First, ways to expand contacts.
1, two elements of expanding contacts-self-confidence and communication
In fact, everyone has a set of ways to accumulate contacts, but how can we effectively improve the competitiveness of contacts? The premise is that a person must first have "self-confidence and communication skills".
Among them, self-confidence is expressed as "how big is your comfort zone". A person with no self-confidence has a small comfort zone and is always afraid of rejection. So he doesn't want to go out with others.
Communication ability is the ability to understand others. Including understanding the needs, desires, abilities and motivations of others and giving appropriate responses. And listening is the best magic weapon to understand others. "People have a mouth and two ears. This ratio tells you to listen more and talk less. "
Just like Hu Xueyan, a "red-topped businessman": "No matter how tasteless that person is, he can be serious and stare at him as if he were extremely interested. At the same time, he is really listening. At the crucial moment, he adds a sentence or two to extend one or two meanings, which makes people who talk endlessly happy and naturally feels that they have made friends through speculation. "
2. Eight ways to expand contacts
After building self-confidence and communication skills, what are the ways to expand your contacts?
The development of career and occupation should be the first consideration in network resources.
The planning of network resources is inseparable from the planning of one's career and career. Before planning network resources, we should first make clear the following questions:
What is my career direction?
What industry and type of enterprise do I want to work in?
Do I have a plan to start my own business? In which field or industry do I intend to start a business?
My career is roughly divided into several stages.
Secondly, it is necessary to understand the demand for vocational and vocational network resources, mainly including the following questions:
Is my present career and career progressing smoothly?
If it goes well, who gave me the most powerful support and help? What kind of support will I get from them in the future?
If not, what are the reasons? If it's not my ability, who didn't give me the strongest support? Why don't they help me?
What personal resources do I need to help me achieve my career goals? Do I understand now?
What potential network resources should be developed in order to achieve long-term career goals?
② Effectively classify network resources.
The success of any career is inseparable from effective planning, and so is the expansion of contacts. Effective planning and classification of network resources earlier can achieve the highest level that can help your professionals solve problems with one phone call at any time.
Network resources can be divided into financial network resources, industrial network resources, technical network resources, ideological knowledge network resources, media network resources, customer network resources, high-level network resources, low-level network resources and so on.
According to the degree of importance, network resources can be divided into core network resources, tight network resources and loose backup network resources.
(3) Use the "28" principle to manage network resources.
There is a famous "28" theory in enterprise management, which usually means that 20% of the products of the enterprise create 80% of the profits, 20% of the customers bring 80% of the income, and 20% of the elites create 80% of the performance. The "28" principle tells us that we should grasp the key minority that determines the fate and essence of things.
The same is true of managing personal resources. Perhaps, just a few important people, or even just one person, have a great influence and decisive role in your life's future and destiny. Therefore, we should not use our time, energy and resources equally, but treat them differently. We should spend 80% of our time, energy and resources on the 20% dignitaries who affect or may affect our future and destiny.
④ Personal resources should take into account the needs of material, spiritual and life.
We can't just focus on career development and career success, but ignore the diversity of life and emergency needs. For example, some people are good helpers in your parents' daily life, although they can't play any role in your career and career. You shouldn't ignore them.
At the same time, we should not plunge into the trap of pursuing fame and fortune and forget the original meaning of pursuing happiness in life. For example, you should have one or two real friends. Even if they are rough, they can be honest with you. They will be a mirror for your growth. You should also have one or two good listening partners. They are the people you talk to. When you succeed, they share with you what to buy for your girlfriend. When you are frustrated, they share their troubles with you. You should even have one or two enterprising people. They always disagree with you, but you can always draw the necessary nutrition from their absurd remarks.
⑤ Friendship investment should be long-term.
The flower of friendship must be cultivated over time, and people can't be eager for quick success and instant benefit. Only those who are good at long-term play can catch big fish. A network of contacts extending in all directions needs loving watering, careful combing, careful care and patient expectation. Therefore, it is best to incorporate the management of network resources into your long-term and short-term career and career planning, and gradually develop the habit of managing the network.
According to the classification of different levels of network resources, determine the corresponding contact, access and meeting frequency. On a regular holiday, or the other party's special day, such as birthday, you might as well make a greeting call or send a message of blessing, or send a delicate gift. Especially the key minority of 20%, you should manage it carefully.
6. Worship the cold temple, burn the cold stove, and make friends with the dead heroes.
As the saying goes, "Don't burn incense at ordinary times, cram for Buddha's feet temporarily." Such a bodhisattva, though clever, can't help you. Because you don't have a Buddha in your heart at ordinary times, you only want something. How can Buddha be your tool? So we pray that God should burn incense in peacetime. Burning incense at ordinary times also shows that you have no desire, and out of respect, it is by no means a business. Once something happens, you ask him, and he won't refuse your usual enthusiasm for burning incense.
