Speaking of friendship with boys, as I am now, I don't want to talk about it.

The first reason is that boys who used to be girlfriends have their own families, wives and children after all. If you are still as close as before, in case the other wife doesn't understand, it will easily lead to family conflicts.

Even if the other wife is gentle and reasonable, I don't think it is appropriate: after all, she is not an innocent teenager or young man. When people reach middle age, family comes first. Knowing how to respect the feelings of the other family members and stay away from them is also the truth of being a man.

The second reason is that the sympathy and empathy of boys and girls are much weaker than that of girls because of their different nature.

When a classmate was a teenager, boys and girls were similar in temper and temperament because of their hobbies, and it might be easy to get along every day. When people reach middle age, they become deep and steady with each other, and daily chores and practical problems increase, and hobbies may not be so important, so the opportunities for men and women to gossip and chat together will be much reduced.

Women can also talk about marriage and love, children's education, inner privacy and so on. With men, it is not appropriate to talk about family affairs. If we say that the international and domestic situation, social changes in policies, economic and cultural development, and corporate management inheritance, most girls are naturally weak.

With the widening gap between men and women, friendship has become another form: from intimacy to occasional contact, from wanton ridicule to understanding and support.

After thirty, friends of the opposite sex gradually faded out of my life. The rest of them have little contact. Sometimes, they express their greetings on WeChat on holidays, or get together occasionally, so they seize the opportunity to have a heated chat for a while and go home contentedly. Feelings are still there, and there are words, which is enough.

Speaking of friends of the opposite sex. The first thing I want to say is Mr. B. Why do you say him first? Because his existence is the oldest.

We were classmates in primary school. In the sixth grade, Mr. B fell in love with my best friend Dandan. Dandan is not only lively and lovely, but also the best girl in the class. She ranks first among the few places in the school and is directly recommended to key schools. As a poor student, Mr. B, who is often bullied by others, is not surprising in appearance, good in temperament and has no chance of winning. I was so naive and kind at that time. In order to sympathize with Mr. B, I did a lot for him: I helped him send a note to Dandan, I helped him take a message to Dandan, and I helped him meet Dandan after school. ...

Soon, we will be in junior high school. Danny and I entered Wenzhou at the same time, in the same class. Mr. B failed the grade. He told me privately that he would try to be in the same school as Dandan and be admitted to Wenzhou Middle School next year.

Life in junior high school is extremely beautiful for Danny and me. Danny and I are both good students in the eyes of the teacher, and we are also the right-hand man of the class teacher. We are all provocateurs. In order to protect a good friend in the same class in primary school and different classes in junior high school, we ran to another class, stood at the door of the classroom, called the boy out and threatened the other party not to bully our little sister (it took me years to remember that the other party's father seemed to be the county magistrate! At that time, we were a little ignorant! ) ...... At that time, Danny and I were really awesome at school. Even when we were walking on campus, people pointed at us: that girl, she won the first prize in the reading contest! That girl, the girl who put on a play at the school party. ...

Compared with our activity, Mr. B was completely silent in our original alma mater and gradually forgotten by us.

The next year, I heard that Mr. B was admitted to Wenzhong. On the same campus, but I haven't seen him. Later, Yang Jing, who was in his class and my hospital, occasionally told me about him, saying that he made a joke about his height in class because he was too tall ... However, I didn't feel that this person was no longer in my world.

Time flies.

Then I transferred to another school.

Later, I went further afield to go to college.

I have been in college for almost a year. One day, I suddenly received an anonymous letter from Chengdu. His handwriting is very strange, and his words are very strange. He said that he had been looking for me for a long time. He said that he missed me very much, and he said something, but he couldn't remember clearly. I can't reply without my address and name. In this way, almost every week or two, I will receive such an anonymous letter and watch the other person talking to himself. I guessed all my classmates and friends in Chengdu and wrote letters everywhere, but I still can't find who wrote the letter to me.

This state lasted for a whole year!

One day a year later, he suddenly said his name in the letter. Soon after, he said that he would come to see me in Henan during the summer vacation. This thunder really fell from the sky one after another, which made me so stupid!

That hot summer, he really came.

In the sunny and dusty bus station, he got off the bus and carried a small backpack (more than 30 hours by train and four hours by car, running thousands of kilometers, planning to play for more than half a month, so he just had a backpack and no other extra luggage! I should think that he is a wonderful flower! ), I was shocked when I walked slowly towards me!

I am about 1.8 meters tall, with smooth and fair skin, fine facial features and a decent smile ... I can't find any other words except handsome young people. I can't believe it. It is this kind boy who sympathized with me when I was in primary school. He is unique to Nuo Nuo. I'm really at a loss! I'm so ashamed of myself!

Mr. B stayed in Henan for more than half a month, staying at my boyfriend's house (now his father). Together with other friends, we took him everywhere to play: to play in Baiguishan Reservoir, lying on the top of a friend's bungalow in the middle of the night, chatting with the stars, and sleeping until dawn, awakened by dew; When he went to the Yellow River to play, he took a Coca-Cola can and dug the Yellow River cement so persistently in the sun that he stripped off his nose and neck. ...

