Huang Xiaolin Wenzhou No.2 Middle School
"Look, look, find a friend, find a good friend ..." In our naive and romantic childhood, we all played a game called "Finding Friends": a group of children sang and danced in a circle, exchanged feelings and made new friends. "Isn't it a pleasure to have friends coming from afar?" This sentence by the philosopher Confucius is well known in China. Marx said that human nature is the sum of all social relations. The relationship between people and society is, in the final analysis, the relationship between people. Liking to make friends is a manifestation of human sociality. Understanding other different lifestyles, exchanging ideas and cultures and seeking like-minded friends are the common pursuit of human beings, and adults and teenagers are no exception. Maslow also believes that everyone needs to belong to a certain social group and be respected by others. These social needs are as important as physiological needs such as eating and dressing. Without the cooperation of groups, not only human beings, but also many creatures will become extinct.
Making friends is a normal expression of extroversion of middle school students at a certain age. Russian poet Pushkin once said, "No matter whether it's sentimental poems, beautiful articles or leisurely happiness, nothing can replace extremely close friendship." Once upon a time, the phenomenon of middle school students making "pen pals" once became a charming landscape on campus. With the continuous extension of the network, there is another shortcut to making friends on campus-online dating. Internet has become a "window" for teenagers to communicate with society. "Making friends online" has also become the new fashion favorite of middle school students, and "You E" has become the mantra of teenagers. A "netizen era" is quietly forming among students, and various netizens with the same interests and needs have formed various virtual communities. The new way of making friends is impacting and changing the traditional interpersonal relationship, and the true mentality of middle school students making friends online has become a problem worth thinking about.
1, seeking the feeling of equality and freedom
Adolescence is another development peak of life. With the development of physiology, the independent consciousness of middle school students is relatively enhanced. They don't want to be bound or even controlled by their parents everywhere. They are eager to be respected, understood and have the same freedom of communication as adults. But the communication in real life may bring them pressure, and the virtual space in the network will give them a relatively relaxed environment. This kind of making friends is a way of making friends with the internet as the intermediary, the text as the carrier and the virtual communication role as the main body, which has the characteristics of equality and freedom. Your social status has no influence on the internet, whether you are a professor or a student; Whether you are a politician or an ordinary citizen; Your right to speak is the same. Whether your writing is popular or not has no halo effect. What matters is whether your writing is attractive or not and whether your topic is interesting. This feature enables middle school students to vent their true happiness, troubles, loneliness and pain on the Internet. Generally speaking, there is no need to worry about any punishment. You can also play a satisfactory role according to your own preferences, and the shortcomings in real life can be made up by the virtual creation on the Internet.
2. Dispel inner loneliness and confusion
"Tell others about your troubles, and your troubles will be halved", which seems to be an effective way to decompress yourself. Growth is inevitably accompanied by some troubles, whether in life or in study, but there is a lack of communication between brothers and sisters of the same age at home. I want to communicate with my parents and see their busy figures or absent-minded responses, but I want to stop. Hungry and confused hearts become disappointed in expectation. Perhaps in parents' hearts, they always think that the great things you children can do are just the smell of teenagers trying to worry. Some students who live in the teacher's house lack emotional communication. Over time, many middle school students are reluctant to tell their teachers and parents when they have troubles. So they chose the online world, because everyone can not disclose their real names and addresses, so they don't have to worry that the other party will reveal their little secrets, and there will be no burden in their hearts. They can say whatever they want, and they don't have to worry about being called young and mature or being teased by others. In fact, an important reason why many middle school students choose to make friends online is the concealment of the network. Because people can freely reveal their innermost secrets and pains on the Internet, it can be said that anonymity is unique-people who make friends only need to disclose their email addresses without showing up, which is the best choice for many people. As for whether the other party really understands, that is secondary, because telling is a good vent and relaxation.
3. Understand the opposite sex and make friends with the opposite sex.
Middle school students are in a special mature stage of sexual physiology, and relatives of the opposite sex are coming in the near future with the development and maturity of sexual physiology. Middle school students in this period have a clear sense of curiosity and closeness to students of the opposite sex, and their concepts are no longer limited to the dogma that men and women are not close. They like to take the initiative to associate with the opposite sex, hoping to get the attention and goodwill of the opposite sex students. This mutual attraction and admiration between boys and girls is normal. But most parents and teachers often ignore this problem, not because it is trivial, but because they think it should not be discussed, at least not "prematurely". When they realize that their children or students have reached the Seeds of Love, many parents and teachers are either anxious, trying to dissuade them by innuendo, or trying to stop them, saying nothing, but rarely communicate openly with middle school students, let alone provide them with guidance. Middle school students want to satisfy their adolescent curiosity about the opposite sex by interacting with the opposite sex in the form of "netizens". Many of the "netizens" that middle school students make online are mostly the opposite sex. The online world is a "safe haven" for emotions. By chatting with friends of the opposite sex online, we can understand the inner emotional world of the opposite sex, feel the considerate understanding of the opposite sex, and release and relieve our repressed emotions at the same time. This whole process is relatively secret, which will not arouse the doubts of teachers and parents, and there is no need to worry about being classified as "heterogeneous" by classmates.
Step 4 seek ideal friendship
Due to the increasing pressure of learning competition, many middle school students lament that their friendship is getting weaker and weaker. Some students talk with relish about the plots of various TV dramas in class every day in order to convince their classmates that he is born with excellent grades. In fact, he recited it from the TV weekly. There are also some students who have good study materials and always keep them strictly for fear of being shared by their classmates. Some middle school students are withdrawn and arrogant because of their parents' excessive concern and doting, and they don't like their classmates around them. Some students don't get along with others because of their hobbies, so they pin their friendship on "netizens", hoping to find pure friendship online. A middle school student who likes literature made some literary lovers on the Internet. They hold a "salon party" every week to talk about their writing feelings and their views on some literary works. They not only found intimate friends with similar interests, but also found the "network friendship" they longed for.
5. Experience the illusion of identity
Modern middle school students often shout "tired". On the one hand, this feeling of "mental fatigue" comes from the heavy academic burden; On the one hand, there are goodwill expectations from parents, teachers and classmates. Especially some excellent students, they must constantly break through their existing achievements in order to maintain their perfect image in the eyes of others. In order to be an excellent model student, they can't even release a little bit of their inner feelings, and over time they will have the helplessness of "being on top of the world". But in online games or chatting, you can completely release yourself, return to the ordinary side of human nature, talk about stars and Kan Kan fashion; At the same time, you can try a different life and be a brave rebel. This illusory feeling relaxed his tight heartstrings.
It cannot be ignored that communication is very important for teenagers, otherwise they can't socialize and learn to deal with people. In the past, teenagers' communication mainly took place at school, which was a strictly controllable process and could bring positive influence to students. Online communication is a new way of communication, which is the most difficult to control among all kinds of communication methods of teenagers, and it is also easy to cause many negative effects, such as being cheated and cheated. Therefore, making friends online should become a problem that schools, families and society attach great importance to. Teenagers must keep a normal mind in making friends, take study and work as the center, analyze objectively, and avoid being addicted to the internet. Faced with such a problem, teachers and parents can neither give up eating because of choking, nor let middle school students roam freely on the Internet. Both schools and parents should pay attention to students' psychological growth and guide them correctly.