soon, but I never thought that nearly an hour later, the car stopped in front of an old dark red three-hole door.
The door is very low, and only one hole is opened in three holes. The other two holes were blocked by iron gates spliced by iron railings. There is a small narrow wooden board on the wall next to it, with black characters on a white background, which reads-Qingdao University of Science and Technology, extremely poor!
This door is near Liu Si Middle Road, less than 20 meters away from it, and the situation is very narrow and dirty. Zhengchongmen is a long line of Internet cafes, and students can be seen coming in and out from time to time. Further on, there are many food stalls with jagged teeth on both sides of the road. The vendors are busy with shovels, iron pots and rolling pins. Men and women stood on tiptoe and stretched out their necks by the roadside, screaming and flapping their wings like white geese.
This once made me doubt that the driver was driving in the wrong place, but I still didn't give up the last glimmer of hope. I comforted myself that one day, will there be another hole?
Unexpectedly, after entering the door, I was more disappointed. Obliquely inserted on the right, it is a path paved with broken tiles. Walking on it, the light instantly fades, giving people a strange feeling of gloom. A closer look reveals that it was those pines and cypresses that stretched wildly towards the sky until the sky was covered with the sun.
Cross the path and you will come to an asphalt road.
The environment here is even worse. The paulownia trees on both sides are quite tall, but the road surface is white. The scene is like an unqualified painter who works without a license and doodles.
The white ash is unevenly spread, the thickest under the tree, followed by the roadside, and there are only a few points left in the middle of the road ... In time, I can hear the gray and white magpies making noise there, which is very harsh!
If this is the famous road of angels, I won't believe it even if I die. I tell you from my own bitter experience that you must not believe in advertisements when you enter the university, but look at the actual effect.
On the first day of college, I lost sleep, not because of excitement, but because of endless sadness and disappointment!
Later, I believed it, because there was no way. This is indeed the way of angels, or "the way of heaven and shit", which is more accurate
We cross this angel road every day, attending classes, studying by ourselves, eating, playing ball games and going to bars ... Magpies also go out to find food during the day and come back to poop at night, which is extremely repetitive and boring.
Love is impossible! We teased the girls in the engineering college that "the number is small and the quality is not good." In all fairness, the first half of this sentence is true and reliable, and engineering colleges are indeed "more wolves and less meat"; The second half of the sentence is meaningless. "There are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women".
At that time, there were only two girls in the same department in two classes of Mechanical Manufacturing Department, both in Class Two. The class one monitor was not convinced, so he reasoned with the teacher and coordinated with the class two monitor. After many difficulties and obstacles, he finally got a girl. There is no need to choose a class flower, "green with red", and the treatment must be infinite scenery and thousands of pets.
As for me, I liked the girl in my class from the beginning, but I was too poor to speak. That's true. I can't support myself, but I can support others. In the next semester of junior year, my girl had her hair done, but with a little slap, she became the most beautiful goddess in the class.
I am good friends with the soldiers in Class Four. He likes her very much. He talked to me all day and asked me if I liked her. I shook my head against my will. But I finally confessed. I gritted my teeth and bought chocolate and tomatoes to ask her out. Because that day in the experimental class, she smiled at me and complained that I had never invited her to eat sugar.
It was a refreshing night in Xia Feng. We were sitting by the swimming pool of Teaching Building No.1, and I confessed to her. She was surprised, smiled and bowed her head. It is really "the gentleness of the bow, like the shyness of the hibiscus."
Then she said slightly angrily, "Fish, why didn't you say so earlier?" If you tell me when you are a freshman or a sophomore, I will promise you at once! But I am going to be a senior three, and we are going to separate. "
No persistence, uncertain future, being in a foreign land. I can't offer her a good life and happiness. I want love, but I'm afraid of parting. During the four years of college, couples are basically separated, unless they finally work or live together. Seeing other people's experiences, I gave up the pursuit of love, which also became a great regret of my university.
Fortunately, college students have excellent internet access ability, and there is also an online transmission software called "Feiqiu" in the school. It's easy to get some island love action movies. A person or a group of people huddled around studying, blushing and propping up the tent, as if hiking in the desert under the scorching sun, and their throats were smoking with thirst.
Finally, if you are self-reliant, you can barely last four years.
Stay for a long time, and the road will be familiar. This road is basically no one dares to walk slowly. Unless those real warriors dare to face the bleak life and face the bird droppings in free fall.
Those white ashes on the ground are simply bird droppings, or rather, magpie Baba. These white scary bird droppings are large in size and quantity, which simply exceeds the cleaning limit of the cleaner. Over time, they became phosphate fertilizer like Nauru, an island country, sticking to the asphalt road.
