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What is online dating?

The so-called online love is just a phone line, two lonely hearts, in the middle of the night, not seeing each other, but using ten fingers to communicate love. The so-called online love means that computers talk to each other, keyboards talk to keyboards, and mice fall in love. The so-called online love means "let my love float across your network" when chatting, and "only you understand my lonely heart best" when there is a power outage. The so-called online love is chat room love. The chat room is a love supermarket, there is always something for you to choose from. The so-called online love is love on QQ. The avatars on QQ are like stars, there is always one that lights up for you. The so-called online love is love on BBS. BBS is filled with thousands of styles, and there is always a feeling open to you. The so-called online dating is a piece of software. This software has the function of practicing typing. Online dating may not make you a love expert, but applying for a typist position should be a no-brainer. The so-called online dating is a game. This game is simple and easy to play. With two IDs, prepare a chicken, a cat, and a mouse for each, and then hit the keyboard repeatedly to experience the feeling of heartbeat. The so-called online dating is a virus. When this virus attacks, it is easy to turn on and off the computer, and garbled characters such as "I love you, I love you, I love you" appear repeatedly. The so-called online dating is a fitness program. The road to online love is long, and you can achieve the effect of exercise without playing ball and running; the road to love is rugged and steep, and you can enjoy the magnificent scenery without having to endure hardships. As time goes by, it will be perfect

and it will be immune to a hundred poisons. The so-called online dating is a weight loss plan. One kind of lovesickness, two idle sorrows, which make people feel haggard. The beauty of online dating lies in distance, but modern people regard thinness as beauty, which proves the correctness and necessity of online dating. The so-called online dating is a kind of sport. Let’s look at people who get up early to run. There are fat people and thin people. Some fat people want to be thin and some want to be fat. It’s really hard to think about it. It’s better for everyone to engage in online dating. "Carry out an online dating campaign to enhance people's physical fitness." The so-called online dating means using the screen as a moon and a person to laugh, cry, and be happy alone. The so-called online dating is to stand in front of the mirror and fall in love facing yourself. The so-called online dating is a preview of love or a review of love. The so-called online love means only loving a little bit, only loving strangers, and only loving without marriage. The so-called online love means that you will die if you see the light, and you will die if you don't see the light. The so-called online dating is torture! It’s just beautiful! The so-called online dating is like a small sail in the sea, which can never reach the shore! There are so many topics about online dating in reality. I accidentally saw someone discussing this topic today. It seems that people who surf the Internet always escape. But such a problem. Different people have different views on online dating. Some people avoid it for fear of accidentally falling into the trap of online dating and getting hurt. Others think it doesn't matter and think that if they meet someone they like, they can do it online. Online love is also good; some people think that although online love is beautiful and romantic, it is always too nihilistic and too painful after the beauty is over. They want to try it but are afraid, so it adds an ambiguous feeling.

Edit this paragraph about the special feelings of online dating

The Internet allows strangers to meet each other. Even if they are far apart, there is no sense of distance because of the magic of the Internet, and our world also has It becomes more exciting and vivid with the Internet. Almost everyone who surfs the Internet will lament the illusion of the Internet. Almost all people have resisted the charm of online dating, but most people cannot withstand such temptation and are attracted by the mystery of the Internet, and human emotions are also changing. It will be affected by the attachment to it. It can be seen that there is no indestructible emotion. When some incomprehensible emotions arise from the heart, when some disturbing feelings spread in the bottom of the heart, even people who think they are very rational will sometimes become confused and collapse, and they will be dismissed by a kind of emotion that they once dismissed. I will be disturbed by the feeling, and will be throbbed by a love that has been proven to be illusory by countless people. And these heartbeats may occur inadvertently, making people unable to guard against them. By the time they discover them, they are already caught off guard, which only makes them fall into a more confusing state. In real life, many people wear false masks and rarely reveal their true feelings and inner thoughts in front of others. The lack of talk in life makes many people feel physically and mentally exhausted. In the online world, facing the computer, there is a lot less pressure. We can put aside all pretense and communicate with people here using calm words. This kind of communication makes the distance between hearts closer. Unreservedly releasing our own moods in the emotional world gives us a real space to be ourselves, allowing our moods and dreams to fly along with the music in such a real space.

