How a stay-at-home mom feels happy. Who knows how a stay-at-home mom feels! Since this magazine opened an online survey on the emotional distress of stay-at-home moms, moms have responded enthusiastically, and votes have been pouring in like flakes! There are indeed many things that a full-time mom needs to adapt to, and some people are troubled by this, but there are also many who are just as comfortable as a duck in water! Let popular blogger Grace share with us her experience of happy full-time parenting! Change your habits and mentality. Don’t let parenting pressure come and affect my beauty.
According to this magazine’s online survey, the top two causes of emotional distress for stay-at-home moms are No. 1, Not making money but not liking it. Asking for money (nearly 50%) and secondly, not wanting to become a yellow-faced mother-in-law because they are busy taking care of their children (more than 20%). It seems that stay-at-home mothers not only desire financial independence, but also hope that they can maintain a beautiful appearance while being busy with housework. Grace, who has been a full-time housewife for four years, has experienced an emotional transition. Housewife Life 4 files are open to the public! File 1? Years of working as a full-time mom: 4 years
The beginning of life as a housewife
Before I got pregnant, my husband worked in Shanghai, and they were separated for more than two years. One day, my husband wanted to She quit her job and went to Shanghai. After Grace quit her job, her husband was transferred to Taiwan. Half a year later, when she wanted to work again, she found out that she was pregnant. From then on, she stayed at home full-time until now. If I had to describe my current life in one sentence, it would be "live what I want to do, and do what I want to do." Although there are hardships and joys, I feel that every day is fulfilling, happy, and satisfying.
The adaptation period from OL to full-time mom
The adaptation period occurs before the child is 1 year old. Because it is always inconvenient to take a baby out alone, and during breastfeeding, breast engorgement, discomfort, and breast inflammation may occur, which makes it a very difficult time. But fortunately, I got to know the stay-at-home mothers who live nearby, and because of the opportunities to communicate and share with each other, the discomfort got better with the exchange of information and the sharing of little secrets. During the one year from pregnancy to the birth of the child, because I was a new mother and all my friends were working, I was often bored and couldn’t talk about it. Also, because I stayed at home almost all day, it became difficult to meet each other. A mother in the same situation. Sometimes it's really hard to find someone with whom you can share the trivial matters of life or complain to and chat with. I met this group of mothers at that time because I clicked on a mother-child exchange area in the area where I live on a parent-child family website. After the initial exchange, we all met at a coffee shop near my home, so Grace promoted the 4-month-old mother. My daughter went to attend. From that time we met until now, we still keep in touch even though we have moved. We occasionally visit each other's homes or meet up to chat. Because we are all stay-at-home mothers, we have a good time. arrange.
Tips for a fulfilling life
Identity 2: Cat slave
In addition to being a full-time mom, Grace is also a cat slave. Not only does she have cats at home, but she also extends her love to pick up stray cats and become a halfway mother to these cats. The origin is because I worked as a volunteer at a dog mother's house before I became pregnant. Because the dogs raised in her house were more likely to be disabled or old and sick, so more hands were needed to bathe them. One time, the dog's mother picked up an old cat, which was adopted and then returned. It may be because she was not used to using cat litter and was prone to defecation. Because you can have contact with adult cats during the stable period in the later stages of pregnancy, you and your husband discussed fostering this cat first. Later, because you knew that the adoption rate of old cats was not high, you officially considered this cat as your family, and then Start picking up nursing cats. As the children grow up and become more independent, Grace has more time to take care of the kittens. Not only can she maintain her parenting life, but she can also do things that she finds meaningful.
Further reading: Breeding yes or no? When the baby said: "Mommy~ I want to raise a dog!"
Identity 3: Art master who loves cooking
In addition, Xiaoliu started to help her mother cook She also likes cooking, and occasionally makes cakes. In addition, she used to like painting and crochet, and her mother-in-law also loves handicrafts and painting. They have similar interests, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will compete together, so she is never bored when she is pregnant, no matter what. Even if I can’t go, I still enjoy crocheting at home and then display the finished products at home. Now, because I am afraid that my paints and yarn will be accidentally eaten by children and cats, I have temporarily stopped buying them. Grace said that her current life is like the retired life she dreamed of before, but she just retired early! File 2? Sharing daily schedule
Super normal schedule
Grace laughed and said that her schedule is almost the same as that of her children! She also shared her experiences and opinions from her life of raising children full-time. Grace doesn't let her children watch TV because she doesn't watch TV herself. Therefore, the TV at home is almost never turned on. If you want to know the news of the day, you go directly to the Internet. Moreover, she feels that the images on TV will make the children focus only on vision, which will not only inhibit the children's imagination, but also watch TV for a long time. Affects children's intellectual development; today's TV programs, whether cartoons or not, have great plot fluctuations. When children's lives are actually relatively simple, it is easy for children to have their emotions fluctuate with the ups and downs of the plot on the screen. . Grace began to cultivate the habit of reading books after her child was one month old. At first, she let her daughter look at colorful pictures, and then told the stories vividly according to the pictures. After three years, the books were very attractive to the children, not only making her daughter Concentrate her attention, increase her vocabulary, expand her horizons, and most importantly, make her want to read. True Mother's Scripture
And Grace doesn't often take her children to attend courses because she found that if the children are too young to attend too many courses, firstly, the children will feel tired easily, and secondly, the diet It is also easy to become abnormal. Because you are bound to eat outside when you are traveling to attend classes. Eating out is not as healthy in terms of nutrition and food safety as if you were cooking at home. In addition, children's habits at home have not yet been stabilized, and allowing them to attend many outside courses will have an impact on them. Their emotions are prone to great fluctuations. In addition, they are easily tired, have a bad mood when studying, and do not have enough energy to attend class. Parents expect On the contrary, the learning and absorption capacity is greatly reduced. Therefore, Grace believes that parents can actually try to teach courses such as brain training and potential development themselves, because "stimulating children's interest in reading is more important than not letting children lose at the starting point."