In addition, if you want to burn incense, go to some cold temples where no one usually goes, and don't just pick hot temples where incense is flourishing. Because there are too many people burning incense in the hot temple, the attention of the immortals is distracted. If you burn incense, you are just one of many pilgrims, and you will not show your sincerity, and God will not have special favor for you. But the bodhisattva in Lengsi is not like this. Usually the cold palace is deserted, and no one respects it. You give birthday presents to the boy who has a crush on you, but you burn incense religiously. Of course, God cares about you very much. Burning a wick of incense in the same way is considered a great favor by the god of the cold temple, and you will naturally take special care of it if you need anything in the future. If one day the feng shui changes and the cold temple becomes a hot temple, God will still treat you specially, and will not treat you as a snob and give your husband a special birthday present.
⑦ Show your value
In modern society, everyone is looking for people who are more successful than themselves, and so are others. If you want to make more friends, you must show your value, show your unique charm and win people's hearts with your thoughts and wisdom. It is very important to tell others what value you can bring to them.
This requires you to accumulate constantly at ordinary times, always absorb fresh information, read more books, enrich your mind, show your different talents in front of different people, and make your network resources wider and more stereoscopic.
Only by constantly improving yourself and increasing your value can you become more and more likable, more and more respected and establish good interpersonal relationships.
Today, only good relations can lead to good results.
The Buddhist scripture says, "Before you become a Buddhist, you must win the hearts of the people." The so-called affinity is to establish a harmonious relationship and good communication with others. If a person wants to make a good relationship in the circle of contacts, he must know how to become attached. The most precious thing in life is "attachment". For the pleasure of our own life and a better world, it is very important to have a good relationship. How can we make a good relationship? In the past, some people lit a street lamp on the road to become attached to pedestrians, some made a tea kiosk to deliver tea to people, some made a bridge to connect people on both sides of the strait, and some dug a well to support the public to become attached to them. These are all valuable good deeds. As long as there is kindness, natural good karma is everywhere, and good doors are everywhere!
Two, eight skills to enhance the competitiveness of contacts
After discussing eight ways to expand contacts, let's study eight skills to improve the competitiveness of contacts.
First, establish an image of honesty and trustworthiness. How to establish a trustworthy image is the key to a virtuous circle of human competitiveness. If a person has to give a 20% discount every time he speaks, the more people he knows, the greater the negative effect.
Second, increase the value of being used. If a person wants to get a good popularity in the circle of contacts, he must increase the value of being used, know how to cultivate contacts with others, be good at understanding others' psychology, meet and adapt to each other's communication needs as much as possible, and make them interested in you. Only by making others interested in you can we have further communication. Therefore, if you can bring more interesting needs and happiness to others, you will have a good relationship immediately.
Third, willing to share with others. Whether it is information, money benefits or job opportunities, people who know how to share often get more in the end. "There are too many opportunities to make money, and it is impossible for a person to make all the money." Ma Yun often says this to his subordinates. Niu Gensheng, chairman of Mengniu Group, and Liu Yonghao, chairman of New Hope Group are all of this type. Ma Yun's mantra is: "As long as you follow me, you will make money."
Fourth, increase the channels for your own exposure. On weekends, many people who don't look like students will be found wandering around the campus of Tsinghua, Peking University, many of whom are adults who have spent a lot of money to study from all over the country. In fact, learning knowledge is only one reason, and the more important reason is to make friends. For those students in "entrepreneur class", "financier class" and "MBA class", making friends may be more important than learning knowledge.
EMBA, tour groups, health clubs and other groups are all good channels to sell themselves to others, and also opportunities to establish their own image.
5. Creativity and carefulness. For example, making good use of the business card management method is a coup. Joe girard, who won the world sales champion for 12 years in a row, always made a wish: exchange business cards with 1000 people, contact 200 of them and make friends with 50 of them.
Cherish every opportunity to help others. Hu Xueyan described Hu Xueyan like this: "When Hu Xueyan is unlucky, he will not find trouble with his friends;" He is proud and will take care of his friends. "
Seven, keep curious. A person who only cares about himself and has no curiosity about the outside world will pass by even if the best opportunity appears.
Black young dragon said: "When you are interested in people, problems always touch people's hearts." For example, Barbara Walters, a famous American TV host, often asks the interviewee in interviews: the most fulfilling thing in your life, your experience of falling to the bottom, what you want to be in the next five years, your first job after graduation, and so on.
Eight, empathy. Psychological law is a common psychological phenomenon and law in interpersonal communication, and it is a causal or chain reaction that one's behavior or action causes others to change accordingly. Correctly understanding, mastering and understanding these potential psychological laws is of great significance for having good contacts.
The book Hu Xueyan profoundly describes the art of making good use of empathy: "It's easy to take ready-made goods without harming others, or just robbing others of their benefits ... It's not easy to make up for offending someone with copper and silver."
The easiest way to expand contacts is to face the existing friends around you with sincere heart. They are the simplest and most practical way and the most important basis for you to expand your contacts. If you can't keep your existing contacts, how can you expand?
Sincerity is the only rule to expand contacts. Don't deliberately expand your contacts with any purpose. The real network is not responsive, but can help you in time when you are in the most difficult time. So keep a normal heart and be honest with everyone around you, and you will naturally have more and more friends and more contacts.
Ok, that's all for today.