Maybe in life, it's hard for you to say "I love you" easily to the person you like, but on the Internet, you can boldly call him out. You can give flowers, kisses and hugs to the person you like online, you can also write a love letter to the person you like, propose marriage or even have an online marriage. Although all of these are virtual scenes, people The feeling is real, and like real love, it has ups and downs. Some people will also say that these are all impulsive behaviors. Even if everything is said and done online, and they break up in the end, there is no need to bear any responsibility, so online dating is just a game and a dream. However, when you fall in love with someone, those true feelings, those touches, those trances, those inner desires, those sweet romances, those intimate moments, can you say that it is a love without feelings and responsibilities? Maybe the person behind the screen is just an abstract code to you, but those feelings of love do exist. No one can erase these inner emotions because of the illusion of the Internet, even if there is no result. The sad past, the memory it gives people will still be hidden in the heart. Online dating has an intoxicating beauty that makes some people obsessed with it without regrets. Online dating makes love a little more romantic. Online dating makes life a little more confused and beautiful. But no matter how beautiful it is, online dating is always too much. Nothingness anymore. Therefore, many times, for many people, online dating comes and goes in a hurry. When all the blushes fade away like a tide with the encounter, the hesitation between reality and virtuality, and the concerns that were so far away may also fade away due to the fading of enthusiasm. You may be unwilling to give up, but if you continue, the distance between reality and the concreteness of reality makes you feel physically and mentally exhausted. After weighing the balance, you finally choose to give up, and everything comes to nothing and becomes nothing. This is also The most sad and helpless part about online dating. The beauty and romance of online dating allow people who surf the Internet to have an online love affair in a virtual space. The allure and uniqueness of online dating also adds a fatal trap for people who wander around the Internet, and they fall into intoxication. Although the flowers of online dating bloom beautifully, they bear very few fruits. This is the most painful thing for those involved in it. But people are all animals with emotions, so it’s better to treat online dating correctly, don’t have extravagant expectations, don’t hurt, and don’t release your inner emotions easily. This may be the best outcome.

Edit this paragraph: Dangers

The charm of online dating lies in the illusion of the Internet, and the harm of online dating lies precisely in its illusion. If you naively think that the Internet is a paradise and linger there, it will be in danger. Normal real life, friends, don’t take online dating seriously! After all, the romance of online dating is rooted in the illusory Internet. It can only be used as a spice or side dish in life at most. It must not be treated as a big meal. If you indulge in it, you will lose more than you gain. Indeed, there are also online lovers who actually become lovers in real life and get along well. That is because the two parties do not wear many masks when communicating online. Therefore, after meeting, the two parties will feel that the gap is not big, and they can still be together online. If you fall in love with abstract images, it will naturally be easier to accept real people offline. However, not every online love will end with a happy ending, more often it will "die in the light".

Once said: The Internet usually produces three types of people. The first type will highlight his secondary personality on the Internet, the second type of person will become the kind of person he "wants" to be on the Internet, and the third type of person will become the person he "cannot" be on the Internet. That kind of person. Therefore, many people online wear masks. The person you like on the Internet may be a completely different person in reality. Therefore, the emotions generated online are not complete, and there are few successful examples of online love returning to reality. After netizens meet, the result is often sad. Examples like this are not uncommon in online relationships. The farce that happened not long ago where online lovers only found out they were of the same sex when they met online is the best example! Maybe people will argue that this is because they fail to distinguish between illusion and reality. If online dating is controlled in illusion, online dating will still be a paradise.

This argument is actually untenable. After all, people are animals with emotions. There are a few people who can tolerate their extremely intimate lovers online who are always so illusive and unpredictable; They calmly tell themselves that this is online love and that it is illusory; how many people can coldly separate their emotions from reality, and in reality can completely pretend that things have not happened at all! This is especially true for online marriage. Compared with concubinage and bigamy, the psychological pressure it causes is not much smaller. The impact of online dating is not limited to netizens. Spending a long time online will undoubtedly reduce the time you have to communicate with your relatives, friends, and colleagues, and will naturally cause inconvenience to your family, life, and work. More and more American women are complaining that their husbands spend a lot of time chatting with strange women online, causing them to feel an unprecedented family crisis. Private investigator Dan Greter said that "extramarital affairs" caused by online chatting and online communication are causing more and more families to disintegrate. Among the cases he took over, 15% of "peach affairs" were caused by the Internet; many people Indulging in the sweet words of a stranger in the dead of night, turning a blind eye to the man or woman next to him who washes the dishes for three meals a day. An expert on marriage issues said: "The Internet connects the world, but it often causes problems about disconnection." Online dating has brought a powerful and destructive influence on our traditional concepts and models of love and family. impact.