During the day, you can walk on this road. At this time, the magpie is busy looking for food everywhere, but it must also go quickly. After all, there are "magpies" left in the nest. Although you don't fly, you must pull.
On the road of angels, there are absolutely no handsome men and beautiful women, only men or women who cover their heads and swing their arms, striding forward and swishing.
As soon as dusk passed, this road became an absolute forbidden area. One night, let's go clubbing with people in the dormitory. It was already late at night when I came back. When passing by Angel Road, I only heard the sound of "scratching" around me, like the sound of dense and huge raindrops hitting the glass window.
First, everyone is at ease, then the enemy is ready to go, then keep the team formation and retreat in turn, and finally flee to the dormitory in despair. They were all shot in glory, not only with white spots on their clothes, but also in the middle of their skulls. What luck!
I tried to adapt, but in vain. This is completely inconsistent with the imagined university. Too shabby, too old, too tasteless. I can't accept it. All I can think about is leaving. Staying here is a waste of youth and life!
At this time, I began to miss home, my village and my town. I don't think I can adapt to the ivory tower life here. It's too high for me. I like to go to the fields with my parents and chat around them. If it's not good, let them tell me a beautiful girl from a neighboring village and a bunch of dolls to make up the 12 zodiac. ...
But I have no way out. This is time, life and growth, which is irreversible.
After the freshmen's military training, we began to have classes. Compared with the pressure of senior three, it is too easy. We have a lot of time to do nothing and be in a daze. Everyone else is playing, but I'm different. I have been thinking about what to do with so much time. This makes me feel scared, helpless, depressed and avalanche of emptiness!
I need to walk through this desolate and boundless desert of thought alone, because no one can help me except myself.
When I leave my parents, I will no longer take care of them. I left my high school teacher, so I don't know how to arrange my study. I left my old close friend, and I never thought whether I could find a new old iron to replace this feeling. ...
Nobody told me what to do with all this. Before, my life was arranged, taken care of and served, and I was full of dependence on these. Now suddenly let me control my own destiny, let me feel at a loss, just like a toddler suddenly leaving his mother's arms, want to go for a while, want to hug for a while. I'm trapped here, in great pain!
I am a loner. Although I will play with my roommates and my buddies, I always feel lonely because my heart is closed and I don't want to open it for anyone, which makes me almost insecure.
I always recall how good it was in high school. Everyone is busy, but full. Unlike now, I have so much free time, but I feel empty, depressed and pale!
I feel depressed because I am always different from others. I can't tell the difference. Maybe I'm really sick and have a brain problem.
At this time, I won't go that way easily unless I have to. I hate that road, and I hate myself more. Before my life began, I was covered with thick bird droppings.
After my freshman year, I don't think I can do this anymore. Although I don't like my major, tuition is the hard-earned money of my parents after all. I must make every effort to learn my major well.
In addition to learning this major well, I began to run to the library, where there are things that can solve doubts.
On the square in front of the library of Sifang campus, there stands a statue called "Pursuit". This statue, with ups and downs and ill-fated, is still naked after the ravages of language violence.
Combining different versions, the ins and outs of things are roughly as follows. This statue, originally for a man with a book in one hand and the earth in the other, is intended to change his destiny with knowledge. But the seniors spit out, this is not "Is there a ball in reading?"
Later, I was spit out a lot, and the school went to the soil. The seniors complained that "reading is useless."
Later, the school took the book angrily, and the seniors vomited that "there is no book to read and no ball to use." The saddest thing in life is this! " The school was so angry that it wanted to vomit blood that it almost didn't tear down the sculpture.
Looking back, we seem to be teasing the statue, but in fact we are playing with our own lives. We simply think that reading is useless. Actually, our level is too low. Really powerful people always feel that their knowledge intake is not enough. They bowed their heads like full grains of wheat and remained humble.
Montaigne said: "There are two kinds of ignorance in the world: superficial ignorance exists before knowledge, and acquired ignorance exists after knowledge." And I, like most people, belong to the former.
On that angel's road, many top talents were admitted to 21/kloc-0,985 universities and even famous universities such as Tsinghua and Chinese Academy of Sciences.
In fact, it's not how the environment is, but how you are. "The prince and the prince will be very similar, but they would rather have seeds." Every school has people who work hard! Many people don't like their own universities because people like me are not excellent, they can't eat grapes, but they are sour.
As far as grades are concerned, my university is undoubtedly a failure. Four years of college grades have been wandering in the middle and lower reaches, never won a scholarship, but also failed, and even became the group of people on Adventure Island, which deserved to be among the scum.
But from the perspective of my life, I have gained a lot. In college, I learned to eat alone, study alone, study alone and bear alone. I live as a team, away from those superficial and noisy gregarious people, and live a true and quiet self.
