My roommate was practicing seve, and the whole person shook in front of the mirror several times and twisted into an embarrassing criminal.

Another roommate looked up and said to me, didn't you learn jazz in the dance studio when you were a freshman? Why didn't you go later?

I remember very clearly how I got into this situation step by step since I came into contact with dance.

When I was a child, my body was soft and it was easy to practice dancing. As long as I practice my basic skills hard every day, I won't be too bad. Because I like the sparkle of the stage and the way others applaud me. Learning to dance, I am not afraid of stage fright, so adults are happy to tease me to perform. When I was in primary school, I always led the dance. I painted my face with adult makeup and fantasized about dancing.

02

In junior high school, more children got together and saw classmates who were better than me, both in appearance and study, and even had many talents that I had never seen before. The teacher asked each of us to introduce ourselves, and various answers won applause after applause.

I take part in long-distance running, give speeches at competitions, learn to write articles and take exercise books. I am too busy to make friends, disdain to stand in line with people who have no dance foundation, and don't want to participate in group rehearsals and performances. What I didn't know at that time was that dancing was a way to quickly correct my body shape and temperament for my rapid growth at that time. Now think about it. At that time, my primary school was still good.

Gradually, my dance began to have problems, and I found that the basic skills had begun to struggle. I can't even keep up with the rhythm. I have to repeat the movements once or twice before five or six times.

Especially flustered, I began to pick it up again and found it really difficult. And there is no time at all. There is not so much time for you to wander between your dancing hobby and your academic performance. Before and after practice, there is not so much energy to make you go to class hungry. There are not so many correct study guides to let you know every decomposition.

03

Later, in the art test of senior three, jazz was still used as a talent show in the test. When I entered the university, I was in a hurry to go to class. I wanted to reuse my previous foundation and pick it up again. At that time, a hard-working girl could have gone to the dance studio with me, but we were the organization next door.

Later, she practiced hard and began to go out with the team to perform. Then she taught herself to host and learned to host independently. Pick up Shang Yan alone. No problem. As for me, I gave up dancing a long time ago, started remedial classes after leaving school, worked as an intern in a media company, and made money by writing articles myself. Later, I could only dance with my girlfriends and strangers in the bar of Wudaokou, and I was complacent in front of the big mirror. If I have a full dance now, I know I can't.

At that time, I always said that her body was more suitable for dancing than me, and her parents supported her dancing because she had better resources than me. But until today, I have a deep memory in my heart, how I started to be lazy, how I simplified step by step, and whether I began to secretly enjoy myself when others were bleeding and crying.

I can't say that the life difference between me and the people around me started with a dance, nor can I say that my life with them is good or bad, but it is such a small thing that constantly reminds me that the gap between people is slowly opened by a small habit. Whether it was the performance at that time or the bigger pattern in the future.

04

Looking back on my whole life process, I find that this laziness and muddling along are everywhere, not just accidents in dancing, but all accidents are inevitable in my life.

I am good at all subjects except writing, and I have a similar attitude in my life. Even though I know I want an elegant and quiet life, I still make a mess around. I have a good impression on a person, but I always waver and test my sincerity.

When you realize that you are not as good as others and are seriously left behind, you will subconsciously find reasons for yourself. For example, the reincarnation technology is good, the face value is high, there are people to help, there are powerful husbands, and there are no super-good-looking bosses, so this is the case.

Honestly, how did we get to this state step by step? Your heart is brighter than a mirror, which is nothing more than a little gap.

05

Today, Monty and I talked about losing weight. She said that the number of girls across the street has increased from 120 to more than 90, and their figure, appearance and clothes have changed a lot. I don't know what she went through, how many times she bit her teeth, and how many times she hit her former self. All I know is that she succeeded. From the third semester to the present four months, I have carefully carved myself little by little.

We can comfort ourselves that we are not fat. We can say that everyone has their own life, and there is no need to be equal with others. But how to deal with the depression of seeing others getting better and better and yourself getting worse?

If my body is more suitable for dancing than others since I was a child, if my parents support me to dance, if I can still take pictures, PS and edit, will I be the one with excellent grades?

Certainly not, because I know my shortcomings and strengths, and I also understand that many resources are not owned by me, nor can I make great achievements after I have them.

Calm down and think about how you got here step by step.

I'm little n, a female soldier. Nice to meet you.