Edit this paragraph to understand online dating objectively

Online dating slowly destroys marriage

“I am really at a loss, all I can think about is him, even in I can't help but think about him when I'm at work. Why is this? We met and got to know each other through the Internet. He comes and goes without a trace like the wind. I have never seen his real face in real life. , but he has deeply occupied my mind. I tried hard to control myself not to turn on the computer or surf the Internet, but in the end I opened it accidentally. I wanted to know what "clues" he had left, even just a little bit, in my heart. I feel at ease. I also know that he is also caring about me. "This is a case of "online dating" between married people. The heroine is a married woman, but she still can't resist the temptation of the Internet and falls in love." The quagmire of online dating. According to the latest statistics from the Shanghai Divorce Legal Consulting Network, extramarital affairs have become the number one killer of couples in Shanghai, and "online dating" is the fastest growing form of extramarital affairs, accounting for 20% of all extramarital affairs. In real life, extramarital affairs are criticized by the mainstream values ??of society, but the concealment of the Internet provides people with a relatively free space, so it has gradually become the main way to have extramarital affairs. Researchers from the China Women's University

department believe: "Modern life full of competition makes many people feel boring, boring, and stressed, dragging their bodies full of fatigue but helpless; the trivial marriage life has made couples a topic of communication Less and less, both men and women are likely to find a safe haven online. "Some people think that compared to extramarital love in reality, online love is much less harmful and can be forgiven, but this is not the case. American psychologist West Bay believes that love in traditional marriage should include three main components: passion, intimacy and commitment. Married people's online dating poses a challenge to the traditional view of marriage: extramarital affairs in reality are the pursuit of passion and the destruction of commitments, while online dating seems to be a softer extramarital affair. It is a "body in Caoying, heart in Han" "People are at home and their hearts are online. On the surface, their commitment to marriage has not been broken, and they can still find the long-lost passion in marriage. However, online dating leaves latent marital problems unresolved for a long time and causes long-term damage to marriages. Compared with other forms of extramarital affairs, the poison of online extramarital affairs to marriage is chronic.

Online dating has a large number of people but a low success rate

The Internet group is dominated by young people, and the youth group has a strong sense of identity. The result of following the trend has led to the popularity of online dating among this group. Facing the increasing phenomenon of online dating, what is the attitude of young people? The survey shows that 65% of the respondents have a neutral attitude towards online dating, neither explicitly expressing opposition nor openly expressing approval. There are only a few people who clearly express their approval (12%) or opposition (24%) to online dating. According to a sample survey among students by relevant departments, 95% of students believe that there is no love in online dating, but 35% of students have experienced online dating. 91% of students are not optimistic about online dating, but contradictory to this is that 63% of students said that they would try it if given the opportunity.

Among them, 56% thought it was due to emptiness and loneliness, and 39% thought it was due to emptiness and loneliness. 14% of students have experienced online dating once, and 21% of students have experienced online dating 2 to 3 times. However, as to whether online dating is likely to succeed, the respondents' answers were quite divided: 8% of the respondents thought it was "very possible", while 36% and 28% thought it was "somewhat possible" and "uncertain" respectively. In addition, 25% and 4% of the respondents chose "unlikely" and "definitely impossible". Optimists believe that online dating pays more attention to the exchange of ideas and spiritual communication. Love based on this should be stronger and have a greater chance of success. Pessimists believe that

It is a relatively single way of getting to know each other in the early stages of online dating. This way makes both parties lack actual real contact and understanding, so it is not easy to succeed.

Online dating changes values

Online dating is a new change in interpersonal communication and a new way of life for people. Its emergence will also bring about problems of one kind or another. The reporter interviewed some young people, and they all said that the success rate of online dating is very low, so why do many netizens still enjoy it? After careful analysis, the main reason is that people's values ????have changed. In the past: a thing was either good or bad, and there could be no third situation. Nowadays, people generally believe that good and bad, right and wrong intersect with each other without absolute boundaries. Young people’s curiosity for new things inspires them to try some fringe behaviors. According to the survey, today's young people have shown considerable tolerance towards online dating. Most of the respondents said that this is a matter of personal choice and will not interfere or judge.