Although I am not good enough, there are still many teachers who appreciate me. First, because my experimental results are excellent, and second, because they think I can calm down. Actually, I am not as good as they think. I just don't admit defeat and do my duty as a student, that's all.
What impressed me most was that Professor Wang took the initiative to let me apply to her graduate school. She said that I had the shadow of her youth.
This is a very boring afternoon. Professor Wang is in a hurry at the moment. After briefly explaining the task, he left early. Unfortunately, my experiment failed, so I had to do it again by myself.
The whole laboratory is very quiet, except for the faint tinkling of the test tube.
Unfortunately, Professor Wang felt uneasy and came back near dusk. At this point, the students have already left. I am the only one in such a big laboratory, and I am still doing experiments there wholeheartedly.
This moved her very much, and now she will accept me as an apprentice. I refused, but I decided, not that Professor Wang is not good enough, nor that I pretend to be lofty, but that I know very well that I don't like this major at all.
I testify by personal experience that even if I don't like my major, I can learn this subject well, provided that I do it with my heart.
The real adaptation was in the second semester of my sophomore year, and I began to hold my breath. When playing on the basketball court, I no longer envy those seniors who are about to graduate, because every time I leave, I always see these people crying and shouting on the Little Square at the school gate.
I don't like them. I don't want to stay in this school for long. I can spit out all the food in five kettles. Why are you crying when you're already dead?
At this time, my crotch dribbling and middle-distance shooting have been practiced very little, but suddenly I found that there are fewer and fewer buddies to play with. My best friend, the soldier, is not coming either. They all seem to be preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. Obviously, they all found their own way.
I don't like my major, and of course I won't take the postgraduate entrance examination. I must find another way out. After some consideration, I decided to apply for the civil service in the cultural system and go my own way.
After I really calm down, I will stay in the library every day and study with my classmates who took the postgraduate entrance examination. My life has become rich, and I finally found my own world.
At this time, I watched the road of angels again and felt much better. As the teachers said, although the school buildings are shabby and the conditions are poor, we are definitely not a place where birds don't shit; If you don't believe me, you can look at the road of angels.
Funny students began to promote the famous tourist attraction of Zero2IPO University-the only angel road in China. This attracted many kind men and women to visit, all of them were baptized by bird droppings, and then more people were fooled.
Repeatedly, there is endless joy.
From the second semester of sophomore year to the last semester of senior year, it is a wonderful time for me to enrich. Gradually, I found many interesting people and things, and also found the most worthwhile thing in the old campus, that is, the style of study.
At this time, many people are not attending universities, but attending universities. Without rigid management and regulations, people are easily decadent and lazy. Fortunately, although I am extremely ordinary, I have not fallen.
A buddy in the dormitory next door did well in the college entrance examination that year. Fudan University was the first choice, but I missed it by a few points. He despises our school. In the past four years, except for the dormitory, he went to Internet cafes and even seldom took a bath, so that he smelled of sweat, and his grades were naturally a mess.
Finally, I don't understand whether the university abolished him or he abolished himself. Four years! The golden age of four years of college is gone.
I don't want to be him, I want to change.
The counselor advised us not to stay in the dormitory all the time, but to come out and have a look. "Boys' dormitories are smelly and dirty, and they are all a group of old men. What is so stupid! "Think about it, the word is not rough, and it came out. I can't adapt. I'm always worried about what other people think. Everyone is busy studying. At most, I read magazines and newspapers in the library, which is incompatible with the postgraduate entrance examination team.
Later, I got used to it. I only do myself and do what I like, which is nothing to be ashamed of. So I left the dormitory and started to get up early.
Getting up early is really interesting, and the teacher told us something very unique!
It is said that there was a senior who loved fitness. He gets up early every day and runs outside the school. Every time, he didn't return empty-handed. Cucumber, melon and even watermelon are available. Later, more and more people went out for a morning run with him ... This is not a glorious thing, but it told me that as long as you get up early and do things, you will get something!
The most noteworthy style of study in the old campus can be seen from the seats occupied by the library and study room.
It is relatively simple to occupy a seat in the library. Getting up early is only one aspect. The key is to talk about strategy and be cheeky. I usually get up at 7: 00, wash my face, and then make a pot of water, basically around 7: 30. The library is closed at this time, so I just stand there and read for a while.
As soon as the administrator arrived, everyone began to push forward desperately. At this time, there were many girls, so I deliberately pretended to be a rogue and struggled to swim forward in the crowd. I am one head taller than the girls around me. If I look far away, I will find only one head floating on the sea, doing extremely irregular Brownian motion.