Strangely, when this man appeared in front of me, I was still very strange to him and felt very restrained, but soon we talked about everything. He even met all my friends, including Xijun, Nie Zi and Lele, and played together. Later, I thought, this is not because he is good at socializing, but because he is a very honest person. People who are sincere and straightforward are always more likely to make friends.

After the friendship resumed, I began to know him again. He is not an extrovert. On the contrary, he is often introverted and even passive. He and his good friend M Jun, both because they are tall and handsome, have a high rate of turning heads on the university campus, but he doesn't fall in love, not because he doesn't want to talk about it, nor will he chase girls. His inner bohemian and external self-restraint are like two sides of the same coin. He will privately judge M Jun: "Wow, that girl is so overbearing!" But when walking in front of the girl, the expression on her face will be as solemn and holy as the godfather, with extraordinary dignity. He helps M Jun chase girls, and will directly intercept each other's way: "Which department are you from?" Give me your paging number, my friend likes you! " An overbearing CEO, but if he likes someone himself, he won't say anything if he is killed.

A man with such self-control in appearance is extremely unruly in his bones. For example, after graduating from college, he listened to his parents' arrangement and went to work in the administrative department for industry and commerce. It was midsummer, and one day when we were chatting on the phone, I suddenly remembered and said to him, "Hey, you promised to come to Zhengzhou to see me this time last year!" " "He was shocked." Really? I don't remember! " I said, "It's true! It will expire the day after tomorrow! "He said," Oh … but I may not be able to ask for leave in the meantime. The flood season is coming, and we have to be on duty every day ... So, I'll see what I can do ... "I said," Hey, I'm kidding. Although you said so last year, who could have predicted it then? Of course, going to work is very important. " He said, "Yeah. "Then, the next day, I was busy in the office and the pager rang. I opened it and found his message: When will the flight arrive at Xinzheng Airport, please pick it up!

I just freaked out.

Well, after a day in Zhengzhou, I came back to catch a plane. Send me a message when you come back: I just missed work because I couldn't get a vacation, and then I was fined and informed criticism. ...

The fine and fine may be his salary for several months, which I think is really not worth it. He doesn't care. He thinks that commitment and keeping it are more important. Besides, he thinks it's important to do something out of line from time to time.

It is such a unconventional fierce person.

Maybe I am such a conformist in my bones, so we can be best friends for many years. Because of mutual understanding, they will also shout loudly for each other's achievements.

Therefore, whether we can become friends or not depends on the same values.

25-year-old, arrived in Chengdu, and it was very difficult at first. The income is not high, and the rent can be paid monthly, but quarterly or semi-annually, unlike in Zhengzhou. I didn't have enough money with me, so I got into financial trouble at once. After he learned the situation, he threw the salary card directly: take it to spend! I was dumbfounded and asked him: You gave me all your salary cards. What would you do? He said: I live at home and my parents protect me from eating and drinking. Do you want to worry? A look of "impatient to explain, don't give me the runaround".

A year later, I recovered my strength and saved enough money in his card to pay him back. Instead, he was surprised: "Why do you want to pay me back?" Give me my card back! "

This is Liangshan hero. Everyone eats meat, drinks wine, and doesn't share it with you and me. This is what he thought at that time.

After his thirties, he had children and became a son-in-law. I have less opportunities to go out and even see a few friends. In addition, I moved to Dongmen, and he still lives in Wenjiang, west of Chengdu. The opportunity for us to meet is often rare once a year. For a while, he just disappeared. Later, he learned that he encountered many unpleasant things in those two years, such as his marriage and career, which made him almost autistic. When he recovered and became happy, he called me again. The voice on the phone is as bright as the sunshine on the plateau: long time no see, when will you come out? I invite you to dinner!

Stop and think about it. In fact, I have a lot of apologies for him. He has always been my staunchest supporter, giving me advice and all kinds of help when my life is the most unsatisfactory. I seldom gave him even a little comfort in the most unsatisfactory years of his life.

But he doesn't seem to care. When people reach middle age, they look more cautious, even a little more cautious than before. However, I know that he is still the free and easy young man in his bones.

A few days ago, he went to Sichuan University with his wife to study for an MBA, and I often skipped classes with him. At noon, we had tea and chatted in a teahouse. He talked about Kan Kan. Speaking of pride, he was very happy and gestured. ...

I listened and watched, and I couldn't help laughing.

That's great. He is still that high-spirited teenager, and he has not been impacted by the waves of the years into another look. As he himself felt many years ago-

At that time, he had not graduated from college, and Dandan was not dead.

An encounter and a simple dinner made him come to his senses and sigh: the encounter between people depends on a heart after all. It is the same person who will come together and will not change until death. Even if it has changed, it is only a superficial phenomenon. There is always a childhood self hidden in people's hearts, and no matter what, it will not change.

(To be continued)