Online dating may cause split personality

In addition, the survey also found that most online dating people come from cities. Maybe young people in relatively developed areas spend longer time online and have less rejection of things, so they are more likely to fall in love online. Through analysis, experts engaged in psychological education research have found that online dating includes various psychological types such as game type, emotional sustenance type, romantic pursuit type, self-expression type, fashion pursuit type, and follow-the-crowd type. No matter which type it is, almost all have the same characteristics: regarding online dating as an online game and online emotional communication, "not only can all the rules of real society be completely thrown away, but also it can blur Gender and identity, treating everything as a game. "Experts believe that after entering

, the invisible network line began to replace the red line of Yuelao, and many men and women who had never met or were even separated by oceans met through the Internet. , falling in love is not surprising, but do not regard online love as the pursuit of life. Surveys show that some young people do not rest at noon or night, and work overtime to fall in love online. This not only seriously affects their study or work, but also easily causes them to become withdrawn and even cause split personality.

The Internet is just a way of communication

The Internet is a very concealed way of communication. People’s interactions with the opposite sex range from the earliest introduction by a matchmaker to later letters and phone calls. The difference with today's online dating is that in other ways you can more or less see, hear, and come into contact with the other person's people and things, but on the Internet, you cannot have a perceptual understanding of the other person. Marriage experts believe that for people living in the information age, the Internet is an unavoidable way of communication. Falling in love or even getting married through the Internet can break the narrow interpersonal circle around you and expand your choices. However, because the online world is virtual and separated from the material foundation, it does not have stability. For marriages and families that pursue stability, the practical effect of this method cannot be exaggerated. Experts from the judicial department believe that using the Internet to fall in love is not a bad thing in itself. The key is how to avoid the risks and harms involved. Compared with other forms of love, it is easy to be fooled by superficial phenomena if you do not meet in person online. News of bad guys using online dating to commit crimes are common. Young people must be more careful when dating online.

Edit this paragraph to eliminate the harm of online dating

The second page of "Meizhou Daily" on January 6, 2006 published the article "Online dating led to death, young girl was thrown into the river" , it’s really heartbreaking to watch. This is a typical accident of the dangers of online dating. An 18-year-old girl was in her prime, but she was killed by her "boyfriend" who was "sworn to each other" because of her obsession with online dating, causing her life to wither prematurely... The voice of putting an end to the dangers of online dating is in society. Although we have been calling for it for many years, we have continued to see reports of teenagers being killed because of online dating.

Everyone knows the dangers of online dating, but why do accidents still happen so frequently? The author believes that the key point is that many teenagers now lack healthy interests and hobbies, so they can easily become standard "net bugs" who are immersed in the Internet, which lays the foundation for various problems caused by online dating in the future. The lack of healthy and sufficient interests and hobbies among teenagers is due to exam-oriented education and the alienation of their values. Teenagers do not have the right channels to spend their free time, which invisibly provides an "opportunity" for the Internet to penetrate into their spiritual level. Exposure to the Internet for a long time can easily lead to addiction. Because their ability to distinguish is still weak, they are more likely to be obsessed with the illusory online dating. Once these teenagers fall into the quagmire of online dating, no matter how hard you try to persuade them, it will not be effective. Under such circumstances, it is not surprising that a tragedy occurred in which a young woman accidentally met a male netizen whom she did not know and was killed. To truly eliminate the harm caused by online dating, we must first provide correct conceptual guidance and educate young people who are exposed to the Internet to understand the pros and cons of the Internet; secondly, we must strengthen supervision of young people's use of the Internet. , especially to strengthen supervision of minors’ use of the Internet. In addition, the most fundamental thing is to start from the source - to cultivate adequate and healthy interests and hobbies for teenagers. How can teenagers with a variety of healthy interests and hobbies (such as reading, sports, etc.) become obsessed with the Internet and unable to extricate themselves? Because online dating is predicated on long-term investment in the Internet, as long as you are not obsessed with the Internet, online dating will be difficult to occur. In this way, heartbreaking accidents such as being killed due to online dating can also be avoided.