Daily routine overview
File 3? Reasons why you don’t need to ask for money
Girls should know how to manage their own lives and have their own sources of money. . Grace honestly said that she used to love spending money when she was an OL because her salary was good and she lived at home before getting married, so she had no such expenses. My mother helped me save the bonuses I received twice a year, and later I started to learn how to trade stocks. Of course I would lose money at the beginning, but later I felt that if I wanted to buy, I had to buy the best one, so I bought the stock king at that time, and found that the stock king not only kept rising, but also led the market to rise, and the prospects were promising. At the beginning, I bought 1, 2, and 3 pieces, because the general trend was right, and with the addition of allotments, the profits would increase. Later, when I had extra money, I started to learn how to build a fund and read the market. But now because we have more time to watch the market, we sometimes do short in and short out. Because I bought stocks, I began to pay attention to economic trends and related news, and forced myself to read books on this subject. This is also a way to enrich myself. So even if you sometimes want to buy luxury goods or buy things for your children, you will use your own money; you don’t have to pay for the extra expenses of picking up the cat in transit, and you can afford it. Therefore, no matter whether your husband is the kind of person who cares about where his wife's money is spent, he will not feel that he is tied up in the use of money.
Grace’s tips
In addition to using your previous savings properly, family situations are unpredictable, such as illness or changes in marital status. Even if you don’t invest, you still have to save some money for yourself, no matter how big or small it is, but it must be something you can use flexibly!
Extended reading: Use the right methods for buying a house, investing, insurance, and accounting! Financial experts teach you how to be richer after having children? File 4? The reason why you won’t become a yellow-faced mother-in-law
Many mothers will keep eating in order to make their babies fat from the beginning of pregnancy. This is a very scary thing. Even during every prenatal check-up, Obstetricians and gynecologists will tell you that you are too fat, but because you always feel that there is an extra person in your belly, you have to eat two portions, but this is actually wrong. Since she was pregnant, she has cooked three meals by herself and eaten them at normal times. She will not eat extra snacks or late-night snacks, except when she is seriously ill, she will eat sour plum preserves. Grace added that it is natural for pregnant women to gain weight, but it does not mean that they can gain unlimited weight. Grace calculated the weight gain benchmark based on BMI in the early stages of pregnancy, strengthened weight management every month, and paid attention to what she must eat during pregnancy. With nutrition and proper exercise, even if she is only over 8 kilograms overweight, she can still give birth to a fat girl weighing 3,461cm, and still have plenty of breast milk to feed her daughter. She emphasized that the baby does not have to be as fat as the mother is! The baby will only absorb the nutrients it needs and need, and the excess will become fat on the mother! Therefore, if you gain too much weight during pregnancy, you will definitely not be able to lose weight so quickly, and if you need to fully take care of the child and breastfeed, it is inevitable that your clothes will look loose. It's only when I occasionally go out to meet friends that I realize that all the clothes in my wardrobe are one size too small and can't fit in, and I begin to feel very unconfident about my appearance. Therefore, at the moment of pregnancy, you should actually prepare yourself mentally. Don't eat too much because you think one person can only eat two people, so as not to fall into a vicious cycle where the body cannot recover and lose self-confidence. However, if you go on a diet at this time, you will easily feel frustrated and tired because you deliberately eat less; because taking care of children is very draining on your energy and energy, dieting will make you less energetic and irritable. Grace herself slowly lost weight two years after giving birth. After three years of doing exercises to slim down her lower abdomen at home, her annoying postpartum lower abdomen was also eliminated! In addition, trying not to eat out and drink drinks is one of the habits Grace maintains.
Rehabilitate! Isn’t the life of a stay-at-home mom boring?
Grace said that people often ask her, isn’t it boring to be a stay-at-home mom? She believes that life is not just about work, but you must find your own interests. Even if you don't like it now, it may change in the future. For example, since she majored in Japanese and her husband is Japanese, most people would think that her Japanese must be good enough. Although Japanese has become like a native language to her, she does not like to settle for the status quo, but likes the feeling of continuous progress. After working in the same position in the company for 3 or 4 years, I began to feel that things every day were very simple. When I started to get used to it and became comfortable, small flaws would appear. When she realized this, she went back to study Japanese, because in her view, people must make progress to gain self-confidence. If they keep spinning in circles, they will inevitably follow the same rules and feel uneasy.