The girls' reaction is naturally to get out of the way, for fear of avoiding it.
The administrator is an aunt in her late fifties, and she is very nice. She is going to open the door with a key, but it is inconvenient to always have something in her hand. According to my observation, she likes to dig wild vegetables and always picks a bunch of wild vegetables.
I am very shy, flattering to help the administrator carry the bag. Aunt saw that I was delicate and sensible, so she called me directly to the front and occupied a seat for only a few minutes.
Sitting in the study room for a while is another matter. Totally different. Sitting in a fixed seat is really "more difficult". In my junior year, my friend soldier was preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, and he came to occupy the seat on the second day of the New Year's Day.
His home is in Qingdao, which has a geographical advantage and occupies a very overbearing position. As soon as the marker was pulled on the table, the dragon and phoenix dance wrote: the newest soldier in the chemistry department occupies a seat, and then marks the date, and it's over!
Of course, the soldiers didn't go in through the main entrance, and of course it wouldn't be the back door, because at this time, the faculty and staff were on holiday and the study room wouldn't open. This grandson takes the route of a gentleman on the beam and touches it through the window. It's really the main force to play together. This physical quality is leverage!
Privately, this is all civilized, but it's worse. Just put on the chain, lock the tables and chairs, and leave the iron general to lock the door. What's more, buying a study desk at the back of the classroom out of your own pocket is simply burning your bridges and throwing caution to the wind.
Facts have proved that the soldiers' Spring Festival raid is "natural". Since the beginning of school, the postgraduate entrance examination army has repeatedly used markers and correction fluid to "read for ten years, add and delete five times" on the table, which is quite courageous when Mr. Qin Xue wrote A Dream of Red Mansions.
Finally, he killed his red eye and directly fought for a seat, picking up a "leather hammer" ...
But these don't mean anything, because the bigger the wardrobe, the louder the noise, and the less you can persist. They often don't know the true meaning of still water and deep flow, and dripping water wears away the stone. During my stay in the study room, I haven't met the owner of the study table once, but those of us who don't occupy seats and keep fighting guerrilla warfare stay longer.
Later, I thought, this is because we have a sense of crisis. When we get a seat, we'll shoot and learn. When people come, you can move your seat in. You must have a good attitude. "We are not happy-until the end of the day, we met. We understand. What is the relationship between acquaintances? " Naturally, it won't embarrass you. Especially for girls, this trick is particularly useful. You can grin, maybe people will leave as soon as they see your virtue. In this way, I can sit comfortably all morning.
At this time, walking on the road of angels, I feel comfortable, and I will calm down and carefully observe everyone passing by.
People who are in a hurry and have a strong pace are mostly excellent learners. They either go to the library to study or go to the basketball court to exercise. The pace is slow and the body is swaying. Most of these people don't study and don't live in dormitories.
Although knowledge is intangible, it does exist and can make you feel calm and confident.
When I graduated from senior three, I walked on the road of angels again and suddenly found it so beautiful. This beauty has always been there, but I lack a pair of eyes that will find it.
This is a long tree-lined road with tall French phoenix trees standing on both sides, which is thicker than two or three people can hold. Those buttonwood trees are particularly tall, and the top of the trunk is where you look up.
Those leaves are extremely dense, just like tourmaline embedded in the sky. Only by careful observation can we find a ray of sunshine through those green leaves. Only when the wind is strong, they will drag their fat bodies lazily and move a little to let the sun come down for air.
At that moment, I seemed to step into the Byzantine Dome Church full of green eyes, and I seemed to be in the middle of Mount Tai, where the green was dripping after the rain. This is a simple combination of the two, green and intoxicating, but deep and long.
Those gray magpies, although extremely ordinary, still live happily, live into the scenery in others' eyes and fly into their own sky. Isn't this also a state?
After school in the early morning, my roommates were still sleeping. I didn't tell them because I couldn't stand such sensationalism. When I came out, the soldier stayed outside and insisted on seeing me off.
The sky was gray and quiet, and we walked out of the dormitory, relatively silent. I was not admitted to the civil service at that time, and my job was not settled. I'm just a loser in life.
I used to stubbornly believe that I would never miss my university and never cry with my classmates, but I was still wrong. When I left, I held the soldiers with all my strength, much like those seniors in Little Square who shouted wolf and land. I had an epiphany. It turned out that only through personal experience can I know what it means to be reluctant to part with you and feel pain.
Last time I passed Angel Road, I really wanted to say something. I even want to shout "I'm leaving", but I don't know if the magpie can understand. I'm experiencing it, really!
Suddenly, I heard a magpie "ga ... ga ...", and then there were several screams. At last a large group of magpies came out under pressure. They flew to the horizon at dawn in the east. ...