Edit the results of this paragraph

It depends on whether your relationship is stable, whether there is a possibility of being together, and whether you are willing to work hard~~ I have been online dating before, but it failed. Because the relationship was unstable, we didn’t know each other well, and we didn’t even talk about each other, so the damage was not big, and we broke up easily~~ But my roommate, they have known each other for three years and have been in love for two years. They have always been in a long distance, but Because the man graduated this year, he found a job in the place where we went to school, and they can see each other every day. Maybe they will get married in the future. When they are in a long-distance relationship, the man often comes over because they love each other deeply~~ In short, the key problem is not Online dating, online dating can turn into a long-distance relationship, or it can be a love affair that is no different from ordinary relationships, but the way of getting to know each other is different. My sister is also in a long-distance relationship, and she later got admitted to the university where the man is, and they are together, so it depends on how both parties treat this. The attitude of love rather than the success or failure of online dating.

Edit this paragraph: Online dating is actually narcissism

Editor’s note: With the popularity of the Internet, online dating has begun to enter the lives of many people. It should be said that love is human nature and the Internet is a tool. However, due to incorrect use of the Internet and bad psychology, people's understanding of online dating has been distorted. The four articles published in this edition will help people re-understand the Internet and treat their emotional life better. Although the term "online dating" still has certain differences and controversies in academic circles, it has long been "rooted in people's hearts" in real life: that is, netizens fall in love through the Internet. Enter the word "online dating" into a search engine, and all kinds of information comes flooding in. So how do we understand the phenomenon of “online dating”? The author believes that in today’s virtual world, most unhealthy online dating is a manifestation of narcissism. This view can be found in the theory of French thinker Lacan. Jacques Lacan was a French thinker and psychoanalyst who proposed the famous "mirror stage" theory. Children between 6 and 18 months old will initially identify the child in the mirror as another child when they are in front of a mirror. At this time, the child cannot yet identify his or her own image in the mirror. Later, as he grew up, the child recognized his own image in the mirror: "That's me!" At this moment, the child's heart was filled with ecstasy. In Lacan's view, the child in front of the mirror involves a double misidentification in this process: when he identifies his own image in the mirror as another child, he identifies "self" as "others"; When he recognized the image in the mirror as himself, he regarded the illusion of light and shadow as reality - confusing reality and fiction, and thus began a lifelong obsession with his own mirror image. Lacan further believes that the prerequisite for the formation of the "mirror stage" is the emergence of lack, the imaginative denial of lack, and the emergence of desire. Human beings have a long infancy and early childhood period. During this period, children cannot control their own bodies, cannot perceive and grasp their bodies as a whole, and the only way to connect with the outside world is through vision.

The child moves his hands and feet in front of the mirror, "influencing" his own image in the mirror, and gains the illusion of control over himself and others - for a child who cannot act autonomously, that is an unprecedented power. In today's increasingly accelerating pace, interpersonal relationships in reality are becoming increasingly alienated. Individuals are like a small boat, easily lost in the vast sea of ????people. This is a situation in which scarcity arises but desire does not diminish. The emergence of the Internet just provides people with a "mirror", giving them the opportunity to communicate with others and make up for the shortcomings of reality. With the increase in communication, the goodwill between the two netizens has become stronger, and it seems that they have a good impression of themselves that they have not seen for a long time. The feeling is "on call", and you can take control of this feeling in your own hands without leaving home. The state of "loving you is equal to loving myself" appears. For individuals in modern society, this is also an unprecedented power. But at the same time, in the process of online dating, netizens will have a misunderstanding similar to the "mirror stage": they regard the image on the "net" as a real image and an image they like, confusing the difference between reality and illusion. To a considerable extent, online dating is a process in which both netizens are immersed in the process of finding themselves accepted and finding their own "mirror image". In the general stage of online dating, both netizens also have many characteristics of real love, such as in-depth communication and understanding, physiological arousal, and a sense of responsibility to cherish each other, etc. After this feeling lasts for a while, you will naturally want to meet in person. But as most netizens have experienced, meeting often means the end of the relationship. This is because before meeting, both parties deeply "love" the person in their minds, and love the ideal person they constructed. In fact, they love themselves; after meeting, they find that the other person is not "them". "Yes." To sum up, the author believes that it is advisable to use the Internet as a tool for getting acquainted, but true love may still have to go the traditional "old road".